Chapter 13

Kat sat In the courtyard outside of the studio, her dance bag carelessly placed beside her. On her lap she balanced a notebook, but she only used the pen in hand to make markings next to a previously written list of names. She talked slowly and sweetly to somebody on the phone, using her persuasive voice until she could put a check with their name.

She had been at this task for about an hour, and was glad to see that she was making gradual progress on the list, almost all the way to its end. For some people on the list she had to ask around for their phone number, feigning every excuse in the book so that she could ask them their question. What she was doing was supposed to be a total surprise, and she intended to keep it that way until the day it was planned to happen.

Kat was planning a baby shower, a little something so that Abigail would know that people genuinely cared about her over the gossip and their slightly crude mannerisms toward her. The blonde had calmly (although she was losing patience) told every person invited that they had to put away their differences for this day, to make sure that it would be something that Abigail would remember in a positive light. She wanted to make sure that people knew the baby was a good thing, someone the pretty (and now very pregnant) brunette was now proud of and excited to meet.

xxx

It had taken Abigail a while to get to this point. Well, not literally. In a literal, direction-wise sense, it had only taken her about fifteen minutes to get from the apartment to this building. In the sense of her state of mind, however, it felt as though it had been a rough journey to get where she was in the moment.

In a matter of months, Abigail felt as though she was truly growing with the child inside of her. While her baby was developing organs, she was developing her own thoughts. She went from not wanting the baby to never wanting to let it go, to making sure she was constantly healthy and at a stable weight not for herself, but for her child. For the girl who had spent so long thinking that she was the only thing in the world that mattered, it was a big difference to feel her thoughts slowly shifting the other way. She was no longer thinking about what people said for her own benefit, but for the benefit of her child. She was taking notes, making tabs of the people who weren't there for her. She made sure she would remember the people who called the baby names, who talked scornfully and harshly about nothing more than a mere child, not even able to see the light of a world outside of her mother's womb yet. Abigail knew that she wouldn't forget the people who already had opinions about someone who couldn't yet form words, and with that couldn't have made the choice of who their mother was even if they had wanted to.

Her location was something of the same matter. She never thought she'd be there, like her thoughts, but she knew that being where she was would be a good decision in the long-run. She stood in front of a simple white building, almost looking as though it were from a fairy-tale with older, more ornate decorations in its structure. The sign indicating what the building held was covered in butterflies, caterpillars, and colorful handprints. Abigail took a breath, put a smile upon her nervous face, and knocked cautiously on the door. Even from outside of the building she could hear its inner activity; giggling, shouting, and chattering voices, all tiny and some with broken-up speech. She felt her nerves begin to float away.

A taller woman opened the door, smiling brightly at Abigail and greeting her in a kind, gentle voice. Her auburn hair reached just to her chin, which seemed to accentuate her bright blue eyes and soft facial features as it framed them.

"Hi, I'm Abigail Armstrong. I was referenced to this school by a friend whose mother works here?"

"That would be me." The woman answered, shutting the door behind her and turning back toward her classroom. "I'm Sheila Lochte, Addison's mother. Here, take a seat so we can talk." Sheila gestured toward a blue chair, low to the ground, and Abigail took it. The class watched curiously as this strange woman sat to talk to their teacher, who gave the pretty brunette paper after paper while explaining things. Abigail listened, but her attention wandered often to the children, who were trying their best to pay attention to her. They were young, all around two years old. They toddled around her, smiling, until one was brave enough to come toward her.

She was smaller than the rest, but seemed more outgoing. Her hair, the few that she had, was a sandy brown color and secured at the top of her head in a single short ponytail. She waddled up to Abigail and looked at her with big blue eyes, grinning and showing off her tiny teeth.

"And who are you?" The older woman asked during a break in her conversation with Sheila. The toddler was not shy, but rather very outgoing. In a loud voice, she replied that her name was Sydney. Abigail giggled in spite of herself and held out her hand for a high five. The girl, taking the signal the wrong way, heaved herself right upon her lap, making herself comfortable.

"Syd, this is Abigail. She's a ballerina just like Addie." Abigail watched as more of the children's eyes were trained on her. Hearing that she was a ballerina, she thought, must've put her in an even brighter light for the young kids. Soon more came around her, and the older ones who could speak better began to ask her question after question. Sheila laughed and watched as Abigail handled things, trying to answer all of their questions and give each child equal time with her.

She spent the rest of her day at the school, although she only intended to stay for an hour or so. She helped with the program, with cleaning and playing with the children. At the end of the day, Sheila sat her down, a serious look upon her beautiful yet motherly features.

"When the baby is born, we'd really like it if you would work with us. I think you're good with the kids, and they really need someone younger to keep up with them. You're talented from what I've seen today, and I really think you could've found something to replace ballet. Well not to replace it, but to fill that void-keep you busy."

Abigail was stunned. Throughout her day at the school, working alongside Sheila, nothing had been a real challenge to her. She didn't notice that she'd been succeeding because she realized that she hadn't been hell-bent on it. She hadn't gone in thinking about success or failure; Sheila hadn't once used the word disappointed or told her to try harder. She hadn't been pushed to do the things she was doing, and when she made a mistake she was corrected in a nice, calm voice. She felt an elation similar to once she felt when doing ballet, but this one held a softer meaning, glowed in such a way that it stayed with her the entire way home. She couldn't stop thinking about the kids, about how fun they were to be around and how her next visit would be something she truly wanted to do. Abigail had never felt this way about ballet. Maybe being a mother was truly something of fate, something she wouldn't have realized she was good at because she was previously very opposed to it. Now, however, she couldn't wait to begin her own motherhood.

Xxx

When she arrived home it was dark, unusual for this time of night. Usually, she and Kat would have dinner together before the blonde had to go to extra classes. Now, however, the hallways leading to the apartment were quiet. She could not hear Kat's music blasting as loud as the neighbors would allow, could not smell the sweet aroma of her baking. It was a strange occurrence, but Abigail decided to think nothing of it. With third year exams coming up, the ballerinas would be up to their elbows in complete and utter stress, piled on from every direction and teacher imaginable. It was not all that fun of a time, but making it past meant that everybody was one step closer to the company and the weaker ballerinas were gone and no longer distracting.

Normally the two would tell each other when their schedules changed, but she thought nothing of it; she herself had gotten hung up at the school, and it was a stressful time for both of them. Along with third year exams for Kat (and Abigail's academic exams), the baby was due to come in a month or so. With things becoming so hectic, it was no surprise that they'd both forgotten to call the other.

The actual surprise came when she flicked the light on in their apartment. As light flooded its empty spaces, so did the cheers of around twenty people. Some clapped, others simply smiled and waved at her. Kat was the first to really talk, coming from the center of the group to hug her friend. At this point in time, all of the awkward feelings from their past were completely erased. There was not a single trace of bad vibes between them, only the same level of closeness they'd obtained when they were five years old and playing house together.

"I wanted to throw this party to say congratulations to Abigail, and to let her know that we all love her and support her. Plus, a baby shower is something you have to have." Abigail chuckled at her friend, who was introducing the party to her while playing hostess. She was quite good at it too, shuffling from person to person and making sure that everything was alright.

Abigail recognized a great number of students from the academy, people she'd talked to maybe twice in all of her days there. She found it nice that they were there, so willing to support her. Addison was there too, sat on the couch chatting with Benjamin Tickle. Paige ran up to her, hugging her tight before Abigail even realized who she was. When she did, however, she hugged back with just as much force.

"I've missed you, Paigey!"

"Kat came and picked me up at dad's. He said he wanted to come but didn't know if he'd be very welcome after your run-in at the store with him and Georgie."

"Oh, the girlfriend?"

"She's alright, Abbi. She looks like she's not, but she's actually really nice. Nicer than mum has been, at least. If you think about it, as much as it really hurts, they're better off without each other." Abigail merely shook her head, letting a small smile break through what had been a frown at the mention of her father. Of everybody in her family, Paige was the one she missed the most after being away so long. She had hated having to imagine what she was going through; thirteen and no big sister to talk to about her problems. She seemed fine, though, and Abigail was filled with pride for her younger sister. She had matured to a point that was much beyond her years, understanding things like the divorce in a manner she knew she hadn't thought of, unable to get past the bitter feelings that still lingered when it was mentioned.

From behind Paige she could see an old friend, someone she'd had an incredibly hard relationship with. They'd been friends, but their friendship was fueled by their intense passion to win at any costs. She was like the old Abigail, ignored when she'd grown out of that phase. She didn't know if her old friend remained in that phase, but seeing her again brought feelings of anger as well as remorse; of wanting back what they'd once had even though it seemed terrible.

Grace Whitney had been Abigail's first friend at the academy. Well, friend was an overstatement. They'd been…partners in crime, a duo who liked nothing more than to climb to the top of the pyramid at any cost. Now, Grace sat on the couch in her apartment sipping on soda and looking around, watching others converse with each other.

"You're here too?" She asked, sitting down next to the blonde with some effort from her now larger body. Grace looked over and smiled, a sort of smaller, weakened expression. She shrugged, taking another sip of her drink. "Not that I mind, I mean it's great to see you again."

"I chose Sydney, I wanted to stay close to everybody. I know what I did was horrible-"

"-Not to be that person, but everything you did was horrible. Then again, I was horrible too."

"I just wanted to be around people who were nice to me when nobody else was. And I know toward the end of last year we weren't really civil to each other, but I wanted to apologize for that too. I just…I wanted people to like me so badly, and in those few weeks we were really good friends, I thought it was because we were both being mean to everybody else. I guess I was wrong there. I'm just hoping that you can forgive me and give me another chance, I'd really like to try and be your real friend this time." Throughout Grace's mini-speech she looked straight at Abigail, playing with her hands in her lap. Her shoulders were slumped submissively, like a white flag going up over a ship. She was truly sorry, had practically begged Kat on her knees to come. She wasn't the only one, although it seemed easier for Abigail to forgive Grace than it was to stand civilly in front of Tara Webster.

"Having you gone from the academy has made me realize what a pain in the ass everybody else is. There's no competition, nobody as good as you to push me to work hard. I don't know why I did the things I did, but I know that they were wrong." Abigail couldn't tell if Tara was lying or telling the truth, but hearing what she said seemed to let a little anger boil in her stomach. How would it be fair to let Tara apologize so quickly, when things had turned from alright to worse in a matter of seconds because of her? How would that make things alright for her?

"Is that all you have? After what you said about me and the baby and Sammy? About how he had no real feelings for me?"

"For now it is, Abigail. I can't think of anything to say that'd be good enough for a real apology. But until I think of something a little better I just want you to say 'ok.' That's all. Just say that you'll wait for me to sort out whatever's going on with my mind that's made me say these things because I don't know what it is and it scares me, it truly does."

One thing getting pregnant made Abigail learn was that she had to grow up. In a literal sense, she was fine for her age; eighteen and tall enough, heavy enough for her pregnancy. With the way her mind worked, though, she knew that she had to become more mature before she could mother a child. If she wasn't mature, then how could she expect the same from her baby? If she wasn't calm, wasn't willing to accept people for who they were, then why should her child?

Tara had done everything wrong to Abigail. Grace had screwed a lot of people over in her times. Hell, Abigail had even caused her share of damage. They were girls, there would always be drama between them no matter what happened or how much they matured. There would always be something annoying about another, or something they didn't like. The fact the brunette forced herself to learn, however, was that things like this could be controlled if a person truly wanted to change, and with a baby change was something she needed to do. Seeing past Tara's flaws was one thing, but seeing past her own was another.

Abigail was judgmental. She was rude, a bit bossy, and had something within her that made her bitterness continually come into her life. Throughout the past eight months, however, she learned these things about herself, worked to change them. She smiled more, didn't over think things or let them get into her head. She tried to pull her reigns back a bit, let other people take control when her pregnant body disabled her from doing the things she wanted. Most of all, she learned that to be a happy person was to forgive other people for what they had done. The weight of her many grudges seemed to come off of her all at once then, in the middle of her party as she embraced Tara and Grace simultaneously, forgiving them for what they had done to her. Things would be put in the past now, where their older selves would be looked back on with chuckling and many shaking heads.

Abigail sat in the armchair of their living space, twenty or so friends around her. And as she unwrapped their gifts, she finally felt as though she were completely ready to have her child. Now, all she had to do was wait a little bit longer.

a/n: Terribly sorry for all of the author's notes, but it's the best way to communicate with you guys.

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