"You know, Joker, you may want to have a chat with EDI about this "random destination" stuff. I'm not sure that the planet sized strip club that is Azure is the best place we could've ended up," Shepard said.
"I don't know what you're talking about, sir. This is the best place she could've taken us. What better way to boost morale and get everybody's minds off of the fact that they were led into a trap?"
"Well you wouldn't be wrong if this was a military ship but there are certain elements who would prefer a classier place to wind down. Elements that have a habit of murdering anything that they perceive as an injustice."
"What could possibly be unjust about a bunch of hot blue chicks putting their assets in your face?" Joker asked innocently.
"The fact that you're thinking of an alien that way doesn't gross you out just a little bit?" Shepard asked.
"Clearly you've never seen my porn collection."
Shepard could feel Miranda's disgust behind him and turned around. "Good morning, your majesty. I trust you slept well?"
"Commander, I haven't had nearly enough coffee to deal with the two of you on top of The Illusive Man's recent antics yet but a nearby colony sent out a distress call. It sounds like the Geth have taken over a nearby space station and intend to ram it into said colony. We have about three hours at their current trajectory and velocity."
"Joker, get us there yesterday," Shepard said. Half-heartedly, Joker complied. "EDI, tell Tali, Miranda, and Grunt to get ready for a mission against Geth and that I want Grunt to bring the Revenant."
Say what you will about Krogan marksmanship but accuracy by volume is a very real thing. And there's few things more effective than a berserker laying down a hail of lead against the enemy while you flank and hit them with precision fire. If only somebody can tell the Alliance about the whole "combined arms" concept, they might be able to start winning wars. While Grunt and Shepard were taking a direct approach to combat the Geth, Tali was sending out drones and remotely hacking some of the less intelligent platforms while Miranda was busy making sure they didn't crash onto the planet. During the chaos, a Geth Hunter had gotten within spitting distance and hit Shepard with a fully charged blast of its plasma shotgun. He hit the deck and lay still, meanwhile Grunt charged the Hunter and blasted it apart with his Claymore shotgun.
"Grunt, get Shepard behind cover!" Miranda yelled as she finished her job and began firing accurate bursts with her SMG at any Geth who raised their heads out of cover.
Tali had stopped cold at seeing Shepard go down. He was her mentor, her hero; invincible. But that's not true. He had already died once and could die again. Determined not to let that happen, she began a cyber assault on the Geth with everything she could throw at them.
Miranda launched an EMP grenade at the largest cluster of Geth, overloading their shields and quickly followed up with a biotic assault. Their combined efforts worked well enough until a Geth Prime joined the fray. Miranda tried to launch another one of her grenades but the automated turret shot it down too close to her and fried her own shields, tripping the emergency backups.
Tali tried to hack its turret, only for the Prime to hack her own Omni-tool and fry the circuitry.
Grunt, in typical Grunt fashion, responded with a storm of bullets. The combined fire from the turret and the Prime's own Pulse Rifle forced Grunt to put his head back down behind cover.
"Grunt, Tali, keep him occupied for a few seconds!" Miranda said on an encrypted channel, hoping the Geth Prime couldn't hear them or hack their communications.
Staying behind cover, the two of them fired in the general direction of their enemy while Miranda launched every EMP grenade that she had, reasoning that at least one would get through and she could restock later.
As it happened, three grenades managed to get through and barely managed to overload the shields. Now they needed to pierce its armor but only Grunt's Revenant was really up to the task. The best Miranda could do would be to launch a warp field to weaken it and Tali could only support them or cause a distraction with her drone.
The Geth Prime walked through the hail of bullets to get around their cover so it could return fire. Tali and Miranda's shields were quickly overloaded and they both took a hit to their legs.
Enraged, Grunt charged the Prime and tackled it to the ground where he proceeded to beat the thing into scrap metal. Tali's suit automatically clamped down on the area, preventing her from bleeding out while Miranda had to apply Medi-gel and a tourniquet.
The three of them searched the ship, found no surviving Geth, and brought Shepard back to the shuttle.
Meanwhile, on the Normandy:
Jab, cross, kick, hook, duck, uppercut, mix and repeat. John-117 had been practicing for hours. There's only so much weapons' maintenance that can be done before you do more harm than good. Your armor can only be so pristine before it shines and becomes a liability. After all of that, the only thing that he could do to take his mind off of things is train incessantly. Even then, since Grunt was the only member of the crew who can take a punch from him without dying and said Krogan was currently on a mission, training was less than optimal.
"Something troubles you, warrior," that blue alien said to him. Samara or something.
The Master Chief looked at her expectantly. Somehow conveying the question, of "your point?" without saying a word or making any facial expressions.
"I do not mean to pry but I could sense it from two decks above and decided to see if I might be of assistance."
The Master Chief sighed and shrugged. He wouldn't even know where to start if he did want her help.
"I see. Perhaps I can be of assistance in another way," Samara said. Before the Master Chief realized what she meant, she launched him across the bay with a biotic throw.
Recovering just in time to roll with the impact, he sprang to his left before she could get him with a follow up attack. Time sped up and slowed down simultaneously and he was primed and ready to kill.
This wasn't the first time that Samara was physically outmatched and it wouldn't be the last. Still, she didn't expect the human to move so fast. He could almost rival a charging Asari Commando but more capable of making a quick change in direction, thus dodging her attacks. Also like fighting a Biotic, the Spartan had a habit of throwing large objects at her to distract her. Whether he was trying to close the distance or tire her out, she wasn't sure.
"All right, everybody. Welcome to the first night of the SR2 Fight Club! Place your bets now on the ruthless and beautiful Justicar Samara or the mysterious and deadly Spartan!" Joker said over the intercom from the pilot seat. The entire crew was watching, whether from the catwalk above the shuttle bay, or from a viewing screen elsewhere on the ship. "See, Garrus, I told you this was a great idea," Joker said on a private line.
"What are you talking about? it was my idea." Garrus said.
"But I'm pulling it off," Joker pointed out. It was hard to argue with that logic so Garrus conceded.
"Put me down for twenty on Samara," Garrus said.
"You're aware that the Master Chief took on a heavy mech in hand to hand and won? Two if you count landing on one from a mile up."
"That's with his power armor. Samara doesn't lose her biotic powers when she takes her armor off," Garrus replied.
After tallying all of the bets, EDI informed Joker that Samara was indeed favored to win by most of the crew.
It turned out that the Spartan was merely trying to close the gap and force her into hand to hand. By using her biotics, she could increase or decrease her mass at will and she was skilled enough to do it with a single thought, allowing her to hit with the force of a Krogan and the speed of a viper.
Still, she was hard pressed to keep up and maintain her guard. Her foe was strong, fast, and absolutely relentless. He reminded her of a Krogan Battle Master. Experience with such beings had taught her that she should be patient and wait for an opening caused by the enemy's bloodlust and carelessness. But that didn't seem to apply in this case as every motion the Spartan made was calculated and efficient. If an Asari Commando ever mated with a Krogan Battle Master, and said offspring became a matriarch, they would be very similar to this Spartan… He feinted and she fell for it, leaving her open to a vicious punch in the ribs that knocked the wind out of her. Likely cracking a few.
Before the Spartan could press his advantage, she doubled down on her defenses, making her move slower but much more durable. The Master Chief mistook her sluggishness for fatigue and pressed harder, throwing a punch that should've shattered her jaw into a thousand pieces but merely knocked her to the floor. She was able to recover, albeit with unsteady legs.
"A good victory, Spartan," Samara said, "I hope our bout granted you a moment of clarity in your turmoil."
"Thank you," he said. Stoic but genuine.
"All right, everybody. It looks like I cleaned you out. Come again next time to try and win your money back," Joker told the crew.
"That was bloody cheating and you know it, Joker," Engineer Donnelly said.
"The stat sheet said he was genetically enhanced. That goes way beyond human. He has to be a cyborg or something!"
"Don't blame me, EDI is the one who put the stats out," Joker replied.
"My records have him logged as 'genetically enhanced' and I am unable to modify them. It is possible that his nature is classified from my knowledge."
"Joker, this is Lawson, tell Dr. Chakwas to get the med lab ready, Shepard is in critical condition!"
"Shit. I'm on it!"
"His condition is stable but I have to recommend taking a break. His body is showing signs of critical fatigue, which may have been what got him shot in the first place," Dr. Chakwas said to Miranda, Garrus, and Tali.
"How long do you think before he's back in action?" Garrus asked.
"I would prefer if he took at least two weeks off but knowing him, I'm only asking for a week. Although he should be on his feet by the end of the day with the way his cybernetics have upgraded his metabolism," she explained.
As Garrus walked away, he raised Joker on the COMM, "Doctor orders a minimum week long vacation in Azure."
"Hell yeah!" Joker replied.
"Are you serious?" Tali asked.
"Listen, Tali. Shepard is fine and needs a break. I can't think of anything more relaxing than getting a pretty girl to grind on you."
"You're a Bosh'tet," Tali said.
"Let me put it like this: Shepard doesn't want us worrying ourselves sick over him, especially since he's going to make a full recovery soon. Relax, sweetheart; you might even enjoy yourself."
"Because a strip club is a great place for a Quarian to relax," she said.
"Well they have ultra clean rooms just for their Quarian dancers and customers," he pointed out.
She glared at his backside as he walked away. Then started to think it over. Maybe she did need to relax. It's been a stressful few months.
When Shepard came to, he noticed Ms. Lawson observing through the window, looking relieved for a second before her face became impassive once more.
"Shepard, it's good to see you recovered," she said.
"Aww, were you worried about me?" he teased.
"Hardly. I just wanted to apologize for pushing the mission on you so soon. I should've realized that you would need to rest after so many missions."
"Speaking of, did we get it done?" he asked.
"Yes, we managed to get it done," she smiled.
"Good, no harm done then. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to take a nap."
"There was one more thing, Shepard. If I may speak freely," Miranda hesitated.
"Since when did you need my permission to speak freely?" he teased, trying to lighten the mood.
She ignored his comment, "It came to my attention that putting you on every mission as we've been doing puts unnecessary stress on you and can lead to another situation like yesterday."
"What are you suggesting?" Shepard asked.
"I know you prefer to take an active role in missions but maybe you should only directly participate in high priority missions. That way you stay fresh for when we need you and everybody's chances of survival go up."
"But what would I do while somebody else is running a mission?" he asked.
"Make sure everybody has what they need to do their job, keep morale up, keep the Alliance off of our backs in the same way I've kept The Illusive Man off of our backs."
"You want me to be a POG?" he asked incredulously.
"I want you to be our Commanding Officer. I know you're used to being on the ground but humanity needs you alive. Even during your N7 days you weren't running a mission every day, sometimes two in one day. You were the best humanity has to offer even before we rebuilt you harder, better, faster, and stronger but you're not super human."
"Not like the Master Chief? Was that a Daft Punk reference? "
"The Master Chief has nothing to do with this," she responded. "By the way, it as a reference to the Six Million Dollar Man."
"Do you know what it's like to be overshadowed every step of the way by somebody who effectively came out of nowhere?"
"Shepard, the pain killers are distorting your judgment. Stop while you're ahead."
"Answer the question, Lawson."
"Shepard-"
"Miranda, that's an order."
"Be very glad that I've invested two years of my life into bringing you back. I don't have time to address your childish behavior," she said as she walked away.
That night, the Master Chief was standing vigil over Cortana. Miranda pretended not to notice him as she continued working at her terminal. When she had reached a good stopping point, she looked over to him again; he hadn't moved.
"And they say I need to sleep," she said. He looked in her direction, acknowledging her attempts to make a conversation.
"Are you a hero where you're from?" she asked.
"No."
"I find that hard to believe," Miranda replied.
"A hero goes above and beyond their duty. Anything I have done was done as a part of my duty."
"And everything you're doing for us?"
"I swore to protect Humanity, Earth, and all of her colonies; whatever the cost," The Master Chief said.
"Even though we're not your humanity and not fighting for your Earth?" Miranda asked.
"Semantics," he replied.
"Is your concern for your friend part of your duty as well?"
"I made her a promise."
Unnoticed by either of them, the AI in question was listening to their conversation. The new information only added to her turmoil.