Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I do not own the song "I Liked You Better Before You Were Naked On The Internet" by From First To Last as well as the little blurb I used from "4 In The Morning" by Gwen Stefani strictly because it came on when I was typing that part.

Chapter 13: I'm Sorry, It's All I Can Say

(Michael's POV)

I felt my blood begin to boil when I heard her voice in soft moans of pain through the walls. He was touching her and I knew it. It turned my stomach at the thought of that insensitive prick touching my Nikki. To think that after so many years of holding back my feelings for Nikki, that bastard swooped right in and won her over in mere days. I mean, in a way, she still likes me because Cameron is me. Cameron is me doubled. I'm the older one so he's just a copy of me. That should be me that Nikki is all over. Me who Nikki is losing it. Me who should be able to touch that beautiful part of her body only a woman possesses and men long to get.

Nikki loves me. She told me. She told me that she loved me when I loved her. We expressed our deep and passionate love for each other and I don't plan on letting that promise be broken. We vowed to stay together forever. And I meant forever. Cameron must have lied and said he was me for the longest time before he finally told Nikki that he was Cameron. Better yet, Nikki must just think that she knew him for all of her life like she did with me. He brainwashed her, that's it. That sneaky little bastard. I've become what Cameron used to be to Nikki, no one.

I wanted more than anything to walk into there and break Cameron's neck, rip his willy clear off his body and toss it to sharks. How dare he touch her! Let alone penetrate her and make her bleed but the one time she would! He probably forced her at gunpoint to fuck him. Nah, it was probably with a knife because he's a pussy and wouldn't touch a gun probably.

They don't even like each other mutually. It's one sided and Nikki wants nothing to do with him. I'm the one that is her soul mate, he just needs to give up on her because she used to love him.

It's amazing what you'll find when you just open your eyes
Sometimes love can leave you blind
But still you try, to cover all the lies and ignore all the signs
Sometimes love can leave you blind

I felt vomit come up the back of my throat when that thought crossed my mind. Used to love him? Love. She never loved him. He just pressured her when she was the most vulnerable. He cornered her. He pulled her away from everyone when she was sad I'm sure and kissed her. Cameron probably then confessed his love for her even though she didn't know him. Since Nikki's a nice person, she probably mistook shock for attraction and felt bad for the poor sap and tried to talk her way out of it. Then he probably kept persisting, that pathetic bastard. Then she probably finally agreed to it.

I couldn't even believe that someone as pure as Nikki was succumbing to such a slutty act. To just have sex with someone you met mere months ago is so trashy. I mean it'd be different if it was me because she's known me longer. She must be so confused right now to even like that wanker. It got me so mad. They didn't even have a relationship yet! I know it too because I asked Nikki about her relationship with Cameron and she said they were 'just friends.'

Now they're in his bedroom risking pregnancy and ruining a pair of sheets. It infuriated. It disgusted me. I don't know which feeling was more prominent. I shut my eyes wishing that I could fall asleep so I didn't have to hear the soft squeak of both Nikki and the bed in the other word. But really, what should I care? She doesn't love him.

Then my heart nearly stopped and I almost died. That last thought hadn't even fully finished coming out before she said it. It was her and I know it. There! Now he said it! Those three words that are reserved for someones one and only. She said it to him.

I love you.

She loved me! How could she say that to him with such sincerity?! This was blasphemy! He even said it to her too! This can't be happening! She told me she loved me! She can't just take that back. You can only say 'I love you' to one person. I just don't understand. I know she loves me, right?

What I thought was a certainty (Was a certainty)
Has left me (Left me)
Spinning in circles again

The next morning Cameron and Nikki sat across from each other at the picnic table, constantly looking up from their plates and smiling at one another. Cameron was wearing a true smile I know that's for sure but Nikki's looked rather fake to me. I think since coming here Nikki is a lot sadder. Back in Kansas she always smiled and had tons of friends; here she has two friends and doesn't seem as happy. I mean of course her parents are dead now but that can't account for anything because they don't add to a person's happiness.

I don't even know my parents. They can't effect my feelings. Playa Linda is a terrible place for a girl like Nikki, she must hate it here. Especially with that stupid twat around. Rage spread through my body at the thought of Nikki being unhappy for even a second.

Nikki was the only girl for me and I was the only boy for her. We were perfect. She was so happy when we were together. Technically, she's cheating on me because we haven't broken up. I became increasingly angry at the thought of being cheated on, especially if it was him. Someone related to me. It infuriated me but I kept my face as unchanging as a stone.

Nikki looked over at me occasionally, all hunched over my food like it was my last meal.

"You okay, Michael?" I looked up, being taken away from my thoughts. Who had talked to me? "You okay?" Again. I scanned Nikki's face, it wasn't her that had spoken. My eyes met Cameron's and I felt sick.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" I said through my teeth. Cameron's been looking over me since I came here. I guess it's like he's looking out for me like we were truly brothers. I hated it because I wanted nothing to do with him.

Cameron shrugged, "You're rather quiet. It's kinda unusual for you, no offense."

I spun my spoon around in the bowl, "I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night. There was just a lot of noise," I said all nonchalantly.

They both blushed and looked at each other, sharing silent signals that said that they were hoping I didn't know. I continued to eat my cereal in silence while those two shared small talk at the end of the table. This wasn't the Nikki I knew, she'd always have something to talk about. She isn't happy and it's killing me. I got up from the table once finishing my cereal and went inside. I sat down at the counter and glared at the two through the window.

Comparing to the last time that we had spoke
It seems to me that you're not happy, like you used to be

I wasn't really sure what went on for the rest of the morning because I couldn't tear my eyes away from them. From him. From that traitor. I couldn't believe such a thing was happening to me when I begged my brother to let us come down here for the summer. I specifically came down here so Nikki and I could continue our relationship. She couldn't do this to me!

Cameron and Nikki sat on the couch, barely letting a millimeter of space separate the two. They giggled and cuddled so affectionately it made me sick. I wanted to get Nikki away from him for a second to knock the sense back into her but I couldn't think of an excuse as to why I needed her. They didn't even notice I was there as they swapped tiny little kisses.

"Last night was..." Nikki said with an embarrassed tone.

"Me too."

They shared smiles and then he planted a kiss on her lips, making me see fire in my eyes. Then God must have heard my prayers because Bradin came into the room. "Hey, Cam. Can I talk to you for a sec?" he saked calmly, leaning against the doorframe of his bedroom.

Cameron looked at Nikki, then at Bradin. "Yeah, no problem." Bradin waved a hand at him to welcome him into his bedroom. I knew they their conversation would take a while because I was the one who informed Bradin of last night's little olympic game. I got up and walked over to where Nikki was sitting on the couch.

She turned and looked at me, smiled and went back to watching T.V. This got me a little frustrated but I ignored it. We sat there a moment watching Tom & Jerry before I couldn't take it a moment longer, I had to get it out.

"I know you fucked him."

Nikki, much to my suprise, just nodded her head. "Yeah. Last night. Sorry if you heard but I couldn't help it... It hurt... A whole lot because it was my fir-"

"I don't want to hear the details! I heard enough!" I was slowly feeling my face turn red with anger.

"Michael, what is wrong with you?" Nikki said, finally turning to me, but not saying it in a way that was insulting. Then he face shifted and I knew she knew what was wrong. "Michael, we never really had anything. I-I was confused and sad and vulnerable. You cornered me and I couldn't really say no!" I felt my body jolt with shock at what she was telling me. "I don't know what to say to you... I'm sorry. All I can say is that I am so, so sorry."

To you I'm like a flavor that wouldn't last
You took one bite and spat me out real fast

I couldn't believe that this was happening. Over? "Fine." It was all I could muster, as pathetic as that remark was.

I turned my back on Nikki and walked upstairs to my room, locking the door securely behind me. My whole body was trembling and I couldn't even cry. I don't know if it was because I was angry or because I was so upset that I wasn't anymore. Then it hit me. I'd show her my love for her by hurting.

I walked over to the dresser, rifled through some clothes to the bottom, and picked up my old friend. Boy how I missed him. A sudden adrenaline rushed through my veins when it shined in the light. I turned on the radio, to give me some momentum as I ripped apart my flesh. To my suprise, the radio wasn't on but instead one of Nikki's CDs. Gwen Stefani. I have no idea what the song was but I sat there a moment, listening to the lyrics that seemed to go in tune with my current situation. Yes, this was the perfect song. "Oh please, you know what I need, Save all your love for me, We can't escape the love, Give me everything that you have. And all I know is you've got to give me everything, and nothing less 'cause you know I give you all of me. I give you everything that I am, I'm handin over everything that I've got, Cause I wanna have a really true love, Don't ever wanna have to go and give you up."

I pressed the razorblade down hard on my arm, making sure it was deep enough to scar. I made straight lines, making the letters absolutely perfect. This will prove to her that my love is true and that I'm serious. If I hurt myself, she will know I love her. This pain I'm suffering now as the razorblade sinks into my skin is only a little bit compared to what Cameron will feel when Nikki's mine again.

There, finished. Now I will forever have this on the inside of my arm as a symbol of my love. Blood inked out of my arms in the form of a five letter word.

Nikki.

And now this mark remains, it will never ever go away
And now this mark remains, it will never ever go away
And now this mark remains, it will never ever go away

So there you go people. Two chapters for you full of heavy stuff. I pulled an all-nighter typing these up so I expect lots of reviews. :3
I just want the reviews to know that you guys are still reading ya know? Also, if you want feel free to add some insight as to what you think will happen next or what you want to happen next. Also, too much detail? Needs more detail? ;)

I could of added a lot more detail to all this but I don't know if you guys want that... So lemme know

'Til next time loves.