Chapter 13

"Please say something." Randy begged. The scrutinizing look she gave him he could not take.

"Maybe in your mind it wasn't rape." Taylor told him remembering how he did not seem to think the way he tried to "Claim" her was wrong. She felt bad for him, but he had been aggressive enough toward her when she had met him for her to doubt the story he told her.

"It wasn't." Randy growled. "We snuck around for nearly a year. I can't believe she turned on me like that. I loved her and I thought she loved me. And worse, now I have a kid out there being bounced around from one foster family to another. She didn't care enough about me to raise my child! And her parents … that little boy was their blood and they still threw him away because they said he had bad blood."

"Maybe he was adopted."

"He wasn't. In my neighborhood, not many families can afford the kids they have naturally let alone bring in someone else's. Barbie's family didn't want him because I'm his father and my mom didn't make enough money, so the state denied her custody."

"I don't know what to believe." She whispered. "I mean you tell me all this when you're actions ever since I met you contradict it."

"You must believe I'm not dangerous or you wouldn't be here alone with me."

"You attacked me Randy. Maybe in your mind I wanted to be with you, but you know it's not true."

"You wanted what happened on that dock earlier. You had your tongue stuck down my throat." He growled angrily. "Don't tell me you're going to do the same thing she did."

"I gave in to you. I'm not a liar, Randy. I did give into you. But the first time … if I hadn't found that pipe …" she shook her head. "You would have raped me … you would have, wouldn't you?"

Randy let out a deep breath.

"I think so." Even he doubted he wouldn't have. He was so hungry to feel what it was like to be that close to someone. "But when I went after you … my first intentions ….I just wanted that damn uncle of yours to think I was doing as he wanted. If he didn't think you were being hurt … trust me he would have moved you where you would be. I've seen that guy work before."

"What do you mean? You did that because he told you to?"

"Yes. He pulled me to the side and told me he would make sure I was not disturbed and to have my way with you. He put an extra hundred in my account … but it was an act, Taylor. I pretended to … The next guy would do exactly what he wanted and he would have enjoyed doing it."

"That's what you say now. But you sure didn't stop after Kenneth left."

"I lost control. Geeze, Taylor. I haven't touched a woman in years. I told you. This place … I think I got so caught up trying to be tough so these people would fear me too much to mess with me that now I don't know if its act anymore. I guess I wanted you to fear me too. It's a defense that is necessary in here. It's the opposite when you're locked up than it is on the outside. In here, the more you do wrong, the more respect you have." Randy shrugged.

Randy felt better getting telling Taylor what was going on in his mind that day, even though he was sure she did not believe him.

"So, attacking me is another way for you to appear tough?"

"No." He touched her hand. "I can't explain how I feel about you. You confuse me, make me angry, completely puzzle me and turn me on all at the same time. Taylor, I have no problem being your friend. But when I touch you … I just can't … I can't…" He threaded his fingers through her hair and pulled her close for he could kiss her again. "There is something about you, Taylor. When I look at you I get this strange feeling like I know you …"

"But yet you know you've never met her before." Taylor looked up to see John leaned against the end of the aisle. "I can't believe you are using one of my old lines on MY girl. You're pathetic Viper."

Taylor jerked her hand away from Randy. It was obvious. He was manipulating her. He was trying to make her believe he felt connected to her in some way.

"Don't worry, Taylor. I'm not mad at you. He's playing you. Ain't that right, Randy? I mean you said the same thing to Julie the other night. But was it before you got her in your bed … or was it after?" John tapped his finger on his chin. "Hmmm. I just can't quite remember."

"You slept with Julie?" Everything Taylor had begun to feel for him faded in one instant. "But you said you hadn't been with a woman … Oh, you sleaze ball!" She jumped from his side as if she were on a spring. John reached out and touched her arm sympathetically. "John, don't even try …"

'Hey, don't be mad at me, baby." He reasoned softly. "I just want to make sure you're alright."

"John, you and I have been talking for a while and I just came very close to leaving you for one of your friends. How in the hell can you be understanding about that?" She spoke through gritted teeth.

"Call me crazy, but I'm in love. I would rather forgive you for being momentarily blinded and confused than live without you."

"Isn't that another line?" Randy chuckled.

"No, it's not a line. It's not. Love is too serious a word to be thrown around light heartedly. I love you, Taylor."

John seemed so sincere that Taylor suddenly felt guilty for falling into Randy's trap.

"I'm sorry, John." She sobbed. "I'm so sorry."

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