Competition Entry 18 Synopsis .uk
HARK, HARK, THE DOGS DO BARK
Or THIS TOXIC TATTERDEMALION
Partial Synopsis
The 6th Doctor and Peri. (Shortly after his regeneration, back when he was a nutjob.)
This is a pseudo-historical, a chance to get Peri out of those hideously unflattering outfits and into a pretty velvet gown. There is no 'real' history involved, just a made up place that might possibly resemble something historical without the need to do any research. (Historian? Moi?) Oh yes, better put it on a different planet too, just to cover all the bases.
The basic premise is very simple – Sixey and Peri are having an argument (the originality!) when the Tardis materializes on a planet similar to some period in Earth history. It doesn't really matter when, just so long as they have kings and queens and knights. (And Fools.) After this polite discussion about sartorial priorities they embark on the adventure.
The actual storyline is, I'm afraid, pretty much a means to an end. I'll write whatever situations will allow me to facilitate the more important (to me) aspect of interpersonal relationships between the protagonists. So, bearing in mind that this can change at any time if required, here is a very brief outline of what could possibly happen. (Maybe.)
They arrive in the middle of some political situation between rival fiefdoms. They get split up. Peri suddenly finds herself the most attractive woman on this Pox laden planet, and has to deal with hordes of ardent suiters. This might be okay if they looked like the guys from Miami Vice, but is none too pleasant when they all have spots and bad breath. ("But I bathes regular, My Lady! Every year, without fail, I takes a bath whether I needs one or not!")
The Doctor naturally tries to take command of his own situation – he has been captured and accused of Nigromancy. He isn't entirely sure what that is, but he has his suspicions.
Fortunately the Queen of the land takes a fancy to him, and adopts him as a pet. (He is most amusing, after all.) Unfortunately her husband, the King, is none too pleased about this.
Even more unfortunately the Doctor's scrambled neurons convince him that is in Love (with a capital L!) with the Queen.
Could throw in a few political plots and Machiavellian machinations and stuff like that to make it a bit more dramatic, but the basic story remains very simple.
Peri has to decide whether or not she is going to attempt to rescue this person that she doesn't actually like very much anymore.
She is seriously tempted to just let him go hang, but considering that this will leave her stuck on a planet full of slobbering ignorant Neanderthals (not so dissimilar to High School), she decides that maybe the Doctor rescue is her best option.
So, given that she now has a veritable army of distinctly sweaty and smelly young boys at her disposal, (again, not so dissimilar to High School), Peri comes up with a cunning plan.
HARK, HARK, THE DOGS DO BARK
Or THIS TOXIC TATTERDEMALION
Sample Narrative
The Doctor turned on her suddenly, fuming with incandescent rage. "My dear Miss Brown, I do not, as you so succinctly put it, know everything! I am acutely aware that there is a very great deal that I do not, in fact, know!
'Moreover, it is extremely likely that I have forgotten more than your tiny little mayfly mind can even begin to comprehend!"
He paused for breath, visibly trying to calm himself, and running through what he had just said as if unsure what he had been talking about.
"Oh don't over-react, Doctor, that was ages ago… and it was just a passing comment!
'And don't change the subject!' Peri faced up to him bravely, 'all I asked was why your coat has to be so hideous!"
She checked out routes of evasion just in case her repetition set him off again.
"How can you possibly make value judgements on my choice of apparel, dressed as you are!" the Doctor erupted back at her.
Peri glanced with distaste at the revolting pink monstrosity that was attempting to suffocate her pulchritude.
"I don't dress like this by choice Doctor! I don't think the Tardis likes me!"
She had just begun attempting to adjust her fittings when the Tardis suddenly gave a moan of arrival.
"What have you done? What did you touch?" bellowed the Doctor, as he leapt frantically towards the console.
"Me?' shrieked Peri, scooting rapidly to the opposite side, half convinced that he was about to attack her again. 'What could I have done? My hands are otherwise engaged!"
The Doctor gave her a suspicious glance, but given the placement and desperate firmness of her grip, he was unable to dispute her claim.
This irritated him intensely.
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(Later…)
"This toxic tatterdemalion vexes me sore!
'Have I not made this known in sufficient measure?
'Have I not expressed my ire on numerous occasions?" Quagron was most displeased.
Egram cowered before him, feeling an uncomfortable urge to urinate. "I cannot gainsay you, My Lord. Your displeasure is evident even unto your lowliest of servants, such as myself.
'But, if it be not too bold an observation, you mask your desires far too well for one such as I to act upon them."
Quagron stirred suspiciously in his throne. "You would have me state my case plain?"
He glanced sharply around the empty hall. 'You shall not have it so, but I would ask you this… come closer…'
He gestured as one to a recalcitrant child, then leaned down and whispered. 'Why does he still breathe?"
Egram panicked.
"He has the protection of your Lady, my Sire! You know how she dotes upon her new pet, and he is never far from her side!"
"Aha! Then do you suggest that I vent my righteous wrath on this interloper in the name of… well, whatever name seems suitable to purpose?"
"Er… No, Sire. That was not my intention. I merely wished to council against ill-considered action.
'This 'Doctor' is like a love-struck puppy in her presence. No impropriety is possible with this man.
'Indeed, it is my firm belief that the fool would expire, in a paroxysm of ecstasy, if Our Lady so much as tickled his tummy!"