Disclaimer: I do not own any recognizable characters or settings. Spoilers for Captain America: The Winter Soldier.
Silence
"You went after our leader and killed him. You saved Cassandra from him... Not that you realized it at the time, you thought she had died. You called for an airstrike and destroyed the base. I barely made it out with her," Cain spoke as the Soldier seemed to get control of his migraine.
Bucky was shocked to hear that he had saved someone. Instead of hurting her, he had saved her. He lowered his weapon and put it away. Cain had stopped packing and began to speak again, "After that I made her take the odd job here and there. Cass despised it. A few years later Fury found me. He made a deal with me, he'd look the other way if I found someone to take on a particularly difficult job. Cass excelled at her work and Nick kept her on. I haven't seen her since."
That last bit was a lie. He had seen her. When the smoke cleared in Washington he looked for her. He saw her when the EMT's were carting Rogers off to the ICU wing of a hospital. She was next to him the whole way there.
Then he saw her speaking with Romanoff. Cassie was smiling at her. David hadn't ever seen her smile so brightly.
It broke his heart.
Bucky wanted to know more. "Her mother?" He thought she might be dead given the line of work the Cain family was attracted to.
Cain actually laughed at the question, "Her mother? Her mother was the particularly difficult job Fury needed her for. Shiva was trying to kill him. Cass stopped her." Not interested in continuing the conversation, David diverted, "Just like she stopped you from killing Fury... I'd say I'm unimpressed with your recent work but then it was to be expected with the kind of opponents you chose. If Rogers doesn't find you, Cassandra will."
"I didn't choose anything," Bucky gritted out, he became tense and defensive.
"Oh, that's right, you didn't." David smiled cruelly, "You know, Cass won't be so nice to you when she finds out you spoke to me. She isn't very fond of her father."
"But you're fond of her." The Soldier quickly spat out. He might be disoriented but he wasn't an idiot. He could hear it in Davids voice. He loved her. It was normal for a father to love their daughter but the way Cain showed his love was sick. It was in the form of pain and blood.
The cruel smile on Davids lips didn't falter, "I'm not the only one. Fury, Hill, Romanoff, Wilson, Rogers, they all enjoy her company. She found her own little surrogate family with the Captain, one you're not a part of."
"Enough," Bucky ordered.
Cain slammed the drawer shut so hard, all the furniture in the room shook. "No. You came to me. You're the one looking for answers. I didn't seek you out. I say when it's enough." Cain seethed dangerously. He looked him in the eyes for a moment before moving to grab all of his belongings. His calm demeanor came back quickly. "You are a killer. Cassandra is a killer. You're both no better than me, you just refuse to acknowledge it."
Cain made his way to leave his luxurious hotel room behind but he stopped at the door and said one last thing to the Soldier, "The only difference between us is that Cass and I are still alive and you died in 1944."
The Winter Soldier sat there in the silence. He was still looking at the door that David Cain had walked through hours ago. His head was still pounding.
What Cain had said to him... it was true. All of it was true. He was a killer. He could wash his hands a thousand times but the blood would still be there. It would always be there. He couldn't change that. Cassandra and Steve, they had a family, as unconventional as it may be. He wasn't part of it.
And he was not the man he was in 1944.
He was someone else altogether.
The Winter Soldier was undeserving of forgiveness. He was undeserving of Steve's forgiveness. He was undeserving of Cassandras sincerity. Bucky prayed that one day he might be deserving. Was he selfish enough to take what he didn't deserve? He could walk right up to Stark Tower, it wasn't far. Stark would contact Steve immediately and he'd arrive some time later. Steve would look at him with that hopeful look in his eyes. Cass wouldn't be far behind. She'd smile at him. God, no one had smiled at him in so long.
A drop of water fell onto his arm. He wiped it off and smeared it between his fingers. Alarmingly he looked up, thinking it was some trap that Cain set up. There was nothing on the hotel rooms intricately painted ceiling. He felt another drop. He wiped his face and found that it was wet. His brows tightened.
The weight of his misfortune was caught in a ball that was stuck inside his throat. He felt his hands tremble. His breathing was shallow and quick, his mouth quivered. His nose flared and after a minute of trying to contain himself his knees hit the floor. His hands dug into the plush red carpet as he shook and groaned.
Even if he got every single memory back, it wouldn't turn him back into the man he once was. It wouldn't make the blood go away.
AN: I'm very grateful for any feedback I get!
Completely unrelated, I want to write a Gambit/Rogue story and I want to see if anyones interested in that?