AARON & JACKSON

-How To Save A Life-

"The Chat"

First off I will NOT tolerate so called 'reviews' when all it contains are malicious remarks, what I will say to you ANON keyboard warrior, is that if you do not like my stories then don't read them it is as SIMPLE as that. I don't write for anyone except myself! In fact don't even look at my stuff in future, you are one sad pathetic individual and you need to get a grip of yourself. I would still write and upload my stuff whether I got views and reviews or not, so I will continue. You have achieved nothing and never will, I'm going to crack on now so I really hope you enjoy this chapter :)

And to my regular readers/reviewers, thank you and I love you all; the support is appreciated so much! x

TWO WEEKS LATER

"I don't know why I hesitated; I was scared I suppose…you know what I'm like. But you and I both know why I haven't been here for a very long time…I'm so ashamed of myself and I'm the only person to blame for it all, nobody else and certainly not you. Life just deals us blows some times and it affected me drastically but I'm getting better now…sort of"

…

"Your mum?" Aaron asked as he swallowed hard. "Are you actually taking the piss or what?"

Jackson chuckled as he walked into the kitchen to see Aaron's jaw on the floor and the blatant scared look in his eyes. "Well yeah, why not? I know all your family Aaron"

"Yeah but…" Aaron sighed. "I'm a recovering junkie Jackson…ha Jackson's junkie…" he grinned, finding what he had just said hilarious but his grin disappeared and his shoulders slumped. "Okay maybe not THAT funny"

"No" Jackson smirked with a frown. "And inaccurate, what you said first time around however was" he grinned. "Recovering is the key word there and you my man are doing brilliantly"

Aaron nodded his head. "Thanks but I don't feel like I'm doing brilliant, the urges are so strong, even now…and rattling around this house isn't doing any good but I have no job either"

"Well you chose to stop helping me Aaron"

"Yeah I know…because I'm useless Jackson, I'm more of a hindrance than a help and that's your job I'm not fucking that up for ya"

"Alright, well fair enough but you could come and keep me company"

"Nah I'm boring"

Jackson chuckled. "God you really are on a downer today aren't ya?"

Aaron hung his head and nodded. "Yep" he said in a sigh. "But it's not just today, I'm miserable and down and boring every single day and I'm getting sick of it now"

"How about you look online for a group thing or something you know like the AA but for recovering addicts"

Aaron scoffed. "Not a chance"

"Why not?"

"I don't want too"

"Alright then go and ask Cain for your job back"

"I've got more chance of hell freezing over than I have him letting me back"

Jackson shook his head with a smile. "There's no talking to you today is there?"

Aaron shrugged and looked sulkily. "I'm sorry"

"No don't be you're alright" Jackson said with a smile as he stepped closer to him and wrapped his arms around Aaron's neck. "I love you; whatever mood you're in…it doesn't seem like a mood as such you're just bored that's all"

Aaron nodded. "I love you too; I'll see you later yeah? I'm gunna go sleep away my afternoon" he told him as he walked away to the stairs.

Jackson sighed. "Ah Aaron"

"No its fine Jackson go back to work babe, I'll be alright"

Jackson sighed and in that moment hated that he had to go back to work, he hated seeing his boyfriend the way he was and there was nothing he could do about it.

…

"…You probably wouldn't believe it but uh…I have a man in my life and I mean a proper one not just some lad that I…you know, he's proper, he's got his head screwed on you know? Mature…most of the time" Aaron chuckled. "He's fit…obviously…but it's not just about that. The way he is, his personality…how he is with me, it all adds up to the reasons why I love him, and I do…it's strange really cause several months ago I didn't care about myself or anyone else for that matter, I got what I wanted and took their money after sex…he's changed me, for the better but he's helping me in his own way I think you'd like him…you'd get on actually he has a sense of humour, he's kind, caring…the things you wanted for me… he's a good man, l-like you were Paddy" Aaron spoke with tears running down his face. He sighed and with a frown he contemplated what he wanted to say next. "At dinner time Jackson suggested I go ask for my job back…I don't how I have the nerve to be honest but I'm going too, I have to start making amends with people…even Cain I suppose and I know what you'd say now if you could, that it wasn't his fault well it's just funny how he supposedly did some work on your car to make it better but then you have an accident that kills you, it was his fault Paddy but there's not a damn thing I can do about it now is there, I wish I could…I wish I could change a lot of things but I can't, t-that's why I'm scared that I won't be able to fix things with people…I've got my work cut out for me haven't I?"

…

Sheepishly Aaron walked up the forecourt of the garage he hadn't seen his uncle since his show in the pub a month or two back. He swallowed hard and stopped to the side of the car Cain was working on. "Cain…" he said quietly. "I know this will never be enough for what I've put you through but I am so sorry" his tone was genuine and totally sincere, something even Cain couldn't miss.

Cain stopped working and looked up at his nephew. "Sorry?"

Aaron nodded quickly. "Yeah…"

"You could have killed yourself Aaron!" he told him angrily but the drive of that anger was the care behind it, he cared about Aaron and it scared him, like it had them all.

"I-I know" Aaron nodded again. "I'm not using anymore though and I'm getting better, slowly, it's not easy but it's what I deserve"

"Damn right, I'm glad you're going through hell, you might just understand just a bit of the hell we were in at witnessing you deteriorate and then for our pleas to fall on deaf ears"

"I know and I'm glad too because I know that if I take the stuff again I have to start all over and I won't let that happen again" he took a breath. "I don't want to push my luck Cain but I'd like it if you forget everything nasty I've ever said to you because it wasn't me talking…" Aaron swallowed hard. "It wasn't" he reiterated as tears filled his eyes, in the past he had to keep up some big man image in front of his uncle but now in that moment he couldn't, he hadn't the energy too. "And I'm sorry" he told him. "I'm recovering and I'm done with it now, I never meant to hurt you, I didn't mean the things I said…so if you can please forget them"

Cain sniffed and glared hard at him. "So which Aaron am I getting now then? Hmm?"

Aaron sighed. "The old one, me Cain, the real me…I've stopped I'm not going back on it, I mean it, I'm being the person I used to be or I'm trying at least, please…"

Cain sighed and nodded. "I understand that you weren't yourself but the things you have said though Aaron, hurt like hell alright…but I can put that down to drugs and I can see you're trying…you're looking better…"

Aaron nodded. "I'm sorry" he told him as tears fell from his eyes. "I don't know how I can ever make it up to you; I've let you down, let you all down"

Cain shook his head and his bravado faltered and he walked to him and hugged him. "It was a mistake but you're fixing it" he told him as he squeezed him. "And if you tell anyone about this hug I'll have to hurt ya"

Aaron chuckled as they parted and he wiped his eyes. "A day at a time right…I'm cautious Aaron, course I am you can understand that?"

"Yeah" Aaron told him.

"Alright well, get out of it then I've got work to do"

…

"So I went…I started building the bridge…it'll take time…I couldn't ask for my job back though Paddy, it just felt wrong, he has to trust me again first which I get…I think the only person who has come back into my life properly has been Adam, I hurt everyone equally as much but with Adam I just feel there's a bit more hurt there for him…I don't know…but when he's around at the house he's very close as if he's scared I won't be here the next day or something, the thought of it upsets me actually, really badly aswell, he left the other night and when I was alone in my head I could just see his smiling face but the worry in his eyes too and it killed me, it did…I broke down in my room…what the hell have I done Paddy? I wish you were here cause you'd be able to make sense of everything for me but then again if you were none of this would have happened" he sighed. "I'm still a bloody mess aren't I? At least I have Jackson" he said with a smile. "He always has the right answers, knows what to say well most of the time anyway, this morning he mentioned his mum, and did I panic? God yeah…she knows everything apparently which I understand him telling her but Jesus…how can I look the woman in the eye? She'll hate me already" he shuddered. "I don't even want to think about it…hopefully Jackson has the sense to wait, I'm not ready to meet the mother yet, not a chance, it's the last thing I need right now" After a few seconds of silence Aaron spoke again.

"So I think I've babbled on enough, I'll go back to him now before he starts to panic, he should be home now anyway…I wish I had come here a lot more and I'm sorry I haven't but I will from now on and I hope you too can forgive me and I'm sorry for letting you down, I never meant too, grief mixed with my stupid decisions caused this and I'm paying for it now but I hope one day you'll look down and I'll have made you proud…I love and miss you Patrick, so, so much you have no idea" Aaron got to his feet and placed his hand on top of the headstone. "Sleep tight dad" he said quietly before walking away.

...

Aaron walked into the house and started talking straight away as he closed the door then as he took off his shoes and jacket and put them away properly "Jackson!" he called out. "I did something…I-I went to the grave, Paddy's…I was there a few hours, aside from a visit to the garage…I spoke with Cain and I think me and him, well…we're going to be okay I think…" he told him excitedly and he turned to walk into the kitchen, he looked down and rubbed down his trackies that had bits of newly cut grass on them from the graveyard. "I know it's not much progress but it's something ri-" Aaron had looked up at that point and he swallowed hard when he saw the stern looking woman sat next to Jackson at the dining table, he didn't even have to think, he knew who she was and inside he was screaming, on the outside the colour in his face had drained and his mouth had gone dry and he felt sick.

Jackson smiled awkwardly. "Aaron, my mum Hazel, Mum this is Aaron, my boyfriend"

Hazel looked Aaron up and down and the look of disgust didn't surprise Aaron but it did Jackson. "So I see…"

"Don't…mum" Jackson muttered.

"You have no idea how much I'm holding it all in right now son" she said as she turned to look at Jackson.

"...Hi…" was all Aaron could say with a nervous wanted nothing but to run upstairs and stay there until she had gone but she was visiting her son, she could be there all night. Yep! He really didn't need her at the moment. "I'll just go and let you two have some peace…I'll be in the living room" he told them quickly and started walking into the living room.

Jackson could hardly blame him, his mum had turned up after having a word with Sol and finding out where he was, she'd come looking and had more words with him already about Aaron, she didn't approve one bit, it was enough to care enough to help him which was how it all started but when Jackson told her he loved him well she flipped and tried with all her strength to make him see sense but he wasn't budging, he thought she'd have gone already after their argument but she was still there and he was worried as to her reasons for staying, she could forget it if she thought she could come into Aaron's home and start on him, it just wasn't happening.

TBC…