Well here we are at the penultimate chapter. It has been a long road for Tenzō and Kakashi.
From here, their future is set. No matter the outcome, it was Tenzō's decision...it always was his decision. I had no say in it, he was quite adamant.

All mistakes are mine as this is unbeta'd. A huge thanks to all for comments and such, truly appreciate it! I hope you enjoy it :)

Tenzō lived in a dream world, moving between three different realities, none of which he could identify as his own. He cycled through them, spending various lengths of time in each, never really knowing which one was real.

There was the Village, in which he walked the streets of Konoha. The Wilderness, in which he would wander for miles, content to just keep going forward. Then, there was The Room. This was the reality he disliked the most. It was a bizarre world and the only one in which he could actually feel.

In the other realities, he often found himself unconcerned as to why his life was entwined in three different locations. He walked them in an apathetic haze; unfeeling and detached from his surroundings. But The Room was an alarming place of confusion. While there, he felt dark memories rise to the surface and was overcome by such raw emotions that it made him choke and fervently wish to leave. When he cycled out of The Room, he would return to one of the other two realities and continue to live without feeling or care. Unfortunately, The Room seemed to be cycling round more often and he despaired whenever he entered the hateful existence.

He was in The Room now, confused and drowning in emotions from which he could not escape. He lay on a bed, his surroundings blurred and indistinct as if he was looking through obscured glass. What appeared to be people often hovered around him. They moved so fast, flitting in and out of his visual field as little more than dark shadows with no discernible features. When they spoke, their voices were a high pitched squeaking, too fast for him to understand. Adding to the effect, Tenzō's own movements felt so glacially slow as to be non existent. He was unable to communicate with the fast moving shadows as his words were not strong or fast enough to be heard by them.

Tenzō recognized and understood very little. His mind cried with fear and struggled to make sense of his surroundings and the torrent of emotions he experienced there. He felt a strange detachment from this environment. It was if he existed in The Room, but was completely out of phase with it.

He was relieved when everything darkened. The realities shifted and he found himself back in the Village. He wandered through the bustling crowd in the busy centre on Market street. With the strangeness of the room forgotten, Tenzō relaxed as his mind slowed considerably and he lost himself once more in a state of weary indifference. But it soon became apparent that something was different. Normally so welcoming, the Village felt strange and forbidding. No one seemed to notice him, even when he waved his hand in front of their faces. People looked through him, not at him. Tenzō's apathy evaporated and he began to feel uneasy.

Thick storm clouds rolled across the sky, hiding the sun and turning the air cold. Tenzō shivered as he looked around, noticing that the people who had been rushing about a few moments before, had vanished. The village was empty. It felt alien and unnerving. He had never seen it like this and an icy fear spread through him. This was not his home. It wasn't Konoha at all. It looked like the village, but it wasn't.

He noticed a man appear from a side street, walking purposely towards him. He looked a little like a man Tenzō once knew. Tall with a shock of unruly silver hair, he wore a mask, just like the man he resembled. But that was where the similarities ended. His jawline was more square, his eyes larger and darker. He stopped a few feet in front of Tenzō and sighed.

"This isn't your home, Tenzō. But this, might help you find your way back where you belong." The man handed Tenzō a crumpled piece of paper.

"Yōkai?"

The man's eyes curved in a smile as he nodded his head. "I am Yōkai. But you don't need me anymore, Tenzō. The one you need, is waiting for you."

Tenzō pulled the note open and flattened the paper between his hands.

Tenzō...it was always me...don't leave me...not like this...

The message didn't make any sense. Who had written it? He turned it over to see if there was anything else and nearly dropped it in alarm. There was a message written on the reverse of the paper. Thick, angry black letters were scored there as if written in haste.

This is not real! WAKE UP!

Tenzō was pulled instantly back to The Room, only this time he was laying on his side. A dark shadow moved beside him, rapidly speaking as it held a hand to his head. He felt something brush his mind and shuddered within himself. The hand was removed and the shadow spoke, but all he heard was high pitched squeaking and he failed to understand its words. Then the shadow disappeared, as did the entire room.

He wandered through the Wilderness, stuck there until his realities cycled again. He was not sure which reality was real, but for some reason, he wanted to be in the most terrifying one. For reasons he could not fathom, Tenzō wanted to be where the shadows were and felt himself being drawn there. He heard a chuckle beside him and turned to see Yōkai, walking by his side. The man had changed. His hair was shorter and darker than before. His eyes were a slightly different shape.

"Not long now, Tenzō." Yōkai said, his voice lower in tone. "Not long now."

"Until what?"

Yōkai just chuckled again and held out his hand, within which was another note. Tenzō stared at it, afraid to see what was written upon its smooth surface.

"Read it, Tenzō. It will be over soon."

Tenzō took the note and opened it slowly. The words written were clearer than before, delicately written in a tidy script.

Tenzō...come back to me...I want to take you home.

His hand shook as he turned the note over. His mind was changing. Thoughts formed and slipped into place where before they had only been a jumbled mess which he ignored. On the back of the note, in the same angry black writing as before, was another message.

THIS IS NOT REAL! YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP!

Again, he was pulled back into The Room, away from Yōkai and the wilderness. The room was less blurred than before and he could tell that he was laying in his side, staring at a wall. Something moved in his vision as a shadow stood before him. This time, it was more recognisable as a person and Tenzō wondered who it was. He felt his body being turned onto his back and became aware of a second person at the other side of his bed.

He felt a damp cloth press against his skin and wash his face, then a soft fresh towel wiped it dry. This continued until his whole body was washed, dried and dressed. Someone was caring for him, but why? He felt a tugging at his head and realised that his hair was being brushed. All of these sensations were external to himself and it felt strange. No matter what reality he found himself in, he had always felt disconnected from everything.

But here, he felt an attachment and that meant that he had some tentative tie to this place. With a rush of understanding, Tenzō realised that he belonged in this reality. This was where he really existed, laying on a bed in some unknown location with people caring for him. With this knowledge came a rush of intense feelings of fear, guilt and terrible shame. There was something in his true reality that he had to face up to, something so terrible that as soon as he recognised this fact, his mind clamped down and he fled within himself.

He found himself back in the Village. Night had fallen and a single light shone in the very centre of Market street. Tenzō looked around, seeing nothing but darkness surrounding him. It was as if nothing else existed outwith the downcast light, as though the village had slowly disappeared until all that was left was the light and the ground it lit.

He heard a shuffling sound in the darkness and watched as Yōkai wandered into the light. Again, he had changed. He seemed familiar, but in a different way than before. His hair was dark, his eyes even darker. He was slightly smaller, more similar in height to Tenzō himself.

"It is time, Tenzō. You have to let go and return." Yōkai said, smiling.

"Return where, Yōkai? Where am I meant to go? What am I meant to do without you?!"

Yōkai laughed and clamped a hand on Tenzō's shoulder. "Open your eyes, Tenzō. See me for who I am."

Tenzō frowned, his brows knitting together in confusion until a shocked gasp burst from his open mouth and he finally saw who this Yōkai really was. He stared at a copy of himself, dressed in his old Jōnin uniform, the face protector square on his face. His hair was short and tidy as it had been when he left Konoha. He looked happy and untroubled, as if this version of himself had never endured the suffering Tenzō had throughout life. He looked at Tenzō with a warm smile.

"You got lost within yourself a long time ago, forgot who you were, forgot about me. I am the part of you that you pushed aside when you felt unworthy of happiness. But you need to reclaim your identity, Tenzō. You know this, otherwise we would not be here. You have to believe in yourself and find the courage and strength lost within you. Only then, can you heal."

His copy held out a hand, one final note clasped within it. Tenzō took the note, seeing that it was larger than the others and that there were many more words written upon it. As he read it, he became aware of a voice that seemed to echo around him. His other self nodded and chuckled as if this was a good thing.

The disembodied voice spoke the same words that Tenzō read. As the voice continued, a low thumping noise began to sound. It was a steady beating that grew in strength until Tenzō could identify it as a heartbeat. With every beat, the light above them flickered and grew dim.

"...the place won't be complete without you. Come home..."

"...I wouldn't be where I am today without your help..."

"...Just you and me bud, best by far!"

The light faded until he could barely see the words on the paper and when Tenzō looked up, he could only just make out his copy's face in the increasing darkness. He seemed very happy, jubilant almost, as if something had happened that Tenzō did not understand. The heartbeat got louder and Tenzō realized that it was his own heart beat and the voice was external to him. It was not a construct of his mind.

He stared at his other self, finally understanding what was actually happening. The sound of his heartbeat quickened and the voice pulled at him endlessly. He could feel himself leaving this fading reality and his copy nodded then held out a hand to touch Tenzō's forehead.

"Go home, Tenzō. Find the help you need, and live."

The copy exploded into a hundred tiny lights that danced in the darkness. The lights began to swirl and combined to become a glowing mass that settled over Tenzō and slowly pressed through his skin, becoming part of him.

As if he had just found a fragment of himself that he had misplaced, Tenzō felt his mind become complete. That fragment of himself opened up the things he had pushed aside for many years. All the needs, wishes, desires and happiness that he wanted for himself suddenly became important to him.

He wanted to be happy and not feel guilty about smiling and enjoying himself. He wanted to see his friends and Konoha again. He wanted to love and be loved in return. He wanted to laugh and not chastise himself for feeling joy. He wanted to create things, build things and not feel like it was a chore or a punishment. He wanted to put the past behind him and move forward with his life.

I want to live!

Like a firework exploding within his skull, Tenzō came crashing back to himself and the world. The immense wave of consciousness caused him to snap back into reality, but the massive barrage of information left him stunned.

The overload stalled his mind and Tenzō could neither move nor speak. He could not even begin to fathom the mechanics of his own body. So he lay there, listening to the voice that was so clear now it pulled him fully from his internal cocoon.

"...don't you see? You left behind a family you had no idea you had, Tenzō. They are all waiting for you to come home. I...I'll wait on you, forever if I have to."

As Tenzō's mind consolidated, he heard a rustling noise as the voice stopped speaking. For a moment, the room was silent and Tenzō heard nothing but the sound of his heartbeating loudly in his ears. Then he felt pressure; a hand pressed over his heart. He felt the tingle of chakra connecting with the other and recognition almost scrambled his mind once more.

Kakashi.

"That's one you have to read yourself, Tenzō."

He felt the bed move slightly as Kakashi leaned onto it. He then understood the pressure on his chest to be Kakashi's arm draped over him. Something told Tenzō it was impossible, that Kakashi shouldn't be there and the reason was tied to the guilt that weighed so heavily on his heart. But the part of his mind that knew why he should feel that guilt and shame was reluctant to open fully. Tenzō forgot about it for a moment and just concentrated on waking up.

He managed to blink his eyes and everything around him came rushing into view. He blinked again and things rushed into focus. Not a detail was lost on him; from the spider in the corner of the ceiling to the dead flies in the light above his head. His face twitched as he tried to move his head. His muscles quivered when he tried to move his arm. He felt weak and drained, but slowly and surely, Tenzō regained command of his own body. He drew in a long deep breath and finally, his head moved when he asked it to.

His eyes widened in surprise when he saw that Kakashi was right beside him, sleeping peacefully. His head lay next to Tenzō's shoulder, resting on his own arm which was curled beneath him. His eyes rolled lazily behind his closed eyelids. He stirred in his sleep and rubbed his forehead on Tenzō's shoulder then stilled again. Kakashi began to emit a soft purring snore and Tenzō chuckled softly, his chest vibrating with the quiet sound.

The snoring immediately stopped and Tenzō felt the arm over his chest tighten. Then the fingers of the hand over his heart splayed out, as if feeling for Tenzō's heart beat. Kakashi raised his head so very slowly, as if he was scared to actually look at Tenzō. When their eyes finally met, Tenzō smiled, bewildered at the astonished look on Kakashi's face.

For a few moments, they just stared at each other. Kakashi seemed to want to say something but couldn't, his head shaking slightly as his eyes bored into Tenzō's. He took his arm from Tenzō's chest, forced something in his pocket before abruptly getting to his feet. The chair he had been sitting on fell onto its side and Kakashi just stood there, staring at Tenzō as if he might disappear.

"Tenzō? Oh Gods. Tenzō! I thought I'd lost you!"

Tenzō laughed, wondering why Kakashi was acting the way he was. Kakashi leaned on the edge of the bed with one hand, the other held over his abdomen. It was then that Tenzō felt that closed off part of his mind begin to slide open. His laughter died as he noted the dark circles beneath Kakashi's eyes and how he held himself; protective of his stomach. Memories shifted and he felt such fear and horror that he cringed back when Kakashi leaned towards him.

"Oh no...no...nonono!"

Now he knew why he had left this hated reality to begin with and he wanted nothing to do with this real world. He tried to claw his way back into himself, unsuccessfully attempting to disappear back into his own mind. Tenzō stared at Kakashi's stomach, horrified as the dark memory of killing him resurfaced in all its brutally detailed glory. He cried out in fear. This wasn't Kakashi, it couldn't possibly be. It had to be another illusion!

I killed...Kakashi? I...

Tenzō's mind convulsed violently and he tried to push the memory away while heaving in loud panicked breaths. Kakashi reached for him, saying everything was okay, but Tenzō shook his head.

"No no no! I don't want to remember! I don't want to...you're dead! And...and...I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER KILLING YOU!"

He struggled in the bed, so weak and uncoordinated he could hardly raise his hands to push the illusion away. But he felt hands grab his own and crush them to his chest. An arm reached behind his back and pulled him into a tight embrace. Tenzō let out a long wavering moan, unable to escape the hold of the illusion. But the arms around him were solid and real and so comforting.

"Please...I don't want to remember...killing...you!"

The arms released him, but he felt two warm and very real hands cup his face. They guided his head until he faced the wicked illusion. He dragged his eyes from it, closing them tightly as he cried in misery.

"No no no! Tenzō no! I'm real, I'm here and I'm alive. Tenzō, look at me!" Kakashi insisted.

Tenzō struggled, tearing futilely at the hands which held his face so firmly. He kept his eyes squeezed tightly shut, moaning and crying and wishing he had never woke up in this awful world in which Kakashi no longer lived.

"Don't disappear on me again! I can't watch you fade away, Tenzō. I wont allow you to! I won't lose you again, you hear me! Look at me, Tenzō. You've got to believe I'm real! Look at me!"

Tenzō opened his eyes when he heard Kakashi's voice break. He looked straight into worried eyes, brimming with tears. He searched for the lie, waited on the cruel reveal that would show him this was all in his mind. Kakashi held his gaze, his hands never leaving the sides of his face, ensuring that Tenzō continued to see him.

"You've got to believe, Tenzō. Just look, okay? Look."

Kakashi released Tenzō's face and slowly pulled away. He watched Tenzō intently as he raised his shirt, revealing the large dressing that covered the horrible wound that Tenzō was sure should have killed him. Kakashi reached forward and took hold of Tenzō's hand, then flattened it over the dressing. He held it there as Tenzō whimpered, feeling the heat radiating beneath his hand.

It's real.

Then Kakashi clasped Tenzō's hand tightly in his own and raised it to cover his heart. Tenzō felt Kakashi's heart beating away, strong, healthy and true.

He's real.

"Tenzō." Kakashi said quietly and Tenzō raised his eyes to look at him. His expression was of concern, but there was a determined look in his eyes. "I'm alive,Tenzō, and as real as you are." Kakashi pulled his shirt back down, refusing to let go of Tenzō's hand.

"Kakashi-senpai." Tenzō whispered, the last of his doubts fading away. His lip trembled as he fought to hold back tears. "I'm so sorry senpai! I didn't mean-"

Kakashi moved quickly and pulled him into his arms, holding Tenzō so tightly that he silenced his words. Tenzō leaned heavily into him, burying his head in Kakashi's shoulder. Knowing real from imagined, he gripped Kakashi tightly as he allowed himself to grieve. Kakashi smoothed down his hair and spoke soft words of comfort as Tenzō cried so hard it hurt his chest and burned his throat.

"It's okay, Tenzō. It's okay. Shhh...everything's going to be okay."

Tenzō wept until his eyes were red and swollen and to exhaustion. He sobbed quietly between hitched breaths and barely noticed when Kakashi moved him across the bed. He hardly stirred when Kakashi squeezed himself into the small space beside him and pulled the covers up over them. Letters and notes fell from the bed, fluttering to the floor forgotten.

When Kakashi snaked his arm behind his neck, Tenzō automatically moved himself closer and rested his head on Kakashi's chest. He just lay there, listening to the sound of Kakashi's heart beating strongly. Tenzō had not felt so safe and content for such a long time and pulled himself even closer until he was pressed tightly against Kakashi's side. This was real. Tenzō knew that without a doubt in his mind. Kakashi was real and alive and right beside him.

Kakashi tightened his arms around him and Tenzō felt him softly kiss the top of his head. "I love you." He whispered, making Tenzō's heart skip a beat. "I've always loved you and, I always will."

Tenzō raised his head to look at Kakashi. He reached up and tugged down his mask, then studied the face he never thought he would ever see again. He ran his fingers over every line and every scar, loving every blemish that marred that beautiful face. He stared into the eyes that looked back at him with such love it almost made Tenzō's heart burst.

In a moment of nervous courage, Tenzō took a deep breath and spoke words he never thought he ever would. "I need your help, senpai." He whispered. "I'm..."

The words choked him silent. Admitting he was in need of help terrified him. Shinobi were not meant to act like this. Someone of his calibre was not meant to break. He felt a wave of shame flow through his body and he pulled away from Kakashi. He was too afraid to continue for fear of losing him, and whatever little respect the man might still have for him. But Kakashi held him tighter then took hold of Tenzō's chin and raised his head. Tenzō found it impossible to look away from that serious yet passionate gaze.

"I know, Tenzō." Kakashi said as he gently stroked Tenzō's cheek. "I know."

Tenzō just stared at him, fresh tears forming in his eyes. Of course Kakashi knew. He had followed Tenzō for weeks, listening to his angry rants, watching him speak to his hallucinations. He had allowed Tenzō to shout at him, hate him and pretend he was some kind of weird spirit that looked like him. He had lived through Tenzō's attempt to kill him, had survived one of Tenzō's most vicious psychotic episodes.

"But, you're still here?"

"Of course I am. I promised, I'll never leave you."

"You will help me?"

"I'll do anything for you. Whatever it takes."

Tenzō's heart thudded painfully in his chest. Despite everything that had happened, Kakashi was still willing to be by his side. It was more than Tenzō could have hoped for. For a long time he had felt himself undeserving of many things, but as he bathed in the love that shone from Kakashi's eyes, Tenzō dared to want more.

"Will you take me home, senpai?"

Kakashi reached into his pocket and pulled out the item he had put there earlier. It was a worn and creased piece of paper. He opened it out and handed it to Tenzō. It had clearly been rewritten many times. Lengthy passages were scribbled over. Words were deleted and then great lines scored through everything, except four short lines.

My dearest Tenzō.
Please come home.
Alone, I am nothing.
All my love, Kakashi.

"I searched months for you, just to bring you home. I drank in every filthy bar in every backwater little village, just to bring you home. Even if I have to carry you the full way, my beautiful Tenzō, I will take you home."

To be concluded...