You didn't see that coming, did you? I hope you enjoy the angst, because from now on, it's going to be a lot of it in varying degrees, but don't despair; we are heading toward a very happy ending! Thank you for reading and/or reviewing!

Emma finds her way back to consciousness slowly; at first she's just drifting, unable to even open her eyes, then the sound of her mother's musical voice gets through to her and finally she feels a big, gentle hand holding hers, her lips lifting at the corners because she thinks it must be Killian's.

"Wake up, Emmy", her father says, using the nickname she hadn't heard since she was a toddler, and she blinks in the bright sunlight filling her room to find her parents sitting on each side of her bed with apprehensive expressions on their faces. "There's my girl."

"Dad... What happened?" Emma asks, her mind still fuzzy, an uneasiness settling over her because she feels like a vital part of her is not quite right. "Where's Killian?"

She tries to sit up but her father's reassuring smile keeps her down, his hand lifting to brush a lock of hair away from her face.

"He's right outside, and he's alright. You can talk to him as soon as you're well again."

"I'm completely alright", Emma says and shifts her gaze to her mother, a cold chill rushing down her spine because there's something her parents are not telling her and there's no doubt it's about Killian. "Bring him here, please, daddy."

The King glances at his wife, but Emma knows that he can never resist her when she reverts to his little girl and calls him daddy.

"Charming", Snow says in a warning tone and takes Emma's free hand in both of hers, and there's something fiercely protective in that gesture that makes Emma incredibly uneasy.

"She needs to talk to him", the King says and stands up, then gives Emma a kiss on the forehead and holds out his hand for his wife. "Come."

Snow looks torn, but after a few tense moments she finally gets up from Emma's bed and kisses her cheek, then lies the back of her head on Emma's forehead before finally following her husband out of their daughter's room.

As soon as they are gone Emma sits up, leaning against the pillows behind her and taking a deep breath when her head spins a little, her fingers finding her side where she remembers a sword cutting through her, but it seems like there's no wound there anymore.

Emma doesn't understand how it's possible, but her stomach clenches because she can tell it's connected to Killian's absence from her side and her parents' tight, saddened expressions.

The door opens and Killian steps into Emma's bedroom, his blue eyes finding hers across the room, and it's clear that something is broken inside him ever though he does his best to give her a brave smile as he walks closer and stops at the foot of her bed.

"Hello, love", he says and Emma wishes her head would stop spinning so she could get up and throw herself into his arms.

"Why are you so far away? Come closer and tell me what had happened", Emma tells him, deliberately ignoring alarm bells ringing in her head.

Killian takes a deep breath as if to steel himself for whatever he's going to say next, but he doesn't move from his spot.

"There's something I need to tell you first", he finally manages and Emma gives him an encouraging smile, sitting a little straighter and tapping the bed next to her.

"Come here then. I promise I won't bite", she teases, desperate to make him smile, to stop him from behaving so weirdly because she can feel panic building inside her with every passing minute.

"You got stabbed", Killian says, his voice faltering a little, his eyes darting to her side that doesn't pain her at all.

"I remember that. I remember that you killed the bandit and caught me before I fell, and I remember that it was cold, and then I fainted", Emma recounts and he looks like every single word she says is piercing him, causing him unbearable pain.

"I am so sorry I didn't protect you better", he says quietly and Emma shakes her head because there's been three attackers and he took on two of them while she fought just the one.

"I'm here, aren't I? You defeated them all."

"You're not supposed to be here", he tells her, and the panic rises, her eyes searching his as she tries to remain calm.

"I don't understand. Can you please come here and explain."

"You were dying. You were almost dead when I carried you to the witch's cabin."

"The witch's cabin..." Emma repeats, and thinks that now she can remember smoke, and somebody chanting over her while she slept.

"She told me she could save you, but that there would be a price I'd have to pay. I told her it doesn't matter, that I would do anything", he says and Emma has had enough, so she ignores her dizziness and shoves the covers aside to sit on the edge of her bed, scooting closer to him along the length of it because she's not so sure she wouldn't kiss the floor if she stood up.

"What is the price?"

"I'm so sorry-"

"What. Is. The. Price?" Emma repeats, looking up at him and telling herself that it won't be so bad, that he's overreacting, that they will find a way to pay it and everything will be okay.

She wants him to hold her and tell her that everything will be okay.

"I must never touch you again", he finally says, and her hazy brain can't connect the words he's saying to the meaning behind them because it's too horrible to even think it.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm forbidden from touching you. If I do, if my skin comes in contact with yours, I'm going to die", he chokes out, and she had never seen such amount of pain in a man's eyes before, never seen a person so ruined over one choice that wasn't a choice at all.

"Please tell me it's not true", she whispers, her hands wanting to reach for him now more than ever, so she entwines her fingers in her lap to keep him safe from her poisonous touch.

"You were dying, love. I had to save you", he says and Emma closes her eyes and ducks her head, tears rolling down her cheeks and dripping on her hands.

"You ruined us both", she says and starts sobbing, her shoulders shaking and her heart breaking as she keeps willing herself to wake up because this can't be happening, not really, not now when they've overcome all the obstacles and a glittering future stretched out in front of them.

Not when today was supposed to be her wedding day.

She can't see a future without him.

Emma cries, lost in all the pain she feels because he's lost to her, but then there's a glimmer of light when her bed dips as he sits next to her, not quite close, but close enough so he can lay his hand on her back.

His touch is delicate, but she can feel his warmth through her nightgown, she can feel the love, and she feels a tiny sliver of hope that they can figure this out, that they can find a way to be together despite the curse that's been placed on them both.

"You're playing with fire", Emma says, perfectly still because she's deathly afraid she might touch him accidentally if she moves at all.

"It's alright", he tells her, and she turns her head slowly to find him smiling brokenly, his hand rubbing up and down her back. "We're going to be alright."

"How?"

"I don't know, lass", he says truthfully, his fake hand rising toward her face, her eyes following it until he brushes his stiff, gloved fingers against her cheeks and wipes her tears away.

"What if I touch you unintentionally?" Emma asks, shivering at the thought and holding her breath until he pulls both hands away and sits next to her silently, his shoulders slumped and his head down as he stares at the carpet.

"We just have to be careful", he says and Emma brushes her hair back over her shoulder, a strand of it brushing against his neck and making him hiss in pain.

"Killian!" She gasps, blood freezing in her veins and her hands hovering over him because she had touched him, and even though he said her skin was dangerous, the same might be true for her hair too.

"I'm alright", he says quickly and presses his hand to his neck, hiding the angry red mark left behind. "It just stings."

Emma can't breathe, and she's staring without daring to blink as she waits for him to fall over dead from her devastating touch.

"Swan, breathe. I'm not dying", he tells her and removes his hand to show her that his neck is back to normal.

"My skin will kill you and my hair will hurt you", she whispers and jumps on her feet when he tries reaching for her, quickly stepping away from him.

Placing safe distance between herself and the man she loves more than she had ever though possible.

"Emma-"

"No! We can't risk it! I can't risk it", Emma yells at him and sways a little because she had stood up way too fast, her body obviously still recovering from being almost dead.

"Please don't push me away", he says, his voice breaking in desperation, his hand stretching toward her again, then falling to his side when he remembers.

Emma blinks away a new wave of tears and stands stock still while he approaches her, every fibre of her being longing for his touch, and when he lays his fake hand on her waist she swallows her sobs and holds onto love, her hand covering his and their eyes meeting, saying everything they don't dare to say out loud.

"You don't know what it would do to me if you died because of me", Emma whispers, tears rolling down her cheeks and dripping from her chin despite her best efforts to keep them at bay.

"I do know, love. You were dying because of me, remember?"

"Not because of you, Killian. You fought valiantly but it was two on one", Emma says but he shakes his head in time with her words, his jaw tightening when he grits his teeth.

"If I still had my left hand, I would've killed all three of them before they could've touched one hair on your head."

"It was my fault. I made a rookie mistake because I've never been in a real swordfight before", Emma says, angry at herself for being so cocky and so confident because it had cost them everything.

If only she had fought better, been quicker and smarter, they would be married now and his arms would be around her and she wouldn't have to learn how to breathe around the agony of being deprived of the rush of his skin against her own.

"I should've protected you."

"It doesn't really matter now. Maybe it was just meant to happen that way", Emma says, gaping a little when he lifts his real hand and carefully brushes her hair away from her shoulder with the back of it. "Killian-"

"Shhhh", he murmurs and bites his lip, suffering the pain her hair brings him wordlessly just so that he can touch her again. "It's alright."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't", he tells her firmly, his fingers sifting through the long strands once more, and she'd do anything to kiss the red marks away, to heal him instead of wound him.

"But I am."

"No, Swan, you're not", he says and kisses his gloved hand, then presses it against her cheek. "Nothing you do can hurt me."

Emma finds comfort in his hand on her cheek, realizing how ironic it is that the only part of him that can touch her safely is the part that he can't feel.

It feels like a stab in her gut.

"Go back to bed, love. You need to let your body heal completely", he tells her but she doesn't move, leaning her face into his hand and closing her eyes for a moment, pretending that nothing is wrong, pretending that the hand that's touching her is warm and real and that she won't kill her love if she gives him a kiss.

"Will you stay with me?" Emma finally asks and opens her eyes, his blue gaze meeting hers unwaveringly.

"Always", he murmurs and steps aside, his good hand hovering over the small of her back as he escorts her back to bed where she gets under the covers and watches him sit in a chair next to it.

"I love you", she tells him, and he smiles, his hand finding hers, their fingers entwining with the sheet between them.

"And I love you", he says solemnly, his thumb pressing against the back of her hand like a promise that he's not going to go anywhere without her.

No matter what, he's going to stay.

"Close your eyes", he tells her, and Emma obeys, feeling so very tired and so very broken, but his presence is soothing, and soon she drifts back to sleep, dreaming about his kiss, dreaming about them holding hands without any barriers between them.

Dreaming about loving and being loved in return.

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