Gorseclaw didn't feel good, breaking the warrior code. He was pacing further and further along unfamiliar Thunderclan territory. Neither Birdflight nor the recently-appointed Oakstar let either he or his sister patrol that area. Their blood clan had been ripped from that very area. Birdflight thought it would be too traumatic, seeing it, but in truth Gorseclaw hardly remembered and thought Birdflight was projecting her own fears onto her kits.
He heard the bushes rustle behind him and he immediately slunk down into a hunting crouch. But from the bushes came a soft-spoken voice that he didn't expect.
"...Gorseclaw?"
Spottedpelt.
Oh, why had Starclan cursed him. He could never explain to his own sister that he was leaving. He couldn't even bear to face her.
He sat up.
"Sp-Spottedpelt… um, kits keep you up?"
He heard her step closer, "What are you doing out here, so late?"
"I…" he gulped, "Just exploring the territory, you know, Birdflight never lets us come here and you know what they say, curiosity killed the cat!"
Spottedpelt flattened her ears and Gorseclaw felt the need to claw his own throat out immediately after realizing that was a kittypet phrase. Spottedpelt sighed and sat down.
"You've always been an awful liar. What's really happening, Gorseclaw?"
Gorseclaw sighed and couldn't tell if it was courage or cowardice that made him face her, head hung. "I'm-I'm leaving. Maybe I'll become a kittypet? Maybe I'll go on a journey to find Skyclan again?"
Spottedpelt looked mortified, her green eyes wide in shock. Is that what his father looked like when the other leaders told him to leave?
"Wh-What? Why?!" Spottedpelt gasped, "You don't want to stay with me? With mom? You don't what to see your niece and nephew become warriors?!"
Gorseclaw blinked, looking down at his paws. Frecklekit and Birchkit loved playing with him so much. He felt his eyes feel with water. He couldn't stay and he couldn't leave. If Oakstar found out he'd tried he'd be exiled anyway.
Gorseclaw gasped, holding back tears, and turned back away. "I'll see you all in Starclan," he promised.
"No!" exclaimed Spottedpelt.
"I love you! I love all of you! I'm so sorr-rey-ey….!"