Leo's Not a Fire Guy (OR IS HE!)

Or

Meeting the Ice Queen

Whichever you prefer

Reviews: SummerSpirit18; mwhahahahaha, two chapters in one day my dear.

Guest: Thanks guest, and you're right, ** is about to go down. Fuck yeah.

Monkeygirlz3: Thanks girl.

JamesSonOfAthena: So many problems *slasher smile*
Bartimaeus12: I'm thinking that jasper will either be hinted at or actually happen by the end of this thing (I'm planning on doing House of Hades as well, unless for some reason it completely destroys the fabric of my au) but Jason will be very jealous during MoA, but I also want him to have a slight crush on Piper. (ugh, it's complicated) And yep, Jason has been kicked out of the prophecy. Thanks for the question, bro.

Lovely Lady Moon: I have Khione paying a bit more attention to Leo in this chapter, not sure if I'll increase it in the next few or not, and I hope you can feel the jealous Reyna even in Leo's POV.

I SEEE YOU: Piper does have so much wasted potential. Sigh

A.N: Ugh I have this urge to write a complete liper au and an oddly serious crack!fic about Octavian. This needs to stop because this fic is my main priority. *fight the urge*

Leo's POV

It seemed only seconds since he'd closed his eyes, but when Reyna shook him out of his slumber it was already dusk.

"Welcome to Canada," Reyna said, gesturing to the expanse before him. Below them, sat a city of lights on a cliff overlooking a river. In the center was an actual castle, which was an odd sight in the snow covered northern city.

"Quebec," Leo said, "Not Santa's workshop."

"Quebec City," Piper said, "One of the oldest cities in North America. Founded somewhere around sixteen hundred."

"Your dad do a movie about that too?" Leo asked.

"I read sometimes," she replied making a face that wasn't effectual considering the glamorous makeup, "Just because I'm a daughter of Aphrodite doesn't mean I'm an airhead."

"Feisty," he said, "You know so much, what's the castle."

"A hotel, I think," she said.

"Really?" he said laughing, "A hotel, no way."

But when they got closer, he could see she was right. The front entrance was bustling with doormen and valets. Sleek luxury cars slid into drive. People in black suits and elegant dresses hurried inside to get out of the cold.

"Heads up guys," Reyna said, clutching her spear, "I don't know what those are, but they don't look friendly."

Leo looked below and saw what his friend meant. Rising from the tower were two figures that resembled storm spirits, or very angry angels with weapons.

Festus didn't like the angel guys either. He halted midair, baring his talons and wings, and made a rumbling in his throat that Leo recognized. His dragon was going to spit fire.

"Steady boy," Leo said, because something told him that the angels wouldn't be destroyed by Festus's flames, and that they'd be very angry once they stopped.

"They look like storm spirits," Reyna said, obviously uncomfortable with the situation. Leo thought she was right, until they got closer. He could see they were much more solid than venti. They looked like normal teenagers except for their fluffy looking purple wings and their icy white hair (Like Jack Frost). Their bronze swords were jagged like icicles. They looked like they might be brothers, but they weren't twins.

One was as large as a sumo wrestler, with a red hockey jersey, cleats and a few too many missing teeth. The other looked like he was stuck in the 80's. He had a white mullet, pointy leather shoes, designer pants that fit way too tight, and a silk shirt with three buttons undone. Clearly he thought that he was the most attractive thing alive, but he was covered in acne, and Leo was sure that this man would be haunting his nightmares for months.

They pulled in front of Festus and hovered there, swords ready.

"No clearance," the hockey ox grunted.

"Excuse me," Leo said.

"You have no flight plan on file," mullet man explained, with a French accent so awful Leo was sure it was fake, "This is restricted air space."

"Destroy them?" asked the other, with a big gap toothed grin.

Festus began to hiss steam, ready to defend them. Reyna drew her spear, but Leo cried, "Stop! Let's have some manners. At least let me know who has the honor of destroying me?"

"I am Cal," the ox grunted. He looked proud of himself, like it had taken a long time to memorize that sentence.

"It's short for Calais," the other said, "My brother cannot say words with more than two syllables, and that includes his own name."

"I am Cal," Cal reiterated, "And this is Zethes, my brother."

"That was almost two sentences dude," said Leo, "Way to go."

Cal gave a pleased grunt but Zethes but in, "Idiot, they mock you. I am Zethes, which is short for Zethes, but the beautiful lady," he said, directing a wink that looked more like a facial seizure towards her, "Can call me anything she likes. Would you like to have dinner with a famous demigod before we destroy you?"

Piper made a sound like gagging on a cough drop, "That's a truly…..terrifying offer."

"It is not a problem," he said, wiggling his eye brows like worms, "We Boreads are romantic people."

"Boreads?" asked Reyna, "Like the sons of Boreas."

"Ah you've heard of us," Zethes said, looking pleased, "You are not so bad yourself, less attractive girl. We are our father's gatekeepers, so you understand we cannot have unauthorized people flying in this air space, scaring the silly mortals." He pointed below, and Leo could tell that the mortals were starting to notice. Several were pointing up in annoyance.

"Which is why," Zethes said, brushing the hair out of his acne covered face, "If this is not an emergence landing, we will have to destroy you."

"This is an emergency landing," Piper exclaimed.

Zethes studied Piper, even more than he'd already been doing, "And how does the pretty girl decide this is an emergency then?"

"Our dragon is malfunctioning," said Piper, "We have to see Boreas, it's totally urgent." Piper smiled the fakest smile Leo had ever seen, but she still had the blessing of Aphrodite thing going on and she looked amazing. Something about her voice too, Leo found himself believing every word. Something in Reyna's eyes suggested that she knew what was going on and didn't like it, but she nodded just the same. Festus shuddered and then let oil spill from his ear onto a Mercedes below.

"No destroy?" Cal whimpered.

Zethes thought over the problem at hand, and then gave Piper another spasmatic wink, "You are pretty, I mean you are right. A malfunctioning dragon, that could be an emergency."

"Destroy them later?" Cal offered, which must be as close to friendly as he ever got.

"It will take some explaining," Zethes decided, "Father has not been kind to visitors lately. But yes. Come faulty dragon people, follow me."

"If you fixed the thermostat in here I would totally move in," Leo said, looking at the beautiful décor that was covered in icicles.

"I wouldn't," Reyna said looking uneasily at the staircase, "Something feels wrong here."

Festus shuddered and snorted flames. Frost started to form on his scales.

"No, no, no," said Zethes, "The dragon must be deactivated, we cannot have fire here, and it simply ruins my hair."

Festus growled and spun his teeth.

"It's ok, boy," said Leo, turning to Zethes, "My dragon's a bit touchy about the deactivation concept, but I've got a better solution.

"Destroy?" asked Cal.

"No, dude," said Leo, "You've got to stop with all this destroy stuff. Just wait."

"Leo," stage whispered Piper, "What are you doing?"

"Watch and learn beauty queen," he said, "When I was fixing Festus, I found all sorts of cool buttons, some you don't want to know what they do, but others, here we go."

Everyone backed away as the dragon folded up like origami until it was a rectangular package about the size of a suitcase, with a little handle coming out of the top.

"Ta-da," he said, gesturing, "The world's heaviest carry-on bag!"

"Stop," Zethes said, as both he and Cal drew their swords.

Leo raised his hands in surrender, "Ok, if it bothers you that much I don't have to take him as a carry-on bag."

"Who are you," said Zethes, shoving the point of his sword onto Leo's chest, "A child of the south wind sent to spy on us!"

"No!" Leo said, "Son of Hephaestus. Friendly blacksmith, no harm to anyone!"

Cal growled and put his face to Leo's, (this would also haunt his nightmares).

"Smell fire," he said, "Fire bad."

"Oh," Leo said, his heart racing, "My clothes are kind of singed; I've been working with a lot of oil."

"No," Zethes said, "I can smell the fire on you, demigod. We assumed it was the dragon, but no, it's you."

"Fire guy," Cal snapped.

If it weren't three degrees in the penthouse, Leo would have started sweating, "Guys, a bit of help?"

Reyna had already drawn her spear, "Look guys there's been a mistake. Leo's not a fire guy. Tell them."

"Zethes?" said Piper, trying to give him that gorgeous smile again, though she was a bit too nervous and cold to quite pull it off, "Let's be reasonable here. We're all friends, put down your weapons and talk."

Zethes replied, "The girl is pretty and of course she cannot help being attracted to me, though sadly I cannot court her at this time." Zethes pressed his sword harder against Leo's chest, and Leo could already feel the frost spreading across his shirt, making his chest numb. He wished he could reactive Festus, but it would take several minutes, even if he could reach the button. He suspected he'd already be frozen solid by that point.

"Destroy him now?" pleaded Cal.

"Yes," Zethes said, "I'm afraid."

"No," said Reyna, her voice remaining calm, though Leo knew from the look in her eyes that she was about a minute away from drawing her spear and going into full on gladiator mode, "Leo's just a son of Hephaestus. He's not a threat. Piper's a daughter of Aphrodite and I'm a daughter of Bellona, we're here on a peaceful."

"Daughter of Bellona?" asked Zethes, "Well this changes everything."

"How so?" she asked.

He said, "You must be the one we've been watching for."

"Watching her?" asked Leo, "Watching in a good way; you'll shower her with wonderful prizes or a bad way; you're going to kill her."

"That depends on my father's will," a girl's voice said, with almost no expression. Leo looked up the staircase and his heart nearly stopped. At the top stood a girl in a white silken dress. Her skin was unnaturally pale, the color of the dress and the snow that surrounded them, but her hair was made of luscious ebony curls, and her eyes were a chocolate brown. She focused on Leo with no expression, no friendliness, and the pinnacle of stoicism. It didn't matter though, she was the most gorgeous girl he had ever seen, and trust him he was currently in the company of some pretty gorgeous girls. Then she looked to Reyna and Piper. Reyna had a pained look on her face and Piper just looked nervous.

"My father will want to see the one called Reyna," she said.

"It is them?" asked Zethes.

"We'll see," replied the girl. He grabbed the handle of his metal suitcase, he had to meet this girl and ask her some important questions. What's her phone number, would she date a half-blood, the like.
Before he could take a step, she froze him with a glare, "Not you Leo Valdez."

"Why not?" he asked, sure that he sounded like a whiny kindergartener, but he couldn't help it, the girl was mesmerizing.

"You cannot be near my father," She said, her voice remaining expressionless, "Fire and ice do not mix well, though you are…. interesting." Leo wasn't sure if it was meant to be a compliment or an insult, but his heart soared at it.

Piper glared at her, "We're all going together, or not at all."

She titled her head back, she obviously wasn't used to people disobeying her orders, "He will not be harmed, Piper Mclean, as long as you don't make trouble. Calais, keep Leo Valdez here. Guard him, but do not kill him."

His friends turned their glances to him, how do you want to play this, though Piper's looked more nervous and Reyna's looked royally pissed.

Leo felt a surge of gratitude. His friends were ready to fight for him. They wouldn't leave him with the hockey ox. Part of him wanted to go for it, use him new tool belt to summon a sledge hammer, reactive Festus, maybe even throw a few fireballs of his own. But the Boreads scared him, but the gorgeous girl scared him more, even if he'd still wanted her number. He didn't want to get Reyna and Piper hurt, or even turned into frozen statues or something.

"It's fine guys," he said, "No sense causing trouble if we don't have to." Piper gave him a concerned look and Reyna shot a glare towards the ice queen.

"Listen to your friend," the pale girl said, "Leo Valdez will be fine, though I can't say the same for you daughter of Bellona."

A.N: Jealous Reyna is here. You're welcome.