REVISED 13/09/17
CHAPTER THIRTEEN - HIDDEN MEANINGS
Shadows settle on the place, that you left.
Our minds are troubled by the emptiness.
Destroy the middle, it's a waste of time.
From the perfect start to the finish line.
Youth ~ Daughter
…
NALI
In my experience every story had a beginning, middle and an end. The reader followed the tale of a protagonist, devoured their ups and downs until the story reached its happy – or on occasion – sad conclusion. The pages close, the book put to the side as we ponder the deeper meaning behind the text, just as we often wonder about the greater significance of our lives. For a while it may be all we can think of until a new book is discovered and the previous one tucked away in the back of our minds.
For now, the story is finished, its characters forgotten.
Eerily, reality can also follow this pattern. The investigation into the deaths of Daichi and Hideaki Tanaka transpired the same way.
There was at first the shock of their deaths on the community; the half murmured 'I'm sorry for your loss' from supposedly familiar strangers; the questions on what to do next quickly followed by the Police inquiry. The scandals and the screaming headlines were never far behind. And to finish, the final verdict that it had in fact all been an unfortunate accident, that no one could be held to blame.
But they were wrong because someone could be held to blame. It was my fault they had been in the car, my fault they were driving so fast on icy roads. My fault.
And like most readers when the verdict had been announced, the final piece of the puzzle in our story placed, the very newspapers who had been hounding the bereaved heiresses of the Tanaka fortune for the last month had lost interest. For them the last page had been closed.
Our stories still continued on though. There were matters to be dealt with, things to organise. The board members of Tanaka Enterprise looked to its next figure head and its new leader.
Which was me.
I used the word leader very loosely, I had no real say in anything Tanaka Enterprise did. All I really did was sign a few things and show up to a few meetings.
Which was exactly why I was currently awake pacing the chilled empty house in ancient pyjamas, bare feet padding along creaking floorboards as the burnt umber streaks of dawn set the room aglow. Not that I was paying much attention to the dawn, I was too busy skimming the recent business transactions that had thudded their way through my letter box this fine morning, a cup of steaming coffee in the other hand.
It was nothing new to me, mostly the final sealing of recent contracts and the blueprints of new ones. I may not have had much to do with my Father's business, but that did not mean I didn't keep my finger on the pulse. I preferred knowing exactly what was going on in the company I mostly owned rather than not knowing. The black and white print of the text blurred before my tired eyes and with a sigh, I dropped the collection of papers on the kitchen worktop with a thud. If I never saw another contract in my life again, it would be too soon.
The fairy lights I had draped along the ceiling of the kitchen twinkled almost mockingly as I slid down onto the floor, slumped against the cupboard doors. I set the mug clasped in my hand upon the tiles, entranced by the swirling steam that rose from the warm liquid. The chilled floor embraced the bare soles of my feet, its icy grasp spreading like frost expanding on a winter's day. The letters I had yet to peruse tumbled off the edge of the worktop before landing beside me on the oaken floors.
I blinked blurrily, squinting up at the golden light shining in through cracks in venetian blinds. A soft padding along the floor drew me from my thoughts and I glanced up to see a pair of eyes staring at me. Sasha padded towards me, her furry tail sashaying lazily as she rubbed herself along the length of my stretched out legs. I petted her dark fur absentmindedly. Barely any sleep had comforted me last night, instead tossing and turning had greeted me. Long hours spent staring at the ceiling as my head pounded, stomach drew itself in knots and my thoughts spiralled in continuous circles.
I'd thought of Mei and Haruhi, of our mishaps with the Host Club, Kyoya's intense stares and deep fathoms of grey and blue, of brain tumours and stupid headaches and endless bottles of little pills. And of the upcoming company meeting booked for the following week. In fact, my thoughts were so plagued by these streams of consciousness it was a miracle I received any sleep at all from the sandman.
And to top it all off, the first phase of my new art project needed to be completed today. There was just so much to do and yet so little time to complete it.
Oh stop your whinging. Inner-Nali retorted, Finish your letters, so that we can get a move on. This Art Project won't finish itself after all.
With a mild groan, I collected the pile from the ground and began to sift through it disinterestedly. The cat mewed, rolling over the floor before settling by my side.
Bill. Bill. Bill. School Letter. Bill and oh what a surprise another Bill! Inner-Nali commentated smartly to which I snorted mentally, Charity. Bill. Bill. Bi- Oh.
My hands trembled as I reached the last letter in the pile. Familiar handwriting was scrawled across the front of the envelope. Handwriting which made my stomach twist with dread as Inner-Nali quietened in the back of my mind.
I dropped the rest of the useless post onto the floor, fully focusing on the envelope in my hand. With mild hesitation, I tore open the envelope and pulled the collection of papers free from its paper encasing.
The papers unravelled in my grasp and I scanned them quickly. I really wished I hadn't. The text that greeted me sent nausea washing over me like tidal waves threatening to pull you down to a watery grave, followed by a white fiery rage.
My medical records stared up at me innocently. Every single detail from the past few months, the dates I had visited the doctor, the medication I was receiving, Doctor's extensive notes on my illness which even I had not seen for myself.
Clenching my fists, I placed the crumpled papers to the side – Sasha pounced on them, quickly entranced by her new entertainment – and faced the odd sheet out in the pile. It was laden with assaulting lavender scent she usually dosed herself in and embossed in the signature silver trim of her office stationary.
Only five words were inscribed on the paper. Seventeen letters, four spaces, five words.
You can't hide from me.
Eyes narrowed on the single sentence and angry fists went white from the force of clenching the paper so tightly. Pissed didn't even began to cover the turmoil of emotions that single sentence had revived. Some part of me was somewhat surprised that Neikan would stoop to such an underhanded blow. Scratch that, I could fully believe that she would stoop that low.
Fury reared its head. How dare she? How dare she pull a stunt like this?!
I had enough to deal with without any of her stupid threats looming over the calm I had managed to achieve. An angry exhale was heaved as the paper crumpled into a ball between my fists before dropping onto the floorboards with a single bounce. Sasha mewed, taking the opportunity to pounce on the ball of paper with renewed vigour.
There was no doubt that I had let naivety blind me from realising that she had been watching. After all, Neikan loved using any excuse to twist the dagger in the destructive and corrupted relationship that existed between us. We had no middle ground, no halfway house to be met. Even being within five metres of each other was enough of an incentive to start World War Three.
Brushing a hand through my hair, exhaustion twisted at my features washing away the last of my anger. My aunt was in short a force to be reckoned with. And one I did not antagonise so easily. It would be like poking a dragon – think Smaug-like – with a stick and then running like hell for your life.
Inner-Nali snickered at that mental image and even I couldn't help the small grin that tugged at my lips briefly. Sasha glanced up from her destruction of Neikan's letter in favour of circling my bare calves, her fluffy tail swinging from side to side. I gathered her in my arms and clutched her close to my chest. At times I felt like I was the hero in my own story, battling my own demons and facing my own fears. Others I felt like the world was crashing down and there was nothing I could do to stop the chaos that was beckoning.
The truth was that I was no protagonist in this tale. My aunt may be the villain and Kito and Yori my guides but I was nobody's hero. After the inevitable end of this story, would you remember me?
Rising to my feet I ignored Inner-Nali's grumbling for my own musings while Sasha decided it would be a good idea to drape herself across my shoulders inconveniently. Readers turn to fairy tales to escape the troubles of everyday life, we invest so much time in their stories so as to divine some sort of meaning from the text which can be easily compared to the troubles in our own lives or to find some new belief in a fantasy world where the impossible becomes possible. I exited the kitchen, precariously balancing a wayward cat on my shoulder and leaving all thoughts of my meddlesome aunt to the back of my mind. My forgotten coffee stopped steaming and the fairy lights continued to cast their glow in the dim light as the last streaks of dawn rose. The room was silent save for the groaning of the stairs as I ascended them.
And then, eerily, the forgotten ball of paper began to tip from side to side along scuffed wooden boards until the paper fully unfurled itself so that its simple sentence lay bare for all to see.
…
"We were victims of the night, hmmm kryptonite, Helpless to hm hm hmmmhm the fading light." I hummed, bobbing my head along to the cheery tune blasting into my earphones.
The art room was deserted, thank Kami. I seriously doubted anyone would wish to be subject to my attempts to sing. Not that I was downright dreadful or particularly painful to listen to – I could hold a tune just fine – I just had a chronic habit of forgetting the correct words and substituting my own in instead often to disastrous consequences.
I didn't do it on purpose! I was just a naturally forgetful person.
"Oh, don't you dare look back. Just keep your eyes hmmm. You're holding back, hmmmm. Shut up and dance with me!"
In fact it was that little habit of forgetting which had unfortunately led me to current job of dancing around the art room, art supplies piled shakily high in my arms. Next time I decided to be helpful to my art teacher, I'd need to actually take note of what I was volunteering to be helpful with.
Damn straight! Inner Nali grumbled, You volunteered us for two weeks of clean up duty! Mei is going to have our head! Not to mention all the other bullshit we still have to deal with!
I rolled my eyes, stepping up onto a chair in an attempt to reach the paint storage cupboard. Continuing to hum under my breath, I stretched up onto my tiptoes to tug open the hanging cupboard door. So clean up duty wasn't my favourite job in the world, but at least I didn't have to contend with other canaries while doing it.
And on the bright side, I noted mentally, Mrs Hanabusa loved our concept sketches.
Inner Nali snorted while I shifted the last bundle of palettes into the tall cupboard. Loved was a bit of an understatement; the woman had nonstop gushed for the whole of the lesson about 'How bright and talented Miss Tanaka was' and 'How lucky she was to have the Art Scholarship Student in her class'. The door slammed shut and I hopped down off of the chair.
"Deep in her eyes, I think I see the future. Hm hmmm hmmm my last chance." With some weird dance crossed with hop bounce move, I slid the chair away under the table in time for the chorus to come belting through my ears.
"This woman is my destiny, She said, 'Ooh-ooh-hoo, Shut up and dance with me'."
"Well somebody is in a good mood."
"MERDE!" I startled, whipping around to face the intruder.
Mei occupied the doorway, half leaning against the door frame and half smirking at me. I instantly scowled.
"What the heck Mei?" I cried, pulling my headphones to sit around my neck lazily, "What is it with you and sneaking up on me?"
"It's not my fault you're so easily startled! Besides you looked like you were busy with some important jamming." She grinned widely, "Kito send you his newest theme songs?"
I grumbled, toeing the ground and avoiding all eye contact, half from embarrassment and half from annoyance of my friend interrupting my bubble.
"Theme songs. I'll theme songs you in a minute. It's called a bloody Mixtape." I snapped at her, "And for your information, I was just finishing up Clean Up Duty."
Mei sent me a pointed look as I gathered my things together, swinging my side bag over my shoulder.
"You forgot part of your folio again, didn't you?"
I paused. Shooting my friend a wide eyed look, I was the frame of innocence. "I don't know what you mean."
Mei snickered.
"The only time you volunteer for Clean Up Duty, accidentally or otherwise, is when you want to distract Hanabusa from realising that you don't have your whole folio with you."
I blinked at my friend and then I cursed her ability to see through my deception under my breath. Mei just laughed, ruffling my shorter hair.
"You're a terrible liar, Nali-chan."
"I am not!" I scowled, pushing her hands from my hair. It was messy enough without her encouraging my escaping strands any further. "Hanabusa didn't see through it."
"Hanabusa thinks you are Kami's gift to man." Mei rolled her eyes, as I locked the art room before pocketing the keys. "She practically worships the ground you walk on."
A red flush crept up and my scowl deepened, killer aura escaping. Mei remained unaffected and continued to laugh.
"It's hard to take your anger seriously when you look so cute." She pinched my cheek, cooing at me, "Did you know your nose scrunches up when you scowl?"
"Geroff me, you weirdo." I pushed her away, her laughter echoing down the corridor as I began to rapidly walk away from my crazy friend. She honest to Kami scared me sometimes.
"Hey wait up!"
"Imbécile." I muttered, "Why are you even here anyways?"
Mei caught up, slinging her arm over my shoulder and depositing half her weight on my much smaller form. I walked on, ignoring the sliding of her feet along the ground and her aura of desperation.
"Oh how your words wound me Nali-Bali! So heartless, so cold, so cruel, so thoughtless, so-"
"Cut to the chase, Mei." I cut through my friend's drama before her sorrowful monologue could continue, "What do you want?"
"Me? I don't want anything." Mei released her grasp on me, pulling herself to her full height.
"Oh no no no. You don't get away that easily. I know that scheming look and I am not getting involved."
"I never said anything about getting involved in anything." Mei shook her head, but that scheming glint in her eye remained. "All I wanted was-"
Knew she was up to something! Inner Nali declared.
"- for you to come to Host Club with me."
"That's it?" I asked her dubiously.
She nodded, a wide grin on her face. "That's it."
Seems too easy. Inner Nali noted her eyes narrowing.
"What's the catch?"
"No catch." She said strongly, "Just wanted some company at the Club, you know what the other girls can be like sometimes and annoying Haruhi only entertains me for so long."
Ok, so it was true I did know what the other girls could be like, especially to fellow dramatic Fangirls like Mei. But it still seemed too easy.
"They haven't got some weird twisted cosplay theme thing going on today? It's just a normal hosting day?"
"Yes yes. Look, I'll be honest. The Hosts met Ranka yesterday-" I sweatdropped at the thought of the enigmatic man I'd had the pleasure of encountering several times before. Him and Mei together were like a force to be reckoned with, but him and Tamaki? Kami knows the disaster they had caused. "-And I'm dying to know how it turned out, but I don't want to ask in front of the other girls because you know what they'll think, so I'll have to wait until the end to ask but I'll die of boredom before then if you don't come and Honey has been bugging me to bring you because he wants more cakes and you're my best friend and-"
"Ok, Ok I get it!" I cried, slapping my hand over her mouth. "I'll come with you if you just stop with the word vomit!"
Mei squealed and I quickly retracted my hand before it could be infected with Mei Slobber. I'd only just wiped my hand on my skirt, when Mei grabbed my arm and dragged me down the corridor at a stomach churning speed.
You're going to regret this. Inner Nali sang with evil glee.
Don't I know it. I mentally replied as Mei practically forced me through the horrid pink doors.
The doors slammed open and all gazes turned to look in our direction. Not that I particularly cared, I was too busy puzzling over the fact that no rose petals were falling from the ceiling. Maybe it was programmed to only fall at certain times?
"Mei, Nali?" Haruhi's voice pulled me from my musings, "What are you two doing here?"
The bewildered girl was staring at us concernedly, and I could feel the weighted glances several of the guests were shooting us. It was stifling. The urge to run and retreat started to weigh heavily on me and I shifted a foot behind me.
But Mei held fast and strong and shot our friend a bright and slightly manic grin.
"Hey Haruhi, we're booked in with Mori and Honey, I believe?"
We are?
"You are?" Haruhi asked, shooting me a baffled look to which I could only shrug in response.
Mei opened her mouth to reply when a familiar short blonde streak raced towards us.
"Mei-chan! Li-chan! You came!" Honey cried, attaching himself to Mei's legs and almost bowling me over in the process.
"Hai, Honey-sempai I said I would and I always keep my word!" Mei declared loudly, pulling what creepily resembled the Nice Guy pose, "That is my nindo! My ninja way!"
Yup, that would definitely be the Nice Guy pose. I facepalmed, trying to save myself from the humiliation of the weighted glares that were already burning a hole through my head.
"And I even brought you cake!"
A peek through my hands revealed Mei holding out an eerily familiar bakery box to Honey, who literally had stars shining from his eyes. He greedily grasped the box in his tiny hands, grinning widely up at Mei before turning his megawatt grin towards me.
"Thank you, Li-chan!" He launched himself towards me, his one armed grasp tight around my knees for someone who was so small.
"Uh you're welcome Honey-senpai?" I replied patting his head awkwardly and shooting Mei a withering look.
She grinned widely at me as the tiny blonde relinquished his literally bruising grip and began to tug us towards his table for the day. Honey chattered on at a million miles per hour, so fast he sent my head spinning. But Mei seemed to have no problem keeping up with his psychobabble, occasionally humming and hawing and nodding her head like her neck had lost control over its ability to properly support her head's weight.
I froze when my gaze landed on our intended table. Several girls were already crowded around the pearly pink table set between two plush red sofas; many of them were talking animatedly to Mori or amongst themselves, but a few were watching our approach coldly.
I knew what would happen when I sat down and I couldn't be arsed with it. The looming threat of my aunt's interference was enough confrontation for me for today.
So I simply turned on my heel and walked the other way.
"Li-chan!" Honey's voice halted me in my tracks and I turned to face him as he raced to my side. "Where are you going?"
"I uh uhm," My gaze darted about for a quick escape. It landed on Kyoya who sat at a secluded table far from the other hosts and then on Haruhi who was filling up her silver tray not far from his position. Devious escape in mind, I turned coolly to the tiny host, "I'm going to get a cup of tea?"
So much for playing it cool! Inner Nali grumbled.
"But there's tea at our table! I'll even pour it for you myself!" Honey told me sagely, looking up at me with large puppy dog eyes. I could feel my resolve about to give in when Mei spoke up.
"Leave her to it, Honey-senpai, Nali's funny about her tea." I almost breathed a sigh of relief at my friend's words. "Besides we wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."
Honey glanced between us and then down to his new box and the ever present Usa-chan. His mouth twisted with displeasure before he nodded, more to himself it seemed than to the both of us. When he looked back up, all previous signs of displeasure had vanished, a wide smile stretched across his face instead.
"Ok, Li-chan, but you have to promise to look after Usa-chan while you're away!"
I blinked down at the tiny blonde, who was holding out his bunny with such an earnest expression that I couldn't find it in my heart to say no. A soft sigh escaped and I knelt down to receive Usa-chan.
"It's a deal, Honey-senpai," I grinned, "But in return you have to tell me what you think of my new strawberry tarts."
"Deal." He nodded firmly.
He proceeded to grab Mei's hand and pull her towards his table, leaving me to watch them go.
Our gazes met as she was pulled away. I raised an eyebrow and her gaze flickered towards the canaries who were watching our interaction with stiff upper lips. My mouth twisted and she sighed. This transpired in a matter of seconds, but her message was undoubtedly clear.
I'll give them hell for you.
A small grin possessed me. They had no idea what they were in for.
Turning away, I glanced at the refreshment table which was – thank Kami – deserted. I was in one of those moods where I was so overjoyed, that I did a totally embarrassing and completely shameless happy dance. Mentally of course. My dancing was just as bad as my singing – if not worse.
As I wandered over to the table, my gaze swept over the Club room. There weren't as many girls about as I suspected there normally would be. They were giggling away with each other, in their usual airhead way, completely oblivious to everyone else besides the Hosts who were entertaining them. A couple of the girls glanced up, barely concealed contempt in their eyes.
I pulled a face at them. Their glares melted into affronted looks and huffs, after which they simply turned away.
With a snort that exuded a grandiose aura of feminine grace, I focused on my task of tea brewing, grumbling and cursing under my breath about the idiotic girls that attended Ouran with their stupid smirks and their monstrous skirts and crazy diets and contempt and their stupid judgy eyes that made me just wanna…grrr.
"Miss Tanaka."
"MEEP!" I jumped, knocking my tea cup over with a squeal before tripping over my own two feet.
I'm sorry to say, ladies and gents, I almost perfectly achieved the art of faceplanting after my epic squealing and knocking over tea. Or I would have, had the same person who had startled me in the first place not captured me just inches from the ground.
If I had to admit one thing about the boy I loved to entertain a love-hate relationship with on a daily basis it would be that he has lovely arms. I mean from a distance they seem kind of sinewy, as if they were made specifically for grace rather than power. But when you're being held in them, boy, it is an entirely different story. You could tell he was stronger than he appeared and I'm not talking I-occasionally-lift-a-few-weights-at-the-gym strong, I'm talking more like bench-press-two-of-me-with-one-arm strong. Even the thought made me want to swoon.
Enjoy it while it lasts, my friend. Inner-Nali keeled over, giggling like a giddy schoolgirl.
"Kyoya." I blinked. My words halted in my throat and I dumbly stared up at his cool grey eyes and the half-amused smirk that was playing on his lips.
"Miss Tanaka," His smugness became more apparent with my silence and a teasing light twinkled in the depths of his gaze, "It appears we continue to meet in the strangest of circumstances."
His sense of humour is better than mine. I gaped up at him like a fish, continuously blinking in surprise at the manifestation of Kyoya's humour.
Yes, yes it is. Inner-Nali paused at this, before returning to the matter at hand, But that's not what's currently important. Gods above, speak to boy!
"I…uh…You do always seem to be…uhm…picking up stuff when I'm around," A small smile stretched across my face as Inner-Nali cheered at our newfound ability to speak, "And I thought I told you to call me Nali."
"It seems as if you must tell me at least once more, Miss Tanaka." He replied, sunlight catching on his glasses.
You know in the movies when the romantic couple have a moment and the world seems to slow down around them as they gaze soppily into each other's eyes. Well sorry to burst your bubble but that didn't happen. Time didn't freeze, I couldn't hear dramatic music playing in the background and well, it didn't rain so there was no pathetic fallacy of any kind.
It was a strange moment.
Well, we are still kind of hovering just above the ground. Inner-Nali pointed out.
"Uhm, Kyoya, you can let go of me now."
"Are you sure?" He raised a single eyebrow, his lips twitching.
"Ye-ARGH!" I squealed clutching at his shirt as he released his hold on me momentarily and allowing gravity to pull me closer to the ground. "Don't do that!"
"You said to let go of you."
"You know perfectly well what I meant, Ootori." I scowled, now pointedly ignoring the feeling of his arms underneath me.
"For all your complaints about the use of your second name, Miss Tanaka," He replied righting me quickly. "You do entertain the use of mine frequently."
I didn't bestow him the satisfaction of a reply, instead focusing on attempting to gain back what little balance I had as I stumbled forward. When I was sure that there was no risk of further embarrassment in the form of tripping over my own two feet once again, I preoccupied myself by cleaning up all the things I had managed to knock over with my swan like grace. Fortunately for me, I hadn't spilled any of the tea or knock over any of the cakes.
Haruhi's story of her debt struck fear into the heart of my practically empty purse.
When I was sure everything was unharmed and back in its orginal place with nothing but the damage done to my pride, I glanced slyly over at Kyoya, who had remained silent.
"Nobody saw that, did they?" I whispered conspiratorially.
The weight of Kyoya's gaze stabbed into my side until I glanced up. His mouth was twisted into a smirk as he leaned towards me.
"I don't think so, Miss Tanaka. Your dignity is quite safe." He whispered back.
A relieved sigh escaped me and I set about returning to my tea when I realised the freakishly tall boy had yet to move.
"Would you like a cup?" I found myself asking without thought. Word vomit, Inner-Nali jeered from the back of my mind. "Don't worry, it's not poisoned."
It's not poisoned? Inner-Nali mimicked incredulously. Out of all the things you could've said to that lovely piece of man-meat and that's the best you could come up with.
I rolled my eyes at my Inner-Self. Despite Inner-Nali's taunts however, my slightly strange word vomit had an almost calming effect on Kyoya and he nodded slightly.
"So, what brings you to these parts on such a lovely day like this?" I asked after a bout of sufficiently awkward silence, "I would've bet my bottom yen on Blondie monopolising any of your available free time in Host Club on one of his hare-brained Host schemes."
"Contrary to your belief, Miss Tanaka, not all of my time is spent with Tamaki Suoh." Kyoya replied as I poured two cups of tea.
Merde, merde, you've insulted him, back up! Retreat! Inner Nali flailed wildly. I sweatdropped slightly.
"You did spend most of the weekend with him and the other Hosts, did you not?"
Kyoya considered my question for a few moments and I watched him carefully. I mean studiously…no…uh I didn't watch him at all. Not even the slightest, itty bitty peek.
You're fooling no one, honey. Inner-Nali said.
"So you heard about our expedition to the Fujioka Household." He stated clearly, accepting the cup I offered him.
Expedition!? Household?! My eyes almost bugged out in surprise.
"I knew that the other Hosts had met Ranka but I didn't know you had descended upon her household. I can only imagine how pleased she was about that," I trailed off, taking a sip from my tea, "How did Blondie fare?"
"I would say as well as could be expected." Kyoya replied evenly.
"In other words, Ranka hates him and Blondie is only too desperate to prove himself worthy of Haruhi's love."
The boy beside me shot me a calculated yet appraising look as I looked up at him questioningly.
"So I'm not the only one to have noticed that." He spoke finally, a small smirk playing on his lips once more.
"Not by a long shot, Ootori." I grinned widely. It was the kind of grin that came from real amusement which causes your eyes to wrinkle at the corners and stretches across your unwilling features to the point of unattractiveness. It shrunk slightly when I realised exactly what I was doing.
When my gaze swept back to Kyoya I caught him looking at me with a strange expression, and a riproaring fire red blush swept across my face. The gooey feeling of speechlessness that had settled over me on our first meeting washed over me and it took several moments to shake it off.
"I uhm," I coughed awkwardly, "How's the tea?"
It was evident that Kyoya was clearly not suffering from the same level of awkward embarrassment that I was and his reply came easily.
"Satisfactory." He replied a teasing smirk playing on his lips and I huffed.
"You know I pegged you as more of a coffee kind of guy, rather than a flavoured tea man." I stated scowling.
"I enjoy both equally." He informed me, either not picking up on my huffing or choosing to ignore it in a gentlemanly manner. "This just happens one of my few favourites."
I glanced down at the Milk tea that swirled lazily around in the mug perched in my grasp.
"One of your few favourites?" I questioned curiously, "Does that mean you have an all-time favourite?"
He shot me a curious look and I grinned back widely. Kyoya sighed, taking a sip of his tea as he pondered over the question. He shifted slightly and flexed his arms. Not that I was paying any attention what so ever to his arms. Oh no, I was just greatly interested in the answer he was going to give. Yep that was it, in a nutshell.
Inner-Nali facepalmed.
"If I had to say, it would probably be Chamomile." He answered glancing over at me, "But I also enjoy peppermint. And you, Miss Tanaka?"
I nodded at his answer briefly, until I realised that he had directed a question at me.
"Huh? Me?" I paused slightly, "As in what is my favourite?"
A small smile crossed his lips as he nodded encouragingly.
"Uhm well, I like orange and jasmine, but my favourite would have to be lemon and ginger." I grinned, my mind wandering, "My brother used to make it the perfect way from scratch. He had a weird knack for knowing when I needed a cup with his special touches. Brotherly instinct I guess."
It was funny how Hideaki always seemed to know when I needed his magic tea. And I wasn't the only one who was entranced by his mad tea brewing skills, girls flocked in from every corner of the world to taste Hideaki's tea at Yori's Bakery. Who needed pickup lines when the girls were swooning over your tea?
"Used to?"
Kyoya pulled me from my reverie with a sharp shock and I froze when I realised exactly what I had said. I cursed my mouth's ability to run away with itself and quickly reverted my gaze to my tea, which was rapidly cooling. At first, a part of me was surprised that talking about my brother had come so easily to me, without even a hint of sorrow or a sense of loss. But a much larger part knew there was something about talking to Kyoya that had made it almost easier to think about, not to mention talk about.
"He passed away, just over a year ago."
"I didn't realise." Kyoya's words were softly spoken and I looked over at him with a sad smile.
"No it's ok. I don't really like to talk about it."
A soft silence swept over us. I kept my gaze glued to the sketchpad on my lap, wary of even a brief glance towards the stoic boy at my side.
I hated the way people's attitudes towards me changed when they learned about my brother or my father's death. It was almost as if pity was destined to come hand in hand with bereavement. And I hated it. Because the loss of loved ones should not be a vital part of the way people viewed me.
Now, at that very moment in time, I was more afraid that Kyoya may no longer view me the way he had just moments before. Friendly, unguardedly and I must admit with a little bafflement.
"Ahem." A soft nudge startled me and shattered my train of thought. My gaze shot up.
Kyoya was looking down at me – curse his freakish height – the host smile I loathed etched onto his face and guards in place as he stood like a symbol of politeness and propriety. For a moment, I believed I had lost that openness and my hand itched with the need to wipe that stupid strained smile from his face.
"Miss Tanaka, would you do me the honour of accompanying me to Ochaya's one afternoon?" The teahouse? Inner Nali questioned. I blinked at him silently, "Their tea may never live up to your brother's, but I'm certain it will be enjoyable nonetheless."
I regarded him hesitantly. And then, a soft smile spread across my face.
"I think I would like that." I replied. "And how many times must I tell you to call me by my first blooming name?"
Kyoya exhaled a half chuckle at my pout.
"At least once more it seems, Miss Tanaka."
Upon his words I looped my arm through the crook in his strong elbow, an action which seemed to momentarily surprise him and he shot me a guarded look. I simply gave him a cheesy grin and shrugged innocently.
Maybe, just maybe, I hadn't lost him.
He led us away from our perch and towards the table he had occupied earlier on. As we walked arm in arm, a part of me pondered over how far our relationship had come from our perilous beginnings to this seemingly peaceful moment.
"You know, Ootori, you're not quite what I expected you to be like."
"And what exactly did you expect me to be like, Miss Tanaka?"
I thought back to all those weeks ago when I believed him to be nothing more than a strange shadowy counterpart to the loudness of Tamaki.
…An image of our homeroom teacher calling on the creepy dude flashed through my head, and I'm sure I distinctly remembered some other blonde dude glomping him and some other girls fainting before I was distracted by the chocolate bar I found at the bottom of my bag…
…I spun to face cold grey eyes behind slim glasses, perfectly combed black hair and a calm expression. He was handsome, that was true.
Somewhere in my head, I was melting into a puddle of unresponsive goo…
… Kyoya remained silent, studying me with his cool, calculating eyes. He towered over me, so I had to stretch a little to see him properly. You'd have to be a fool to not instantly recognise that the Ootori boy in front of me came from money. It was subtle things, but things that were easy to recognise. It could've been the way he held himself, or the way he looked. It could've been the intelligence that swam in the depths of his cool grey eyes….
"Miss Tanaka?"
…In reality, I was quickly realising that everything Kyoya Ootori did baffled me. As much as I wanted to solve the mystery behind the mask he wore, I wondered, albeit a little guardedly, if the end result would really be worth the effort that would be required…
… He nodded, and I watched silently as the rain slid from his hair and down his face. There was a pause and my eyes met his.
There really was no real way to describe what happened next, it was like the world melted away under his gaze. It was like communicating in another language, like peeling away the layers of an onion to reach that really eye stinging middle. It was equivalent to solving another one of his irritating sides. It was just plain weird, awkward but somehow strangely comforting…
"I thought you were a little weird to be honest." The words came easily, as if I had been preparing my answer for a lot longer than he had been preparing his question. "Infuriating to say the least. But there was something else. Something I've yet to put my finger on."
… Kyoya Ootori was a paradox, several layers of dark brooding wrapped in an irresistible sweet layer of wealth and charm…
There was hesitant pause before I spoke once more, hazel eyes meeting a cool grey gaze.
"You're a puzzling person, Kyoya."
"Puzzling, you say."
I nodded, glancing up at him shyly. He appeared to be wrapping his mind over my response, his usually clear and sharp gaze clouded and a slight downward tug tilted at the corner of his lips. And then he opened his mouth to speak once more.
"Then I look forward to the day when I am no longer so."
Shooting him a sly look, my grin widened.
"So do I."