Addiction

Disclaimer: own nothing

Please Review and Enjoy!

Alternate chapter of Rollercoaster. This one Jenny dies.

Love Reviews

Ch12A: Dejection

I sit feeling as if I'm going to pass out or have a full fledge panic attack.

Ray takes Rose to the cafeteria, I see Catherine leave the elevator and walks towards me. I feel no awkwardness so what we had sex I've had sex with hundreds of women a quarter of those I work with or have worked with. Why should I start let it bother me now?

"How is she doc?" I say nervous turning my attention to Jenny's doctor. His face looked grim.

"Please sit," he says I feel an overwhelming knot in my stomach.

"I'm sorry but we weren't able to stop the bleeding. She died just a little while ago..." the doctor says I fly out of my seat running my hands through my hair squeezing my head.

"No! No! No..." I mutter to myself. Why Jenny? Why did I have to come to east bumble fuck I should have stayed home and this whole thing would have been avoided.

"I'm really sorry," the doctor says

"Sorry?" I yell, he doesn't realize who was on his operating table. Jenny is the only woman that knew everything about me and still loved me. She's the only person I have ever loved and now she is gone. I don't care that she just broke up with me I know we could have worked things out.

"Nicky," Catherine says touching my back trying to soothe me. But it feels like I'm drowning. I turn and plow my fist thru the wall trying to ease some of the anger that was building up but it only made it worst. My blood feels like it's boiling, my heart isn't broken it's destroyed. I cry for Rose at just two years old her mother is dead. I break down into uncontrollable sobs to think of Rose's first day of school and Jenny not be there to put her on the bus. Rose's moving up ceremonies. Rose's prom and her graduation all things Jenny is going to miss. What is going to happen to Rose now? The thought of me not being able to keep custody of Rose destroys the remainder of my heart. I get to my feet wiping my eyes trying to compose myself but I can't.

"Where is Rose?" I ask looking around remembering that Ray took her to the cafeteria. I wipe my eyes and head towards the elevator. Catherine tries to stop me because I know I am in no shape to see Rose knowing that I would probably scare her or upset her but if I don't see her I'll go crazy if I haven't already. I push past Catherine searching for the cafeteria.

"Nicky..." she says I ignore her looking for Rose. Blood or not she is my daughter, and I'm not leaving without her. I see her sitting in the cafeteria across from Ray, telling him a story. She sees me and runs to me and I pick her up.

"Nicky!" she says excited. Her face changes when she sees mine she frowns. She the smiles at me wiping my tears away. "Did mommy go away again?"

"Yea..." I whisper choking on my own sobs. I know she doesn't understand what any of this means.

"It'll be okay," she says hugging me squeezing me tight.

"Come on, I'll bring you guys home." Catherine says I nod wiping tears from my eyes not allowing myself to cry in front of Rose.

As I search my fridge for a bottle of beer I feel the urges come back and the fact that Catherine is still here doesn't help me either. Rose is asleep in her room long car rides always put her to sleep.

"Did anyone notify her family?" I ask opening my beer.

"Her next of kin was you but Brass was able to find her father in San Diego. He's coming into town tomorrow with her sister, Brass said he sounded upset." she says I sit on the couch staring at a photo of Jenny and me.

"When?" I say not looking up at her.

"I'm not sure, I think he said around nine. I'll call him later and find out... Are you going to be alright tonight?"

"Yeah..."

"I'll call you in the morning," she says leaving. I continue to drink thinking of Jenny trying not to. I think of all the times Jenny and I have ever shared and I miss her already. The more I drink better the memories and then worst the memories until I don't even know what I'm thinking. I watch Rose sleep wondering how long I get to keep her. Jenny's family is probably going to want to take custody but then again I don't know. I am so uncertain on so many things. Usually you meet your girlfriend's family when things are getting serious not to discuss funeral arrangements.

I feel like Jenny's going to walk through the door any moment and tell me what I cruel joke this was. It doesn't feel like she's gone her belongings are still everywhere it feels like she's at work pulling a double. No one knows what I'd give to have her come through that door.

I fall down trying to make it to my room I look at my phone debating whether or not to call up some old friends for a booty call. But I open up my phone and see a picture of Jenny and Rose. I throw my phone off to the side as I collapse on my bed. Finally letting the alcohol take my body into a deep slumber.

Funeral arrangements next chapter but what will happen with Rose?