Tori gnawed at her thumbnail, eyes darting back and forth from one side of the view from the window to the other. She was nervous. She felt like she was going to vomit. She felt like… like…

…like she was doing something illegal.

I can't believe I'm about to do this! I can't even, like, begin to understand how I ended up in this situation! How is this even happening?!

As her other hand fingered the fabric of the curtain, Tori continued to fret, worrying away at her nail even as her jaw started to ache. She'd been standing there for at least seven straight minutes, and she hadn't moved an inch.

The sound of her sister's irritating voice shouting her name caused her to jump, hand flying away from her mouth as she turned her guilty gaze towards the eldest Vega girl. Trina stood with her hands on her hips, face somewhere between serious and irritated as only an older sister's face can be. "What are you doing? You've been acting like a twitchy piece of furniture for like, ten minutes and it's starting to give me the creeps! And why are you dressed like that?"

Tori groaned, eyes closing in exasperation. "Trina," she whined, "Can we not do this right now? I'm already on edge as it is, I don't need you-"

"But why are you on edge? What's going on?"

Nervous brown eyes opened as Tori bit at her bottom lip. Should she confess? Should she tell her sister what was going on? Maybe for once in her life Trina would play the part of loving older sister and offer her some actual advice. Considering what she was about to do though, she doubted that would happen. She was actually almost positive that it wouldn't happen.

She sighed, turning to look over her shoulder and send her sister a desperate glare that she hoped screamed 'Go away you irritating thing I am already ready to explode and you are not helping'.

But Trina didn't take the hint. Instead, Tori saw her eyes flick over past Tori's shoulder and widen in surprise. Her own heart clenched in her chest as she turned back around and looked back out the window. She could see headlights, and the sight of them, finally here, made a lump form at the back of her throat. "Do you have a date?! Who is it?! Why didn't you tell me?! Oh my god!"

Suddenly hands were on her shoulders and her eyes were ripped away from the dual lights waiting outside to her sister's crazed face, inches away from her own. "Who is it?!"

Tori immediately tried to get out of her sister's grip, fighting to free herself as Trina continued to ask her over and over again, voice getting more and more irritating each time. Trina kept her grip firm though, and eventually Tori got sick of being manhandled and shouted, "It's Beck!" The fighting stopped and Tori's gaze fell to the floor, embarrassed. An awkward silence passed before Tori looked up and saw her sister staring at her in shock. "…it's Beck, alright? I gotta go."

And before her sister had a chance to rant and rave about how unfair life was or how dare Tori go out with Beck when she knew that her gorgeous older sister had called dibs the second she'd found out he was single, Tori grabbed her jacket and ran for the door.

Hurrying out into the cool fall night, she pulled her jacket on and headed straight for Beck's car. This whole situation was quite frankly terrifying; it was hard to believe that she was about to go on a date with Beck… and it was even harder to believe that she had kissed Jade last night. She had kissed Jade. Not the other way around, like that first time. Tori had actually initiated something and she had to admit… it had felt pretty amazing.

Seeing Jade smile, being the cause of that smile… it had warmed her from head to toe and leaning in had seemed almost instinctual.

And she was so sweet about it; when she warned me to leave before she lost it and kissed me… something changed. It all became so much more concrete. I mean, before that it was still just so surreal! The thought of Jade liking me that way, I don't think I really understood that she was serious even after that first kiss. I was terrified that it was all just some crazy dream, that I'd wake up and she'd still be dating Beck and we'd still be fighting with each other like always.

But yesterday changed everything. Now, Jade's wearing a promise that I made to her, and I know for a fact that kissing her is in no way gross or weird or anything stupid like that. It's actually really… nice.

And I totally wouldn't be against doing it again.

She shook her head, putting on a smile as she neared Beck's car. Time to forget Jade, at least for now. Tonight was his night, Jade had said so herself. Tori had been a little more than surprised when the other girl had taken her face in her hands, right after kissing her, and told her that she owed Beck at least a first date. It was so sweet, and so brave of her. Tori could tell that Jade hadn't wanted to give Beck a chance, hadn't wanted to risk losing her, but she did it anyway. That was something Tori wasn't sure that she'd have had the courage to do, had their roles been reversed.

But for some reason, Jade's blessing wasn't enough to get rid of this awkward, nervous knot in her chest, or the lump that had taken up residence in her esophagus.

Why am I so nervous about this? It's just a date! It's just Beck, why am I so-

"Hey Tori!" The half-Latina leaned over slightly to peak in through the passenger side window of the car and saw Beck, grinning sheepishly and waving at her. "Sorry I'm late. I had to check on something. You look great, by the way!"

"Oh, don't worry about it, and thank you," she answered with a shy smile. Here we go… She tugged at the door handle but found that it wouldn't budge, so she leaned back down and raised an eyebrow in Beck's direction. He continued to smile at her for another moment before his eyes went wide and he realized that he'd forgotten to unlock the door. An apology came tumbling out of his mouth as he unlocked it, running a hand through his hair in embarrassment as Tori slid in with a laugh. "Seriously, no worries. So, where are we going?"

He still looked slightly embarrassed as he put the car in drive and pulled away from the curb, but his voice was just as smooth and calm as always. "Oh, you know. Just a little place called…" he glanced over in her direction, a grin growing on his face, "Lucques."

Tori's mouth dropped open in shock. "Lucques?! Beck, that place is like, crazy expensive! And it's like, impossibleto get a reservation there!"

Beck's grin stretched wider. "Not when your uncle owns it."

Tori's eyebrows shot up, impressed. "Huh. Look at you, Mr. Connections!"

"Ah, stop it. Go ahead and fiddle with the radio if you want. Find something good. I am a responsible driver and wouldn't be caught dead with my attention turned to anything other than the road, even if there was a beautiful girl sitting next to me." Before he pulled away he looked at her out of the corner of his eye and his grin stretched wider. "But you wouldn't know anything about road safety, now would you?"

Tori's mouth dropped open in shock and her hand, already halfway to the radio, immediately changed its course to smack Beck's arm. "Dude! It's not my fault I can't drive!"

"Actually yeah, it kind of is. You're a perfectly intelligent young lady and there's no excuse for you to not have your-"

"Don't say it!"

Beck laughed, and after a few moments of trying to keep up the whole embarrassed façade Tori gave in and did the same. Perfectly comfortable laughter, a perfectly comfortable moment. Maybe this date wouldn't be as awkward as she'd thought.

They'd been friends for a long time and they'd always cared about each other… why shouldn't they be doing this? They were both single now, and even though she was well aware of how Jade felt about her Tori had every right to give Beck a chance- Well duh, even Jade told you that. In fact, I wonder if you even would have used that chance had Jade not gone ahead and told you to, even though it probably killed her a little bit to do so.

Their laughter faded away into a semi-awkward silence. Tori leaned over to find a suitable radio station to fill it, biting at her bottom lip as the voice in her head continued to lecture her.

Why are you even bringing this up? Why are you trying to justify this? It's not like you should feel guilty or anything; you and Jade aren't officially dating and she wants you to go on this date. She's trying to prove to you how much she's grown since you've first met, and you should be respecting her wishes and giving Beck your full attention. This is just as much for her sake as it is for yours, you know.

Tori knew all of this, and yet… and yet she still felt guilty. She'd felt guilty since yesterday, from the moment Jade had dropped her off and pulled away. Tori had seen a falsely confident smirk fall away into despair despite the other girl's attempt to peel out and make an escape before she saw.

But Tori had since it, and ever since then…

…ever since then I've had nothing but Jade on the brain. That's why I feel so guilty. Because I know this is hurting her, and I can't stand knowing that. That's why I feel sick to my stomach too; I can't handle being responsible for her pain. I've always wanted her to be happy, I've always been trying to help her… and it's always felt so good! Seeing her smile, it's always put me on cloud nine.

But now, my being here is hurting her.

They made it to the restaurant about ten minutes later, exchanging flirty banter the whole way that Tori's heart wanted no part of.

For all of her talk about making a choice, somehow she felt like a choice had already been made. What weighed heavily on her shoulders was the realization that she would still have to spend the night with Beck.

And the fact that she didn't want to scared her. It wasn't like her date was a complete stranger.

A waiter came and they were seated at a table, Beck holding out her chair for her like a gentleman and smiling that oh so charming smile that Tori tried to swoon for but just… couldn't. They ordered food that Tori didn't feel like eating, knowing that Beck wouldn't really be paying for any of this because his uncle owned the place and they probably wouldn't even bother bringing a check.

Beck was her friend... she shouldn't feel this way! Even if she didn't feel that way about him (as she was slowly beginning to realize) she shouldn't feel nauseous about it.

"So Tori…" She snapped to attention, eyes flying from her untouched plate to Beck's suddenly serious face. The corner of his mouth twitched up in an attempt at a smile, but his dark eyes remained, well... dark. And concerned. He rested his elbows on the table, laced his fingers together and rested his chin on the bridge they made, gaze never leaving hers. "I can see that you're having a horrible time."

Tori immediately spluttered in denial, but Beck shook his head and sighed, falling back into his chair as a real smile (sad as it was) fought its way onto his face. His gaze fell away from hers, dropping to his plate. "It's okay. I had a feeling this would happen."

The half-Latina frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You're thinking about Jade right now, aren't you?" Tori went rigid in her chair, mouth dropping open in surprise. How did he…? "Look Tori, you're a fantastic singer but you've never been the best actress. I could tell from the second you sat down that you weren't actually here. You've been off in your own little world all night."

"Beck… I-I'm sorry, I-"

"Tori," he interrupted, "It's okay. I… I talked to her yesterday. About you. About how she feels about you. It wasn't exactly a friendly conversation, either… but it made me realize a few things. Actually, I guess you could say it helped me figure a few things out. Why you two always seem to end up together, for example. Why you never gave up on her, for another… and why Jade is so much stronger now than when we first got together." He sighed heavily, head lolling back to stare up at the ceiling.

He was silent for a minute, deep in thought, before Tori saw his eyes slide shut. "Has she told you yet?"

Tori had a feeling he already knew the answer to that question, but she owed it to him to at least say it out loud. "Yes." She couldn't stop the smile that immediately bloomed on her face. The memory of yesterday immediately came to the forefront of her mind: the ring, the look of wonder that had shone in those beautiful green eyes, the dazzling smile full of hope… and those lips, pressed against hers.

The blood that raced to her cheeks? Yeah, she couldn't stop that either.

"See? You're thinking about her right now." His eyes were open now, staring at her in quiet defeat. A minute passed before he stood up without a word, offering her his hand and bringing her up with him. Beck gazed at her softly for a moment, eyes glassy with pain. He led them from the restaurant, stopping to get their coats before leaving, of course. He even helped her into hers (ever the gentleman) before he retook her hand and they continued outside. Her hand felt small in his, overpowered. It was… odd.

Nothing like holding Jade's hand.

He drove her home in silence; she didn't bother with the radio. All she could do was sit there, wondering.

She tried to remember what it was like between her and Beck before all of this had happened, what great friends they'd been. Was it all ruined? Forever? She could see how tightly his hands gripped the steering wheel… despite how gently he was treating her Tori could tell that he was deeply hurt.

She chanced a glance at his profile.

Maybe hurt is the wrong word… honestly he just looks depressed.

I'm sorry, Beck.

He pulled up outside her house, put the car in park and sagged into his seat. He didn't speak. He didn't look at her. Tori gripped her coat, unsure of how to handle the situation. She opened her mouth to speak, but it shut with a sigh and she slumped back as well.

Silence filled the car, thick and suffocating.

Suddenly an image of Jade, arms crossed and eyebrow raised, flashed through her head. It practically screamed 'Get on with it' and Tori realized how selfish she was being. If she felt anything for Jade at all, she shouldn't just be sitting here. She was being weak, allowing these things to happen and allowing this silence to consume them. With every moment that passed, a wedge was being driven deeper and deeper between them; soon there would be nothing left to save, no friendship to salvage. She didn't want that! How could she ever hope to deserve a relationship with Jade if she didn't even have the backbone to fix this?

Her hands fisted in her jacket and her jaw clenched, eyes narrowing in determination. She breathed in once and let it out slowly.

She turned to Beck, and even though her heart broke seeing him as miserable as he was, she had to do this. "Look Beck, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that this didn't work out the way you wanted it to, and I'm sorry that I can't feel the same way about you that… you feel about me. I can't help it. I care about Jade, and I need her to know it. I don't know what's going to happen from here, but I want you to know that I'm sorry."

Beck was silent for a long while.

Tori stared at him, waiting for a response, but with none forthcoming she sighed and turned to leave. However, a hand lashed out and snagged her wrist before she could even open the door, and she looked back. He was still staring straight ahead, but the grip on her wrist was tight and for a moment she was afraid.

"I'm sorry too."

And suddenly his lips were on hers.

And it felt all wrong.

Jade couldn't help but feel... uneasy.

She'd gone to Cat's house in an attempt to distract herself from the fact that Tori, her Tori, was going on a date with Beck tonight.

It wasn't working.

Cat was bouncing around, being her usual ditzy self, prattling on and on about God knows what, not that Jade particularly cared. All she'd been doing for the past two hours was flip through channels, looking for anything gruesome or even remotely disturbing to try and amuse herself with. So far, she'd watched a special on medieval torture devices, another on Mayan culture (which she'd only watched because of the alarming amount of time they'd spent on human sacrifices), and she'd been halfway through a report on a school shooting before the channel had switched to a special on some idiotic celebrity and their latest idiotic escapades involving an electric razor and a neighbor's dog.

The razor had been incentive enough to watch for all of five minutes, but then the celebrity, an idiot bottle blonde, had started talking.

So now she was laid out on Cat's bed, flipping channels, and very close to flipping out. Cat's incessant chattering was really beginning to grate on her nerves, and if she checked her phone only to find she had no new messages from a certain half-Latina one more time, she'd surely go insane.

And that could be dangerous.

"Jade? ...Jade? Jade!"

She ran her fingers back and forth over Tori's ring (she hadn't taken it off), trying to calm herself. Cat kept calling her name though, and she wouldn't stop. Her voice wormed it's way into her ears, down into her brain, digging deeper and deeper, practically mining through her skull, searching for something that wasn't there. Maybe some ounce of interest or care for what she was saying, something that Jade didn't have. Her lip curled in a snarl and her hands clenched, entire body tensing...

"Jade Jade Jade Jade Jade Jade Jade-"

"What?!" A resounding crack was heard from across the room, and Jade realized the remote was no longer in her hand. She looked at Cat, and her heart leapt up in her throat when she saw the fear in her friends eyes. In her anger, she'd thrown the remote at her best friend. "Cat..."

Cat shrieked and jumped away, used to her explosive temper she supposed, but still.

Jade sighed and drove her face into the bed, ashamed of herself. Usually she had enough restraint to avoid causing damage, but she was already on edge and it wasn't helping that Cat had chosen tonight to be extra annoying. "Look Cat, I'm in a bad mood tonight, and... I-I'm-"

She was about to say she was sorry, which would have taken time given she was not used to apologizing to people, when all of a sudden her phone buzzed.

Her head snapped up and she lunged for it, hoping against hope that it was Tori.

It was, but what she read made her blood run cold. All thoughts of apologizing to Cat flew from her head as she grabbed her bag, pulled on her jacket and ran from the room.

'I need you.'

I apologize for the wait people, college has been rough on my sleep cycle. I've been recuperating for the past week, but here you are. Chapter 13.