Chapter 13 - MY LITTLE STAR
Two heads twisted sharply at the child's voice. With Rachel still in his arms, he saw a cute little girl dressed in pink pajamas covered in seahorses, rubbing her eyes with one hand and holding a brown teddy bear in the other.
Theresa, my daughter. God! I'm not ready yet. His impulsiveness may have spoiled everything. He should have listened to Mike, but he was too anxious to wait.
Rachel puts a hand on his chest and whispers, "It's going to be okay."
"What are you doing out of bed, Theresa?" she asked, approaching her daughter.
"When I woke up, you were not there," Theresa replied without taking her eyes off the man standing near the couch.
Tom was still in the same place, as if he'd been shocked. Too terrified to react.
"Were you scared?" Rachel asked.
"Huh-uh," Theresa replied, shaking her head.
"Come here," she said as she pulled the girl into her arms. Then she sat on the couch with her daughter on her lap.
He feels his legs giving out from under him and barely makes it into a chair, back stiff, hands clasped in his lap.
Rachel heard him take a deep breath, could feel the tension and fear from him. This is not how she had imagined this meeting. The usually exuberant little girl seemed abnormally shy, hugging her mother, her small body trembling. She inhaled deeply, kissing her daughter's hair and then a comforting smile hit her lips, letting her daughter know that everything was fine. But some of her tension must have shown.
"Are you ok, Mummy?"
He bit back a curse. Did his daughter think he was a threat? God! Let it be something else, anything else.
Rachel was worried. Though she had fed her daughter's love for her father all these years, she knows that it can be overwhelming for the child to finally meet the man who only lives in her dreams.
"Yes, sweetie, why do you ask?"
"You were moaning I thought you were having a nightmare."
They both breathed a sigh of relief when they understood the reason for the little girl's concern. But the relief was short-lived because she could have seen something while they were engulfed in the heat of passion. Unaware of her parents' discomfort, the little one continued to speak.
"I wanted to wake you up and say it's okay, like you do when I have a nightmare."
"That's very sweet of you, but I'm okay. Nothing or nobody could hurt me with Tom here."
She gazed at him with her big soft eyes, and said, "Hi!" Then the girl buried her face in her mother's chest.
"Hi, Theresa," he tried to smile but only ends up curling one corner of his mouth.
They exchanged a glance, and waited, giving the child time to adjust to the situation.
"I know him," she says the sound muffled by the mother's chest.
"Yes, you know him. We already talked about him, remember? Tom is…"
"My Daddy," she murmured. "Is that why he was hugging you? What Mummies and daddies usually do?"
"What?!" he asked, trying to stay calm… and failing miserably.
Shit! What had she seen? He asks himself worriedly. If she saw everything, no therapy in the world will fix the damage.
Rachel looked at him with surprising calmness. She looked like she wanted to say, don't panic!
Too late, I'm already terrified.
"What do you mean, Theresa?"
"He was hugging you and you said something, he replied, then you laughed, and then you looked at him in a funny way, winking like that," the little one said blinking her eyes, "and he also looked at you, too, funny, he said I'm trying to be a gen…gen…"
"Gentleman?"
"Huh-uh..Then he spoke like him had a sore throat and…"
He ran trembling hands through his hair. He took several deep breaths. It took an effort, but he managed to calm himself down enough that he didn't hyperventilate.
In a voice so quiet Rachel could barely hear her, Theresa said: "I have a funny feeling in my belly, Mummy . Like when I climb on a tree and I'm up there and I do not know how to get down."
"You are nervous, it is normal, but that feeling will disappear when you talk to your Daddy."
She takes her head from her mother's chest and looks at him with open curiosity.
Breathe. Just breathe, he ordered himself, while the lovely childlike eyes studied him with an unusual concentration for such a young child. What if she did not like him? What if she was disappointed to see him in person? He was older, a little different from the hero everyone seemed to think he was. He did not care about the opinion of others, but every father wants to be the hero of his little girl.
If the situation were different, Rachel would have found it amusing to see an adult man, a seasoned soldier, who had faced dangers without even breaking a sweat, looking increasingly restless and nervous under the scrutiny of a five-year-old.
"Theresa, honey. Do you want to say anything or ask something to your father?"
"You are different from the photos. Why are you dressed in black?" Theresa asked Tom directly.
"Because I needed to camouflage myself. Do you know what camouflage means?" Idiot, she's only five, he reprimanded himself. He was so shocked to see his daughter that he could not think of an explanation other than the truth. Pretty much the same thing that can be said of her mother.
"Camouflage is when some animals imitate the color of the place where they live to protect themselves from their enemies," Theresa recited smartly.
"Are you sure you're only five years old?" Tom asked wryly.
"I'm going to be six soon. Mummy promised me a special gift for my birthday, a dog. But if you're my special gift, I think you're better than a dog."
Tom bit the inside of his cheek, as if he was trying not to laugh. He looked at Rachel who seemed to be having a hard time not laughing too. "Thanks, Theresa."
"Are you going to stay for my birthday?" she asked hopefully.
"Of course, I would not miss your birthday for the world," Tom stated in a heartfelt way.
Theresa's eyes became big with excitement, but she remained in the safety of her mother's lap. As if the child was uncertain of what to do next.
"What is your friend's name?" Tom asks to break the silence, pointing at her toy.
"This is Nate; I have had him since I was a baby. I'm big now, but he's my friend," Theresa replied while facing Nate towards Tom.
"Friends are important, they should be kept close. I have a friend, his name is Mike, he…"
"Mike, the bear?" Theresa interrupted excitedly.
"What?"
"Mummy told me about him. He's big and strong, and loyal and scary at times, like a bear. We have code names for almost all of your ship's crew," Theresa said in a conspiratorial tone as if telling a great secret.
"Bear?" he raised one eyebrow at Rachel. "Just wait until he hears this."
"Don't you dare!" Rachel shot him daggers with her look.
"So, honey, what is my code name?" he asked Theresa. Leaning forward from his seat towards them.
"You are the Captain, you are always the Captain, because you command a ship and you travel all over the world," she replied but her face suddenly became sad.
"Theresa? What's wrong?" Rachel asked.
"Are you going to travel again, Daddy?"
"No, honey, I've come to stay."
"Why didn't you come to see me before, Daddy?" She asked in a timid tone. "Why didn't you want to meet me?"
Rachel opened her mouth to say something but no sound came out. She caused this suffering to the two people she loved most in the world. Hearing the insecurity and pain in her daughter's voice was almost too much to bear
Hell! It hurts! He had prepared himself for that question. Yet it was still difficult to deal with the realization that his daughter thought he had abandoned her. The truth? Your mother hid your existence from me all these years. He could not tell her this, in her world her mother had been the constant until now, her safe haven. And it should remain that way. I was sick with sorrow and drowning in self-pity. He would give her an interpretation of the truth he hoped could lessen the damage caused by his long absence.
"Because I was sick, very sick." His daughter was too clever for her own good, so he needed to be always one-step ahead. "I was on an island, there was no telephone, just an old radio, but it did not always work."
Those big, sweet, innocent eyes were wide-eyed with worry. "Are you ok now, Daddy?"
"Yes, honey, I am completely fine now, healthy as a horse, I promise," Tom assured Theresa with a gently smile.
"Do you like horses? Can you teach me how to ride a horse? I tried to ride alone, but Mummy was annoyed ... but she also does not like it when I climbe up in trees, it was just in the low trees, I cannot not reach the big ones yet…
He already has white hair, but it is likely that he will be bald in the near future. He had forgotten how it was around a child, their energy almost inexhaustible, an insatiable curiosity, speaking at a mile an hour and changing the subject with a surprising rapidity. How not to love it?
He looked at Rachel and saw her eyes with unshed tears. She moved her lips without making a sound, but he could understand the words. I love you. I love you too, he whispered back.
They had to talk about what to say to their daughter. She would certainly have other questions, and they needed to be prepared to deal with the situation.
"My grandfather Ronald says that climbing trees is not a lady thing, sometimes he's a little grumpy." Theresa covered her mouth with her hands, "Ooppps! I should not have said that, but I like him anyway, and…"
"Theresa, slow down, you're scaring your Daddy," Rachel cautioned her daughter gently.
"I do?" She asked. Then she shook her head, disregarding her mother's words. "My Daddy's not afraid of anything."
"All people are afraid of something, Theresa, including your old Daddy here."
"You're not old, Daddy, Mummy said your hair was already silver when she met you."
"True! But because of your mother, I almost went bald…"
"Huh?"
"Your mother sometimes made me want to pull my hair in frustration, she is a fearless woman." The little girl had a confused expression. "It means that your mother is too brave for her own good."
"My grandfather Ian says my Mummy is the smartest and bravest woman in the whole world…" Then the little girl frowned. "Are you afraid of storms, Daddy?"
How many grandparents does she have? From what he knew, Rachel had no other relatives. He definitely needed more information.
He looked at Rachel over their daughter's head, knowing they were both remembering that night. The night they had made love. He remembers every detail of that night; it had been wonderful beyond imagining.
"No, I like them. Why?"
"Mummy is afraid of storms, sometimes she cries when it happens. Sometimes I sleep with her to help her, but now that you're here, you can sleep with her."
"We can both protect your mother, what do you think?" He asked gently as he rose from the chair and knelt in front of her, his right hand extended.
"Daddy! Your hand is bruised," she said, her little hands holding her father's hand.
"It's okay honey, your Daddy's a tough guy," Rachel says giving her daughter an affectionate hug. "But like me, sometimes he needs a hug, too."
Theresa leaned forward from her place on Rachel's lap and wrapped her arms around her father's neck. Closing his eyes, he squeezed her tight; enjoying the feel of her fine hair against his cheek, loving the sweet smell of her skin, nothing in the world smells as good as a child. His baby.
"I love you so much, sweetie." he says, moving away a few inches so he could look at her face.
"I love you, too, Daddy. Your hug is good like Mummy's."
A sob caught in his throat and tears flooded his eyes and coursed down his cheeks unchecked.
Theresa slipped completely from her mother's lap to the arms of her father.
"Why are you crying, Daddy?" she asked, reaching up to stroke his cheek
"Because I'm happy."
"Huh? Should you not be smiling? You adults are funny…" Theresa said with a cute frown.
He tucked some loose hair behind her ear. "Yes," he chuckled. "You're right."
"I like it better when you laugh," she says, wiping the last tears from his face, "and I also like your hair. I want mine to be like this."
"Your hair is beautiful like this; you inherited the best of us, beauty and the intelligence from your Mummy and my sweet and charming personality."
Rachel snorted with a roll of her eyes.
"You said he was sweet, Mummy," Theresa says looking over her shoulder at her mother.
"Out of the mouths of babes." He said, amused.
"Theresa, I think you and your father should sit down. In this position he must have cramps in the legs."
The little girl's mouth dropped open, her eyes growing wide. "Oh! Hold Nate for me, Mummy."
"Come on, Dad, I'll help you," the girl says, holding her hand out to him. As he stood up with his daughter's help, he left out an exaggerated painful groan as he felt his joints crack.
"It will be okay, Daddy," she says, patting his knee, "my legs also slept once and it felt like they were full of ants, but after that the pain went away."
"Thanks, honey," he said as he kissed his daughter's nose making her giggle.
"Mummy is a doctor; she can help you feel better."
"She already has," he said looking at Rachel and back at his daughter. "You, my angel and your mother are all that my heart needs."
"I want to show you something, Daddy, wait here," she says, her eyes glowing with enthusiasm as she ran to the stairs.
"Stop there young lady," Rachel stated, her words freezing Theresa mid-step. Rachel had that look that all the parents improve as the children grow up. The look that says, you are in trouble, the look that children fear and cannot ignore.
Rachel knelt to be at her daughter's eye level, "What did I tell you about using the stairs?"
"Running on the stairs is dangerous, I should not run on the stairs," Theresa said as if reciting something back that she had heard a million times before.
"That's right….and?"
"Muuummy!"
"Theresa!"
"Sorry Mummy, I will not do it again, I promise," the little girl says with her sweetest and most innocent look.
With a silly grin on his face he watched the exchange between mother and daughter, thinking that if that look was directed at him, it was very likely that he had already said yes to all the child's demands.
"I love you, dear, I just do not want you to get hurt," she says caressing her daughter's cheek.
"I know Mummy." Shifting restlessly, she asked, "May I go now? Pleeaaassse…"
Holding the laughter that threatened to escape his chest, he realized that Rachel was not completely immune to those big, innocent blue eyes begging for something.
"Okay…go."
Rachel sighed heavily and sat down next to him again.
His face split into a wide smile. "She is lovely, and as beautiful and obstinate as her mother."
"She has your eyes; it's almost as hard to say no to her as it is to you. But someone has to say no to her, because I have a feeling that you will be very bad at it."
"What gave you that idea?" He asked and he added with a malicious grin. "Sweetheart…"
The bastard knew exactly what he did to her heart in uttering that word in that particular tone.
"Don't let it go to your head."
"Too late!" he whispered against her mouth, kissing her lightly. Rachel sighed. Then he was pulling away, an pleased smile curving his lips.
"Two can play that game,Tom."
She's adorable when she's pretending to be pissed off.
"I know, but I always play to win," he replied smuggly.
Her eyes flashed defiantly. He felt the exploring touch of Rachel's hand against his chest, trailing down his torso…she was playing with him, teasing him. He sucked in a breath, let it out slowly. He knew she would do nothing, not with their daughter around. As if reading his thoughts she bent over him and whispered in his ear. "Sometimes a woman likes to be on top."
He pulled away from her as if he had been burned.
Damn, she's good! One of the reasons he loves her. She is always able to surprise him.
"What were you saying?" she asks with a twinkle in her eyes.
"Give me a minute," he said. Words other than that were beyond him at the moment. He forced to regulate his heavy breathing. His mind still overwhelmed by the images her words had awakened in his mind.
"Remind me never to challenge you on anything!" he finally said. "Do you know what she wants to show me?"
They heard footsteps on the stairs.
"We'll know soon enough."
In her excitement, she ignored her mother's warnings and ran down the last steps of the stairs, her small feet almost flying to reach her goal as quickly as possible.
She smiled brightly at him and said, "Open your hand, Daddy." He did as he was told; she laid a necklace in the center of his hand. She opened the oval-shaped silver locket and showed him the two pictures that were nestled inside.
"See, I always had a picture of you with me."
Inside the locket was a picture of him dressed in his navy white uniform. He recognized the picture, it had been taken in Norfolk, before his departure for the Arctic. It looked like it had happened in another life, so much had changed since then.
"Mummy said: I remember thinking how handsome he looked in his uniform and what stunning blue eyes he had, blue eyes that you have inherited, he can charming when he wants, but your father can be stubborn like a mule…"
He gave Rachel a sideways glance and he could swear she was blushing.
"Takes one to know one," he softly told Rachel.
Their daughter was spilling all the beans, it was disconcerting. His ego sure didn't need any more stroking, he knew exactly what effect it had on her. Well, she seemed to have a similar effect on him, this would be an interesting and satisfying game for both.
"And this is me and Mummy," he had already noticed that part, Rachel was pregnant in the photo, her hair was up in a ponytail, she wore a white tunic, sweatpants, and slippers, her eyes were closed, her head tilted to the side as if she were listening to something, a sweet smile on her features, as her hands rested protectively on her protruding belly.
"Mummy gave it to me, she says so we'll always be together. Now that you're here we'll be together for real."
"Thanks for showing me this, honey," he said as he draped the necklace around her neck. Then he asked, extending his arms to her. "Come here."
Without hesitation, the little girl crawled on her father's lap, resting her head on his chest.
"I love you and I promise you I'll never leave you again."
Theresa smiled at him, looking very happy. "Okay, Daddy! "
Gently, Tom rubbed the little girl's back, enjoying the rhythm. He had done it so many times in the past, cradling a child in his arms, that the movements came back almost instinctively.
He imagines what it would have been like to have been present during her pregnancy, watching her body slowly transform to accommodate the life that grew inside her. How many months of pregnancy did she have in this photo, 6 or 7? If he had interpreted correctly, perhaps the baby was moving, and that gave the enchanted look on her face.
"Seven."
Seeing the confused look of her daughter, Rachel decided to elaborate. "Your father was asking himself how many months into my pregnancy I was when the picture was taken."
"How do you know that?" Theresa seemed suddenly very excited. "Can you read his mind?"
Rachel and Tom exchanged an amused look.
"No. Sometimes when we have known someone for a long time, we can understand what the person is asking without needing to speak."
"Ah!" She said, looking disappointed.
"Would you like your mother to read your mind?" Tom asked Theresa gently.
She thought for a moment, then shook her head. She motioned for him to lower his head so she could tell him something. Intrigued, he lowered his head at her request. "Sometimes I think she can," whispered Theresa in her father's ear. "She knows things."
He has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep the laughter bubbling in his chest at bay.
"That's because she's a sorceress," he whispers back, very dramatically.
"Tom!" Rachel says with false indignation.
"You're funny, Daddy."
He could feel his daughter trying to bury herself deeper into his arms, snuggling up closer his warm embrace.
Rachel observed as he gently rubbed Theresa's back and smoothed her hair, then he kissed the crown of her head. Theresa yawned sleepily and closed her eyes. He smiled fondly at his daughter.
"So, Rachel, do you have other powers I should know?"
She opened her mouth to answer, but instead she yawned. "Sorry," she said. "It's been a long day, or night, whatever it is now."
"I think you and this princess here need to go to bed."
"I don't want to go sleep, Daddy. Never. Ever," Theresa declared sleepily
"We are all tired." As if on cue, he also yawned. "You can sleep on my lap and then I'll put you on your bed, what do you think?"
"Can Daddy and I sleep in your bed, Mummy? Your bed is big and it fits all of us. You let Cameron sleep with you once."
"Who?" he asked with a dark frown.
"Cameron is Ronald's wife," she explained.
"Right!" One of the grandfathers his daughter had mentioned.
"I think we can do that, just for today, you're a big girl now and you have your own bed," Rachel told Theresa.
"Okay…." she said, a big yawn escaped her and she cannot keep her eyes open anymore.
"Come on," Rachel said, "I'll show you my room."
"Wait! Let me stay with her just a little bit longer."
"Sure."
She closed her eyes for a moment and realized just how tired she was, both mentally and physically. She had never doubted what kind of father he would be. Loving, kind, protective. Seeing them together finally touched something deep in her heart. As if a missing piece has finally snapped into place. A warm feeling that spread from her heart and warmed her like nothing else could. Then a slow smile curved her lips, because he is singing, she realizes, his voice is very low and very soft, but he is singing a lullaby.
"Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are! Up above the world so high, Like a diamond in the sky…" He paused for a moment as if trying to remember the lyrics and then continued. "As your bright and tiny spark.. Lights the traveler in the dark, Though I know not what you are, Twinkle, twinkle… my little star.." He's certainly not the best singer in the world, but it's the sweetest thing she's ever heard.
After another moment, Tom looked up. Rachel was watching him with a smile on her lips.
"You know, you really are a big softie under that tough exterior, aren't you?"
"When the kids were little they would calm down when I held them close to my chest and sang to them, or maybe they would recognize my voice, or the fact of walking around the room while doing this, or maybe it made them feel cozy and safe, I do not know, but most of the time it worked."
Her throat constricted painfully at the sweetly wistful note to his voice.
I miss them. He didn't speak the words, but he didn't need to.
"You okay?," she asked softly and reached out to caress his cheek.
"I am now. A part of me will always feel this emptiness, but I feel like I can be happy again."
Rising carefully so as not to wake Theresa in his arms, he whispered, "Show me the way."
Her bedroom was like the rest of the house, cozy, a harmonious blend of stone and wood.
"Let me get her necklace off first." Carefully she removes the necklace from her daughter's neck.
With obvious reluctance, he puts his daughter on the bed. Rachel placed the teddy bear in Theresa's arms who instinctively hugged the toy. He then sat down beside her and watched her sleep. After a few quiet moments he kissed her forehead and whispered, "Sleep well, my little angel."
He watched her as Rachel walked to the other side of the bed, and removed the robe.
"Which side of the bed do you sleep on?" she asked, her voice sounding as sleepy as her eyes.
"I don't have a favorite side," he says as he removes his watch and puts it on the night table, and then does the same with his belt.
She sat down on the bed, watching him.
He continues to talk as he sits on the edge of the bed to take off his shoes and socks. "For much of my adult life, just sleeping in a bed was already a gift from the God. So I never had a side that I preferred."
This is so new, their being together, going through the motions of getting ready for bed. It feels right. It feels natural. It feel so... domestic. Her throat tightens at the thought and the implications of all this, they are not only friends, lovers for a night, they are a couple from now on.
"What?," he asked as he notices her stunned expression.
"It's just, I… you… us, everything looks so ... I don't know," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "Real…I guess….."
His face softens and he gets up and then he sat on the bed next to her, pulled her into his arms as he rested his back against the oak headboard. "It's real. I'm not leaving you ever again." She snuggles against his body, burying her nose in the hollow of his throat.
"We will have our whole lives to know each other, soon you will know all my faults, like the fact that I snore..."
She laughs, her breath tickling his neck. "You do not. I already slept in your arms before, remember? Twice."
He pressed a kiss to her forehead instead, letting his lips linger on her skin, as his hands roamed down her back in long, soothing strokes. "How could I forget? The first time I was mentally exhausted and in the second physically relaxed.
"Maybe I can help again," she murmurs sleepily, moving on his lap, as if seeking a more comfortable position. He made a moaning sound low in his throat. His mind is tired, but his body was decidedly wide awake. It's been a really long time…
"Professionally speaking of course."
"You can play doctor any time with me, sweetheart."
"Mmmm," she hums with her lips against his throat.
She sighed contentedly, her head nestled on his chest, and fell asleep almost instantly. His eyes slipped close as he wraps her tighter into his chest, inhales the delicate fragrance of her skin, enjoying the sensation of having her in his arms. Nothing could be more perfect than this, holding the woman he loved while their daughter slept beside them. God! He could definitely get used to this. Until the insistent need to visit the bathroom poked its way into his consciousness. He tried to ignore the demands of his body but it was useless.
He gently disengaged himself from Rachel's embrace. She protested in her sleep as if sensing the loss of the source of heat and rolled to the side. When he returned a few minutes later, he smiled when he saw the little girl nestled with her head in the mother's chest, while Rachel had a protective hand around her daughter's waist, pulling her closer to her body. He just stood there unmoving, just watching, enchanted by the image of the two sleeping. No longer alone, he has a family again. He crawled back into bed, pulling Rachel and Theresa closer to him, his daughter sleeping safely between them.
SCOTCH SCOTCH SCOTCH SCOTCH SCOTCH SCOTCH SCOTCH
He woke up being gently shaken, half-awake and half-asleep, extremely pleased to stay exactly where he was, it took a while to realize who was insistently calling him. He cherished the feeling of waking up in bed with Rachel and Theresa. He felt contented and at peace. Despite sleeping only for a few hours, it was the best sleep he's had in a very long time.
"Daddy, wake up," Theresa whispered to him.
"Sleeping," he answered without opening his eyes, a happy smile playing on his lips and then he rolled over, onto his back.
"Daddy, are you awake?," she asked him innocently, pulling away for a brief second to listen to his answer.
"Hmmm. No," he hummed.
"But you answered."
"I talk in my sleep," he mumbled sleepily. Wondering what she will do next.
Still with his eyes closed he felt his daughter's hands on his face.
"Daddy..."he heard the laughter in his daughter's voice. "Daddy, open your eyes!"
He opened his eyes and smiled lovingly at his daughter "Your wish is my command, my princess."
"Come on, Daddy, Mummy is still sleeping and I'm starving!"
A movement from his peripheral vision caught his eye, and he turned his head before he could stop himself. Rubbing sleep from her eyes, Rachel stretched like a cat, then her eyes closed again, murmured something unintelligible, and curled deeper into the blankets. Not a morning person huh? He thought, amused. Glancing at the clock on the nightstand, he saw that it was just after seven. It was his first time to wake up with Rachel beside him.
He turned his attention to Theresa. "What do you want to eat?"
"I want pancakes for breakfast, with lots of chocolate chips, syrup and…"
Rachel couldn't escape to notice the enthusiastic voice of her daughter even though she pulled the cover up to her chin and buried her head in the pillow.
She yawned and said in a groggy voice, "It's too much sugar for breakfast, Theresa."
"Mummy, you're awake, too! ," Theresa said cheerfully.
Rachel opened her eyes and smiled at them both. "Good morning, sweetie," she says hugging her daughter before leaning in to kiss Tom on his lips.
"Good morning, Tom."
"Good morning, my love," he said softly. He placed his hand gently on her cheek rubbing it with the back of his fingers. He looked into her brown eyes, and then to the daughter who looked at them with a smile on her lips. "I had forgotten how good it is to wake up like this."
Rachel kissed him again. "Good morning, my love."
"Everybody has said good morning, can we go now?" Theresa asked impatiently from her position between them.
They both laughed at their daughter's impatience.
"It looks like we have a grouchy and hungry bear here. I think I have a solution for that," he said as he reached out to tickle his daughter's stomach. Theresa burst into giggles.
"Noooo... daddy…" she squealed and giggled loudly. "Hahahahahahaha... stop...daddy…"
Her daughter's crystal-clear laughter filled the room, her eyes glittering happily as she played with her father, and he looked at her with such tenderness that Rachel's heart seemed to explode in her chest.
He laughed lightly and tickled his daughter's stomach once more, then let her go.
"Are you going to make my breakfast now, Daddy?," Theresa asked between breaths.
"Determined!" he laughed. "It seems that my lovely little princess inherited her Mummy's best quality!"
"Or worse," Rachel murmured under her breath.
"Honey, go brush your teeth first and wash your face, okay? I will follow you in a while."
"Ok, Mummy. I'm so happy you're here, Daddy! This is the best day in my whole life," she said, before jumping off the bed and running out the door to her own room.
"I'm dreaming, aren't I?" Tom asked Rachel in wonder.
"No, you're not," Rachel said as she leaned towards him and brushed her lips against his. "Do you feel it?"
"I'm not sure," Tom said, laughter in his voice. "I'm still not entirely convinced I'm not dreaming."
His heart raced as she kissed him passionately, her fingers trailing through his hair, her breasts pressed against him.
"Mummy," Theresa called out, "I need help with my hair."
She broke off the kiss, a laugh bubbling in the back of her throat, and tried to dislodge herself from him arms. "Tom, let me go."
"Never."
"Mummym…"
"I'll be there in a minute, honey," Rachel called out to Theresa.
With obvious reluctance he released her, not without first giving her another kiss. Rachel reluctantly disengaged herself from his arms and went towards Theresa's room.
SCOTCH SCOTCH SCOTCH SCOTCH SCOTCH SCOTCH SCOTCH
A few minutes later, Tom found himself downstairs investigating the kitchen. He could hear mother and daughter talking and laughing upstairs. With a smile, he went on to gather the ingredients for pancakes. He was alerted to Theresa by her light steps coming down the stairs. His heart melted when he saw his daughter coming down the stairs. A smile split his face from ear to ear. She was wearing a yellow dress, her brown, braided hair was put back with a matching ribbon, her necklace around her neck as she moved, rosy cheeks and a radiant smile. She looked like a little ray of sunshine. His little ray of sunshine.
Theresa sat down at the kitchen table. "Are the pancakes ready, Daddy?"
"Almost," he said, pouring her a glass of milk. "Where is your mother?"
"Mummy will be down soon. I think a vampire bit Mummy last night, she has some strange marks on her neck," Theresa told Tom.
He controlled the smile he wanted to make.
"Vampires doesn't exist, honey."
"So what bit Mummy?" she asks, taking a sip of milk.
"Mosquitoes," he replied with a straight face. "With really big teeth."
"Mosquitoes do not have teeth, Daddy," she corrected him.
She laughed. He smiled back. Her musical smile, bringing light to the dark corners of his soul. He had told Mike that he was too broken and too bitter to be a good father, but ever since his eyes saw his daughter for the first time, the memories and feelings that came with fatherhood came back easily. He found himself doing and saying things just to see her smile.
The scent is one of the most powerful triggers in memory. The sweet scent of cinnamon spread through the kitchen and floated to the second floor of the house. Rachel closed her eyes and memories of the days that they spent together came to the surface with surprising clarity. She could hear father and daughter talking over the breakfast table.
"Of course you would know that, Mummy told me you like insects."
"Butterflies," Theresa said enthusiastically.
"Why butterflies?" he asks as he opens one of the cupboards to get the plates.
"Because they are strong, beautiful, colorful…Mummy said that when I was born a butterfly came into the room. I think they like me."
Suddenly he remembers many years ago on the island when he was working in the orchard and a blue butterfly landed on his finger. No! That was impossible. Just a coincidence.
Theresa went on with her stories to Tom. He lapped up every word that his daughter is saying.
"Grandpa Ian said that the blue butterfly means joy, beauty, can bring luck and grant wishes. I like swimming, drawing, Mummy is teaching me French and Spanish, she reads stories for me every night. She is reading now for me, Le petit prince…"
"Je t'aime plus que tout au monde, Theresa."
"Je t'aime aussi, Papa." Her eyes widened and her little face glowed with excitement. "Do you speak French, too?"
Using a spatula, he transferred two pancakes to a plate, cut a few pieces of banana, some blueberries and added the syrup that he had made.
"Sorry, honey, but no, that is the longest phrase I know and my pronunciation is atrocious anyway."
"It's okay, Daddy," she said in a comforting tone. "You can teach me Russian and I teach French to you."
"I would love that, princess."
"Be careful, it's hot," he warned when he sat the plate in front of her, with the fork on the side. Then he sat down and took a sip of his coffee, watching her eat the pancakes with gusto.
"Slow down, honey, the food will not run away," Rachel said as she entered the kitchen.
"Mummy!" Theresa mumbled around a mouthful of pancake.
"Do not talk with your mouth full," Tom and Rachel said together. They shared a loving smile over their duet.
"These are so good, Daddy cooks as well as you, Mummy!" Theresa declared after swallowing a bite of pancake.
"Does your mother cook?" he asks, sounding genuinely surprised.
Rachel smiled and walked to the cabinet to get herself a plate.
Theresa responds after eating another piece of pancake. "Yep! Mummy makes the best chocolate cake in the whole world."
"I think I'm in love," he joked "I LOVE chocolate cake!"
Rachel rolls her eyes with exaggeration. "I thought you were already."
He did not need to know that she had only learned to cook after Theresa's birth. She got herself three pancakes with a generous serving of syrup.
He got up from the table and joined her at the kitchen counter. Then he cupped her face in his hands, made her meet his gaze. "I love you, Rachel," he said in the husky voice he knew drove crazy. "You know I love you, right?"
She smiled at him in smug satisfaction. "I know, Tom…" Her smile grew and she briefly kissed his lips. "But I like to hear you say it."
"Ah, Rachel…" he said on a long exhale. "I can show you how much."
"It's going to be a very long week," she whispered against his mouth.
He laughed. "You know how to stroke a man's ego."
"That's not what I meant, Tom."
He cocked his head to the side, clearly confused.
"'I'll explain later," she says, patting his arm as she passes. "Don't worry, when the time comes... I will be gentle with your ego, I promise."
He laughed again, a contagious sound that warmed her heart.
"What's so funny, Daddy?"
"Your mother makes me happy," he answers, grinning, his blue eyes twinkling.
"Can I have some more pancakes, Daddy?"
"Of course, my princess."
"With lots of syrup," she requested. "I'm growing, I need more energy to grow."
"She is good," he says, looking at Rachel.
"She is your daughter. Good negotiation skills."
He grabbed her plate putting two pancakes on it. "Here, honey."
"Do you want some coffee or juice?" he asked Rachel. "Or tea?"
"Coffee, please."
"Not tea?" Tom asked Rachel.
Rachel gave him a smile, "Not today. I need the caffeine after the lack of sleep."
He poured her a cup and his, then delivered one to her, and sat down at the table again. He poured a generous syrup on his stack of pancakes and dug in.
"So.. how did you find us? Blake did not tell you, I'm sure of that. Our meeting was scheduled for around 11 am."
Agent Blake Phillips, impeccable suit, perfectly neat blond hair, even after hours of travel, and an annoying tendency to think that Tom should obey his orders.
"No, but our host, Amabel Blanche, was kind enough to tell me where you lived, practically offered me a map. She said something about me being lost for too long."
Amabel owned the only hotel in the city. They were different like the moon from the sun, but they had become fast friends over the years.
"It seems like something she'd say."
"Aunt Amabel always give me ginger snap cookies when I go there," Theresa added to the conversation.
"She offered me those cookies, too. She is ..." he seemed to look for the right word to describe her. The woman could even be considered pretty, with flaming red hair that fell in ringlets down her back, bright amber eyes. Easy smile. But the way she looked at you, as if she could see the deepest corners of your soul, was disconcerting and frightening.
"Believe me, I understand the feeling." Rachel said. "She knew I was pregnant before I told her."
"What are we going to do today, Daddy?"
"Whatever you want, princess, but first I need to return something I borrowed."
Rachel looked at him questioningly.
"It's almost two hours to get here, I needed a car. I left without saying goodbye. By this time they must have realized that I have disappeared. I'm actually surprised they have not called you."
"They'll be here soon."
"Unfortunately," he said under his breath.
Inside his little bubble of happiness, he had forgotten the world outside. It had been practically a week of negotiation between the British and the US governments that their meeting had been scheduled. Rachel was afraid someone else would know about her whereabouts, especially some members of the press. During all these years she continued working, monitoring to avoid surprises in relation to the cure. She was an important asset for the government.
Mike would understand why he had left, but the agent who had accompanied them to the city, would not be too happy to find out that he had sneaked off in the middle of the night, taking his car.
"We have practical decisions to make, Tom."
She looks at their daughter and he follows her gaze. Innocent, happy, protected from the outside world. Being their daughter will carry a weight, which she should not have to deal with, but unfortunately it was something they could not change. It was only a matter of time before the press learned of her existence.
Rachel said, her expression fierce, "We have to protect her."
He stood up and enfolds her in a familiar, snug embrace. "We will."
"Mummy?" she asked from her seat.
"Yes, dear?"
She had finished eating and was now playing with Tom's leather gloves.
"Am I still going to Grandpa's house today?"
"Do not worry about it, it's likely he'll be here soon, we can tell him about the change of plans."
"Yay! You'll like grandfather, Daddy." Theresa said enthusiastically. "So, we can go horseback riding?"
He moaned internally.
"Are you sure you do not want to do anything else?" He didn't have to feign the pleading tone. "Your mother must be more qualified than I am for this." He pictured Rachel galloping along the beach while her hair fluttering in the wind. His fantasy was broken by his daughter's voice
"Mummy doesn't like horses."
"Really?"
Theresa was trying to put on her father's jacket, laughing when she realized it was too big for her.
"I like horses, baby, what I do not like is when you try to ride them alone. Do not look so disappointed, Tom, the fact that I'm English does not automatically make me a skilled horsewoman. "
"I'm not disappointed, Rachel." She raised her eyebrows. "Okay, maybe just a little."
They heard different voices outside, followed by a knock on the door.
"I'll go open the door," Theresa cried, excitedly.
"Wait!" Tom and Rachel said at the same time. Together, they went to the door with Theresa right behind them.
With the door opened, Theresa peeked from behind her Daddy. Her eyes widened in surprise. "Wow! Everybody came to visit us all at once…"
"Hi! You must be Theresa."
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