Author's note:
Welcome to part/act 2! I really hope you enjoy this next installment.
Sakura slipped back inside her modest little household, following Iruka into the kitchen space to refill her coffee and grab some of the breakfast he had prepared. It was just a simple array of fruits and some breads, but anything already prepared was more than good enough in her book. She grabbed a few pieces and gave Iruka an affectionate kiss on the cheek before plopping some strawberries in her mouth.
Her and Iruka had been living together in Suna for two years now. He had put in the request same as Sakura when he returned after assisting her on her trip, finding he didn't want to be away from her. They'd return to Konoha when they were ready, but for now, Suna was their home. They actually quite loved it. The desert was more comforting than they had imagined. They initially thought it would feel awfully barren and desolate, but it was quite the opposite if you looked closely.
The dunes came to life as the sun would ripple the sands and the beams reflecting off the soft grains made a shimmering effect. Sakura's favorite times of day were sunrise and sunset, when the dust would settle and it was impossibly quiet across the desert hues of pink and purple in the sky softened the landscape and when the moon would take its place in the sky it made the desert look like a sea.
It really was quite beautiful.
She was broken out of her thoughts by a soft cough from Iruka and she looked over to him, giving him a soft smile, "Something on your mind?" he asked and she shook her head, bringing the coffee mug to her lips and taking a small sip.
"No, just thinking about how happy I am here," she said, a grin taking over her face that he had been reflecting. It soon faded and he took her hand in his, looking into her eyes and she gave him a confused look.
"There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about…" he said, looking at her hand in his as he rubbed his thumb into her palm in thought. She furrowed her brow and tilted her head.
"What is it?" she asked, allowing him to maintain his hold on her hand as she sat back in the chair she had been sitting on.
"The Hokage will be making an appearance here in a few days," he said, pausing to gauge Sakura's reaction but she had none to give him, her expression unreadable, "he's doing a tour of the countries; giving speeches at certain villages," he said and she nodded, unsure of what to say. She pursed her lips as she looked to the side, searching her mind and heart as she internalized what Iruka had said.
"Will the Mizukage be accompanying him on this tour?" she asked, finding herself unable to refer to her as his wife. It always left a sour taste in her mouth. He shrugged, indicating that he did not know and leaned back in his chair, staring at Sakura. She chewed on her bottom lip, knowing what he was thinking.
"You know he's going to visit the hospital, right? And he's going to want to talk to their head nurse," he pointed out and she let out a breath and nodded.
"Yes, I would be surprised and honestly concerned if he wasn't curious about the state of our health care here," she said, about to get up from the table but Iruka signaled for her to wait, a knowing look on his face. She paused and sat back down, returning his stare.
"Does he know?" he asked and she raised her brows dumbly, as if she didn't know what he was talking about.
"Know what?"
"You know," he said, looking at her as if she had gone crazy.
"Of course he doesn't know," she said with a wave of her hand as she stood from the chair, putting her hands on her hips as she stood facing away from him.
She heard him sigh and lean back in his chair, "He doesn't know," he repeated and she shook her head, letting it fall and tucking in her chin.
"Why did you never tell him? Don't you think he has a right to know?" he asked and she turned quickly, giving him an intense look.
"Of course he has a right to know but what was I supposed to say? He's the Hokage and he's married. I couldn't just… no. I couldn't just drop that on him," she said and he let out a heavy sigh, bringing a hand to his temple and rubbing it.
"Sakura, I've been here two years now. I'm here because I want to help you and I love you in every sense of the word and I've respected your privacy. I didn't think it was my place to ask but now I think I deserve an explanation," he said and she took a shuddering breath, maintaining her gaze on him.
"What do you want to know then?"
"I want to know what the hell happened between the two of you and why you ran away from it all," he asked, motioning for her to sit back in the chair in front of him, "Especially now that you have his daughter, Sakura."
She closed her eyes, nodded her head and sat down, knowing that what Iruka was saying was correct.
It was time for her to come clean.
Four years earlier, the night after the wedding
Sakura shook on the seat of the toilet as she held the little piece of plastic in her hand, her fate having been sealed.
A bright pink plus sign was staring back at her, mockingly.
She bit her lip and chuckled bitterly while shaking her head. If this was the last piece of courage she needed to leave, it was more than enough. That alone would have her running for the hills just to get away and not just from him. If she were to go through with this, she would do it alone.
She sat up from the toilet, tossing the test in the trash and hiked up her pants. There was the issue of who the child belonged to. Her sexual escapades with Iruka and Kakashi had been so close together, literally having been with both in one day that she couldn't possibly know whose it was.
She supposed she'd find out in 9 months' time if it ended up coming out with white hair.
She let out a shaky breath as she opened the door of her bathroom and grabbed her pack that was perched right outside the door. She looked around her bedroom, taking in the space before she left it for good. Her furniture was all still there, some she elected to take with her and some she generously decided to just give to Ino.
She would be making her journey on foot, figuring she'd make a mini vacation out of it and stopping at villages she had never been to on the way, telling herself she was due for a much- needed break, especially now that she had this little bit of information looming over her.
She closed her eyes and went over a mental checklist, making sure she had everything in her pack for a two week trip. She had already seen the people she had wanted to see before leaving. She had told them she wouldn't be gone long, but only she knew she had no real intention of coming back.
There was only one person who insisted on seeing her off who she was most apprehensive about, and this newly acquired knowledge only made her more nervous about it. She had refused profusely when he had first asked her, saying it was a terrible idea and what would his wife think, her husband running off the night after the wedding.
She remembered seeing him off at her front door the previous night, suggesting he go home to scrub off all evidence of her before the ceremony the next day. He kissed her with everything he had before he left. Her lips had become swollen from the onslaught of kisses he had given her over the short time they had spent together. Her legs were wrapped around his as he had her perched against the door and she remembered him being so warm. He had been so soft in that moment, sliding his tongue against hers and drawing out soft moans within her. The sound must had ignited something within him, because his kiss soon turned rough again. It was consuming. It was heated. It was dangerous.
And then he asked to see her again.
And after a bit of fighting she said yes, like the love sick fool that she was.
So, she left her apartment and didn't look back. She left and ventured to the front gates where the person who had helped seal her fate would be waiting for her. Along the journey she was going through immense inner turmoil. She didn't know whether or not she should tell him. If it had been definitive that the father was Kakashi, she would tell him, but she couldn't know for certain. And so she decided with a heavy heart that she wouldn't, and that this was her burden to bear until the baby was born. She was scared, but in some ways it was already warming her heart.
She didn't feel so alone.
As she approached the gates she could already see his form leaning against the posts. She took in a deep breath and willed some confidence in her, needing to get through this last obstacle until she was free. He picked up his head at the sound of someone approaching and picked himself up, walking towards her.
Her breath hitched as he immediately cloaked her in his embrace, bringing a hand to her hair and gripping her tight.
"Kakashi, someone might see," she said, her voice muffled against his chest, trying to pull away but she couldn't break from his strong grip.
"I told the guards I'd be posted at this side for a little while, and it's midnight. We're alone," he said softly, pulling back to look at her face.
"What about your wife?" she asked after a long pause and he stiffened.
"Asleep," he said evenly and she nodded, allowing for him to hold her for a while.
"Is this really happening?" she heard him ask above her and she could feel the tears start to well up in her eyes as she nodded, unable to speak the words. He pulled away from her, gripping her shoulders and looking intensely at her. She bit her lip and brought her hands to either side of his mask, watching his eyes close at her touch as she pulled it down to reveal his lips. She traced the beauty mark on the one side of his mouth like she had that one day at the hospital. He sighed at her touch as she traced along his lower lip. He then took in a large inhale, squinting his eyes as if he were concentrating on her scent.
"You smell different…" he said, looking down at her thoughtfully, "I can't explain it but… it's more like me," he said softly and her breath hitched. Now she knew.
She didn't know what had come over her but she grabbed his face with both of her hands and brought him down for the most intense kiss that she could muster. She took control, swiping her tongue along his bottom lip and moaning as she thoroughly explored his mouth, massaging every part of it and allowing herself to become lost in him one more time.
He groaned against her, moving his hands down to her waist as he pulled her closer. They groped and grabbed, licked and nipped until their lips were bruised and they were reduced to a breathless mess. She saw him bite his lip and bring his head up, resting his chin on the top of her head as they breathed each other in for a moment longer.
"I will always love you, Sakura. And I'll wait for you. I'll wait at the ends of the earth, until my dying breath," he said she let out a shaky exhale and she hiccupped against him, nodding as she let the tears fall and she gripped the back of his shirt, not wanting to let go.
He pulled away from her, neither of them looking at each other for they both knew they were in a delicate state at that moment. She turned and faced the gates, taking in a deep breath and taking her first step.
She didn't look back.
Present day
Sakura sat in her seat, twiddling her thumbs as her and Iruka sat in tense silence.
"Well I think it's quite obvious that Hana is not my child," Iruka said suddenly and Sakura chuckled, shaking her head.
"No, she is not…" she said, the imagine of Hana taking over her mind. Her little girl was three now and had the most gorgeous white hair that had just a tint of pink. Her eyes were the most beautiful emerald, like her mother. She was an amazing mix of the two, and Sakura wasn't too modest to admit that her daughter was the most beautiful human being she had ever laid eyes on.
From the moment she delivered Hana it was confirmed she shared a child with Kakashi. She came out with that stark white hair, making Sakura's heart stop. She had always had that feeling, though, that the child was Kakashi's. From the moment he had scented her and noticed the change, she just knew. A part of him was growing inside her and would stay with her for the rest of her life.
"He needs to know, Sakura," he said, his voice penetrating through her thoughts and she sighed, dropping her head as she clasped her hands together and played with them in agitation.
"I know…" she said softly and he propped himself up from the chair.
"He'll be here for about a week. That gives little chance for you to hide from him and I can guarantee once he lays his eyes on that little girl he'll know she's his," he said, shooting her a knowing look.
Just then she heard footsteps padding along the top floor. Both Iruka and Sakura looked above to the ceiling where the footsteps were emanating from, focusing on the slight vibrations they were making. She smiled to herself as she heard her sing-song voice calling out for her mother, racing across the upstairs hallway and bounding down the stairs.
Sakura turned to look at her daughter, hair all wild from sleep and a crazy look in her eyes from the adrenaline of just having woken up, which seemed quite contradictory to Sakura when she stopped to think about it.
Hana bounded toward her and swiftly climbed onto her lap, giving her mother a peck on her lips.
"Morning, momma," she squeaked as she bounced on Sakura's lap and she looked over to Iruka, giving him a beaming smile, "Morning, Uncle Iruka!"
They both smiled at Hana, marveling at such a young thing's happiness as she picked at the scraps on Sakura's plate. Sakura smoothed out her hair, running her hands through the little tangles and admiring the pink strands hidden among the white. It gave her pause, looking towards Iruka as he observed the two, wondering how different things would be if she had told Kakashi.
How she would feel if it were him across her dining room table.
Deep down, it made her feel an immense amount of guilt. There really was no reason for her to keep Hana from him. She was just scared, and she kicked herself over and over for that being her reason to hide her existence from him.
Sakura looked to Iruka and gave him a knowing glance, communicating that there would be a discussion between her and Kakashi, the first real discussion between the two of them in years.
I made her heart flutter and break at the same time, knowing there would be implications for keeping a secret such as this, and the knowledge that he may never forgive her...
Well, she couldn't even bare to think of that.