Chapter Thirteen: Robot Peer Bonding

Jazz was trying to wrap around what Optimus told him and Bumblebee.

"Let me get this straight... you're telling me that the guy that showed up here, scared the living shit out of us, shot at Bumblebee and beat the hell out of the Decepticons wasn't a guy at all? That he was a fembot? And on top of that, she was your ex-girlfriend?"

"In a nutshell, yes. That's an excellent summary," responded Optimus.

"I should have known... She didn't like me... Girls, never, like me," growled Bumblebee.

"Bumblebee, I don't think anybody likes you," Jazz said insultingly.

"I like me."

"I don't think I've seen a girl that mean before. Are you sure she's a fembot? And not a guy? Or like, part guy part cyber shark?"

"I'm pretty sure I'd know if R-C was a guy," said Optimus, "And I'm definitely sure I would know if she was part cyber shark."

"Way, oh, wait oh wait. If she's a girl, then why is she named R-C," asked Bumblebee.

"Uh... because she's from the Speed District."

Bumblebee just stared at Optimus with a confused look.

"Trust me, it makes sense. And you can't blame her for being so aggressive. It's not entirely her fault to begin with."

"Right. You should blame Primus," said Jazz, "First he makes oil hangovers, and now, half fembot, half cyber sharks that won't even sleep with me. Thanks for nothing, Primus!"

"Will you shut up with that," yelled Optimus, "She got recruited in to some kind of weird experimental program back during basic where, they infused her armor with this really aggressive A.I. I'm not really sure how it all works, but all I know is it made her meaner and tougher than hell."

"A.I. What's the A stand for," asked Bumblebee.

"Artificial," said Optimus.

"What's the I,"

"Intelligence."

"Ooohhhhhhhhh what was the A again?"

"Let's move on."

"So, the military put this program in her head, and that program made her a killer. But underneath it all she's really just a sweet, down-home girl," asked Jazz.

"Oh hell no. She's always been a rotten bitch-bot, it's just now she's a rotten bitch-bot with human cybernetic enhancements."

"Wow. Sounds like you really won the lottery with that one. Good catch there buddy, she's a keeper."

"So how're you doing, Bumblebee? Are you following any of this whatsoever?"

"I think so... That guy R-C is really a human, and you're his boyfriend. So that makes you... a gay human."

"Yeah... that's right... I'm a gay human."

Frenzy tried to learn more about the Decepticon prisoner.

"So you're a girl huh?"

R-C was not speaking a word.

"Just ignore him," said Starscream, "That's what I do."

"Not so tough now that we unloaded your weapons, are you."

"Hey punk, I don't need a weapon to kill you," threatened R-C.

"Yeah right what are you going to do. Punch me?"

R-C leaned in at Frenzy quickly, and then leaned back.

Frenzy flinched and step back, "Aaaahhh, not the face."

Back at the Autobot base, Optimus was working something out.

"Well don't worry, because I have a great plan for how we're going to rescue R-C."

"A plan? Oh, man, I hate plans,"complained Jazz."That means we're going to have to do stuff. Can't we just have a strategy, or ...mission statement?"

"I just need you guys to run a distraction, while I spring R-C."

"Distraction? Heh. That sounds a lot like 'decoy'," said Bumblebee.

"The way I see it, the Decepticons have absolutely no idea how many freelancers we have out here. So all I need from the two of you, is to run around in the middle of the canyon, wearing black armor, while I sneak in the back of the base."

"Sounds good. But Optimus, where the hell are we going to get two suits of black armor," asked Jazz.

Optimus turned his attention to the teleporter then Jazz looked at it.

"Oh f&kbolts."