I don't anything…all credit goes to ABC/Shondaland.

AN: I have no medical background/history so all mistakes are my own. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter Thirteen

Callie's POV

We've been back from California for a little over a week now and I've been working nonstop. Any free time has been spent at home or sleeping. Arizona goes back to work soon and with the kids starting classes in a few days we've been slowly transitioning from summer to fall, and the cooler Seattle weather has certainly helped with the transition. Today is another long day at the hospital and I've been sneaking in some quiet time between surgeries in my office.

I can't help but smile when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and notice Arizona is calling. Hearing her voice is always a good pick me up. "Hey babe, what's up?"

"Calliope! I didn't think I'd get you. I was expecting voicemail. This is a pleasant surprise. I thought you were jammed packed today?"

"I was – well I am, I just have some time in between surgeries so I'm crashing on the couch for a little bit."

"Oh that's nice. Well I was just calling to let you know that Teddy called and invited us to see Henry play tonight. I told her I thought you'd be working late, but that Noah and I would love to go.

"Oh that should be fun. You guys should have a good time. Tell Teddy I'm sorry I couldn't make it."

"I will. I'm sure she understands. I told her that Sof still had a day left with Mark, so she invited them too. I texted Mark and he was okay with it, especially since he loves baseball. Plus I think Noah misses Sofia a little, so it'd be nice for them to see each other."

"Yeah, that would be good. Snap of picture of Sofia and Noah in their jerseys. They look so adorable in them."

"Of course I will. Once I told Noah about the game he said he was going to eat all the hotdogs he could." She laughs and I'm already picturing Noah stuffing his face with food and most likely getting ketchup on himself.

"Ha. That sounds like him."

"Yeah, so are you feeling any better after this morning?" I woke up with some cramps this morning that I haven't felt before. I'm sure it's just a symptom of the pregnancy, but they definitely slowed me down this morning, but luckily after a few hours they went away.

"Yeah, after my first surgery they went away. It was probably just the little one messing around or something. If they get any worse or something I might stop up in OB and check in with Dr. Caplan."

"Okay, well let me know how that goes. I'm going to try and get Noah down for a nap so he isn't too cranky later."

"Sounds good. Tell him I said hi. I'll check in with you later."

"Okay, love you. Bye."

"Love you too. Bye." As soon as I hang up there's a knock my on office door and in comes Wilson.

"Hey Dr. Torres, I was just – oh if you're sleeping I can come back another time." She says noticing my laid out position on the couch. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

"No, no. It's alright," I wave her in the room and she passes me a tablet. "Good, good. Everything is looking good for Mr. Hensley. You can tell him we'll discharge him tomorrow."

"Great. I was wondering if I could scrub in on your surgery later?"

"Yeah, that's fine. It's not for another hour, so grab something to eat because we're going to be in the OR for a few hours. We have back to back surgeries again."

"Sweet!" She says excitedly exiting my office. I catch a few more extra minutes of quiet time before it's time to head down to the OR and scrub in. The first surgery ran smoothly and Wilson and I had an assist from Bailey. The second surgery had a few more complications, but we were able to get through it as best we could and the patient should make a full recovery.

"Hey Torres!" Kepner greets me with a burst of energy as she steps onto the elevator.

"April, hey." I respond a little dejected.

"Sorry, did I catch you at a bad time?"

"Nah, just had a long day. Plus I remembered I have a bunch of paper work to do before I can head out."

"Oh, well that sucks. Hey, I heard about your grandfather. I'm so sorry for your loss." She says sincerely.

"Thanks. The service was nice."

"That's good. Well let me know if you need anything." She steps off the elevator and gives me a quick wave bye. Before hunkering down in my office for a few more hours, I decide to make a quick use of the restroom. I felt totally fine during the surgery, but to my surprise I notice a few spots of blood in my underwear. I know spotting isn't entirely unusual during a pregnancy, but it's my first time experiencing it and I'd by lying if I said it didn't alarm me. I finish taking care of my business and decide to head up to OB and see if Dr. Caplan is in. Maybe he can ease my concern.

Arriving in the waiting room I notice other women in different stages of their pregnancy sitting around. "Dr. Torres, how can I help you?" The nurse welcomes me with a warm smile.

"Hey, I was just wondering if Dr. Caplan was in? I just have a quick question. I can wait though. I see there are other people waiting too."

"Actually, those people are waiting to see other doctors. Dr. Caplan actually left for the day. He had another engagement. Should I schedule you in early tomorrow morning? I think we have you on the schedule for next week for another check up if you would prefer to wait then."

"Uhh," I take a few seconds to weigh my options, but I'd feel better stopping in tomorrow morning just to calm my nerves. "Tomorrow morning would be great."

"Great. I'll pencil you in for eight? That work for you?"

"Eight, sure. I'll be here. Thanks."

"Not a problem. Have a great day!" She gives me a note as a reminder and I'm back down to my office to get some work done. It's definitely not my favorite part of the job, but being department head does require more administrative work. It's close to ten in the evening before I step back into my home. The first floor is dark with all the lights off so I just grab a bottle of water from the fridge and head upstairs. I take a peak into Noah's room, but to my surprise he isn't in his bed. I'm sure the baseball game is over by now and Arizona's car is parked in the driveway. Maybe he's in bed with Arizona.

"Hey you. Late night, huh?" Arizona asks as I enter the room where she's already in bed and watching something on television.

"Yeah. I would've texted, but I just got lost in paperwork and figured you guys were having a good time at the game."

"It's okay, no worries. Yeah, we had a great time. We won and Henry had a homerun."

"That's good. I think they are doing pretty good this year. Hopefully they make the playoffs." I take a seat on the edge of the bed and kick off my shoes.

"I know Teddy and I were talking about that. Did you know players get paid more for each playoff game they play? Crazy, right?"

"Yeah, that seems a little excessive. Hey Noah isn't in his bed. Where is he?"

"Oh, he spent the night with Sofia at Mark's. Like we figured they were missing each other so Mark insisted that they could have a little sleepover. He promised to bring him back tomorrow when he drops Sofia off."

"Ohh okay. Well that's nice. I wish I didn't have to work so late. I would've come home earlier so we could have a meal that didn't consist of chicken fingers or spaghetti." I laugh as I get up and change into some more comfortable nightclothes.

"I know what you mean. I swear they only eat the same five or six meals." Every time we try to introduce the kids to new and different meals they hate it and refuse to try anything. One time I tried to get Sof to try some salmon and she made it seem like it was the end of the world. "If you're hungry I can fix you something."

"Nah, it's okay. I'm not that hungry anymore." Moving into the bathroom, I begin my nightly routine of washing my face and brushing my teeth.

"So I spoke to my mom today." My wife calls out.

"Oh yeah? How is she doing?"

"Good. She was just checking in since it's been a few days since the funeral."

"That's nice of her."

"Yeah. She's already planning for Christmas in Hawaii."

"A little early isn't it?"

"That's what I said, but you know my mom. She's always a few steps ahead of everyone else.

"Sounds like her. Did you tell her about the baby?"

"No, I thought we were going to wait a few more weeks. We have another check up next week, right?"

"Yeah, I just thought you might have told her." Returning to the bedroom. I slide in under the sheets and turn to face Arizona.

"Nope. My lips are sealed until we're ready." She says drawing a line along her lips and throwing away an invisible key.

"Speaking of appointments. I noticed some spotting earlier when I went to the bathroom." This gets her attention and I notice her face takes a more serious demeanor.

"Are you okay? Was it a lot?"

"No, well I don't think so. It didn't look that much different from what you had. I went to see if Dr. Caplan was in, you know just for a quick consult, but he wasn't so I made an appointment for tomorrow morning."

"Okay, well Mark isn't going to be back with the kids until the afternoon so I can come with you."

"I'd like that." I lean in for a small kiss, but she grabs my face and holds me for just a few seconds longer.

"You know what I was thinking?"

"Hmm?"

"With three kids we're going to have to get you a new car." She says with a little smirk on her face.

"Wait, wait, why? I like my car. It's fine." I quickly reply defensively.

"It's a great car, babe but three car seats can't fit comfortably in the back."

"Well that's why we have your car. It has way more space."

"Yeah my car does, but not yours. Do I have to remind you that I got rid of my car before Noah arrived."

"Yeah, but that was because your car was small and old. No offense. Plus, I recall a phone call with your mom saying her grandkids had to ride in style."

"My car wasn't small and old it was…it was quaint and just a little worn down." Even she knows it's a weak argument, but I give her credit. "Besides you weren't complaining when I was driving you around in it when we going on dates and stuff."

"Of course I didn't mind. I wasn't with you for your car."

"Regardless, we got off topic a little. You're going to need a bigger car."

"Why can't we just use your car if we take a big family trip or something?"

"Because I don't feel like shuffling car seats back and forth. Or what if something comes up and my car isn't available. Shit happens, babe. We can't predict everything."

"Fine." I fake pout. "This conversation is on a temporary hold."

"Whatever you say, but we are getting another car before the baby arrives." She states affirmatively.

"Well can we at least keep it for Sof to practice on?"

"Callie that seems impractical. That's not for at least ten years. Besides, I'm sure Mark or your dad will buy her a nice, shiny new car once she passes her test."

"Fair point. That seems like exactly something Mark or my dad would do." We chat and joke lightly for a few more minutes until I feel myself falling asleep.

I wake up to a piercing headache. It's probably the worst headache I've ever experienced and I have no clue where it's coming from. I look at my phone to check the time and it's just a little after three in the morning. I sit up against the headboard and try to shake it off. I'm hesitant to take any medication for it because of the pregnancy. After a few minutes of waiting it out I notice my cramps from earlier are coming back. I don't know what this is, but it definitely isn't a good feeling. I decide to get up and head into the bathroom. I start pacing back and forth and hope that calms me down and gets rid of the cramps and headache. It wasn't until I looked up from my feet pacing the floor to see my reflection in the mirror. On the back pants I see blood. Way more blood than earlier.

Fuck.

About a million different scenarios are running through my mind right now and I freeze up. I stop moving and just stare at myself in the mirror. I'm almost afraid to move.

"Hey Callie, are you okay?" I hear my wife asks in a groggy voice from other side of the door. "I uh, I noticed you weren't in bed I saw…I saw some blood." I hear her voice shaking with nervousness and I think we're both thinking the same thing. "It looked like a lot, Callie."

I can't move. I can't speak. I'm afraid to do anything. I continue to stare at myself in the mirror and hear the door open followed by a loud gasp from my wife.

"Callie." She almost whispers. Again, I can't do anything. I think I know what's happening, but I don't want to believe it. It's not happening to me. I'm healthy. I'm fine. I'm perfect. This isn't happening. This can't be happening. I've done everything right.

"Callie!" She yells, which gets my attention. "Callie, please say something! Baby, you're bleeding." I hear her voice crack and it's taking all the strength I have not to cry because if I cry I won't be able to stop.

"I need to go to the hospital." I mutter.

"Okay, let's go." She says in a hurried and worried tone. "I'll drive you. Let's just go." She's trying to pull me along, but I physically can't move. "Callie, I need you move. You're scaring me like this." She's on the verge of tears and is moving frantically all around me. "Let's get in to the car and go!"

"Arizona, I can't. I need you to call the ambulance."

"No, I can drive you. Come on." Something in my snaps and I break out of my daze and turn to look straight into her eyes.

"Arizona, I need you to call an ambulance. We won't make it if you drive me."

"Don't say that!" She yells at me and I know she's scared. I know she knows what's going on. She's not dumb. We've read enough pregnancy books to know what this is. This is different from what she experienced with Noah. "I can drive you!"

"Arizona! Listen to me! I need you to call 911 right now and get an ambulance." The last sounds I hear are Arizona on the phone before my mind goes blank. Everything just happened so quickly. The paramedics showed up and drove us to Seattle Grace. I don't register everything that's going on, but I hear Kepner's voice along side me on the stretcher as I'm being wheeled into the emergency room. I hear the paramedics rattle off my stats. I just stare up at the ceiling and florescent lights as doctors work all around me.

"She's about nine weeks pregnant."

"She's pregnant?!" Kepner asks in shock.

"Is the baby okay?" I hear my wife's voice off in the distance. "April! The baby! Please!"

"Can someone get OB in here, stat!" April yells. "Callie, can you hear me? You're going to be okay. Follow my movements." I respond to everything she tests me on, but I don't even feel anything anymore. I'm numb inside.

"Where's OB!?"

"I'm here! What do we have?" The voice sounds familiar, but I'm not quite sure who it is. Probably just some doctor I've said hello to in passing.

"Call—" April starts, but is quickly cut off.

"Is this Dr. Torres?!" They ask startled.

"Yes, Dr. Torres. She's nine weeks pregnant and already lost lots of blood. We need you to do an ultrasound."

"I need the room quiet!" I can barely feel the wand on my abdomen as she searches for a heartbeat, but I already know she won't find it. It's gone. I lost the baby.

"I can't-I don't hear anything. There's no heartbeat."

"No, no, no." Arizona's cries shriek through the room. I lock eyes with Kepner and she gives me a sympathetic look and it was all the confirmation I need it.

"Callie, I'm so sorry."

"Move her up to, OB. We'll go from there." The mystery doctor says.

"I want—" My voice is a dry and I can barely speak.

"What is it, Callie? Can you speak up?"

"I want Arizona." I rasp out.

"Of course. She can go up with you. Guys, let's get Dr. Torres up to OB quickly. Arizona, you can go up too." Kepner's face is replaced with my wife's as she comes to stand next to me.

"It's okay. You're okay, Calliope. I'm right here." She says wiping away tears. Her eyes are watery and red and her cheeks are flushed. "We'll get through this." She holds my hand and is right by my side as I'm rolled away. Once I'm settled in my room and alone with Arizona we both shed silent tears. She joins me in my small hospital bed and just holds me as we continue to cry. A few minutes later a knock on the door notifies us of a doctor's presence.

"Mrs. Torres, may I speak with you for a second." Arizona looks to me and I give her a nod to let her know it's okay. She gets up and huddles with the mystery doctor in the corner. I hear my wife continue to sob as she and the doctor talk.

"I—I don't know. You have to ask her. I can't make this decision."

"Of course, Mrs. Torres."

"Callie, baby. Dr. Wentz wants to know what you want to do." Arizona says rejoining me at my side.

"Dr. Torres, I'm Dr. Wentz and I work in OB." The mystery doctor is a mystery no more as I see her face. Dr. Wentz, yeah, I know who she is. Sweet lady. "First let me say how very sorry I am for your loss. I was just talking with your wife about our options going forward. We can—"

"I want a D&C." I know my options. I'm a doctor for goodness sake. Sure, I'm ortho, but I've passed my OB rotation. I don't want to wait at home for my baby to pass. I can't handle that. It'll be too much for me.

"Calliope, maybe we should talk about it."

"Arizona, I want a D&C." I state firmly. "Dr. Wentz, please." I plead.

"Of course. I'll get an OR set up. It's a quick procedure. A nurse will bring you down momentarily." She exits the room and leaves my wife and me alone once again.

"There was a lot of blood." I say breaking the silence.

"I know."

"Arizona, I just can't. I can't take this with me home. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Calliope. Do you understand me? This isn't your fault." I know she's right, but I don't believe it. "We'll get through this."

"Will we?" For the first time I have a shadow of doubt. Will we get through this?

"Yes, we will. I'll make sure of it." We sit and wait until a nurse comes in and moves me. "I'll be right here when you get back. I love you, Calliope."

"You're awake." My wife greets me with a big smile as soon as I open my eyes. "It took some time for the anesthesia to wear off."

"How did it go?"

"Fine. All the bleeding is stopped and you're clear from infections." Her perky attitude is on display as she tries to cheer me up, but nothing can take away the empty feeling I have inside.

"I want to go home."

"We will soon. Dr. Caplan came in and wants to see you real quick. Kepner offered to give us a lift home."

"Arizona, I wanna go home. Now."

"I know you do, babe, but we need to just wait a little longer. I promise I'll get you home."

"What time is it?" I ask looking out the hospital room window.

"A little after six in the morning. Here, drink so water." She offers me a cup and I take some sips. Twenty minutes go and then Dr. Caplan comes in.

"Callie, Arizona. I'm so sorry for you loss." He says compassionately and standing at the foot of my hospital bed. "I've taken over for Dr. Wentz. She's filled me in on everything. I can discharge you very soon. I just want you to go home and get some rest. I've spoken with the Chief and he's given you a week off, but if you need more time that shouldn't be a problem. If you feel any pain or discomfort I want you to let me know and I can prescribe some medication from that. The discharge papers will have more notes for you."

"Why did this happen to me?" I know there isn't an exact answer, but I just need something.

"To be honest, Callie. I don't know. Sometimes these things just happen. I can tell you it was nothing you did. You were healthy and on the right track. These things aren't predictable. It could've been a combination of factors, we'll never really know."

"Okay." Is all I can muster out. It's another hour or so before Arizona and I walk through our front door. The house seems dark and eerie. The last time I was here I was pregnant and now I'm not. Now I have nothing.

"Let's get you upstairs and in bed." I gingerly make my way up the stairs with the assistance of Arizona. I get halfway down the hall before I stop.

"I can't go in there." I point to our bedroom door and shake my head. "I can't go back in there." I say again and this time my voice falters and tears come out again.

"Okay, okay. You don't have to, babe. Let's go into to the guest room." She directs into another room and helps me into bed.

"Lay down with me." I ask and she obliges.

"This was supposed to be their room." I close my eyes and imagine how Arizona and I would've decorated it. She's always been good at that stuff I probably would've let her take the lead.

"I know."

"I had been looking up cribs online." I confess.

"Me too." We both turn to look at each other and she gives me a kiss on my forehead, which opens the floodgates once again for me.

"We lost the baby, Arizona."

"I know we did." She pulls me into her chest and rubs my back soothingly. "I know."

AN: Thanks for reading and thanks to musicforsoul for consistently helping me out. I have a plan (including way more happier times) so just bear with me. I know this was sad (it was sad to write), but it's all part of a longer idea I have for the story.