A/N: TW for anxiety. If you want to avoid that part, you can read up to the line and skip the rest. Thanks so much to my friend Sam for helping me write this part xx

As I said before, the idea of the Divergent Force and part of the plan here belongs to the amazing TrinineWriter.

I don't really like some of the chapters I've posted, so I'll probably edit the whole thing soon, unless I don't feel it's worth it. Idk. Anyway, here's a longer chapter, by my standards.

Chapter 13

Jeanine had rounded up her new team for a meeting to discuss strategy and be prepared for whenever Dauntless was going to act. She did not know for sure what Max's plan was, as the hearing devices which were placed throughout Dauntless were well-known to the faction's leaders, who had been able to avoid spilling any important information. Of course, she had people who worked for her and who had tried to collect information from the few known traitors in Erudite, but these did not seem to know, or at least they did not discuss the question even between themselves.

They met in the meeting room connected to her office, as, since Beatrice's remark, she avoided wandering around when she could avoid it. It was also one of the few places in the compound which were not observed by any security cameras.

When Beatrice arrived, Jeanine smiled at her in her customary silent greeting, and patted the empty chair next to her in silent invitation. On her other side, a few members of Erudite were whispering, not wasting a minute. The Divergents arrived in small groups, most of them among members of their factions. Jeanine smirked. Their genes couldn't be categorized, but their social life clearly could. The Dauntless arrived at the last second, trained to obey orders but in the most last-minute way possible. Or possibly just wanting to make an entrance.

Those who had declared themselves the leaders of each faction sat around the table, the majority took a place in the seats behind. Most of the Factionless sat in the seats behind, though Evelyn chose a seat at the table close to her son. Beatrice was surprised at how large the whole group was, she had only seen them a few at a time, but they were a powerful alliance. Or they had the potential to become one, if they were organized.

"Good afternoon, and welcome to those who arrived recently. The goal of this meeting is to discuss our plan for when Dauntless will launch the simulation," Jeanine started. "As we do not know when they will attack, we have to be ready to implement it with very little notice." She paused to let the words sink in, then continued. "We know that they will not only attack Erudite with soldiers who are under the simulation, but they will be able to control everyone, although we ignore exactly how. As you know, those of you who are Divergent are the only ones who cannot be controlled by the serum. First of all, what is crucial is to defend our computers against both destruction and theft. They cannot be allowed to possess our data, or they will be able to use serums to control us all at will, they will be able to control us, erase our memories and destroy us in the worst possible ways. So we will need to divide you into groups, to organize the Divergent Force."

A man from Amity intervened. "What if we don't want to be part of the violence?"

And before Jeanine could answer, the woman next to him added in an accusing tone, "You promised us shelter, that did not include being recruited in an army."

Murmur rose among them, some in assent, some in annoyance.

Jeanine held her hand up, and the room fell silent nearly at once. Beatrice smiled inwardly, impressed at the respect Jeanine inspired. Once again, she could see the leader in her, why she was the best for this job. She radiated power.

"You will have the possibility to stay completely outside of the conflict," she said calmly, having expected the protests. "However, if we lose, you will suffer from the consequences as we all will, so I encourage you to at least consider taking part in the non-violent aspects involved in the protection of our data. There are roles in the plan which will not require violence, as for instance the surveillance of security cameras, which is in a room which will be protected. You will only need to communicate what you see to those who are closer to the conflict, to help to save lives."

They spent the afternoon planning the coming conflict. Jeanine knew that all those people would risk their lives, though at different degrees, and the responsibility was weighting on her shoulders. She was sending them to fight, it would be her fault if they died. Some of them would die, it was inevitable. She glanced at Beatrice, sitting next to her and felt her shoulders tense. She was the first person she had trusted in years, would she lose her too?

She shook herself out of this train of thought. Focus, she told herself coldly. It is necessary to risk lives to protect everyone, do not think about individuals. Control your thoughts, do not let your emotions control you. Emotions are weaknesses. Focus on the task. Her mind automatically repeated these words like a mantra, and her face was devoid of any emotion and her voice cold when she addressed the next question.

When she started coughing about an hour later, she knew it wasn't going to stop quickly. She hadn't been breathing normally for a long time – the main effect stress had on her was shallow breathing, and, in the long term, it did not bring a satisfactory amount of oxygen to the body, causing a persistent cough. It was not the first time, the high expectation others had of her and then her own high standards put her under a lot of pressure.

She had learned very young to bottle up her emotions so that she would stand strong and emotionless, but they always came out somehow, usually in the form of panic attacks in the privacy of her rooms. Coughing usually meant that she had bottled up too much, and the panic would come in stride.

It started with the feeling of not being able to get enough air and a quiet but harsh cough. The sudden spasms of her ribs caused by the cough woke up the remaining neurological pain from her previous attack, she felt a sharp pain curl around her left side, and knew it could only escalate from there.

Jeanine felt her chest tighten as looks lingered on her for a second too long, she knew her cough had attracted some attention. Concerned that she would not make it out of the room without anyone noticing anything wrong unless she left immediately – nobody ever witnessed these moments of weakness – she decided she had to find a way to leave inconspicuously. She was usually able to ignore the pain and control her panic until she was on her own, but she knew she was too weak for that now, the recent attack, coupled with the lack of sleep, had left her drained.

She called the meeting to a close, with the pretense that she thought everybody should think about their contribution to the plan and come up with an answer first thing in the morning – adding that they would meet again in the morning. It was a sudden ending, but people never questioned her, and this was no exception. They did not even look surprised, simply following her decision, and while Jeanine was usually irritated by people's tendency not to think for themselves, this time she was glad for it.

Once people started leaving, she stood up and left as well. She could not say that she had not noticed that Beatrice was following her. She could blame her failure at telling her to leave on the fact that her brain was not in its normal functioning state, but if she was true to herself, she had to admit that she wanted her to follow, that she wanted her to be there as a friendly comforting presence. She knew that, no matter the feeling of shame and helplessness, she didn't want to face this on her own anymore.

Beatrice had followed Jeanine to her living room, having noticed the state in which she had left the meeting. When she let herself in and locked the door behind her, Jeanine was leaning against the wall, overcome by dry hacking coughs which, from the way her arms were laced around her torso, seemed to cause her pain.

She was feeling increasingly out of breath, she couldn't get enough oxygen and every cough was worsening the pain which had started that day in the lab what felt like so long ago, but was actually barely more than two weeks, before everything had happened. She was losing all sensation but the pain as her ribs were spasming, unable to hold her in a standing position anymore, and she felt herself sliding down the wall and suddenly Beatrice was there, talking to her, though she couldn't make out her words through the roaring in her ears. She barely felt the arms that were holding her up as her strength gave way and Beatrice helped her to the sofa, this time actually supporting her every movement as Jeanine was unable to stop coughing long enough for the weakness and pain to fade. She guided her to a lying position, and Jeanine immediately curled up, her arms still wrapped around herself.

She was pale and her skin was clammy, but her eyes were dry and no sound of anguish escaped her, not one cry of pain, only the shallow, irregular and quick breathing and the violent coughs which made her entire body shudder and her arms tighten around herself in a vain attempt to stop the pain. It was as if her body was reacting but with a deeply ingrained fear of being punished for it, and Beatrice couldn't feel more helpless.

After seeing her struggle for a few more moments with no improvement, Beatrice sank to the floor next to the sofa and rubbed slow circles on her back in an attempt to soothe and ground her. "Jeanine," she said in a low voice, "Jeanine, you need to breathe deeply. Listen to my breaths," she added, purposely taking slow, deep breaths. After a while, Jeanine started matching her breathing to Beatrice's. It took her a moment to fight the instinct to breathe shallowly to avoid the pain, but after a while of focusing on Beatrice's breaths, hers finally approached normal again, and the worst of the coughing slowly subsided.

A few minutes later, Jeanine started moving again. "What are you doing?" Beatrice asked as she saw Jeanine trying to push herself back up.

"I can't stay here, I have to go to my personal rooms," she said in a weak voice. Beatrice remembered that her apartment had additional security, so she knew it was a wise decision. Jeanine still had one arm wrapped around her side and was using her other arm to try to sit up, but she was too weak and the simplest attempt to force her body to cooperate was causing her sharp pains. She grimaced. "I'm afraid I'll need your help again." She hated to admit to weakness, but it was that or stay there. Usual aches, she could deal with, push to the back of her mind and ignore to a certain extent, but these sudden and irregular spasms of pain throughout her left side were difficult to ignore.

Beatrice nodded. Jeanine was looking anywhere but at her, wishing she was on her own, yet somehow glad that she wasn't. Beatrice sat on the couch next to her, and, noticing her embarrassment and understanding her feelings all to well, she smiled encouragingly at her. "Hey, it's okay. It's not your fault." She placed a hand under her, gently supporting her and giving her the additional strength she needed to move into a sitting position. "Come on," she said, "let's do this so you can have some rest."

Jeanine relied heavily on Beatrice to help her back up, but was able to stand on her own now that the coughing had stopped. Still, Beatrice kept an arm around her, supporting her physically as well as mentally, and as they reached the door and it unlocked when scanning and recognizing Jeanine's finger signature, Jeanine looked at Beatrice for a moment, debating with herself, until she nodded, answering the question in her mind. "You can come, if you'd like."

Beatrice was surprised but she was glad to be let a little more into her life, glad that her affection and desire to help were accepted as such and not rejected as something less genuine, like pity, or even worse, like a duty. Knowing that Jeanine was a very private person, Beatrice cherished every occasion in which Jeanine trusted her and opened up to her.