"Your soul is haunting me and telling me that everything is fine, but I wish I was dead."

-Dark Paradise, Queen Lana Del Rey

I was wide-awake.

How fucking hard I tried to make those two beautiful faces disappeared from my mind... I just failed. Yeah, I sometimes thought having photographic memory was a curse. In the moment like this, it really was. I had been laying on my side for hours. No wonder I felt like shit. Alcohol made my head spin like a fucking tornado and I had dark circles under my bloodshot eyes. I was almost fucking sure my soul wasn't in its place too.

Psycho was restless beside me, but he didn't say a word. Still, I was fucking aware that he was watching me. His emeralds obviously made a hole into my back. I stayed quiet. The night itself was louder than us. Silent words were everywhere, tying us to form a knot called agony. We both knew we couldn't be the same again after this. He was always on the black side. And the longer I was with him, the closer I was about to cross the line. Something that I wouldn't ever let to happen, considering how long I tried my fucking best to be on the white or worst, grey side. But never, ever, on the black one. Because there was no going back for goddamn criminals. They would just lose everything. On the other hand, no chance in hell psycho would leave the black side. It had been in his blood since long ago.

It really shouldn't go this far. Our-I-didn't-know-how-to-call-it was more fucked-up than we thought. We should end it before it even began. He should end me. It was much better than ruining me like this.

Even though my eyes were burning, my body was cold. Night was always so cruel.

"Come here." I could hear he whispered.

My answer was almost immediately. "No."

"Don't fucking do this to me." He growled. Yeah, always with the temper. The next thing I knew, I was yanked and turned around by him. His face was now inches away from mine. He looked just like me. Tired bloodshot eyes and all. I tried to loosen his grip, but he held me still.

"I was sick of you, Edward." I spat.

His jaw tightened. So was his grip. I was sure as hell he planned to break my wrist. I tried to act indifferent but failed miserably.

"Don't. You. Dare." He hissed. His face was closer than ever. Our nose was almost touching. I swore I could see the flames in his eyes. I lifted my chin high.

"I can't do this anymore." My tone was firm. This had to end. What the fuck ever we began had to end.

"You don't have a choice." He insisted.

"You don't let me to choose." I corrected him.

We were staring at each other for seconds before he tore his gaze away and grabbed my bare biceps. "You're so fucking cold, baby." His voice dropped a few octaves. Now he was busy to make me warm, like pressing his naked body against mine, hugging me so tight, wrapping the duvet around us like a cocoon. Psycho could be so fucking sweet I almost believed he didn't want me for sex only. Yeah, that was bullshit, I know. And as usual, our fight was forgotten.

"What now?" I asked weakly, defeated. His hot breaths assaulted my neck.

"I don't know." He barely whispered. We were so messed up. I swore I had never been in this level before. And sure as fuck, neither had psycho. For God's sake, since when I became this melancholy? He pushed me onto my back slowly and rested his right cheek just between my breasts. I instinctively stroke his bronze hair while his thumb caressed my hipbone. We stayed like this for what was like forever before I heard some soft knocks. Psycho had to hear it too because then, he said, "Come in."

Some blonde head poked in the half open door. It was icy. Her cold blue eyes was looking for something. It was simply and solely psycho, considering only his bronze hair was visible because we were drowning in the duvet. When her eyes finally settled on us, she looked away straightway. "The jet is ready."

"Okay." He said, dismissing her. Just like that, she was out of our sight.

"Where are we going?"

"Paris." I didn't ask further because I could fucking guess what psycho and his crew would do there. And it certainly wasn't for shopping. His body left mine with a smooth move. "Let's take a shower." Those words made me remember that I smelled just like him. Blood. My stomach turned. He offered his hand to me, but it was quickly curled up into a fist as he realized I wasn't going to take it. "Baby." He stated sternly.

"I need to smoke." I lied. I knew he didn't buy my shit, but he let it go.

"All right." He gritted teeth and walked into the bathroom.

Slowly and carefully, I climbed out of the bed and tiptoed to something that I had secretly been eyeing for minutes. His goddamn laptop. I fucking knew I didn't have much time. He would usually finish in five to ten minutes. But better now or never. Chance didn't come twice. His computer was fucking locked, harder to penetrate than others. Typical Jasper's security system. I needed more time than I expected to crack the code. Two minutes and ten seconds. Typing some, clicking some, and I was in. I did what I just planned in my brain since he said Paris and I saw his laptop. Dammit, I got no time. I needed five fucking minutes to enter one of his bank accounts. Yeah, people like him definitely controlled all his money through his computer. I used his account to rent some private jet because no way in hell I could use public plane considering I didn't fucking know where the fuck my passport and ID were. I didn't have them in my duffel bag.

Looking at his total amount of money, no fucking way he would realize I stole some. His bank account that I entered had around ten millions dollar. And he had seven bank accounts if you wanted to know. When I heard the water stopped, I started to fucking panic. Goodness, I got a feeling this wouldn't end well. My fingers moved faster than playing Rachmaninoff piece while my brain was thinking about Plan B, C, D, and E. I heard him grab some towel to dry his hair. Fucking hell, I hadn't even finished yet. This really sucked. As the knob was turned, I was deleting all history, turning off the computer, and erasing some fingerprints at once in just some seconds. I was already standing on the balcony doorway nanoseconds before he was slipping out of the bathroom.

No shit I got an A from acting because that was what I had been doing in my entire life.

He didn't look suspicious. But I felt he knew something was off.

"You better hurry up." He told in the cold tone.

Fifteen minutes later, I had already worn my cropped tank, shorts, and sneakers. Grabbing my duffel bag, I got out of the bedroom. Icy scowled when she was me. I ignored her and lit my cigarette. Holy fucking hell, psycho turned me into a chain smoker again in days. I mean, I needed years to kill that habit, you know? I really fucking hated him.

The flight was boring than ever. I still couldn't sleep. Neither could psycho. He never left my side, but his eyes never met mine. There was this usual tension between us. Like hell I would think about it. I was tired of spinning around this circle. Hours later, we landed in some private airport in Paris. I stretched out my arms as I stood up, only to catch Jasper and Emmett staring at my flat stomach. They smirked as I raised an eyebrow. Men.

Psycho had this black look on his eyes, made them look away quickly. "Get the bag, fuckers." He ordered. In a second, Jas and Em disappeared to do what the hell he said. Yeah, he was the boss. Then he turned to me and shrugged off his leather jacket. "Put this on."

"You're being..."

"Put. This. On." He demanded.

I snatched his jacket and muttered under my breath. "Ass."

We were the last to get off the plane. The others had already gathered in the bottom of the stairs with some bags around them. I was eyeing the big one as some creepy guy suddenly approached psycho. "Masen, so glad to see you here." He greeted in the fake-excited tone. I could see Emmett cringe as soon as the creepy guy spoke.

"Demetri." Psycho nodded indifferently as they shook hands.

"Always keeping the records, aren't you? Never come with an empty hand." The creepy guy named Demetri gazed the bag I just eyed a while ago. I felt nausea coming up. No wonder there was this stink of formaldehyde everywhere. "Which evil way you chose to kill him by the way?" I felt psycho tense a little as he caught me closing my eyes tightly as soon as that question escaped Demetri's mouth.

"You don't wanna know." He replied flatly.

"Okay... so where's the money?" Jasper strode toward him and handed some duffel bags filled with dollars. "Ugh, a little bit boring, don't you think?"

"No shit." Psycho said.

"Well, thank fuck it was over, wasn't it? I'll go back to Rome to report this to Ar... wait, wait, wait, who is she?" His eyes landed on me abruptly. They raked up and down my body. Psycho stiffened. "I've never seen her before." He continued to stare at me like I was a fucking shiny toy. "She's not in the crew, right?"

"None of your business." He warned him silently, but Demetri was too stupid to realize it. The creepy guy was wearing this creepy triumph smile on his lips. And psycho stiffened even further as he took a step toward me.

"Well." I just smirked when the douche looked down to my lips. Psycho's palms were balled into fists. Just as Demetri raised his hand to fucking touch me, he grabbed him by collar.

"Back the fuck off." He said spitefully. Demetri's expression was so fucking priceless. I could see Jas and Em tried to hold back a snicker.

"Relax, brother, I just..."

"We're fucking done here." Psycho spat, dismissing him. The next thing I knew, Demetri and his two men were climbing up into another jet parked not far from ours. Goodness, what was with these men and jets?

We were off to some five-star hotel by the limo. I hit the bed as soon as we arrived. For twelve fucking hours. I braced myself for that bright ray I knew too well to attack my face. But surprisingly, there was none. Instead, I found psycho sitting on the edge of the bed. He didn't hide the fact that he had his gaze on me. I rubbed my eyes sleepily, not sure with what I saw.

"Edward?" I slurred.

"Hmm?" He caressed my cheek with his knuckles.

"What time is it?"

"Eleven." I tore my eyes away from his bare covered-tatts chest to the closed curtains. They were open last night.

"Since when you're taking care of me?" I laughed sarcastically as I was throwing my legs over the bed and tying up my hair with a hair tie on my wrist. "I'm not a fucking baby, Edward. Stop doing this shit already." I felt my anger build up, didn't really know why. He grabbed me my upper arm. Hard. I almost lost my balance.

"I'm not having this fucking fight with you again, got it?" He snapped. I did the only thing I could fucking do. Snap back.

"We're nothing." My words struck him like a fucking thunder. Hell, they hit me just the same. But it's true. We were nothing. It needed some time for us to recover. I shrugged off his grip. He let me. We were quiet for five seconds. But the next thing I knew, I got this sort of pang in my back and he was standing right in front of me with hands grasped my wrists over my head.

"Don't start." His grasps tightened. But I could fucking care less. I got used to it.

"I was fucking tired of this cycle!" I screamed out of the top of my lungs.

"Stop." He warned me in dangerous tone.

"Let's fucking end it..."

"I said fucking stop, Allegra!" He shouted in fury. Before I could fucking blink, his Five-seven was pointed between my eyes. When and how he pulled out that gun off his jeans was beyond my concern. Nah, not when my death was lying before me. Then I laughed. It was a sad one if you asked me. There were no people as pathetic as us, really.

"Pull that fucking trigger." I dared him. His jaw hardened after hearing my words. What did he expect me to say anyway? Like hell I would fucking beg him to not kill me. If that was really his intention, so be it. But if it was just a slip, then let's say I had a bad luck. I didn't fucking care about my life anymore. It had been ruined in the worst way.

"You don't fucking know what you're saying." He hissed.

"Wrong again." I gave him an insincere grin. "I fucking KNOW what I'm saying." I took a step ahead, so the tip of his Five-seven glued to my forehead. "Kill me, Edward. Let the bullet dig a hole in my skull. You know I fucking deserve it."

"Don't make me..."

"FUCKING KILL ME!"

He pulled the trigger.

Well, your reviews make me want to keep going, so this is it! :) I'll post as soon as I can. Wicked schedule. UGH, real life drives me crazy.

Love you.