Again, another month. School's been killer...

Thank you to all you reviewers out there! Your feedbacks are great! I apologize in advance if there are any mistakes in this, I beta myself afterall...

And I was thinking of changing the summary (again). I just really dislike it. But if you think it's fine please just say so cause I have no idea what I would change it to! Enjoy the chapter.

Disclaimer : I Do Not Own Yu Yu Hakusho.

Hydrangea In The Rain

Chapter Thirteen : Grief And Sorrow

Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die. - Gilbert Keith Chesterton

Normal POV

Botan was paralyzed; her fear expressed in her eyes.

"Botan…?" Kibou noticed her irregular breathing, and that she was shaking ever so slightly. She jerked up at her name, giving him a smile; a forced smile. Then she turned to face the visitor, still smiling.

"Masako, what a pleasant surprise, what are you doing here?" The blonde frowned, her black eyes vaguely glaring.

"I believe the real question, is why you are here." Her expression changed quickly placid. "Everyone is waiting for you." When Masako reached a hand over, Botan flinched noticeably, her heart racing. Swiftly, sensing her immediate discomfort, Kibou moved her behind him.

Botan stared wildly at his back while the demon glowered at him.

"Move boy." She seethed and practically hissed at him. He returned her ferocity with a defiant stare.

"Kibou," The ferry girl interrupted before Masako could act, gently touching him on the shoulder. Her voice, however, betrayed her calm appearance. "It's alright. We're… old friends. Why don't you return to the hospital?"

"Botan." He eyed her sadly, his youthful face creased with irresolution. "I'm… not going to leave you behind."

"Ki-" Before she could finish, he was pulled forcibly by the shirt with a clawed hand. Masako lifted him ten inched off the ground; her hand was crackling.

"You're annoying." She sent a continuous jolt of lighting through his petite body and he screamed in agony.

"KIBOU!" Botan rose to assist, trying to make the demon to relinquish her hold. "Stop it! You're killing him!" She cried and Masako sent her a cold stare, back handing the woman with her free hand. Botan flew a few feet and tumbled to the ground.

She pushed her upper torso off the ground unsteadily, watching with tearful eyes as Masako continued to torture her friend. "No… please… STOP!"

"SHUT UP." The cruel female barked, vexed at her cries. She had momentarily stopped her electrifying attack toward the human boy. He had been rendered unconscious after her strike, too weak to lift his head. "You're pathetic. Sniffling over this worthless human like he is something, you're despicable."

A… worthless human? She clasped her eyes tightly together. She could picture Kibou talking to her, laughing with her, smiling at her… Then she heard him scream in unbearable pain; she snapped.

"He's no worthless human!" She spat out, her knuckles clenched tightly and her eyes turned hard with wrath. Masako hadn't heard nor cared and continued her torture, waiting for the boy to expire his life span, classifying her as no threat whatsoever. Botan stood up, her spirit coursing through her body and into her finger tip.

Koenma's explanation of the spirit detective's infamous gun came connately. The demonstration, the dynamics, the trigger; it was all instinctive. Her mind ran on rage and her body drove on fury. With tear spilling from the corners of her eyes, she released her blow.

The unsuspecting target looked left to see a ball of hot, glowing reiki hit her dead on.

Masako was knocked clear off her feet by the power of the blast and hit a tree hard. She didn't reopen her eyes, out cold by the strike's potency.

Botan panted, the attack had sucked out much of her energy. But her mind annulled the feeling, as she thought of Kibou. She ran as fast as she could to find him. He lay on the ground, slightly smoking for the electric shock.

Her eyes swelled with tears and she shakily reached out to see if he was breathing. Holding her hand above his mouth and nose, she could feel the soft, almost nonexistent breaths against her quivering palm. She only had time to smile excitedly before she heard a groan.

Masako was regaining consciousness slowly and Botan panicked. Quickly, but gently, she collected Kibou in her arms and summoned her oar with what little spirit energy she had left.

Making sure they were secure, she took off.

Slowly, his eyes fluttered open and the first thing he saw was Botan. She had him cradled in her lap and her arms wrapped around him so he wouldn't fall. A droplet of the warm salty water landed on his cheek and rolled off, plunging to the world below.

He had been so dazed; he hadn't noticed they were flying.

The cold air nipped at his skin, but he wasn't cold; he was too excited to be cold.
"We're flying…" His voice was hoarser than intended. Botan gazed down at him her eyes lit up with relief and happiness.

"You're alive…" She smiled and resisted the urge to throw her arms around him in exhilaration. He suddenly began to cough and the color drained from her face.

"It's… cold…" He barely gasped out between coughs, and Botan immediately began to search for a landing spot.

She took him to a small, lonely hill with the least amount of snow on it. The ferry girl eased him down slowly to the clear space on the ground away from the precipitation. She removed her jacket and wrapped it around his shoulders.

"I-I don't understand… I had h-healed all your external wounds…" She said to herself to confirm, remembering the difficulty she had while trying to heal him in the sky.

Her eyes widened in horror and realization as he coughed up blood, staining the snow red. "We have to get you to a hospital now-!" She prepared to rise until a firm hand grasping her dress pulled her down.

"No... Stay." Icy blue eyes caught amethyst in an instant and he gave her a small reassuring grin. "Please." She reluctantly sat back down beside him as he wished. He nodded approvingly before going into another coughing fit.

"Kibou!"

"I'm alright. The mountain air was never too good to me..." He jokingly said and was thrown up into a sitting position, choking for more air. Botan worriedly held him up, rubbing his back soothingly, hoping it would help. He only gave her a wistful gleam. "You…you took me flying with you." He smiled, contrasting with the blood speckling his face and shirt.

"It wasn't worth it if you die!" She cried out, the tears pouring from her eyes like a waterfall.

"… Flowers are really amazing." He said to himself and she stared at him. He shook his head, gently chuckling so it wouldn't trigger another attack. "Thank you, Botan… For everything. You made me feel alive."

He touched her cheek softly and smiled as he stared into her eyes, wide with innocence and wonder.

"…" She leaned down and pressed her lips against his forehead. Faintly she could see his blush, and wanted to tease, but the words were caught in her throat. She couldn't bring herself to say anything to him.

"It's okay." He said panting. "Suddenly, I don't feel so alone anymore." He smiled happily. "Ari-ga-tou."

She couldn't help but giggle a little as he did what he classified as being 'weird'.

"See, look. You don't seem… half bad… when you… smi… le…" His eyelids fluttered shut and her heart stopped.

The ferry girl choked on her tears.

"Ki… bou…" Botan cried his name several times before burying her face in his blood stained clothes. He remained lifeless as her tears continued to soak into his shirt. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry." She lay there repeating her apology, clutching the dead body of Kibou to her chest, crying her heart out.

She rested his body carefully on the roof of his hospital, handling him as if he was made of glass. Her fingers brushed some golden hair from his peaceful face.

"I… know you probably followed me. After all, human spirits are bound to their bodies after they… pass on.

…I know because I'm a shinigami, a ferry girl of the dead. I have led many across the River of Styx to Reikai in my existence." Her feigned beam was still etched upon her features, her bottom lip trembled. "You're going to be okay now. Someone will come to take you to see the Lord of the Under… world…" Her voice trailed off and was unable to continue. Botan cupped his cheek which was cold against her hand.

"… You know, I once led someone dear to the spirit world… I was very sad. But at least I had been with her…" She poured out her sorrow, unable to contain it. "A-and I know this an awful thing to say, but now that it has actually come down to this...!" She tightly clenched her heart and stared at his face. His pale skin and light blond hair made him seem translucent; untouchable even to her. She moistened her lips.

"I wish I could have led you too."

Faintly, she could hear footsteps coming up the stairs and after much turmoil, tore herself away from his lifeless body.

"S-sayonara, Kibou."

…. Falling, plunging, dropping from the sky. Her oar had vanished beneath her in midair, but she seemed not to care. Clouds brushed quickly against her cheeks, leaving them red and irritated from the cold wind.

She plummeted, hard and fast, like a bird shot out of the air. Her unresponsive corpse hit black masses that cushioned her descent. Her body did not move, but she scanned her surroundings with fatigued eyes.

It was an alley so bleak, not even rats would dwell here. She blinked inertly and slid off the heap of trash bags that broke her fall. Her body shook with ache, the lack of energy a constant reminder of the day's events.

She bit her lip and clenched her fists against the ground, wishing the pain would melt away along with her memories.

Botan pulled herself up, managing to position her back against the graffiti-ed brick wall that categorized the passageway as dead end. Finally, she drew her knees to her chest and began to sob.

Her world had shifted yet again.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, cause I sort of liked how it turned out. Besides I think this story is starting to finally pick up.

Yeah, it was sort of fast paced because that's how it's supposed to be (especially with Botan's attack on Masako)!

Thanks again for reviews, though some people don't even remember Masako's name in reviews (which I find is pretty humorous...). And thanks to all who read and please review!