12. Decision

I didn't sleep very much that night.

Actually, I was restless until about 1:00 AM where I finally went to sleep. But the dream that met me wasn't really a pleasant one.

I was at the beach in La Push again but it was raining, and I could clearly feel how I slowly got drenched. As I looked down at myself, I noticed that I was only wearing a knee-length, white summer dress with straps. When I looked up again I saw the sun setting in the horizon, but it wouldn't stop raining. I started heading for the forest to search for cover, but didn't get far before I saw Jacob running out of it.

"Run Michelle!" he yelled with an expression of horror on his face.

"Why?" I couldn't see anyone or anything I should be afraid of.

"Michelle you have to run!" he screamed once again, and then he ran past me. I stared after him in astonishment, when I suddenly heard a low growl behind me. Slowly, I turned around.

In the clearing of the forest stood none other than Edward – well hidden in the shadows.

We stood a while like that, only starring at each other. Him, with a smug smile, and me with an amazed – and probably trustful – expression.

His skin began to glow, the darker it got. When I was finally sure it was night, I felt the moonlight shine on my bare skin. But I didn't look to check it. I couldn't risk looking away from Edward to find that he was just a dream.

Then he calmly walked towards me. My heart began beating faster and my brain screamed at me to get a grip. When he reached me, my body automatically made me walk one step backwards.

"Trust me," he whispered and I got a short glimpse of his fangs. He walked closer, but I could only stand there, nailed to the spot. When he was standing just inches from me he smiled and I clearly saw his sharp teeth.

I knew I should be afraid but there was no fear in me. My eyes could only stare trustful into his.

His right hand, tenderly stroke my cheek and the blood boiled under his cold touch. Then he leaned his face closer to mine, and my heart began to race. I heard a quiet growl behind me.

When his lips were less than inches from mine, my breathing came out in gasps, because I was hyperventilating. Then I closed my eyes.

But his lips never met mine. Instead I felt how his head lowered and moved towards my neck, and his cold breath touched my throat. My breathing quickened even more, but I didn't move an inch. I knew that he wouldn't do anything to me. I trusted him.

As his lips were millimeters from my throat, a high growl sounded and I felt how Edward disappeared from my side. I opened my eyes in fright and saw a big red-brown wolf throw itself at Edward.

"NO!"

I fell out of my bed and to the floor with a loud bump. Perplexed I got up and tried to clear my thoughts. What had I just dreamed?

Nicole suddenly opened the door and stuck in her head. "What's wrong? You were screaming." she asked with a worried voice.

"I had a nightmare," I shortly explained.

"Oh, okay." she shrugged before she came into my room. "Is it anything you want to talk about?"

I blushed and looked to the floor. It was probably best to keep the information about Edward being a vampire, to myself – if it even was the truth. And if you don't want to spend the rest of your life in a straitjacket, I added in my thoughts.

"You don't need to tell me if you don't want to. It's just if it'll make you feel better." I looked up again and saw that Nicole sat on the edge of the bed. I sat down beside her.

Quietly, I sighed before I told her about my dream – purposely leaving out the fact about Edward's teeth. I only told her that it had been night and a wolf had attacked him as he tried to kiss my throat.

Unfortunately, I blushed every time I mentioned Edward, just because it made me remember how close I had been to kissing him in my dream.

Nicole only looked at me with a thoughtful expression. She looked like she was deep in thought. And when she finally said something, it made me blush even more. "I think the wolf was a reminder of the promise you made to yourself. When it threw itself at Edward, it was to create distance between you." But I knew better – it had been one of the wolves from La Push, trying to protect me from the vampire Edward. But instead of telling her, I nodded and she continued, "And the fact that you let him come that close to you, is maybe a sign about what you feel for him right now?" she looked questioning at me.

My face could only flush with embarrassment. I wasn't sure about what I felt for him – even though he was a vampire.

"But what do I know," she tried to lighten the mood by being playful. I tried to smile as convincing as I could manage.

"Do you actually know what time it is?" I asked her after a while.

For a moment her face turned tired and she yawned, "It's only half past four."

My eyes widened. Half past four in the morning! "I'm really sorry, Nicole!" I started but she cut me off.

"It doesn't matter. You couldn't know," she got up and smiled at me. "But at least now you feel better." and then she went into her own room again.

I threw myself, head first, onto my bed and let the thoughts swirl in my head. Of course I knew that the wolf too was a symbol for the distance I should create – I had to create. Even though Edward was a vampire, I had to ignore him. It was like he had told me; he was dangerous. If I was smart, I'd keep away from him.

But could I ignore him? Was I in love with him or was it just a little 'crush'? An attraction?

I didn't know what it was at this point, but I knew that it was bigger than anything I had ever felt before. And if I didn't put an end to it now, then I would surely end with a bleeding heart once again...

Immediately tears started forming in my eyes – I didn't want to stop it, I knew that. But it would be better if I did. Much, much better for my heart.

An image from my dream appeared in my mind. It was Edward touching my cheek and leaning towards me. How my heart longed for it actually to happen! But I knew that it would only happen in my dreams. Edward would never like me that way, and then I would get hurt if I didn't begin to ignore him again.

I let out a sigh, followed by a few sobs, before I pulled the carpet over me and closed my eyes. But I couldn't sleep...

When the clock struck six I couldn't lie in my bed anymore. Instead I got up, went into the bathroom and showered. Then I went into my room again and picked an outfit I would never wear in public: a pair of sweat pants and one of my way to big T-shirts my brother had given to me. Then I started on an essay for English about Macbeth, a paper that was due Wednesday.

But I couldn't concentrate and didn't spend a very long time by my computer, before I got restless again. I couldn't keep the thoughts about Edward, his family, vampires and the treaty that kept them from La Push, out of my head. I knew that if I didn't come to a conclusion in this, I would never be able to concentrate again.

I quickly wrote two notes, both with the same message:

Going for a walk in the forest. I'm home at about lunch time.

Michelle

Then I put one note outside Nicole's room and outside her parents. I grabbed my raincoat, took on my rubber boots and walked out the front door. I needed to collect my thoughts, and the woods were the only place I could think of that could possible help me with hat.

It wasn't raining yet but it was a little foggy, and the clouds looked a little threatening as they were floating past me. I sighed as I walked into the forest. To not get lost, I carefully followed the path while I let the thoughts swirl in my head. They didn't really make any sense, and I groaned in frustration.

I started to walk with firmer steps, when I suddenly noticed a fallen tree that I could sit on. It wasn't far from the path, only about three feet, and I saw that it wasn't all cowered in moss.

Carefully I sat down on the tree and concentrated on every thought in my head – without any form of control over what I was thinking. The two most important questions immediately popped into my head, and I decided that it would be best to concentrate on the first.

I had discovered that Edward as a vampire. And still there was a part of me that didn't believe it. Vampires didn't exist.

But what if they do? I gave again. What if the world is full of them, but we just haven't noticed them yet?

I couldn't help myself but to loudly snort. It was completely ridiculous to think about. The rational me – the one influenced by my scientific father – told me that I was on the wrong track. He couldn't be a vampire – his family couldn't be vampires. It was impossible.

How else do you explain that you're alive now? My mind asked me. How will you explain that you're not a human squishy right now?

I shortly sighed, but then summed up what I had discovered: the incredible speed and strength, the changing eye color from golden to dark and back again, the inhuman beauty, the cold, pale skin, the way they all were able to move incredibly graceful.

Other small bits and pieces that I hadn't really given much thought, suddenly seemed to appear in my mind: that they supposedly never ate, the way they dressed – something I hadn't even noticed until now – they were extremely well-dressed, always in something that seemed to be the newest fashion – but what did I know. And then there was the way he sometimes spoke. It wasn't something that belonged in a High School class in the twenty-first century – but more from a turn-of-the-century novel. Almost Jane Austen-like, but still a little younger.

He had ditched Biology the day of the blood-typing, he hadn't said no to my invitation before he knew where we were going, he seemed to know what everyone around him was thinking...

Wait, he knew what people around him were thinking?

Well, he had mentioned that he generally found people easy to read.

"Except for me, of course."

"Yes. Except for you,"he had said."With exceptions."

With exceptions... what did that mean? If it was so easy for him to read other people, what was it about me that made it so difficult?

Then there was that he had warned me to stay away from him. He had said that he was dangerous, a villain...

Could he really be a vampire? Could all of his family be vampires?

Both his sister Alice and his brother Jasper had looked curiously at me, as if there was something about me. I couldn't see what that was – actually I couldn't understand why Edward suddenly started talking to me at all. No one in his family, including himself, had ever talked to anyone before.

What was so special about me?

I halfheartedly laughed and shook my head, before I continued with my train of thoughts. Could they really be vampires?

They were something. Something inhuman – something not rational that happened in my tiny world. Something I had longed to be true, since I had found out that I liked vampire stories.

That had to be my conclusion – for now. Edward wasn't human; he was something more. Vampire or superhero. Or Jacob's 'cold ones'. There was something about him.

My heart began to beat faster as I moved on to the next question: What if Edward was a... vampire? Should I ignore him? Or should I try to find out more about him? Or... – I swallowed – should I break my promise and find out what I really felt for him?

The answer wasn't an easy one. I didn't know if I had the strength to ignore him anymore. I didn't know if it would hurt more to ignore him, or find out that he didn't like me – both equally hurt.

But should I try to find out more about him? If there even was more to be discovered. All of the Cullens were perfect in school, not one failed test, not one wrong answer to a question. It was almost like they had already gone through it all before.

It reminded me of what Jacob had told me about them already living at the time of his great-grandfather. Could Edward really have lived back then? If so, how old was he really?

I pushed the thought away and moved on with my thoughts.

I felt how my mood turned to the worse as I got to the next question. Should I break the promise I had given myself and find out what I really felt for Edward?

Spontaneously my answer was no, but the more I thought about it, the more it hurt in my heart. I couldn't grasp how he had bewitched me like that, but I was sure that there had to be more than his pretty looks behind it. I sighed.

But if Edward really was a vampire, what should I then do? Tell somebody was unthinkable – not even to Nicole. Anyone would have me hospitalized, even though I was pretty sure Nicole would never do that to me.

But what was I supposed to do then?

I didn't know how strong I would be to ignore him – but I had already gone through that, without really coming to a conclusion.

But should I cancel our plans? Should I follow his advice? Stay away from him? If he was a... vampire?

It hurt to think about it, no matter what he was. He had almost captured my heart, but he had told me it was better if I stayed away from him.

I sighed and breathed heavily through my nose and afterwards through my mouth, before deciding anything. I needed every brain cell of mine to decide this.

My brain hesitated a second, while my heart started arguing about what I would miss if I didn't listen to what it told me.

But in the end, my brain won anyway.

I would continue as planned, and ignore him from the next day. Even though he had said that he was evil he hadn't done anything yet... but I needed the distance. And I needed to keep my promise. If I didn't, I would probably end up getting a depression. He didn't like me that way.

I closed my eyes and sighed.

"It would be better if we weren't friends,"he had once said.

My eyes opened in horror. I suddenly new why he wanted me to ignore him. He knew how absorbed I was by him, more than I should be, and he didn't like me that way. Exactly like I had feared.

I had to ignore him, starting Monday – there was no way around it.

I quickly got up from the tree and started walking towards the house. It stared drizzling, and I wondered if it had started raining again, or if it was leftovers from the rain the day before.

While walking, I suddenly got scared that I was walking in circles, but then noticed a clearing ahead of me. It was a bit lighter there than in the forest, where the leaves of the trees hid the light in a kind of twilight.

When I got inside it wasn't quiet as when I had left. I noticed that I had just made it home for lunch – perfect timing.

"How was your walk, Michelle?" Judith asked me as she walked into the living room. I saw that she was laying the table.

"Helpful," I answered. And it had been – in its own way.

"That's great," she smiled. "Are you hungry?"

I actually hadn't noticed how hungry I was before she asked. My stomach started rumbling. That's what you get from skipping breakfast.

"A little," I truthfully answered her. "But I think I'm going to change first." Judith nodded understanding.

When I reached my room, I quickly changed to jeans and a black dress. I still felt a little... sad.

Nicole came out of her room, as I came out of mine. We looked a bit at each other and I noticed that she had dark circles under her eyes.

"Nicole I'm really sorry about tonight––"

"Don't think about it," she interrupted. "That's not what has kept me up."

I looked astonished at her. Had thoughts of Jacob kept her awake since my scream woke her up?

She sighed before answering my unspoken question, "It's the thought about the fact that I haven't helped you. I promised to help you not to fall for anyone – remember?"

I bit my lower lip. Actually I wasn't sure that her help would have prevented anything. "You don't need to lay sleepless over that," I told her. "I've solved the problem." I quietly sighed.

She looked amazed at me. "You have?"

"Yup." I had to put a lot of effort into my smile, to make it seem as real as possible. I didn't want to smile, instead I wanted to run into my room and cry – cry until I couldn't cry anymore.

"That's great!" she exclaimed and hugged me. As long as Nicole wasn't concerned, I would feel much better. "By the way, I've printed the pictures I took of you yesterday," she added, smiling and showed me three pictures: one where I looked slightly surprised, another one where I was lightly blushing and a third where my hand was moving to my head.

"You know I'm not very photogenic," I embarrassingly told her.

"Says who?" she gave again. "These are for you; I've saved them on my computer anyway."

I sighed but put them on my desk, before we went down into the living room to eat lunch. I had a hard time faking a smile as we greeted Erik and Judith.

"Lunch's ready girls," Erik told us as we came in. I noticed that he shortly winked at Nicole before we all sat down to eat.

They were probably planning something for my birthday in less than one week. Sigh.

"So, what are your plans for today?" Judith curiously asked while she made herself a jam sandwich. I immediately grabbed the chocolate and started making myself a chocolate covered slice of rye bread.

Nicole was the first one to answer, "I think I'll begin with the Macbeth-essay, or I'll never get it done."

"I think I'm going to do that as well," I answered while I strained myself to smile.

"That's great girls. How well educated you're going to be," Erik as having troubles with the coffee pot but still had time to throw in a joke. We all laughed at it.

"Um, do any of you know an area called Goat Rocks? I think it's near some place called Mount Rainier," I asked them as nonchalant as possible. If I was going to ignore Edward anyway, I might as well get the last information's about him.

"Yes, why?" Erik asked me.

"I overheard some students talking about camping there," I lied. There was no reason to tell that Edward Cullen was hiking there at the moment – or whatever a supposed vampire did when he was free from school.

"That's a very bad place to camp," Judith said, and Erik continued, "There are too many bears. Most people go there during the hunting season." I noticed that Nicole was looking at me with an unfathomable expression.

"Oh, okay. I could have heard wrong," I shrugged, before I took a bite of my chocolate-covered bread.

Surprisingly I finished the Macbeth-essay before eight that night. Nicole was still working on hers, even though she had helped me with a few sentences and the grammar.

I decided to go early to bed since I hadn't really slept the day before, and had woken up that early. Nicole followed my example.

Even though I fell into a dreamless sleep I felt that I hadn't slept very well, the next day. I expected to find my iPod under my pillow – I had fallen asleep listening to music – but instead I found it on my desk. Had I been sleepwalking?

Carefully I walked to wards my desk and saw that my iPod wasn't the only thing that had been mysteriously moved. One of the three pictures Nicole had given me the day before was missing.

I heard my door open and quickly turned around. Nicole came into my room and asked if I was ready to go downstairs.

I ignored her question, and instead asked, "Nicole, have you been in here while I slept?" my gaze moved to my desk again.

"No, I went to bed the same time as you – and have slept since. Why?"

"You sure?" I asked just for safety reasons. "It's just because my iPod mysteriously found its way to my desk over night." I shortly looked at the pictures. "And one of your pictures is gone too." Why did it have to be the one with me blushing that was missing?

"Are you sure you put all three of them on your desk yesterday?"

"Definitely."

"Hmm..." Nicole was deep in thought as she walked out of the room. I could only sigh.

But instead of pondering things over, I went to my window and pulled the curtains aside. The sky outside was cloudless. I could have jumped up and down of excitement. Outside was cloudless! The sun was shining!

In that occasion I decided to open the window to find out how summer-like I could actually allow to dress myself. I happily stuck my arm out the window, and found that it was warmer than I had anticipated – but not quite warm enough to wear shorts. I decided to wear my blue dress made of denim. It had big buttons in front and a bow to be tied behind the middle of the back – to make the waist clearer. Underneath the dress I would be wearing a white shirt and white tights.

I wasn't going to do anything with my hair that day; it looked like it should – for once in my life.

And for the first time since I came to Forks, I decided to wear a piece of jewelry. It was a gold necklace with a golden heart and cross. The heart was from my baptism, and the cross my grandfather had given me for my confirmation. The only thing I was missing now was the anchor for faith.

I almost laughed out loud because of that. Then I quickly packet the last things into my bag, went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and went downstairs, where Nicole and both her parents were waiting.

"You seem happy today," Erik stated.

"Yep," I agreed. "The weather's great."

"Yeah, you bet it is!" Nicole answered. She was dressed in light-blue jeans with a pink top. Her hair was pulled into pigtails – something she only did when she was really happy.

"Just your kind of weather, right?" Judith asked, and both Nicole and I agreed.

We quickly ate breakfast, got our bags – I grabbed my raincoat out of safety reasons – even though I was pretty sure that the cloudless sky probably wasn't going to get cloudy just like that. But I could use the coat to sit on if the benches were still wet.

Actually Nicole and I were one of the first to reach school. In our happiness about the weather we had forgotten to look at the time. We sat down on the rarely used benches by the southern side of the cafeteria. The benches were still a little moist, and I was happy that my raincoat could be used for at least something.

Nicole sat down on the opposite of me, on a piece that wasn't moist. We sat there and talked about the trip Saturday, when I suddenly remembered that I wanted to check on some homework from Trig. Nicole quickly helped me understanding what I had made wrong in some places. Thank God she was the math-genius of the two of us!

"Michelle!" I heard someone call. It sounded like Mike. I looked up from my homework and noticed that the school was getting crowded. Most people were dressed in shorts and T-shirts, but that didn't affect me. Nothing was going to ruin my good day.

I saw Mike come towards me in khaki shorts and a Rugby shirt. To think that there were sports geeks over here too. I stifled a snicker.

"Hey Mike," I called back and waved.

As he came to sit beside me I couldn't help but to notice that Nicole coughed a little before she said, "Hey Mike," in a sour tone. What was with her all of a sudden?

Mike surprised turned around. "Oh, right. Hi Nicole," then he turned to face me again. "Great day right?"

"My kind of day," I agreed.

"I'm going to class now," Nicole told us, but mostly Mike, in an insulted voice that said: "Noo! Don't take any notice of me!" I almost sighed.

"All right," Mike answered, clearly unaffected by her tone. Then she disappeared around the corner.

A light breeze played with my hair in that moment, and Mike leaned towards me to catch a strand between his fingers. "Your hair is almost golden. I never noticed before," he exclaimed and caught the strand.

"I know. You should be searching for the rare red glimpses, though. They're only shown in the sun. The proof that I'm actually a brunette." I didn't know how sarcastic I sounded.

"You're right. I see some red glimpses here and there." It made me feel just a bit uncomfortable as he tucked the strand behind my ear.

Suddenly there sounded a low crack to my right, and I turned to see what it was. But there was nothing but forest. Was I hearing things?

I shook my head and looked a Mike again.

"What were you doing yesterday?" he asked, his tone was just a bit too proprietary. I could have sighed.

"I mostly worked on my essay with Nicole," no need to tell him that I was already done – I didn't want to sound smug.

He hit his forehead with the heel of his hand, "Oh, yeah – it's due Thursday right?"

"I think it was Wednesday."

"Wednesday?" he frowned. "That's not good... what are you writing yours on?"

"Whether Shakespeare was a chauvinist, and his treatment of female characters is misogynistic." I might as well have spoken pig latin, because Mike looked at me like he hadn't understood a single word.

"Well, I'm probably going to work on it tonight," he sounded deflated, "I was going to ask if you wanted to go out..."

"Oh." I hadn't seen that coming. Why couldn't Mike see that I didn't like him like that?

"Um, we could go out and eat or something... and I could work on it later," he smiled a hopeful smile.

"Mike..." I started, but again I heard a high crack from the woods to my right and turned my head in surprise. What was wrong with that forest today?

I shook my head again before I turned to look at Mike once more. He still looked hopefully at me. "I don't think that would be the best idea." Not to say that it would break the promise I made to my heart.

His face fell and he looked disappointed. "Why not?" he asked, his eyes guarded. My thoughts flickered to Edward, and I wondered if Mike's did the same.

Because you're only my friend, I don't like you that way. And because it would break the promise I made, I answered in my thoughts, but didn't say it out loud.

"I think... and if you ever repeat this to anybody I'll cheerfully beat you to death," I hoped that he sensed that I meant the threat, literally, "but I think that would hurt Jessica's feelings." Not to say what she would do to me if I told him yes – which I would never do. Boys were out of my life. End of discussion! And I had to make Mike look in the right direction.

Mike looked somewhat confused and bewildered, as his thoughts probably hadn't been looking in that direction at all. "Jessica?"

"Mike... honestly, are you blind?"

"Oh," he breathed, clearly dazed over this new information. I quickly looked at my wristwatch and decided that it was time for my escape.

"I have to go now – I can't be late for class again." I collected my books, put them into my bag and walked towards English, with a silent Mike walking beside me. I hoped that this new information would guide him in the right direction – towards Jessica.

When I saw her in Trig she was almost bursting with excitement. She, Angela and Lauren were going to Port Angeles to buy clothes for the party, and she wanted me to come too, even though I didn't need anything.

I quickly asked if Nicole could come too, and Jessica said with an obvious voice that she absolutely had to come. So I said yes, but I wasn't too happy with the thought of being with Lauren. The girl had something against me, I just didn't know what.

When Jessica followed me to German, she talked of nothing but the party, which was really tiring to hear, since she – for the fifteenth time – was explaining how she had imagined her dress. Luckily I could escape into the German classroom right after.

German ended five minutes too late, so I rushed to the cafeteria. My body was in an excited state – it was almost going rigid. I was going to compare the Cullens with my new theory. And maybe make Edward shy away because I was wearing a cross.

After that I would begin to ignore him. I had to be strong enough. It would better for me. Much much better.

When I finally reached the cafeteria, it was almost filled. I quickly bought a bowl of salad and suddenly got more excited – would Edward be sitting in there waiting for me?

As a reflex, I threw a glance at the Cullen table but it was empty. I looked frantically around in the cafeteria – hoping to find him sitting alone and waiting for me.

But he was nowhere to be seen. It was like the Cullens had never existed.

Since I arrived late, all the others already sat at the table. I briefly noticed that Jessica looked all blissful, probably because she sat next to Mike. I sat next to Angela and Nicole – who raised her eyebrow as she looked from me to Mike, and back again.

My appetite had vanished, so I didn't really touch my salad. I had a short conversation with Angela, she briefly asked me about the Macbeth essay and I answered her as naturally as I could. After a while she too invited me to Port Angeles, and even included Nicole in the invitation. We both accepted. Lauren-problem-child seemed very unimportant in that moment. I mostly wanted to get my mind distracted.

After lunch I felt how I clung on to the last bit of hope, but was again disappointed as I entered Biology and saw his empty seat. My mood turned to the worse. But maybe it was for the best. Then it would be easier to ignore him when he came back.

The rest of the day went slowly – in Gym we listened to a lecture about the rules of Badminton – the only sport I couldn't practice. I just couldn't hit the shuttlecock when I was serving. Sigh.

Luckily the teacher didn't finish so we were going to hear the rest Tuesday, before we had to play Wednesday.

When school was finally over, I was happy that I could go home and sulk in my room. But Nicole and I had barely entered the house, before the phone rang. Mike had just invited Jessica out for dinner, so the Port Angeles trip was rescheduled to the next day.

Yippee, I could have rolled my eyes.

Now there wasn't anything to do that could distract my thoughts, and when Nicole was invited over by one from her Algebra-team because they were doing a project together, I suddenly found myself alone – for the first time since I came to Forks.

I decided that it would probably be a good idea to soak up as much vitamin D as I possibly could, so I grabbed my iPod, a very worn out copy of "The Diary of Anne Frank" and went out in the backyard.

The grass was still wet, so I sat in one of the few chairs that weren't wet anymore. With a little violence, I pulled the chair out in the sun and one of the small tables too, which also stood outside. Then I sat down, leaned the chair back and opened the book where I had last stopped reading: Friday the 28th April 1944.

But not long after I had begun reading, I remembered that this was the chapter where Anne and Peter kissed. Angrily I shut the book. Why could the world – and books for that matter – not do as I wanted them to? This wasn't helping my feelings at all!

I groaned and put the book on the little table. Then I took my iPod and hit 'shuffle'. Finally I could relax and only think about how the sun gently touched my skin...

But not long after, I was disturbed again. A song that reminded me too much of Edward, – "Claire de Lune" – was playing, and I hit the off-button a little harder than intended. Why was everything in the world against me that day? Here I was, trying to forget about him and then everything I did reminded me of him!

Ugh!

I leaned the chair back even more and decided to only focus on my story about the half-vampire girl. Not long after I couldn't think anymore, but instead felt how the sun warmed my face, gently touched my legs, my arms, my fingers...

The next thing I heard was a car in the driveway. I woke with a start and looked around myself in astonishment. The sun was long gone behind the clouds, and it had turned cold. Nevertheless, it felt like I wasn't alone. I shortly looked at the darkest spot of the woods in front of me, but shook my head.

It's just something you're imagining. Who would shadow you? I asked myself. No, I was probably just imagining things.

I hurried into the house with my things, and saw Nicole come in through the front door.

"What have you been doing?" she asked me, probably because of my rolled-up sleeves.

"I tried to soak in a little vitamin D to make my dad happy, but I fell asleep." The last I couldn't help but to be embarrassed about. Never in my life had I ever fallen asleep in the sun. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that the sun wasn't shining as strongly over here.

"Oh, okay."

"I'm going upstairs. Trying to make some homework and such," I quickly said and Nicole just nodded at me. Then I went up the stairs and into my room.

The sun was shining again the next day.

I purposely planned to reach Biology in the last minute, but again he wasn't there. I felt how I turned slightly depressed but I knew that this was only the tip of the iceberg. Yet I hoped that it would soon be over – that the iceberg would melt and disappear. That I could go back to normal.

In Gym Nicole told me – to my great joy – that Lauren wasn't coming with us to Port Angeles after all. And after school Jessica followed Nicole and me to Nicole's, where we changed our school bags to purses.

Nicole's parents were working late that night, so we would have the house to ourselves when we came home again. How fortunate.

Before we walked out the door and into Jessica's Mercury, I looked at myself one last time in the mirror.

Michelle, keep your promise. Forget Edward Cullen. He's not worth it.

I couldn't have been more wrong...