The Devil's Innocent Soul: 13
"Just ten more and then you can stop."
"Damn it Emmet, I'm going to murder you."
He grinned down at me, "If you can talk you're not working hard enough." I grind my teeth and press into the weights again. The muscles in my biceps screamed at me as I carefully lifted the bar so it wouldn't swing out of control. I pressed it into my chest, right below my chin and set my feet the way Emmet had shown me. I squat, bending my knees and keeping my back as straight as possible and then roll back up. My thighs protest loudly, sending an army of fire and cramps to rip and plunge their knives deep in my legs.
After my talk with Allen, he had excused himself to finish his paper work and left me with a promise to help me if time ever arose. Comforting, but I still needed to start training, with or without Allen. Later in the day, after visiting the cafeteria and doing a bit of exploring of the Order, I had run into Lizzy being soothed by Emmet. Something must have spooked her because she was on the floor hysterical, while Emmet crouched down next to her, rubbing a hand on her shoulder and whispering softly. I was a bit surprised to find the Emmet had a soft spot, and by the amount of redness in his face when I came around the corner, I was betting his soft spot was specifically Lizzy.
Lizzy had nearly calmed herself completely down by the time I arrived and I decided it was best not to bring it back up, so I didn't ask what had caused her distress. We made small talk for a bit and I brought up my training dilemma. Lizzy told me that Emmet could help me train, but only if I asked him really nicely. After a bit of moral debate, I gave into my shame and asked for Emmet's help as politely as I could. He laughed at me. Figures. Then Lizzy asked him to help me. After a bit of sputtering and I bit more redness, he agreed.
So here I was, my suffering was Emmet's pleasure as he watched me sweat it out in the training area. So far I had made fifteen laps around the outer ring of the training hall, done thirty sets of ten upper body free weight lifting, done some sort of jumping exercise which consisted of Emmet swinging a sword at my feet which I had to jump over, and four sets of lower body squats. This was my fifth and final set. Jesus H. Chris, I was dying.
All the while Lizzy sat against the wall reading out loud my Sherlock homes book. She didn't even read it like a normal person would. She would read a chapter, skip ten or twelve pages, read that for awhile, skip a chapter or two, read and then start over from chapter one. It made the passing of time very confusing for me.
I felt like I had been run over by a whale, every part of my body ached, not only from the exercises I did but from a few hours before when I ran for more than a hour without stopping. I was cramping like you would not believe, in places I thought impossible to cramp in. Wasn't I just a rule breaker then? Impossible parasitic innocence. Impossible running speed and time. Impossible empathic relationship with Akuma. Impossible bodily functions. Yea… this was going great.
The burning in my legs intensified tenfold, turning the searing heat into almost a cold sensation. "Emmet, my Innocence is acting up again."
"The burning? Are you sure it's Innocence and not just muscle?"
"No, this is defiantly Innocence." I huff.
"Right. You can stop the squats now. I want one more lap around the arena and then you can leave." I cursed at him in French and earned a confused look. I laughed, choking on my battered breath and began jogging.
It hurt. I hurt more than most would believe. How can people do this every day, work until one is left with no breath in their lungs, no break for a racing heart, no cooling relief for scorching muscles? But then again, it wasn't worse than being transformed with innocence. Nothing compared with that pain. Not a million deaths could compare to that pain.
I finished the lap and collapsed on the ground, my legs giving out from underneath me. Emmet made a small cry of surprised and shuffled over to help me. He turned me over on my back, pressing into my spine telling me something about keeping my lungs open. Lizzy crawled over with a cup of water and a towel. She poured some water on the towel and then poured the rest on my face. I cried out, but only from the relief the icy water gave my baking flesh. She mopped up the water with the towel and places it under my neck.
"Thanks." I managed, sitting up slowly. Emmet said something else about my spine and lungs but I ignored him. I looked down at myself. I wore basic brown shoes, padded so they wouldn't cause me to twist my ankles as I ran and short shorts the hiked up my thighs because I assumed I would appreciate them once I started working out and it got hot. I did. I pulled vaguely at the blue sleeveless shirt I was wearing. It clung to my body, fitting a bit too tight around my breasts and peeled of my flesh like there was some sort of glue keeping it down. It was only sweet though that suck it to my body, and from the look of it, I probably smelled terrible. "Lizzy, can you help me too the bath?"
"Public Bath. Down by Lenalee. Three doors down. I like it there, it has bubbles. Smell like lavender. The lavenders are a genus of 39 species of flowering plants in the mint family, Lamiaceae. The English word lavender is generally thought to be derived from Old French lavender, to wash, ultimately from the Latin lavare, refereeing to the use-"
"Lavender sounds nice." I cut her off, getting to my feet and she followed suit. I thanked Emmet and asked if he'd be willing to do it again tomorrow. With a nonchalant shrug he agreed and set a time. I nodded and headed out with Lizzy. My legs felt like pudding as I tried moving with them, and I had to regain my balance a few times before the sense of vertigo left me. Lizzy was leading me forward, muttering nonsense, her word running over each other so fast I wondered if her mind ever took a break.
She led me to an intricate door that she opened with a natural sort of grace that told me it was a familiar thing for her. She took my hand and pulled me forward, and I stumbled over my feet and into the room. Besides the shower in each of the residential rooms of the order there were two communal baths for the use of everyone. Lizzy had told me that it was Komui's idea, wishing to put a bit of his homeland's culture into the order. It wasn't all that hard to believe that the bath was Komui's idea. The embellished room was so his style.
The bath was composed of several layers of miniature waterfalls, in a style resembling a hot spring. Surrounding pools of water four feet deep, rocks were placed strategically so that you wouldn't hurt yourself getting into the bath but still enjoy the décor. The bath water was hot, nearly boiling by the look of the steam rising off of it into the chilly air. Looked at it skeptically and shrugged. I wasn't one into theatrics.
Lizzy took me into a room that ran off of the bath that was the dedicated changing and showering room. Lizzy stripped herself down, not hesitating in the least, possibly because she didn't realize there was any reason to be embarrassed or she simply was too used to it. I looked away as she showered for a quick moment, running her fingers through her red hair, the water turning it dark and rich, then she hoped away and into the bath.
I peeled the sleeveless shirt from my body and shrugged out of my shorts and shoes. I stripped away my undergarments and socks and quickly dipped into the shower. I scrubbed the sweet from my body quickly in the room temperature water and then timidly walked over to the baths. Lizzy had completely submerged herself underwater and I took that moment to slip into the water myself before she came back up for air. The water was toeing the point of being too hot, instantly heating my body till it was bright red. My muscles contracted and I relaxed into the water. I really needed that.
Lizzy came up for air like a dying man, taking in a great breath of air and rubbing the water out of her eyes. She blinked and turned to me.
"What's that on your back?" she asked in one clear coherent sentence. I smile at her, glad that the water helps clear her mind a bit.
"A birth mark I think." I answer, "I'm not quite sure."
"Birthmarks are never that elaborate. Birthmarks are caused by overgrowth of blood vessels, melanocytes, smooth muscle, fat, fibroblasts, or keratinocytes. But this," she took a breath, "Is a language known only to the prophets who gave us the cube. That and it looks similar to the data given on January 16th 458672-38 report 17. Allen Walker. Music Sheet Timcampy. Mana Walker and the Fourteenth relations." She froze, "NO! no. no. no. no." she threw up her arms and started to punch at her head. I called out and gripped her wrists, restraining her. She let out a very long pathetic cry and stopped struggling.
"What's wrong Lizzy?" I asked at the sudden outburst of violence. I loosened my grip but didn't let go.
"I'm not allowed to speak of it. Neither to friends nor nice people. Inspector will hit me. He tells me beauty hides the most useless of minds, he says I must do as he says. Don't speak of the secrets, do not tell. NO. no. no. That hurts. Stop!" she was thrashing around now, caught in a memory of pain and I had to shout to get her attention. She looked up with a mixture of pure terror and a sincere plea for help. God save her.
"Lizzy, it's okay. You're alright." I murmur. "I already know most about what you were talking about anyway from Allen."
"Allen." She echoed, like she liked the name. She smiled slowly, "So many of the secrets are his. I can't say though. No. I can't say." I looked at her steadily and released her arms. They feel to her side and she slipped into silence, wading at the other side of the bath to daydream.
My birthmark looked like the language on the cube? Or was it the sheet music Allen had read? She hadn't been so clear, and she spoke so fast it was easy to miss words. If the birthmark was the language on the cube then that was understandable, the mark just acted as the connect ion of the soul innocence to my body. If it was the sheet music, I hadn't a clue what to think.
I wanted to ask her about it, but I was weary of her reaction. What brought such violence? What was it that she said? Something about the inspector. I froze in the raging heat of the bath.
"Lizzy?" I called through and mouthful of steam, "Can you speak?" she lifted her eyes slowly and nodded at me. "Lizzy, has the inspector hit you before?" she didn't say anything, only stared at me. Strange that I never really saw her eyes before. They were green, but so clear they could have been glass like little transparent orbs. Empty, yet filled to the brim.
"Lizzy," I said again, my voice growing harsh, "Has the inspector hurt you?"
Silence.
"Damn it Lizzy! Answer me." I demanded, my voice quivering. Lizzy's eyes held me for a moment and then sank to the water.
"Yes." She was crying.
"Why?" I say softly this time, hesitant from her tears, "Why would he do that?"
"I was foolish Sara. Seeking knowledge. Thought that if I could just know more, anything more, I might stand a better chance. Finders die every day. And I did. I live but Michael died. I couldn't save him. I couldn't save anyone." Her head lowered a bit, "Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. Bertrand Russell. Yes, I read those files. I know the secrets. Now it is my silence that is needed most. A choice given to me. Silence, seclusion, or death."
"If you promise to stay silent though, why did he hurt you?"
"I can't stop it." Her voice was shaking violently now, fingers twisting in her hair, "It all there. Swirling and swirling. I try. Don't think that I don't. Like a child's secret, it floats in the front of your mind hanging on your tongue. Waiting for your guard to slip and you let it go. Then it's too late and words are words. You can't take it back. They go away and you can never take them back." Now she was full out sobbing, large heaving choking breaths violently burst from her chest. I stood and stepped from the water and retrieved a towel and wrapped it around myself. I grabbed another from the cabinet on the wall and walked back to the bath. Reaching under her arms, I pull her from the water, heaving a bit and I get her sitting on the side of the bath. Her arms were wrapped around her chest, her body trembling fiercely. I drape the towel around her shoulders and then crouched to me knees and wrap my arms around her. It was an awkward, unfamiliar hug. Still I felt her stiff shoulders relax and lean into me.
"Shhh." I breathed soothingly, her soaking hair pressed against my cheek. "You're okay. You're okay." We stayed there for quite some time, me breathing like the ocean and her quivering in my arms. Eventually she pulled away and took my hand, wrapping it around her fingers.
"We are both okay." She murmured. "Pretty rings. Nice girl. Sara. Sara. Is it alright if I call you my friend?"
"Yea." I said back, "And Joseph too. We'll both be your friends."
"Friends." She said thoughtfully lifting her head to meet my eyes, "You're not allowed to die then. You can't leave me. Not again. Not ever again. Michael."
"I'm not going to die." I said forcing a smile. She scowled.
"Everyone dies Sara. Every second of every day, we die just a little inside. Tick. Tick. Tick. No, someday we all will die. Just let me the first. Me esse primum. Unum."