SilentLightsintheDarkness

"You know something..."

I jumped, and turned to see Ashe walking up behind me, her eyes on the mansion the whole time.

"Pence told me we were going to check the mansion out tomorrow. It is the most suspicious place." she said, looking over at me and giving me a small smile. She looked back up to a window on the second floor.

"Right..." I said, looking down.

She leaned down to try to look in my eyes, "Even Seifer was gonna help." she said.

I looked at her in disbeleif, "Seifer!?"

Her head sunk in her shoulders, gave me an it-wasn't-my-idea-and-it's-been-put-in-my-hands-to-break-it-to-you look, and shrugged. "But what's even worse, it's that Hayner asked him to!" she said, clenching her fists, and pretending to punch Hayner.

I was quiet, but then asked, "So, what're we looking for?"

She grinned, and pointed to the window on the second floor she was examining earlier. It was the one on the left. "The rumor is, that there's a girl you can see in the second floor window. Even though no one has lived her forever."

I looked up, and watched carefully for a girl.

"You know," said Ashe, "it... sort of reminded me of Namine."

"Ashe."

I heard Namine's voice, and the next thing I knew, Ashe looked like she'd seen a ghost. She gasped, and looked straight ahead.

Then, we were in this, weird white room...

--!--

Ashe-Namine's PoV

W-what's going on?

It's okay, Ashe. It's just me.

Why... are you in my body? HOW are you in my body!?

I'm using it for a little while. I can't be seen, and... you and Roxas have to know.

Namine?

Don't worry. Nothing bad will happen to you. Just... some heartache. When you know the truth.

--!--

Ashe's PoV

Namine was inside my body. It's like... she's a ghost, or something. More like a wonder. How does she know so much?

"Roxas..." I said. Well, not really I said, but Namine said, using my voice. Her voice sounded like to was combined with mine. It was funny, since I never knew how soft and delicate my voice could be. Except, ya know, when I was serious. But when did that ever happen?

In the black room with the pod... when I told Roxas I wouldn't forgive him. And, when i'm alone with him, I guess I talk pretty seriously. It's weird, how differently he makes me act.

"Namine?" Roxas said, turning back to us.

"Oh, Ashe." he said, walking over to me. His eye caught a picture. "This is... me? And Axel's here, too. And... who's that?" he asked, pointing to another person who was from behind, sticking their head between his and Axel's shoulders and holding onto their outside hands.

"Me." Namine had me say, with her gentle smile.

"You?" he asked, taking a good look at the drawing. "This is you, Ashe? But... it doesn't look like you." he said.

"That's because... i'm different than I was before." Namine stuttered from behind my eyes.

Roxas seemed confused, but looked on. "But Axel's here, too..." he said, voice trailing off.

"You ARE best friends." I said with extra emphasis.

He laughed a bit, "Very funny."

"Don't you wanna know the truth," said I, "about who you really are?"

Roxas shook his head when he spoke, "No one knows me better than me."

"Of course." I said, smiling Namine's sad smile.

"But..." Roxas started. "I don't get what's been happening lately."

"You know these three, don't you?" I asked.

"Yeah..." said Roxas. He seemed, a bit hesitant what with all that was going on. "Sora, Donald and Goofy. They're from the dreams."

"About a year ago, some things happened. And I had to take apart the memories chained together in Sora's heart. But now, I'm putting them all back exactly the way they were. It's taken me a long time, but pretty soon, Sora will be his old self again." Namine explained. She seemed a bit sad, about that Sora boy... "The process has been effecting you too, Roxas."

"You mean... the dreams?" he asked.

"Yes." I answered flatly. "You and Sora are connected."

Roxas stared at me strangely. "Ashe?" he whispered.

I walked closer to him, "And... in order for Sora to become completely whole again..." I took his hand on my own free will and looked at him straight in the eyes. "He needs you."

"Me?" he asked, "What for?"

"You hold half of what he is." I said, looking down and closing my eyes tight. I didn't want to say these things I didn't know to him. I had no control of the words, and I couldn't even think of them before they came out of my mouth. But at the same time, those words were floating aimlessly around in my head. But Namine, was making me piece them all together myself. I opened my eyes and looked into his, "He needs you."

What I didn't know, was that he wasn't looking into my eyes. The ones he were seeing... were a glowing azure haze. He moved closer to my face, squinting his eyes. When he pulled back, he didn't say 'Ashe'. He said,

"Namine?"

--!--

We were sitting across from each other on a long white table, in a big white room. I wasn't seeing in negatives again, because Roxas' colors were completely normal.

"Namine... who are you?" he asked.

I held up my hand, "Please," Namine said for me, "keep calling me Ashe. It would be best... if some people didn't know where Namine was..."

"But still, who are you?" he asked again.

"I'm a witch." she answered. "With power over Sora's memories and those around him."

"A witch?" asked Roxas.

I put my hand on my chest, "That's what DiZ called me..." I said. "But... I don't know why I have this power. I just do. I'm not even sure if there's a right way for me to use it."

"Hmm..." Roxas said, and shook his head, smiling, "I can't help you there."

I closed my eyes and returned the smile, giving a small laugh.

"It's funny... suddenly I feel like... I don't know myself at all." he said, more seriously than when he started. "I guess I would like to know. What do you know about me, that I don't?"

"You..."

No.

I tried to make her not say those words. That would kill him, who wants to know that--

"You were never supposed to exist, Roxas." she said.

I looked down and closed my eyes, Namine holding back my tears for me. In my head, I saw her upset, too.

"...What?" he asked, staring at me. "How could you even say such a thing? Even if it were true?"

Give me back my heart.

"I'm sorry..." I said, taking back my own voice, a single tear falling down my face. "I guess some things really are better left unsaid." and I casually wiped my tear away.

He tried to look for my face, but I think I would've rather stayed there with my head down forever, than have him see me cry. I even regretted having Hayner see me cry. Just imagine if Roxas...

--!--

"Roxas! Roxas!!" I shouted, trying to get his attention. I snapped in front of his face, since he was still mezmerized by that window.

"Hunh?" he asked, looking down at me.

"Did you see her!?" I asked excitedly, "Did you see Namine??"

"Yeah." he said, and he pointed to the left second floor window. "Watch the window-- closely."

It was quiet while we examined the mysterious Namine window. "I don't... I don't see her anymore!" I pouted, and Roxas watched me as I spun around really fast and sat down indian style.

"She's right--!" Roxas was pointing to the window excitedly behind him. He seemed disappointed when he looked back. "not there..." he said, joining me on the ground. I was playing with a snail when he sat down.

"Well, I guess we should head back to the usual spot. Everyone's already there waiting for us." I said, picking up my snail and setting him in my palm. "But first..." I said, "Ice cream?"

He smiled as I offered him my free hand, "Okay. We'll get some ice cream."

--!--

"Hey guys, how'd it go?" Olette asked as we walked in, holding Confetti Cake ice cream bars, since Roxas and I had eaten all of my Sea Salt ices the day before...

"We thought we saw her," Roxas said, looking at me with a big grin.

"But it turned out to be a curtain flapping in the wind." I finnished, looking back at him. We both smiled, and looked at Pence and Olette, who were a bit confused themselves. "I was suprised a place that old even had curtains!" I said.

"Must've been a draft, or something making it move." said Roxas.

We both laughed, and our friends looked at us as if we were crazy. Making jokes about an old house with flapping curtains? Lame-o.

"Well, I firgured as much. The report's already done!" Olette said, giving my notebook back. "Though with those notes, it wasn't easy."

I smiled and showed her a peace sign with my fingers. "We cut down the poor trees for paper, so you need to use all of it to make sure their lives aren't wasted!" I said.

Roxas tried to hold in a laugh, but a snort came out his nose as he looked at me.

I elbowed him playfully, and Olette spoke up for the sake of her and Pence's sanity. "So, wanna go find Hayner?" she suggested.

"Hm, not really." I said, rocking back and fourth on my heels.

Pence crossed his arms. "Hey, I thought you said that you made up with Hayner?"

I stopped and looked around. "I knooow..." I said in a little kid voice, "but that doesn't mean I don't like fighting with him. Doesn't it sound weird when we aren't fighting?" I asked.

"No," Roxas answered, "It sounds peaceful. But more quiet than peaceful, since you aren't talking for once." he joked. Olette and Pence laughed.

"Buuuurn!" Pence cried.

"You're one to talk!" I said, putting my hands on my hips and staring at Roxas. "Remember the first summer I came here and you were obsessed where I came from? You would constantly ask me about where I was from, even though I never remembered! Around you, I never got a moments peace."

"Hey, hey, hey!" he said, pretending to be cross with me by wagging his finger. "That was a long time ago. Curious Roxas is dead... like chivalry, because I kicked your butt in the Struggle and won us the awesome crystals!" he shot back.

I snapped my fingers, and my diamond orb appeared in my palm. "Got me there."

"Whoa!" Pence and Roxas said, staring at my hand.

"How'd you do that?" Pence asked.

Olette just laughed, since she knew my secret.

"It's what you learn when you watch Criss Angel." I said, showing my crystal to my adoring audience. "You know, I can levitate a cup, too."

Olette smiled and rolled her eyes as Pence cried, "Levitate it!?"

"You know, we only have 2 more days left together." said Olette.

"Huh?" asked Roxas, a bit confused.

"Summer vacation, remember?"

I elbowed Roxas and smiled. "Don't tell me you thought we were on Spring break this whole time!"

"Oh, right." he said.

"C'mon guys, let's to go and get Hayner. He's probably at the station." Olette said.

Pence started stuttering and looking at my hand, "B-but I wanna see Ashe leviatate something!" Olette giggled and pushed him out of the usual spot like Hayner pushed Roxas into the train.

When they left, Roxas looked at me as I was rocking on my heels again. "You put your thumb in the back of a styrofoam cup and shove it in people's faces, don't you?" he asked.

I started walking and he followed, "A magician never reveals her secrets." I said, putting my index finger to my lips.

"But yeah, you're right."

--!--

Just like Olette predicted, Hayner was at the station tower. I knew those two were meant for each other!

I came up from behind him, and took his ice cream and took a lick. It was a Sea Salt ice! How could I resist? I handed it back to him and sat down. "What's up?" I asked, wiping my mouth.

He glared at me, but then smiled and put me in a head lock with his ice-cream holding arm. "Just admiring our excellent summer vacation!" he replied, as I tried to remove my head from his arm. When I got loose, I scuttled back, and I pushed Olette to where I was sitting so she'd be next to Hayner. Pence took the spot next to her, and I took my usual spot by Roxas.

"Tomorrow we search the town." Hayner said,

Pence kicked a rock off of the tower and watch it fall. "Next day's the fair."

"The last day of summer!" Olette said, sadly crossing her arms.

"Don't say that!" Hayner said to her, "You'll give me an ulcer!"

"Not if you explode from all the ice cream first." Pence said.

We all laughed when we saw Hayner stop eating his ice cream, and Olette and Pence laughed even harder when he tossed it to me. I looked at Roxas, and he looked pretty sad. What was going on with him?

--!--

"Why did you show them the train?" the man in black, Ansem, said.

"Because they missed the trip to the beach." the one in red bandaged said.

"Hmm." said Ansem, "that's almost kind of you."

"Now... what about you?" he asked Ansem. "Are the holes in yur memory starting to fill in?"

"Yes. The haze is clearing." Ansem said, walking to a seat across from the red man.

"The same thing is happening to everyone who's had ties to Sora. Soon, to them, he'll be like a friend who's gone away for a year." the red man explained.

Ansem took a seat. "I've waited and now I want to know. What is it that you want?" he asked.

The red man looked up and Ansem seriously. "Revenge."

"Revenge..." Ansem repeated.

"Now for the finnishing touches." the red man said, getting Ansem's attention again. "We must dispose of Namine. She's done a splendid job with Sora but it's high time she disappeared. Roxas isn't the only one who wasn't supposed to exist. Take care of it Ansem." he said.

"You mean ----?" Ansem stepped back once, confused as to why he couldn't say that particular name.

The red man stopped Ansem from talking by holding up his hand. "You can't say it yet." he said. "I'm afraid that name has been stolen for data for the Organization's gain. But do not worry, you'll say it again eventually." and laughed a bit.

Ansem was silent. "I understand. I'll get her, too."

--!--

"Take care of her."

--!--

"You... you saved me?"

"Y-yeah. I guess I did..."

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it. I'm Roxas, and don't worry, i'll take care of you."

--!--

"Why? Why do you have the Keyblade!?"

"Shut up."

"Roxas, don't!"

--!--

"What are you doing ----?"

"Stop fighting, Roxas. Don't you want to be together forever?"

"Are you-- are you crying?"

"I don't know why... but you can make me feel. I'm whole when I'm around you."

"----?"

--!--

"Roxas!"

I shot up in my bed, and I wiped my forehead. I looked over, and Axel looked at me like he enjoyed watching me squirm.

"It's about time you woke up." he said, standing up from my yellow pod chair that he liked so much.

"I..." I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them tightly. "I know you, don't I?" I asked.

He scratched the side of his head with his chakrams and raised an eyebrow. "Well, i've been talking to you all week. If you don't recognize me, i'm gonna be really sad."

I shook my head. "No, no! I mean... in a place other than here. Somewhere far away... we were friends, right?"

He looked straight into my eyes completely amazed. "So you really do know? How did you learn that so quickly? You're premoni-"

I cut him off, "Oh yeah! I think I might've had a premonition yesterday." I told him.

He seemed to have mellowed out, a guy like him has to keep his cool, right? "You don't say, eh?" he said, putting his finger on his chin. "Maybe you do remember."

"Remember what?" I asked, taking the covers off of my body and turning torwards Axel.

"If you see something when you look at this, it's in the back of your mind somewhere." he said, tossing me a tall crown-shaped card.

I caught it, and looked at it. It was of Roxas and I, but I had my hair up. No wonder Roxas didn't recognize me in Namine's picture. I've always worn my hair down, but in this black coat I look completely--

"Ah--!"

That pain, the one in my head. It was happening again!

A premonition!

And then, the negative vision appeared.

I looked around my room, and I got off of my bed slowly. I was afraid if I moved too fast, I might lose it.

I looked at Axel and he looked as though he had chuckled. He looked at me and said something, but I couldn't tell what he was saying. His lips were moving but no sound came out.

Does reality not exist through premonitions? Every sound I make, or someone else makes, I can't hear it. Could it be that I can only hear and see what's going to happen? Or in this case what's already happend? This consequence of being born... under a star? Axel was just making things difficult for me--

Roxas?

I saw Roxas, and he was in that long black coat like in the picture. He looked at me, and smiled. "How's it going?" he asked.

I looked around, just checking if he was talking to me, and I pointed to myself.

He nodded, "Yeah, you. Who else would I be talking to?"

"I could be better."

If Axel wasn't right behind me I would've passed out. (A/N: really, who want to pass out in front of Axel? he might end up raping you or stealing all of your stuff. plus he'd hold it against you for the rest of your life XD.)

Did another me just walk out of my own body??

"I could be whole. It sucks not to be able to feel, ya know?" Astral me said to Roxas.

He walked closer to the other me, "It's fine. I know the feeling."

Astral me gave a small laugh. "Oh yeah, I wanted to tell you something." she said.

Roxas crossed his arms, "Shoot."

She looked down, and fidgeted with her fingers much like Namine. "Well, not that you'll know why for a while, but... I'm sorry."

"Huh?" he asked. "C'mon now, why are you apologizing?" he asked. "Zero, did you have another permonition?" and he put his hands on his sides, realizing why she looked sad.

She smiled, "Well, Roxas," she said mimicking him by putting her hands on her hips. "We'll be lucky enough to be nobodys who can feel. At least for a little bit." she explained.

"You serious?" he asked.

She nodded. "We might have to wait a little while, though. We aren't allowed to right now. But when the time is close, i'll tell you."

He smiled, "This is great, Zero!" he exclaimed.

She shook her head, "But you want to be whole, too, right?" she asked.

"Yeah, of course." he answered.

"That's good to hear, cause if you weren't going to be, I wasn't either." she said, walking to the side of him.

"Don't say that," he said, "We'll have to get seperated eventually, if we're going to meet our original selves."

She giggled, "You don't know that. Maybe we'll be together forever!" she cried.

He smiled and shook his head, "We can only hope. Well, as close as we can get to hoping, that is."

They both laughed, and looked at each other for a second.

"But, what's the apology for?" he asked.

She sighed, "Well, sometime in the furture, when we can feel, I might lie to you. And I'm really regreting it."

"Don't worry," he said, "if I don't know you're lying, how can I be mad at you? Besides, I'm not even sure if I can be mad at you. If anything it would be disapointment."

"That's even worse..." she said, looking down at her feet.

Then, they both started talking, but when they realized the other one was talking, they stopped, and started and stopped again. (Know the feeling?)

"You go first." Roxas ended up saying uninterrupted.

Astral me looked around to make sure no one was around. Then she swallowed, and before I knew it, she took a deep breath and took the sides of Roxas' face and pulled him in for a kiss!

"Whoa!" I shouted, and stumbled back when I saw that. I saw Axel sitting in my pod chair again, laughing at me falling. I backed up against my bed, but I phased right through it. I pulled myself upright and sat on my heels, staring at the two in extreme disbelief. When I looked back at Astral and Roxas, she was pulling away.

Her head sunk in her neck and she shrugged, "Sorry..."

He was silent. He was just staring at her, eyes wide open.

"Xaya?"

When I looked around, everything was fading back to their normal colors, and Roxas and Astral were disappearing.

"Oh, you're starting to come back." I heard Axel say, but it was pretty muffled.

When all signs of my premonition were gone, I was still wide eyed at what had just happened.

Axel got up and looked at me confused, as if I had seen a ghost. He offered me his hand. "I didn't think you'd freak out that badly. So, what did you see?" he asked.

I shook my head violently, "N-no way! No one will ever know about that, ever!" I said, blushing feverishly.

"My God, girl." he said. "I didn't mean to freak you out that bad."

"It's okay..." I said.

He raised an eyebrow, "I never said I was sorry. I just said I never meant to freak you out."

I sighed, since I should have seen that coming.

"But anyway, did you see it?" he asked.

"See what?" I asked. "There were ALOT of things going on in there." I said, pointing to my head.

"Did you hear a certain name? Did someone close to you say a weird name, or something?" he kept asking, sounding more and more hopeful as I was thinking.

"He did say one thing..."

"What? What was it!?" he asked, shaking his fists up and down.

"He kept calling me Zero. Is that like, some nickname or something?" I asked.

Axel's enthusiasm faded, but he was still pretty happy. "Well, at least you know that." he said. "Better than nothing." He was starting to walk to my window. "Don't expect any special treatment anymore, the next time we meet, we're enemies."

I reached out for him, "What? Enemies? But we're friends, remember?" I asked, hoping he would stop.

"Of course I remember!" I yelled angrily. He turned back to me, "When you, Roxas and I were all friends, it was the best time of my life. But then he came along and he spoiled everything for all of us! I only regret he's the only thing holding us together..."

I stared at Axel sadly, wishing I hadn't said anything. "I'm sorry, Axel. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings..."

He still looked pretty mad, but his face lightened, "If I had any, maybe I could accept that. Unfortunatly, I can't." He put his foot on the window and waited to step out.

"..."

"Well!?" He said, whipping around.

I slumped back innocently, "Well, what?" I asked, hurt.

"Whenever I'm about to leave you always say or ask something to get me to stay for a little bit." he said. He was beginning to cool down.

"I already did..." I said, "and it make you mad at me..."

He put his foot off of the window sill and sat down on the edge of my bed. "C'mere." he said, waving me over to him.

I was hesitant at first to go, but I eventually walked over and stood right in front of him. Out of nowhere he lifted me and set me on his lap. "...Ashe." he said disappointed, "you're one of my best friends. I always saw you... as a little sister. We were such good friends, I thought that I should look after you. You get my back i'll get yours and all of that..." he said, scratching the back of his head.

"Axel?" I said, confused as to why he was ranting about our old friendship.

"A-Anyway..." he continued. "You, Roxas and I were the greatest team ever... but you guys... were special. More special than anyone in the Organization. You and Roxas were connected. And you guys, you knew who your other halves were. It made me really worried, that you would leave me alone. But you never did, and that had me thinking we'd be incomplete together. Instead, we were all seperated." he explained. "But, there's this guy, and he brought you and Roxas together so you would be able to become whole soon. Ya see..." he sighed. "You know what? Forget it. You can figure it out on your own. How am I supposed to help someone who can't even remember their own name?" I got up off his lap since he was standing up.

"But I know my name, Axel!" I shouted back.

"Yeah right." he said, "You don't remember anything. The Organization, nobodies, Sora, or... just shut up, okay?" he said, beginning to leave.

"My name is Xaya! I don't know why I told Roxas and my friends that Ashe was my name, but there was a voice in the back of my head telling me not to tell them my real one! And you know what? It sounded a lot like Namine! Ever since those photos were stolen I've been getting weird dreams, and seeing things that aren't really there, and..."

After I ceased my explosion, Axel was looking at me wide-eyed and bushy-tailed. (Well, bushy-haired, but whatever)

"Why can't I read my heart...?"

Axel smiled. "I missed you, Xy." he said. "Someday soon, this'll all make sense. And you're going to be really happy when you find your other half."

"But..." I said, "My heart is mine. I don't want to share it with anyone else."

Axel laughed, "Oh, I beg to differ." he said. "I know for a fact that you like Roxas. And I also know you'd be more than happy to share your heart with him. But before you try to share it, you'll have to gain it."

I sighed, "... My heart, isn't real?" I asked.

"Let's just say, it's artificial. Think of it this way-- your original self is still only half without you, too." he smiled.

I smiled too, before looking at him a little more seriously. "But, why do we have to be enemies? I like us being friends." I said.

He shook his head, "It won't be that way for long." he said. "I'm actually trying to help you find your other half. Roxas' too." he said. He sat on the window sill, and looked out onto the forest. I stuck my head out of the window by his shoulder. "Pretty soon, we'll all be together again." he said.

"And it'll be just like old times, right? It's gonna be even better when I remember those times. I'll remember them, right?" I said, looking at him and the scenery at the same time.

He nodded, "Namine's sure to help you if you ask her." He jumped from my window and onto a tree branch and sat down on it while I took a seat on my window. "One more thing..." he said, with a teasing smirk, "if you want to be with Roxas soon, with all your feelings for him still in tact, follow him. The looks might decieve you, but where he goes- you go, got it?" he said, pointing to his head.

I nodded.

"Commit it to memory." he said, and jumped up into the trees.

I sat on my window for a few more minutes, just watching as my friend leaped away through the trees. I smiled as the rays of morning light gleamed through the branches.

From there, I knew my adventure had begun.

--!--

oOohh... twisty! Bet you didn't see that coming!! But then again, you might have. Since i'm really no good at being discreet.

Name change. Xaya is pronounced (Eye-uh) with a 'Z' at the beginning. And you all must know that the nobodies in the Organization's names have an 'X' in them, right? Well, Ashe's/Xaya's name will make more sense in the last chapters. It's a pretty awesome twist if I do say so myself. ha ha!

Also, very sorry for the not-update. It was kind of hard to work and remember the story, since I lost my notes of the original plot in the packing. . uh-oh! but it's okay, since I wrote a new one while I was camping. For a whole week. It was miserable. I suggest NEVER doing that.

Thank you sooo much for the reviews! I almost cried when I saw my simple 28 reviews shoot all the way up to 43-ish when I logged in the next day! You guys are nice. And look for a review from ME on one of your own stories soon!

-Rikku the half.