It was toward the end of Catherine's pregnancy that Jim Brass got involved in a high speed chase and shoot out. While firing at the driver of the other car, he accidently shot the passenger, which at first didn't seem that bad. He was a suspect after all. But when it was discovered that he'd played no part in the crimes of the driver and was just an innocent passenger, Jim's career was suddenly on the line. Problem for the higher ups was, Jim was seen as a hero by the public. He was doing something about crime in Las Vegas. Besides, his list of commendations and medals was as long as a career criminal's rap sheet and he had a reputation for being squeaky clean in the midst of corruption. They couldn't kick him out the door. So the big brass did the next best thing, they assigned him to CSI. Cavallo was being promoted to Assistant Lab Director, so Jim moved into his spot and became their boss. Gil saw the toll the whole thing took on Jim and decided it was his turn to be a friend, and so he tried. He discovered just how hard being a friend could be. Jim was much better at it, he decided. But he kept trying and made a life long friend in the process.
Catherine's baby was born at 3:36 on a Sunday afternoon. It was a girl. Gil was sure of these facts because he was there. Catherine couldn't find Eddie anywhere and had called Gil to take her to the hospital. In many ways it was the happiest, and also the saddest day of his life. But he got to hold her baby and as Lindsey's blue eyes tried to focus on his, he gave his heart away again. He didn't really understand the connection between them; he just knew he felt it. Eventually the puzzle pieces would come together for him, but for now all he knew was that she was beautiful and she was Catherine's and so he loved her too.
Gil developed a new behavior, normal for most but odd for him. He began to date….regularly. Most of his dates were with lab techs and slowly he gained a reputation around the lab. He was a great dinner date, or someone to take home to mom and dad to prove your social life didn't totally suck, and if you were lucky enough to get a second date…don't expect a third. The lab rats started a betting pool over Gil Grissom. When Catherine came back to work from her maternity leave, she found out about the pool from Missy, an assistant lab rat. The others had forgotten to warn her about not talking to Catherine about Grissom, so she approached the CSI to see if she wanted in on the bet.
"What bet?" Catherine asked.
"Well, if one of us gets him past the second date and into bed, then she wins. But if one of us gets him to admit that he is gay, then we use the money for a pity party."
"Well honey, my guess is the pool is going to keep growing for years."
"Why? I mean, he's not…well… he can…have sex, can't he?"
Catherine couldn't help it. She burst out laughing. If she only knew. "As far as I know, but…well, it's Grissom. It just is the way he is. He'll never go on a third date and I seriously doubt he has any leanings towards other men."
"So, you won't join the bet?"
"No, I'd have a better chance with my money at the casinos." Catherine smiled at the girl and left her standing in the hallway wondering how Catherine knew so much about the guy.
A few weeks later, she showed up on Gil's doorstep, beginning a new pattern in their relationship. He would clean up her scrapes and bruises, help her put Lindsey to sleep and then they would sit on his couch, his arms around her as she cried. The nonviolent side of Grissom would battle with his desire to take his gun and shoot the bastard, Eddie, for abusing Catherine.
On one of those occasions she looked up at him and asked, "Why do you keep doing this, Gil. Why do you keep taking care of us like this? It has to disgust you …that I keep going back?"
"I've told you, Cath. I love you."
The tenderness of his voice and in his eyes said more than even the words could say to her. "But I don't understand. How can you love me like that? How can you…keep this up?"
His hand cupped her head as he pulled her back to him. Holding her gently his soft, comforting voice answered, "so many reasons, Cath. I look at you each day and I find so many reasons."
His cryptic words reminded her of the night that they made love. He had quoted poetry to her. After a few minutes she murmured, "You used to have quotes to tell me…. Have you used up all your quotes?"
Gently he kissed her head and rested his against her as he thought.
"Love in her Sunny Eyes does basking play;
Love walks the pleasant Mazes of her Hair;
Love does on both her Lips for ever stray;
And sows and reaps a thousand kisses there."
"That's so beautiful, who wrote it?"
"Abraham Cowley. He was a poet in the 1600s but I'll bet you never read him when you were in school."
"Name isn't familiar. Is…is that how you see me?" she sounded timid, like she was afraid of his answer. It hurt him to see her confidence broken. "Yes, it is. When I looked at this place to buy it, imagined you sitting here on the couch, the light from the window playing in your hair. Remembering that poem brought back those feelings."
"You imagined me sitting on your couch," she asked as confusion clouded her eyes.
"I did. It was one of the things that made me decide to buy this place; I could see you here."
Catherine gazed at a spec on the wall as she absorbed what he just said. Why is everything so messed up? Why do I even bother with Eddie? I could be here, with him all the time…. But she knew the answer. The answer was asleep in the next room.
"I wish I had stayed that morning. I wish I had never left."
He looked at her, surprised by her confession. "Part of me wanted to tie you down and keep you here, but Eddie seemed to be what you wanted. And more than anything, I want for you to be happy, Catherine. Besides, it wouldn't have been right."
"Eddie's always been like cigarettes for me. I knew they were bad for me, I vowed to quit, and for a long time I kept on smoking."
"So why do you keep going back now?
"Lindsey. He is her father."
"And what happens when he turns his abuse on her?"
"I'll kill him. But I don't think he ever will. He seems to do better when he is around her."
"So you're going back?" She heard the disappointment in his voice.
"I have to, Gil. I hope you can understand."
"No Cath, I can't. But I love you and I'm here for you."
"You are what gives me the strength to go on. Without you, I think I would have fallen apart months ago."
"Cath please…don't go back. It will only get worse. How could it be good for Lindsey to grow up watching her father beat up her mother? What will that teach her?"
"I know" She sat for a few minutes, contemplating a change. "I'm going to tell him he has to go to rehab and get off the coke. It is the coke and other drugs that are causing this."
"And if he doesn't go to rehab?"
"Then I leave. I promise."
"It still worries me, Cath."
"I'll be fine. It'll be okay. You'll see."
Gil sat a long time without speaking, fear gripping his insides and squeezing the air out of him. He was afraid for her and afraid for his sanity if Eddie ever went too far.
PUREJOYPUREJOYPUREJOYPUREJOYPUREJOY
TPTB on this site made changes and now I can't use my little dashes to seperate things anymore:-( So I'll just write PureJoy a thousand times and maybe it will come true! Anyway, hope you enjoyed the latest installment. I read all the wonderful reviews and do so appreciate the input about where this goes. I have given it a lot of thought and have decided to...wait, wouldn't want to spoil your fun. You'll just have to keep reading and find out what I've decided to do. LOL.