I very much apologize for the long wait! I have to admit that I easily lose track of the days that pass, so whenever you feel like I might start to forget this story, feel free to leave me a message to give my mind a gentle little nudge to remember that I have this little project running as well. If you want to see how the next chapter comes along, you can either visit my profile or write me a message. I don't mind answering you at all :)

That aside, I thank you so, so, so very much for all your reviews on the last chapter! They made me all sorts of happy and they often give me a writing boost and a lot of energy to work on this story. So thank you all for your support, I can't really find words on how much I appreciate and love it. A big, big, big thank you once again goes to FrozenPeaches, the wonderful person who helps me a lot and is once again the saving grace of all the little details in my story that I like to overlook sometimes.

I very much hope you enjoy and like this chapter!

Warning: Mentions of past abuse, possible OoC-ness, yaoi in later chapters.

"Hey, Yamuraiha?" The woman looked up from some of her notes, when she heard Judar's voice behind her. The Magi was standing in front of one of her shelves, looking over the instruments and different orbs she had set up there.

Today was one of the days where Judar felt good. Felt normal. More like himself and freer of his past. Lighter, even if it lurked just at the corners of his mind. However, his memories left him alone, and he dared to enjoy the feeling of the sun warming his back and the easiness of his thoughts.

"Yes?" Yamuraiha turned to face him properly. It didn't happen so often, that the Magi was accompanying her inside to her study room.

"I was wondering about the Rukh…can it change its colors?" Judar glanced over his shoulder for a moment, almost giving the impression of an innocent, curious child asking questions about things it didn't understand.

"Well, depending on what kind of magic you use, the Rukh look different. What brought this on?"

Judar leaned forward, to touch a small orb with Lightening Rukh. "I mean, can Rukh change outside of being used? Or outside of being the energy of an element?"

At this, Yamuraiha seemed confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean like…" Judar straightened and turned to her, pointing at her Rukh. "I recently noticed that Rukh can change, depending on who people are talking to. Like with you and Sharrkan."

For a long moment, Yamuraiha just stared at the Magi, before she quickly stood up. "Seriously?! That happened?"

"Err…yeah." Now Judar felt slightly confused. "Why? And why does that happen?"

Rubbing her chin, Yamuraiha frowned. "I'd like to know that myself. I will research it right away!" And with those words, she breezed out of her study room before Judar could stop her, grabbing one or two of her scrolls along the way.

Blinking, the Magi stared after the magician and the door that fell closed behind her. Well, that hadn't gone quite as planned. Sighing, Judar dragged a hand through his hair. He really wondered just what that pink Rukh meant. He knew of the different elemental Rukhs, their colors and powers. However, that pink Rukh…he still wanted to know what it was.

Leaving the study room as well, Judar resolved to try and see Yamuraiha and Sharrkan interacting again as soon as possible – probably during dinner tonight. Maybe then some answers could be found. Maybe Yamuraiha was using her Rukh unconsciously, because the swordsman riled her up enough? Was that even possible? And even if so, just what sort of spell could cause the Rukh to become pink?

Half immersed in his thoughts, Judar wandered through the corridors until he reached the gardens and a small outside training area. Spartos was currently using it, sparring against one of the guards. Both weren't paying attention to him, so Judar used that moment to watch their Rukh closely. No, it was normal. Plain white, nothing shimmery or rosy or something of the sort. Huh. Interesting.

After another moment of silent observation, Judar resolved to go to the library of the king. Yamuraiha probably went there to start researching and he could do that with her, since the opportunity arose. And she probably knew the library a lot better than him, too. Besides, together they might find an answer sooner than when alone. And…even if Judar didn't want to admit it, researching with Yamuraiha or doing experiments with her was kind of…fun. The excited glow in her eyes and her bubbly speech and complete fascination with magic was interesting and infectious. Her mind was brilliant, that was something Judar had noticed very quickly and she was open to practically everything he suggested on trying – even if they once almost had blown up her study room because of mixing two elements wrongly.

So, yes, the magician was comfortable to be around. She wasn't pressuring him, or being too close or too obnoxious or too questioning. She asked him a few things, but mostly she started to accept him the way he was. At first, Judar had felt at odds with it. He wasn't really used to people accepting his evading answers and his often weird moods or his sometimes out-of-nowhere suggestions about magic. He also never had met another person that unconditionally loved magic the way he did and who always wanted to search deeper, look at more, feel everything. When it came to magic, Yamuraiha understood a part of him that Judar never had to explain to her like he had to others.

Walking off to look for her to research together, Judar wasn't aware that he had been watched as well.

Standing at one of the windows, two stories up, Sinbad and Ja'far were talking with each other, their eyes following the form of their Magi.

"How is Judar doing with his official work as our Magi?" Sinbad asked, leaning against the window sill in a relaxed fashion. His golden eyes followed Judar's form, watching the gentle swish of the long, braided hair and the way pale skin seemed to glow in the sunlight. He almost couldn't take his gaze from the Magi.

"He is doing pretty well so far. When Yamuraiha gives the okay, we can also slowly start to introduce him into our defense magic. With his powers, we might achieve even better protection than we already have right now."

"So, I take it you trust him more now?" For a moment, they both exchanged a look, before Ja'far watched the Magi disappear into the palace, staying silent and thoughtful for a minute.

"… Yes. I feel like I maybe should stay a bit more wary for longer, but…" A dry smile shortly settled on Ja'far's lips. "Something about him seems sincere. More than I ever experienced from him." He glanced at Sinbad. "I take it you know I talked to him during Pipirika's party?"

"I do. He talked to me about it." Turning to face his advisor, the king had a thoughtful look on his face. "I think he took the talk very seriously."

For a moment, Ja'far seemed to hesitate. "Thinking back on it, I may have been a bit harsh on him." He sighed. "However, I also had my reasons."

"I don't doubt that." Laying a hand on his shoulder, Sinbad gave Ja'far a gentle smile. "I trust you. You don't do things when you don't think they are necessary." Even if Sinbad knew that Judar had taken Ja'far's words to heart very much, that those words hurt him. However, Sinbad was also aware of the hurt that Ja'far had experienced by Judar's past actions and he wouldn't disregard this so easily. And as much as it pained and often vexed him, it was something Judar and Ja'far had to work through on their own. All he could do was support both of them to the best of his abilities and – if they needed or wished it – try to mediate between them.

"I won't stand for any of you getting hurt again." Something steel-like coated Ja'far's words, like a sharpened knife hidden by velvet silk. "Not if I could have stopped it."

Before Sinbad could open his mouth to say something, did Ja'far sigh, his shoulders slumping a little. "Still, I should talk to Judar again." For a second, the advisor seemed to ponder his words, before he spoke, even though it was a little quieter than before. "You know, a few days ago, I saw Judar sitting in the library alone, studying over some books. He looked really concentrated and focused. I got a look at the books and realized he was studying up on defense magic." Looking at Sinbad, the king could see that Ja'far's gray eyes were a bit softer than usual when talking about their Magi. "When I see him try so hard when no one's looking, I can't help but think that it's okay to start trusting him."

Smiling, Sinbad felt something ease inside of him. It was only then that he realized that he had secretly worried if there would always remain a certain distance between Ja'far and Judar, like an invisible wall. That none of them would try to take a step towards the other.

"I'm glad to hear that. Judar feels really guilty about the past."

Humming quietly, Ja'far looked out of the window again, watching Spartos in his sparring-match. For a moment, his gaze was absentminded, as though he recalled something. "I think I am…starting to believe that. When we had that talk during the party, it looked like I hit a sore spot with my words. I guess back then I just wasn't sure if he was acting or not."

"I just hope you guys get along better from now on."

Laughing quietly for a second, Ja'far looked at Sinbad. "I don't think you have to worry about that too much anymore. Just…give me a bit more time. I'm still getting used to having him as our ally. Even though it's difficult to trust him completely sometimes, I want to try and see him as the person he is now."

Sinbad gave Ja'far's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Of course. Take all the time you need. I'll tell Judar that you don't feel hostile towards him anymore."

"Oh, if possible, I'd like to do that myself." Sighing with a small smile, Ja'far motioned for Sinbad to continue their walk to the king's office. "I told him I don't trust him, and then I might as well also tell him I don't think that way anymore."

Smiling happily about those a bit unexpected change of events, Sinbad felt his mood turning more than good. Damn, he even felt ready to tackle work with enthusiasm.

As they turned to walk down the corridor, one of their messengers turned around the corner, his face brightening slightly when he saw the king and his advisor.

"My king, Sir Ja'far." Bowing quickly, he held out a sealed message with a clear insignia. "A message from Reim just arrived. It carries the seal of the palace."

Exchanging a short, quick look, Sinbad took the message from the man. "I thank you." Nodding, the guy bowed again and quickly left, probably to deliver another message to someone.

"What could it be about?" Ja'far asked, curiously eying the seal. "I thought everything was alright?"

"I wonder as well." Frowning slightly in confusion and wondering, Sinbad tugged the message into his sleeve. "Let's get to the office before we see what Reim could possibly want."

Sharrkan was officially confused. And not only that. He'd also like to officially state that the woman in front of him had finally lost her marbles. Maybe she had breathed in one of her potions one time to many? Or maybe one of her experiments with magic had gone wrong? He had told her time and time again to be more careful…well, in his own way.

"Yamuraiha, just what the hell are you doing?"

"Shhh! And don't move!" Staring at different places beside his head, Yamuraiha took another step forward, holding up a really weird looking instrument – something that looked a lot like a staff with a magical orb at the end of it. Sharrkan really didn't know if he should feel threatened or not. Who knew what went on in her head? Maybe she wanted revenge for one or another stupid thing he had unknowingly done?

Taking a step back, he stared down at her, warily keeping an eye on the instrument. "No seriously, what is this about? You wanna fight?"

"What? No, don't be stupid, you'd lose anyway – ah!" Before Sharrkan could even retaliate that she would lose, she snapped the instrument shut beside his head, staring at it intently, while he jumped back.

"The hell, woman?!" Was she trying to behead him? Their relationship wasn't that bad! Then he saw the look of slight disappointment on her face and paused. So, standing mere inches away from him, holding up a weird thing and smacking it just past his ears was important to her?

"Could you explain what you are doing?" He would maybe – probably – help if he could…

Yamuraiha sighed. "Judar said something about pink Rukh," she muttered under her breath, just loud enough that Sharrkan could still catch it. "And I thought…I don't know, just now it looked kind of…pink."

Sharrkan blinked. "Wait, are you telling me that my Rukh is pink?"

"That's exactly the problem, it is not!" Well, Sharrkan couldn't say he saw that as a problem, really… "I had hoped to find some answers to this rather unusual occurrence…"

Sharrkan was looking at her suspiciously when he saw she once again stared at the air. He knew, he really knew about the Rukh. However, since he couldn't see shit, it was really, really weird to see the magician watching, well, nothing. Maybe she did lose her marbles, but then again, that also could have happened years ago…

Sighing, Sharrkan brushed his bangs away slightly, shifting to a relaxed stance. Now that he didn't feel threatened by her instrument anymore – not that he would ever admit that to anyone – he suddenly realized how close she still stood to him. The swordsman could swear that he almost felt the heat coming from her body. They usually weren't that close. Not without fighting, not without being drunk as hell. They usually weren't…which didn't mean that it wasn't…nice. Another thing he wouldn't admit.

Yamuraiha, who suddenly seemed to realize their closeness as well, paused, blinking, before she slightly cleared her throat and moved a step back. Then she glanced up at him and their eyes met.

How green, she thought involuntarily, before she shook that thought off and the fact that she found his eyes…nice. Alright, not only nice, she secretly liked them. Even if she would never admit it. And usually she liked older men a lot more, but something about Sharrkan drew her in. Something about him caused her to think of him. He never wandered too far from her mind, once she stopped brooding over magic. He was easy to rile up, easy to talk to, even if they mostly argued, he was easy to be around…easy to trust.

Sharrkan found himself looking at her, seeing the ocean blue of her eyes, the soft fall of her hair, the curve of her lips…he always saw, even if it always was only in short instances that were quickly overtaken by their little quarrels – quarrels that they had had for years now and despite them being old and new at the same time, something about Yamuraiha always stayed interesting, intense. She kept him on his toes like others rarely did, she captured his gaze easily just by walking into the room and he found he couldn't…leave her alone completely, even if he tried. Something about her made him feel alive; something that usually only sword fighting managed to do.

Sharrkan only had a moments warning with the shift of her gaze, before he jumped aside, as she once again tried to catch something out of the air, mere breaths away from his head.

"Hah!" Triumphantly, she held up the small orb, that the instrument had placed at the upper end and Sharrkan felt like grabbing it and smacking it against the next tree or wall.

"Stop doing that!" Taking another step back, just to be safe, Sharrkan watched as she intently stared at the orb, not hearing him or listening to him at all. Sighing, he rolled his eyes. Mention magic, and the mind of this woman went down the gutter.

Then, after a second, she frowned again and sighed. "Damn. I thought I had it just now."

Sharrkan snorted. "Please, as if my Rukh would be pink."

She looked at him, a sly smirk slowly spreading over her face. "Oh? Well, mister manly swordsman, care to explain why your Rukh was pink just now then?"

"Pf, you could make that up. Besides, who said it had to be mine? Maybe it's yours. All those nonsense magic experiments must have powdered it or something. Or it has plainly tampered with your head." He tapped a fingertip against her forehead, refusing to dwell on the fact that she had, indeed, lovely skin.

He retracted his hand, before she could slap it away, a scowl appearing on her face. "Tampered with my head? I beg to differ, seeing as how often you tripped and smacked your face into the ground as a kid, you are the one with a few screws loose."

Sharrkan cursed that she still remembered that. "Oh yeah? Well, at least I don't get nuts over a spell that is only useful in growing out hair like crazy or playing around with water like an oversized child." He grinned at her and she grinned right back, all teeth and blue eyes full of fire and life. God damn, he loved this fire in her.

"The oversized child clearly has to be you, if I remind you how nuts you went about a useless dagger, which can do no better than cutting trees at best."

"As if magic is any better!"

"Swords are the real pest of this world!"

Faster than before, they were in each other's faces, staff and sword at the ready, arguing full out.

And both of them failed to notice Judar, who had accidentally come across them and then – not so accidentally – decided to eavesdrop and watch them. His ruby eyes were fixed on the Rukh between them; how they flittered so close to them, chirped as lively as they argued and glowed…pink.

As he had watched them interact, the way both of them had – for a short but clear second – looked lost to the others gaze, a slow, slight suspicion had grown in him. A tiny, almost withered suspicion. Could it be? Could those pink Rukh represent…feelings? Those sort of supposedly warm, breathtaking, heart stealing and mind-turned-to-mush feelings? Could it be…fondness? Affection? …maybe even love?

Watching them argue, Judar would immediately snort at those thoughts, shaking his head as if something insane had just taken up his mind. However, when he watched the Rukh…when he listened to them and not the squabbling idiots, he caught quiet whispers. Whispers that told him that despite all their arguing, all their side blows to each other, those two…cared. Secretly and more deeply than could be seen.

Sneaking away, Judar moved through the shadows the evening sun cast all around him and on silent feet he left the little outside garden with the small fountain. He suddenly felt like he had intruded on something that wasn't meant for him – had listened to Rukh that were carrying secret affection.

A slight chill worked up his spine and he rubbed his arms, suddenly feeling…not exactly exposed, but something in him…moved.

Love was something Judar hadn't really thought about. He had witnessed other people being in love or talking about it; however, to him, it always felt miles and miles away. It was too scary. Being in love came with things he didn't want to handle – being close to a person, being bound to someone again…

Judar still didn't know what to think about love. Ever since he came to Sindria, he had felt the darkness in him shift slightly, like it was getting…lesser, easier to bear. His thoughts still haunted him like the ever existent movement of the Rukh and yet…he still felt a lot better than back in Kou.

Here in Sindria, he started to feel…safe. He started to feel accepted; he started to feel himself opening up – not to everyone though. Judar started to like the company of people simply because of who they were and he stopped fearing the shadows of people, stopped watching out for every turn in the corridors once the night set in.

It was more than he had ever hoped to get, more than he had dared to believe would ever happen. And now, now he actually started to think he could dare more. Try to take another step and try to stand taller. Hope was something foreign to him – this pure hope, that didn't require others to die for his life to get better, that didn't require him to feed the darkness.

And now this…if the pink Rukh really represented someone liking another person…what else could be seen, that Judar had never seen before?

It felt like a foreign world opened up to Judar, one he wasn't sure he was ready for. White Rukh was something he didn't have. White Rukh was full of feelings and warmth and it chirped of lives different from his. Could he really dare and step into this world, that had never been his?

Judar didn't know if he should feel annoyed or curious or smug because he, by now, was very sure that the pink Rukh meant someone loved or liked another person in a special way. However, since Drakon was sitting right beside him, with his wife, their pink Rukh practically smothering Judar with their whistling and chirping and charming songs, he settled on a mix of annoyed and accomplished. He had found out the origin of the pink Rukh – or at least, he was ninety percent sure – but it was still annoying. How had he missed all this before?

The Rukh usually were calmer during diner. No, actually, the Rukh were rarely this active, this chirpy or this fluttery. It almost felt like they smacked into his face as they happily flew around the married couple. And the worst part? Drakon and his wife weren't even overly affectionate with each other! It was like the Rukh were some sort of romantic tension between them, as they held hands under the table and his leg brushed up to hers – yes, Judar could see that if he leaned forward just a bit and looked past Drakon's arm, which felt really weird, just for the record.

Waving slightly at the noisy and touchy Rukh, the Magi tried to swat them away as calmly and secretly as possible. It wouldn't do for him to suddenly start slapping at them or smacking them into the table – not that this would kill the Rukh and he didn't want to draw attention to himself by acting weird.

So, since he couldn't really do anything about it – or ask someone to switch seats with him – he tried to focus on his food, poking it over and over again, until his watermelon was full of holes and he decided to swallow some of it. His appetite wasn't really big this evening, but at least he didn't feel uncomfortable with eating around the others, with the others.

Suddenly, Pisti, who sat at his other side, leaned forward slightly, a happy smile on her face. Sneakily, she stole a piece of meat from Spartos' plate while the other wasn't watching. Noticing that Judar saw her, she gave a cheeky wink, biting into the food and grinning at him.

"Do you want something as well?" She nodded towards Spartos and his half filled plate, who was still conversing with Ja'far about replacing some of the training dummies in the arena he often trained in.

"Er, no…thanks." Judar added, almost as if it was an afterthought. Pisti shrugged.

"You don't know what you're missing out on. Is this some diet you are doing? Or are you generally not eating meat? It's not a Magi-thing as far as I know. Aladdin ate lots of meat the last time he was here."

Judar couldn't help it, despite her curious and light tone of voice and her nice smile, he felt uncomfortable with her asking. He knew Pisti didn't mean anything bad by it, he knew she wasn't cunningly waiting for him to slip up and find out a weakness or pressuring him into something he didn't want. He knew she didn't look at him just so she didn't miss the smallest twitch of a muscle.

She was merely curious. She merely wanted to get to know him. She didn't understand and that was why she asked. Judar just wished he would stop feeling tense at the fact that she asked him about his eating habit – especially since it was mainly born from bad memories. Or mentioning Aladdin…Judar didn't really know how to feel about the little Magi.

"I don't like meat," he answered, shrugging as well, looking down at his plate and his half-poked-to-death melon pieces.

For a second, Pisti was silent and then he realized she stood up to stretch out her arms as far as she could. When she sat back down, she held a platter of cut oranges and a bowl of grapes in her hands. "Want some of these then?"

Her smile was so honest and her eyes shone like she was sure she had done something utterly right with this. And somehow, it made Judar feel better. He found himself giving a small smile in return, as he took some of the grapes. Somehow, with this simple act, Pisti had made him feel accepted, made him feel better about himself.

"Thanks." The pink Rukh of Drakon and his wife were still annoying though. And from Yamuraiha and Sharrkan. Though, since they sat at the end of the table, their Rukh thankfully was merely annoyingly chirpy and didn't circle around his head. How come he hadn't seen them before? Did he really pay this little attention to the Rukh outside of training and research? What else had he missed until now? Was there more about white Rukh? …more than he could even discover with his colored black? He didn't like that thought. Judar didn't want to be cut off from the white Rukh just because his was different.

Lifting his gaze, the Magi met Masrur's eyes at the same time when the Fanalis glanced in his direction. He and Hinahoho were sitting across from him and for a long moment, Judar's thoughts wandered to the night he had spent in the presence of the redhead.

That was a few days ago and somehow, it had helped the Magi to find more calm in his sleep. Maybe it was the quiet knowledge that Masrur was out there, sleeping but still watching out. Maybe it was because he had been woken by the warmth of the sun after that night and Masrur still had been there and everything had been so peaceful and calm. Soothing.

Then he blinked and realized that Hinahoho had moved to offer him a plate with apples and peaches, a gentle smile on his face. He probably had thought that Judar had stared at the food on the table and not at Masrur's hands – which, despite their calluses somehow didn't seem dangerous or unpleasant in the least.

"Do you want some of those? Or something else?" And when Judar looked up to meet those amber eyes of the giant, a sudden realization knocked the breath out of him for a second.

These people were watching out for him.

That was so new to him. He was somewhat used to Sinbad watching out for him – especially since the king knew about his past – but from outsiders of his past…it was the first time. The first time people honestly and simply watched out for him because of him and his wellbeing. Because they cared for him and nothing else.

Judar swore to every Djinn and Rukh out there, that his fingers were not shaking when he grabbed a peach and thanked Hinahoho. Still, he couldn't help but feel a part of him settle down. Like something in him found a home.

The rest of diner passed by very fast from there on, with Judar trying to ponder about the Rukh, between getting swarmed with the pink ones from the couple beside him and the slightly bickering idiots from the end of the table, and conversing with the present generals. The conversations were mostly still polite, still tentatively inching towards more personal topics. They were still getting to know him as he was still getting to know them.

Judar had to admit, that now, since he didn't feel so out of place anymore, he liked the pace in which they got to know him. The Magi sneaked a glance towards Sinbad, who sat on Ja'far's other side and at this moment, their eyes met. The king's golden eyes were warm and his smile filled with mirth. He gave Judar a nod, his smile widening.

Judar only realized he had smiled back when he returned his gaze to his plate. Somehow, it was a lot easier to eat everything up and half an orange more than usual.

When diner was over though, Sinbad managed to catch him while they exited the table. "Judar, would you mind coming with me for a bit? There is something I would like to talk to you about."

The Magi eyed Sinbad, before he nodded. "Alright. Should I come to the office or the study room with you?"

"None of them, if you don't mind, we can meet up either in your room or in my room." The king looked at him questioningly. Judar hesitated for a second. Sinbad seemed to want to talk about either something serious or personal…or probably both.

"Your room." The raven was more comfortable with that. His room was…his. And…Judar liked Sinbad's rooms. They were comfortable to be in and he hadn't seen them since he moved into his own room.

Sinbad smiled at him. "Good, then, shall we go?" Sinbad placed a gentle hand on his shoulder for a short moment, so easily as if he did it subconsciously, before he took the lead.

It was only when Judar saw the king's back that he realized, that he hadn't disliked the touch at all. Quite the contrary. It had been warm. …nice even. And his shoulder still…felt pleasantly warm from it, even if it had been a short contact.

That was new to Judar. Liking a touch, thinking that it wouldn't be bad to feel it again…it was new, somewhat scary and it still made him feel lighter. Better. Maybe he was getting better. Maybe he was starting to leave his nightmares behind him.

Following Sinbad out of the dining room, the generals wished them a good night before the two of them turned down a corridor to walk towards the king's rooms. Now that they were alone, Judar couldn't help but wonder what was up.

"Did something happen?", he asked, walking easily beside Sinbad. He didn't really feel nervous…just curious and…okay, maybe a little, little bit nervous.

"Well, kind of." The king looked thoughtful. "I just thought I'd tell you before we soon get a visitor." He smiled at him. "It's nothing too bad though. We just got a message from Reim this afternoon."

At this, Judar perked up, his eyes focusing intensely on Sinbad. Reim still had some troops stationed in Kou, as far as he knew – along with two ambassadors from the Seven Seas Alliance. Did Sinbad have any news on Kou? If yes, good or bad news?

"What did the message say?", he asked when they finally reached the king's quarters and Sinbad opened the door for him, closing it as they stepped inside.

"A representative of Reim will come here next month, along with a detailed report on how things stand with Kou. But from the last letter from one of my ambassadors I know that the rebuild of the country goes well." Motioning for the Magi to sit down, the older male took a seat beside him on the couch at the side of the bedroom.

Then, Sinbad's face became more serious. "Depending on what the report says though, I might have to go to Kou." At this, Judar halted, blinking in surprise. "Sindria is still a participant and founder in the Seven Seas Alliance and we took part in the war. Besides, I'd like to check up on the situation myself and see where we might be able to help Kou. The faster the country is back on its feet and able to support itself and its citizens without problems, the better."

The Magi hesitated for a second, a slight frown of confusion on his face. "How come you are willing to help Kou so much? I guess Reim too, since they joined your alliance during the war. I mean…Kou has done a lot of bad things."

"A country is more than the people who make the decisions. Yes, a lot of bad things were done, but the people responsible were held accountable. The citizens, the people trying to survive the war just as much as anyone else involved, they haven't done anything." Sinbad leaned back slightly. "Furthermore, only by helping them back on their feet can we hope to change anything. We will still keep a close eye on the Ren Family and their connections, just in case, until they settle with peaceful intentions."

Then there was one question that burned at the tip of Judar's tongue and he found he couldn't swallow it back down. "Has Hakuryuu shown up yet?"

This time Sinbad paused, thinking for a moment, before getting even more serious. "No, I fear not. As far as I know he is still missing along with his sister."

After all this time…could he be dead? Hakuryuu had a lot of bite in him, Judar knew, but was it enough to survive a war? What about Hakuei? If they were together, could Hakuryuu have done something stupid in order to protect her?

"What about the others? How are they?"

Sinbad smiled gently and his golden eyes seemed to grow warm as they focused on him. "Everyone else is alright as far as I know. But if you want, you can ask the representative of Reim when they come. When nothing will change in the dynamics, Muu Alexius will visit us."

The name dimly rang a bell in Judar's mind and the blurred memory of a red headed man was conjured up for a second. He didn't really remember, but he knew from some reports that this Muu Alexius had done quite some damage during the war – along with a lot of other people.

Judar didn't know how to feel about that, about meeting a former enemy. How would Muu perceive him? What if he hated him? A lot of Reim's soldiers had fallen and maybe even by his own hand – back then when he had to fight his way through the battle before the castle to reach safety, to reach his friends, to get out of all the bloodshed. Then, in the next second, he cursed in his mind. What did it matter what some Reim guy thought about him? It didn't. It shouldn't. Those feelings of nervousness, of wanting to be accepted by a fucking stranger, were feelings he shouldn't have. He shouldn't be concerned with that. And he wouldn't. He refused to.

"Judar?" Feeling a slight touch upon his shoulder, the Magi focused back on the king. "You were frowning, what were you thinking about?"

The raven opened his mouth to answer, the truth already halfway out, when he paused. Was this a thing he was supposed to tell Sinbad? It shouldn't matter. He shouldn't care so much. In the end, he just shrugged with one shoulder, shortly averting his eyes. "Just thinking about some things."

Sinbad could see that there might be something more, but he didn't press for it. And for that, Judar was grateful. Not only because he didn't want to talk about it, Sinbad also accepted his decision about what he wanted to share and what he didn't want to talk about. That felt good. It somehow made him feel a little bit stronger, a little bit more like he could sit up straighter.

Still, now that some of the worries he had lurking in the back of his head were calmed, another thought snuck in, uncomfortable and very sharp against his mind.

"Will it be certain that you…go to Kou?" Judar didn't dare ask about the emperor. However, since Sinbad didn't say anything about him, the vile pig might just as well be alive and eating as before, his ass still seated on the throne. And the thought that Sinbad would go there, would meet him, talk to him, maybe even shake his hand…something about that thought made the Magi feel sick.

Sinbad looked at him, not hiding that he wondered if Judar was worried about something. "Not completely. It depends on what Muu has to say and what else my ambassadors report to me. But, to be honest, I'd like to go. I'd like to see with my own eyes what the situation in Kou looks like." The king leaned forwards slightly, his eyes more serious than before. "I do have a responsibility since my Alliance was involved with the war. I also have an interest in keeping such a war from repeating itself and establishing peace. And if a country is in shambles or is in a poor condition, if the people are hungry and feel small and hopeless, they are more likely to try and fight again. So I have more than one reason to go." A gentler look crossed Sinbad's face then. "Are you worried about something, Judar?"

And the Magi was torn between brushing everything off or trying to hint at the king to not let his guard down. The face of the emperor appeared unbidden before his inner eye and Judar felt his stomach roiling uncomfortably, nausea scratching his throat and his mouth went dry. For a long second, he found he couldn't get any words past his heavy tongue and closed lips.

"Not really…" He couldn't really say it. Not now. Not with Sinbad watching him with these eyes that rarely missed anything. Maybe later, when he knew what to say and how to say it and when he could make it sound nonchalant and like a passing thought. When he could hide his fear and disgust and keep it a secret. He didn't want Sinbad to know who had…hurt him. Not like this. If, at any time the king was to know, Judar wanted to be the one to tell him and to let it happen out of his own volition. And not some messed up mistake or slip up on his part.

"I see." And simply, like that, Sinbad dropped the subject, most likely again respecting his wish to not talk about it. Judar, secretly, felt a little baffled again.

Back in Kou, not a lot of people had asked and respected his opinion or words. Al-Tharmen had manipulated him all his life, killed his family and painted his Rukh black, and the emperor…he certainly had never listened or asked.

Sinbad could see Judar's gaze becoming absent for a second and how a slight shiver followed afterwards. His best guess was that the Magi had remembered something unpleasant.

He wondered if he should have pressed the matter a little bit more. The king was well aware of the fact that someone in Kou had hurt Judar horribly. He just didn't know who, but he would bet his treasures, that it was exactly that person, that made his Magi uncomfortable and nervous whenever they talked about Kou.

And Sinbad didn't know how to react to that. He didn't know if he could go to Kou and not search every face for a sign, a hint that would reveal who had done harm to Judar. But he knew that, in all honesty, he had no right to do so. To suspect the people from Kou and keep a sharp eye out on their little movements and facial expressions. He had no right to do that, as long as Judar didn't ask it of him. The only one who had any rights to anger and hatred and revenge was Judar himself.

Sinbad knew that he himself hurt because he wished he had prevented all the bad things in his Magi's life. He was angry because he loved Judar and just the thought that someone hurt him made him bristle in the worst of ways.

And that was exactly what Judar didn't need. He didn't need Sinbad to curse the ever loving life out of those who hurt him, he didn't need Sinbad to become angry and he didn't need Sinbad out on a hunt for revenge.

He needed Sinbad to be there for him and when he was ready, to address the wounds in his heart. The younger male needed Sinbad to be calm, steady.

The king knew all that and somehow, it made things easier. It helped the older male to stay calm and listen, and not close his mind and heart in anger.

The hurt however, stayed. It was like a painful throb in Sinbad's chest, a silent sound of something wounded and for a long second, he wondered where he fit in. Where did he fit in, in this whole picture that was Judar's life, with his feelings? Especially his discovered feelings of love for the raven.

This part, hurt as well.

Sinbad hadn't expected to fall in love and he, furthermore, had never expected that it would be something that could hurt in this deep, deep way. He didn't know if he could ever freely speak about those feelings to Judar without scaring him or making him wary. He didn't know if he could ever expect any of them to be reciprocated.

And at the same time, a part of him didn't want to let go of this love. Maybe it was stupid, maybe it was painful at times, and maybe it would be something he might regret at some point. But in all this, in his life full of fake smiles to visitors from other countries, his cunning ways of navigating and manipulating people in order to keep peace, and trying to do the best for his country, nothing had felt this real and true and good in a long while.

The feeling of love was something the king, in all honesty, cherished.

And that was why it hurt when he saw Judar shying away, averting those beautiful ruby eyes of his, or changing the topic or when the raven looked carefully at people, as if he expected them to plot or say something against him.

Sinbad couldn't stop the small sigh from leaving his mouth and Judar looked at him, ruby eyes a bit darker and attentive. And in this moment, the king really wished he could reach out and touch the black hair and that soft skin and feel Judar's warmth.

However, he didn't, instead motioning vaguely to his room. "Would you like to stay a bit longer and talk? I wouldn't mind the company."

He was a little surprised, when Judar shrugged slightly and answered almost right away. "I don't mind."

The king felt a smile growing on his face and when the Magi met his eyes, the raven smiled back a little, tentatively but clearly. And somehow Sinbad felt like things would be alright. Maybe not tonight and maybe not even in a few weeks or months. But somehow, he got the impression that Judar was…healing. Getting better a little.

He could be wrong but at the moment, he didn't even want to think about that possibility. He just wanted to think about how that small smile made Judar's eyes a bit brighter and how the hurt in his own chest changed to a flowing warmth.