Warning: This is probably the most potentially offensive chapter in this entire story. Contains rather unflattering depictions of the extreme religious right, Birthers, and people who do not think for themselves and blindly follow whatever charismatic person is speaking at the moment. Also, please read the comments at the end for some important clairifications.
Chapter Thirteen: The Mad Tea Party, part 2
Alfred had a great time talking to Joel. The man seemed to have some very interesting ideas about what could help the American economy, and he was more than willing to share those ideas. Not to mention that he was just a pleasant person to talk to. He was funny, and was a great conversationalist.
But Alfred wanted to see the other sides of the movement, so after a while, he thanked the man and went on with his exploration of the crowds on the Mall. He didn't have to look very far before he found a loudmouthed person who he was pretty sure would be more than willing to explain their viewpoints.
"It's time we impeached the anti-Christian socialist that's occupying the White House!" a loud woman in a faded pink tracksuit was yelling at a small group of people who had gathered to listen to her. "If we do nothing, he will continue to chip away at the Judeo-Christian moral structure of our society! If this demonically inspired health-care bill passes, we'll have abortion on demand up into the fourth trimester! The elderly will be put to death for no other crime than being elderly!" The people listening to her all made noises of disgust. "Are we going to allow this to happen?"
"NO!" the group roared.
"If things continue at this rate and the health-care bill passes, our Dear Leader will use our rise in tax dollars to make it illegal for anyone to attend a true church! Bible-believing Christians will be this century's targets and scapegoats! Our evil government will not stop until it has implemented Sharia law! Tell me, ladies, do you want to wear the burqa?"
"NO!"
"Damn right you don't! Do you want to be humiliated and subjugated because of our president's views? No, of course you don't! You're going to ask me, what can we do? Well, I'll tell you one thing: our 'president-'" here, she said the term in a voice positively dripping with sarcasm- "won't show his real birth certificate! And I ask you- why do you think that is?"
"WE DON'T KNOW!" the group shouted in unison.
"I'll tell you why! It's because Dear Leader isn't a United States citizen and therefore is ineligible to lead this once great country! He has blinded most of the populace into believing his lies! Well, I'll tell you this: we can expose our lying Manchurian Candidate for who he really is or my name isn't Isabel Dayton!" With a deafening roar, the listeners cheered for a while, before eventually moving on. Once the area was relatively clear. The woman packed up some of her signs and then called out, "You! Blondie! Get over here!" Alfred tentatively approached.
"Yes?" he asked.
"I saw you watching me," the woman said. "So who sent you? The FBI? Secret Service? CIA? Obama's Black Ops team?"
"What-?" Alfred asked, really not comprehending.
"Don't play dumb," the tracksuited woman snapped. "I saw you watching me give my speech! You had this disgusted look on your scrawny little face. That's how I know you're a Democrat plant! You fucking liberal bastard, you're here to terrorize real Americans!"
"Lady, please," Alfred retorted, getting angry now. "I'm no spy, and if I was, do you really think I would be so obvious about it? I was just interested in your speech."
"In that case," Isabel replied, "why didn't you say so? So what do you want to know?" Alfred decided to start with an easy question.
"What makes you think that women will have to wear burqas if the health-care reform bill passes? I don't see how they connect, and if I know the American people, and I'm pretty sure that I do, they would never stand for something like that." Isabel laughed bitterly.
"You'd think so, wouldn't you? But if our illegal president has his way, American values will be destroyed! We're going to turn into Ameristan!"
"Don't you think you're taking this too far?" Alfred asked. "The Supreme Court already looked into the whole eligibility thing, and President Obama is a natural-born citizen. He is eligible to be president." This was the wrong thing to say.
"DON'T SAY THAT NAME!" Isabel screeched, hopping about like a rabbit on speed. "Don't say the name of that person's name! You defile the air of this proud nation's capital city!"
"OK, OK, sorry," Alfred sai, backing up slowly. Good god, he hadn't run into an activist that bonkers since that anti-Vietnam War protester had hit him with his protest sign back in the 1960s. But the backing-up wasn't acceptable by the woman's standards. No, she wanted to make sure that she got the last word in.
"Why are you backing up?"she demanded to know, getting right up in Alfred's face. "Can you not handle the truth when it's staring you in the face? Do you not like having your liberal agenda revealed right in front of your eyes? Well, I'll tell you something, mister- you'd better get used to it because we're not going to let scum like you ruin our once proud country by destroying our morals and closing down our churches! We won't let you get away with this!"
"Yeah, OK," Alfred said by way of response. Seriously, what are you supposed to say to something like that, anyway? Regarding the crazy ones, there wasn't a whole lot that you could say to change their minds. "Whatever, lady. Good luck with your whole mission thing." The woman smiled. It was rather creepy.
"Thank you, I guess, even though it doesn't mean very much coming from a lying liberal like yourself," she said, her voice full of false cheeriness.
Alfred meandered around the national mall for a while longer, taking in the sights and sounds. He felt caught between an insane urge to laugh like a maniac and break down into despair, much like he had felt when he had seen the town-hall meeting brawl. What would have in the past consisted of civilized, proper debate was now replaced by paranoid conspiracy theories and thinly veiled racist rhetoric. There were several things about this whole situation that unsettled him.
Sure, plenty of the attendees were like Joel Snapp- simply regular, concerned folks who weren't sure if the country was going in the right direction and were worried about their jobs. But many others were like Isabel Dayton- loud, screeching paranoiacs who preached a diluted call to violence. If enough of those types found willing receptors for their messages of rage, Alfred worried that the results could have repercussions that no one intended.
After all, it had been rhetoric of this sort that had led up to every major crisis in American history, most notably (and disturbingly for this time), the Civil War.
To Be Continued
Really Long Author's Comments:
This chapter was extremely difficult to write. I wanted to get into some of the crazy "OBAMA IS THE ANTICHRIST!1!1!ELEVENTY!1" that seems to permeate some of the discussion, but I also didn't want to turn this into a rant against the hyper-conservative religious right, because I know that would end badly. And I know I failed epically here, but I also wanted to show the complete lunacy of some of those types. If you think I'm making this up, I can give you some links to completely insane people who truly believe that Obama wants to destroy the moral foundation and put all Christians in internment camps so that he can set up Sharia law. I'm not putting the links up here because they are NSFW (and really not safe for your sanity. Even if you don't like Obama some of them might drive you to despair, or rage, or despair-rage), but if you're really curious, ask in a review and I'll send them to you in a reply.
This part is second because I really wanted to show the saner side of the tea party first. Like I said in the last chapter, Joel is supposed to be representative of the kind of people who are worried about their jobs, and are afraid that higher taxes might hurt their livelihoods. Isabel is the other, darker side of the movement, who is convinced that the president wants to take away their religious freedoms, screw them over in every way possible, and legalize infanticide (I have actually heard some people saying that). So... yeah. Not much else to say on that subject, other than that this is in no way an attack on the tea party movement as a whole. If you're going to take it as an attack on something, take it as an attack on fear-mongering, paranoid, ignorant people whose only mission is scare the shit out of people and drive them to action.
Also, this has nothing to do with the chapter, but it's important all the same. The best way for me to describe the rest of this summer is extremely busy. I was ill for two weeks, which really screwed up my schedule, and I will be traveling a lot during the rest of this summer, culminating with a move in mid-August. I am going to do my best to update at least once more in July, but once August hits, I'm going to have very sporadic Internet access until I'm completely settled. I will do my best to update whenever possible, but don't be surprised if there are no updates for the month of August, since I may or may not have Internet access for 95% of that month. However, I will work on drafting things so as soon as I have reliable access again I can make up for lost time. :)
-Kaboom