The next request is for Gyarii, who requested...

Gaius and Cordelia C

It was a very beautiful day, and a perfect one to steal some sweets from the cargo hold. With his level of skill, Gaius SHOULD be enjoying pilfered sweets of unparreled greatness. However, Gaius did not count on a concerned woman foiling his plans,

"Ah, Gaius. Weren't you wearing those same exact clothes yesterday?"

Gaius looked down himself. He was wearing his favorite cloak, with his proud stains of honey, sugar, and... Wait, what's that blue stain? I don't remember eating any blue sweets since last month... Wait a minute... Why does my cloak matter?

"That a problem?"

Cordelia stared at him intently, causing Gaius to shuffle about uncomfortably. Her glare was starting to scare him, but her tone sounded very... motherly, which caused Gaius to feel confused on whether to be scared or ask her if he can have a cookie. Cordelia sighed,

"And unless I'm very much mistaken, you also wore them the day before that."

Gaius sighed right back at her, "Yeah, well, this is my favorite outfit. Why are you so intrested in my attire?"

Then it hit him. Could it be that maybe... she's got a thing for me? He eyed her up and down, you know, I wouldn't mind sucking her honey... Or maybe I'm just overthinking this. Yeah, that's probably what I'm doing. But just in case...

"You fancy me or something?"

Cordelia's face showed a light hint of a blush, but Gaius didn't notice it. She then rolled her eyes, "I'm simply trying to offer a piece of friendly advice here."

She eyed him up and down, but wasn't looking at him like he was at her, or at least Gaius didn't think she was. He restrained from cracking a joke, afraid that a joke would make Ms. Prim and Proper light up like a christmas tree. After she was finished, she sighed, "Perhaps you don't realize that you look and smell like the floor of a tavern. That shirt is covered in honey, and the less said if your pantaloons the better."

What the hell are pantaloons? Are they my pants or underpants? But now that she mentions it... I do look a little... Messy. Really messy, actually...

"Oh. Actually, uh, I hadn't noticed."

Cordelia sighed again, causing Gaius to question just how many sighs she sighed today. He put his candy on about 59, but it was really anyone's guess. Cordelia started rambling again, "Not to mention your hair needs a trim and you have crumbs stuck to your face... And is that a turkey leg I see sticking out if your pocket?!"

Turkey leg? Oh, sweet! I forgot I had that!

Gaius started eating the leg, causing Cordelia to be taken aback. Her face was bright red, "Heavens, Gaius! Don't you care about your appearance at all?"

After Gaius finished his ?-day old turkey, he smirked, "Well, as long as it's not slowing me down on the battle field, right? I'm not some fancywaist who needs to strut about like a peacock."

Cordelia sighed, bringing Gaius's guess-how-many-sighs counter to 60. "Well, perhaps you should consider it regardless."

Gaius realized this was a lost battle, so he decided to do what she said, "All right, all right. Message received. I'll put on some new clothes, mother."

As if she had suddenly become one with her new nickname, Cordelia started speaking as if Gaius were her twice removed brother in law, "Don't forget to comb your hair. And wash those old clothes in vinegar, or you'll never get the smell out."

Gaius muttered under his breath, "... I'm going now."

"Once washed, if you want to reduce the wrinkles, take a willow reed and..."

Gaius had snuck an impressive 4 inches before Coredlia spotted him, "Hey! Don't walk away when I'm talking about laundry!"