She realized he was real when she realized he was saving her. The Jake in her dreams would be kissing her passionately, not performing CPR. She moved her hand, slightly, unclenching the fist she didn't remember making. She touched his cheek, gently, hardly able to see, everything fuzzy. She could make out other shapes, behind Jake, other voices buzzing.
"You will suck the life out of me"
Elle gasped, as Jake kissed her, there in front of everyone, his lips reassuring, enveloping her own. She didn't know how, but she remembered to kiss him back, and it felt so right. Even as she was half-dead, kissing him made her feel more alive than she had since the last time they kissed. She could feel the emotions, raw, they burned deep down into her core. She could feel the love, the hurt, the fear of losing her, the joy of not.
"And bury it,
I won't let you bury it"
She could feel the kiss get more passionate, more lustful. Elle ran her fingers through his hair, loving the feel of it, squeezing it between her fingers.
"I won't let you smother it,
I won't let you murder it"
Elle got confused as she felt Jake pull away, but she saw someone yank him off of her. Carlisle. She didn't understand why, had his fatherly instincts made him do so? She heard his voice, tidbits of his conversation. Carlisle was fuming, it was the first time she had heard him so angry!
"...Careful! Just... out of water, she needs air! Don't you kill her, not letting her have any air!" he nearly shouted.
Then, she could feel the air ripping through her lungs, she breathed it in deeply, concentrated on it. Elle could feel Edward in her mind, it felt like he was stabbing at her brain. "OW!" she said, coughing. "Edward stop"
"Our time is running out,
Our time is running out.
You can't push it underground,
You can't stop it screaming out"
Elle whimpered in pain, holding her head. She felt comething clawing around in it, getting information from her. "STOP!" she yelled, kicking and flailing insanely.
Edward stared at her, knowing what was happening, but not being the cause of it. Jasper could feel her pain, and was tearlessly sobbing, trying to comfort her to no avail.
"How did it come to this"
Elle writhed in pain, spasming and crying out, every piece of her consumed by the sharp pains.
Another Muse song, Hysteria, tickled at the back of her head, she payed attention to only it, as she felt someones hands checking her head for cuts or lacerations, ro even the tiniest of bump. She hummed, then began even singing aloud, trying to make the pain go away.
"It's bugging me, grating me,
and twisting me around.
Yeah I'm endlessly caving in,
and turning inside out"
Elle's pain was vanishing, it felt like her head was normal again, no more invasion. It bothered Edward that there was one, nothing had hit her, he had a bad feeling someone had done that to Elle, but who?
Jake picked Elle up bridal style, carefully. He looked to Bella, Edward, Jasper, Alice (who had tipped him off {at school, no less} to the jump), and Carlisle. He slightly smiled. He walked the entire three miles up the beach, then the three miles to get back to her car. He walked slowly, not running, staring into those blue orbs. They could have been closed forever. It broke his heart. "Why did you do it?" he asked, hoping it wasn't because of him.
Elle's arms wrapped around his shoulders gently. "I have no idea." she whispered, not having the heart to tell him the truth. She had nearly killed herself because of him. He put her in her car, wrapping her in a blanket she'd brought to go to the beach and lay down on. He turned on her heater, and started the car. The Pierce's "Kill, Kill, Kill" came blasting through the speakers.
"What were ya doin' in my dream last night, honey?
I thought I locked that door up tight, Baby.
Well it's a mystery to my how ya keep on slippin' in my mind.
And it's downright dirty that this old wound won't heal with time"
Jake shuddered, knowing she had been listening to this song, probably crying over him. He avoided looking at her, so fragile, so breakable. "Where to?" he asked over the song.
"My house..." Elle said back, so quiet he almost missed it. He tried to keep the frown off his face, he had hoped she would stay at the Cullen's, but she d't want to go back there. Not after making them so worried. He left her at her house, running back to the Cullen's.
Elle automatically went to her bathroom, going into the shower, turning it on hot, letting it soak into her bones until it hurt to stand in it, and she couldn't bear it anymore. She got out, a cloud of steam surrounding her. Elle wiped the mirror, and let out a startled yelp. A boy with blue eyes, and spiky blonde hair stared into her own blue eyes. She turned quickly, but no one was there. She started to panic, looking into the mirror. He was gone.
Elle buried her head in her hands, sobbing from her own insanity. The words of Kill,Kill,Kill flooded her mind, it hurt her to think about them.
"Well, you could wash my brain,
You could tear out my heart,
But I would never forget you (never)
You could change my name, I could make a new start.
But I would never forget you, ever.
And its a kill kill killin' me Yeah It's a killkillkillkill killin' me That im still in love with you"
She sang out loud, not scared of hypnotizing anyone with her angellic tones, her voice clear as bells and beautiful as roses.
"Just when I think, I've got you in safe keepin'
That's when your memory, it comes 'round creepin.
Well, it's an ache I can't shake,
It's creeped down deep down to my core.
But Babe I can't fake it, I can't take this heartbreak anymore"
She sobbed again, uncontrollably, and hummed the chorus. Why didn't he want her? She pulled a reinforced steel razorblade off of the sink, not caring as it sliced her finger. The smell of her own blood reminded her it had been quite some time since she hunted, but she didn't care. She took the blade to her leg, the whole thing going in, almost unable to pull it out.
The blood gushed everywhere, she was in a puddle of it. It was filthy blood, she wanted it out of her. Why was she made? A half-breed, not alive or dead! She was a fucking impurity, a blemish on the face of the earth. She ripped at the naked skin all over her body, cutting her legs, her stomach, her arms, her breasts. Anything she could reach.
She could feel her body growing weak from blood loss, she could see black. She started to half sing, half scream, the words of the song, through her sobbing.
"I asked you please to leave my heart,
But you refused to go!
I can't take this pain much longer!
You insist on teaching me what I already know,
Absence made this heart grow fonder"
She heard movement in her house, heard a banging on the bathroom door. Then, she was out like a candle.
"You will suck the life out of me"
Elle gasped, as Jake kissed her, there in front of everyone, his lips reassuring, enveloping her own. She didn't know how, but she remembered to kiss him back, and it felt so right. Even as she was half-dead, kissing him made her feel more alive than she had since the last time they kissed. She could feel the emotions, raw, they burned deep down into her core. She could feel the love, the hurt, the fear of losing her, the joy of not.
"And bury it,
I won't let you bury it"
She could feel the kiss get more passionate, more lustful. Elle ran her fingers through his hair, loving the feel of it, squeezing it between her fingers.
"I won't let you smother it,
I won't let you murder it"
Elle got confused as she felt Jake pull away, but she saw someone yank him off of her. Carlisle. She didn't understand why, had his fatherly instincts made him do so? She heard his voice, tidbits of his conversation. Carlisle was fuming, it was the first time she had heard him so angry!
"...Careful! Just... out of water, she needs air! Don't you kill her, not letting her have any air!" he nearly shouted.
Then, she could feel the air ripping through her lungs, she breathed it in deeply, concentrated on it. Elle could feel Edward in her mind, it felt like he was stabbing at her brain. "OW!" she said, coughing. "Edward stop"
"Our time is running out,
Our time is running out.
You can't push it underground,
You can't stop it screaming out"
Elle whimpered in pain, holding her head. She felt comething clawing around in it, getting information from her. "STOP!" she yelled, kicking and flailing insanely.
Edward stared at her, knowing what was happening, but not being the cause of it. Jasper could feel her pain, and was tearlessly sobbing, trying to comfort her to no avail.
"How did it come to this"
Elle writhed in pain, spasming and crying out, every piece of her consumed by the sharp pains.
Another Muse song, Hysteria, tickled at the back of her head, she payed attention to only it, as she felt someones hands checking her head for cuts or lacerations, ro even the tiniest of bump. She hummed, then began even singing aloud, trying to make the pain go away.
"It's bugging me, grating me,
and twisting me around.
Yeah I'm endlessly caving in,
and turning inside out"
Elle's pain was vanishing, it felt like her head was normal again, no more invasion. It bothered Edward that there was one, nothing had hit her, he had a bad feeling someone had done that to Elle, but who?
Jake picked Elle up bridal style, carefully. He looked to Bella, Edward, Jasper, Alice (who had tipped him off {at school, no less} to the jump), and Carlisle. He slightly smiled. He walked the entire three miles up the beach, then the three miles to get back to her car. He walked slowly, not running, staring into those blue orbs. They could have been closed forever. It broke his heart. "Why did you do it?" he asked, hoping it wasn't because of him.
Elle's arms wrapped around his shoulders gently. "I have no idea." she whispered, not having the heart to tell him the truth. She had nearly killed herself because of him. He put her in her car, wrapping her in a blanket she'd brought to go to the beach and lay down on. He turned on her heater, and started the car. The Pierce's "Kill, Kill, Kill" came blasting through the speakers.
"What were ya doin' in my dream last night, honey?
I thought I locked that door up tight, Baby.
Well it's a mystery to my how ya keep on slippin' in my mind.
And it's downright dirty that this old wound won't heal with time"
Jake shuddered, knowing she had been listening to this song, probably crying over him. He avoided looking at her, so fragile, so breakable. "Where to?" he asked over the song.
"My house..." Elle said back, so quiet he almost missed it. He tried to keep the frown off his face, he had hoped she would stay at the Cullen's, but she d't want to go back there. Not after making them so worried. He left her at her house, running back to the Cullen's.
Elle automatically went to her bathroom, going into the shower, turning it on hot, letting it soak into her bones until it hurt to stand in it, and she couldn't bear it anymore. She got out, a cloud of steam surrounding her. Elle wiped the mirror, and let out a startled yelp. A boy with blue eyes, and spiky blonde hair stared into her own blue eyes. She turned quickly, but no one was there. She started to panic, looking into the mirror. He was gone.
Elle buried her head in her hands, sobbing from her own insanity. The words of Kill,Kill,Kill flooded her mind, it hurt her to think about them.
"Well, you could wash my brain,
You could tear out my heart,
But I would never forget you (never)
You could change my name, I could make a new start.
But I would never forget you, ever.
And its a kill kill killin' me Yeah It's a killkillkillkill killin' me That im still in love with you"
She sang out loud, not scared of hypnotizing anyone with her angellic tones, her voice clear as bells and beautiful as roses.
"Just when I think, I've got you in safe keepin'
That's when your memory, it comes 'round creepin.
Well, it's an ache I can't shake,
It's creeped down deep down to my core.
But Babe I can't fake it, I can't take this heartbreak anymore"
She sobbed again, uncontrollably, and hummed the chorus. Why didn't he want her? She pulled a reinforced steel razorblade off of the sink, not caring as it sliced her finger. The smell of her own blood reminded her it had been quite some time since she hunted, but she didn't care. She took the blade to her leg, the whole thing going in, almost unable to pull it out.
The blood gushed everywhere, she was in a puddle of it. It was filthy blood, she wanted it out of her. Why was she made? A half-breed, not alive or dead! She was a fucking impurity, a blemish on the face of the earth. She ripped at the naked skin all over her body, cutting her legs, her stomach, her arms, her breasts. Anything she could reach.
She could feel her body growing weak from blood loss, she could see black. She started to half sing, half scream, the words of the song, through her sobbing.
"I asked you please to leave my heart,
But you refused to go!
I can't take this pain much longer!
You insist on teaching me what I already know,
Absence made this heart grow fonder"
She heard movement in her house, heard a banging on the bathroom door. Then, she was out like a candle.