So, this took forever and it's not really long, but this chapter needed to be done before I could take them to the Hummel's. The good news is, things should happen faster again because I'm FINALLY all moved in. I know that moving from Brooklyn to Manhattan doesn't really sound like that big of a move, but it sure feels that way...haha.
There is no comedy in this chapter simply because Blaine is off from work.
Fun fact: I'm certified to teach Zumba! It's so fun!
Come say hi on tumblr! practical-amanda
In a word, the first leg of the car trip from Manhattan to Ohio was...tense. Kurt was pointedly not talking to Blaine, waiting for the other man to speak first, and Blaine was too scared to say anything. He had really screwed up and his awareness of the fact that the longer he stayed silent, the worse it would be, didn't make talking any easier.
At one point, Blaine cleared his throat and Kurt was sure he would say something, but when he was once again disappointed, he just rolled his eyes and turned up the radio to a nearly defining volume, grumbling when he noticed that they were almost out of range of WNYC.
"I have to go to the bathroom," Blaine said suddenly, breaking the nearly three hour silence. Blaine did not have to go to the bathroom.
Kurt glanced over at him, taking in his slumped frame and forlorn expression. He felt bad for him. He wanted so badly to just reach out and take his hand and tell him that everything was okay again, but he knew that in the long run, their relationship would suffer if he didn't stand firm on this one. "There's a rest stop in a few exits. We'll stop there," Kurt paused. His hand reached out to squeeze Blaine's, seemingly of its own accord. One little squeeze can't hurt he argued with himself. "I could use a snack anyway," he said putting his hand back on the wheel.
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"Hello, Marley's phone," Blaine had locked himself in one of the stalls at the rest stop and frantically pressed the speed dial for his best friend.
"Hi Mrs. Rose," Blaine said, recognizing Marley's mother's voice. She must have already made it home for the holidays. "Is Marley there? I really need to talk to her."
"She's in the shower right now, hon," she replied, "can I take a message, or is there something I can help with?" she sounded concerned, probably because of Blaine's tone of voice. If Blaine had met Marley in his childhood, he imagined that Mrs. Rose might have become something of a motherly figure for him, but as it was she was more like an aunt, popping in occasionally to say just the right thing and make sure that he and Marley are properly fed.
Blaine almost said no automatically, but stopped himself. He was a little desperate at this point, "Um...I...I think I really messed up, Mrs. Rose," Blaine said. He then went on to explain what had happened with Kurt the previous day, and how awkward the road trip had been so far. "And now he won't talk to me, he won't look at me, and I'm pretty sure that after he fulfills his obligation to the idiot with no where to go on Thanksgiving, he's going to dump me."
He heard her sigh on the other line, "Blaine, I'm going to need you to stop right there. He is not going to dump you, that's first of all. If the things Marley has said about you two are even half true, that boy is crazy about you," Mrs. Rose began, "second of all, I think you need to think about this from his perspective. He loves you and cares about you and yes, he's upset that you didn't confide in him, but I think mostly he's just sad that he can't be there for you when you obviously need him. He just wants to make you happy," she added. "I don't think he's expecting you to spill your guts all at once, but why don't you just start by telling him exactly what you told me, that you really want him to know everything, but that you need a little help to actually get the words out. I think he'll appreciate your honesty and the fact that you're trying."
Blaine let out a breath he hadn't even realized he was holding, "I think...I think I can do that," he said shakily. "I can definitely do that. Thanks Mrs. Rose, I don't know what I would do without you sometimes."
"It's no problem, hon. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving."
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"They didn't have mochas in the vending machine, but I pressed the button for a splash of hot chocolate in the coffee," Blaine said, pushing aside his anxiety and pressing the cup of steaming coffee into Kurt's hand. He had been waiting for Blaine by the car eating a bag of sun chips. "I hope it's okay."
Kurt stared at Blaine. There was an unreadable expression on his face, but to Blaine's relief, he didn't look angry. "I guess it's the thought that counts," he said with a half smile before he took a small sip. "It's not half bad for vending machine mocha, actually."
"I'm glad you think so," Blaine said nervously, twisting the bottom of his shirt. "Kurt, before we keep driving, can I...can I talk to you?"
Kurt nodded and pulled Blaine over to the picnic tables, "you can tell me anything you want, Blaine. You know that."
Blaine took a deep calming breath, "I do know that, of course I do," he began. "It's just...I...Okay, I've spent my entire life not really having anyone to confide in. I learned to just bottle everything up because...well, because no one really cared. And then you come along and you're loving and caring and so wonderful and I guess...it's just going to take a little getting used to."
Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand, "I understand that Blaine and it's okay, but it's just a little jarring when you tell a group of strangers before you tell me," he said.
Blaine looked down, abashed, "I know and I promise to never do that again, but I'm begging you to understand that I...I want you to know everything, Kurt. I wish I could just open up the contents of my brain and dump it into yours, but since I can't do that, I'm just going to need a little help to learn how to open up to someone."
"That, I can totally do," Kurt said, leaning over to give Blaine a kiss on the cheek. "Why don't...why don't you just start by telling me what you said in your routine, but no jokes this time. I just want to hear it from you."
Blaine took a shaky breath. He could do this. Kurt already knew all of it anyway, "Could I...do you think I could lay my head on your shoulder? I think that would make it easier for me."
Kurt smiled softly and set his coffee on the table before putting an arm around Blaine and letting him lay his head down, "this better?" he asked.
"Perfect," Blaine said, allowing Kurt's scent calm him. "I know I said that my parent's weren't that into holidays, but really what I meant was that they weren't that into me at holidays...before I came out we were like any other family. We had normal, if a little boring Thanksgivings and Christmases, but as soon as I said I was gay, it was like some sort of switch flipped and everything changed. Suddenly I was sent to boarding school and my parents were always either traveling for work or going on some sort of exotic vacation during the holidays, so they wouldn't have to be face to face with their gay son. As soon as I got out of college, they decided that their parental duties were over. They shipped me the rest of my belongings and kindly asked me never to show my face again. That's when I went to New York, met Unique, and well...you know the rest."
Kurt tightened his grip on his boyfriend's shoulder and a few tears slid down his cheek, "oh, Blaine...I...I don't know what to say," Kurt said. "I...I feel terrible..."
"Please don't," Blaine said quickly, cutting him off. He turned in Kurt's arms so that they were face to face. "Don't feel bad, because you've changed everything for me. For the first time in over ten years, I have somewhere to go for the holidays that isn't inhabited mainly by drag queens," Blaine said, unable to hold back his signature humor. "Everything's different now because I have you.
Kurt laughed, wetly, "of course you do, and you always will, as long as you'll have me."
"So...we're okay?" Blaine asked tentatively, brushing a stray tear from Kurt's eye.
"Definitely," Kurt replied, giving Blaine a tight hug, "way, way better than okay."
Ughhhhh I'm no good at angst...gotta get back to the funny...