Kurt had hoped, that by asking to go last, maybe he wouldn't feel so nervous about his song. He was wrong, he was dead wrong. Even the songs that revealed more about some teammates than he ever knew wouldn't compare to his song choice. Mike's rendition of "Pity The Child" had been haunting and he knew that, after this was over he needed to have a talk with Mike. He was ashamed that he hadn't known that Mike was emancipated.
He also knew that he was going to have a talk with Puck. Kurt had known and loved that song for a long time and hearing Puck sing it had just been heartbreaking. But that was all in the future and right now, he had a song to sing. He hadn't realized that he was still sitting there until Mr. Schuester gently cleared his throat. "Hey Kurt, you're up." he said.
Kurt took a deep breath and tried to push down the nerves. "How many of you know that my mother died?" Kurt asked, very serious. Every hand in the room went up. "How many of you know how it happened?" Slowly, embarrassed, everyone's hand went down. "It's okay, I've never really talked about it. But I'd like to, if that's okay?" He hated that he was so unsure of himself. There was no objection, so Kurt kept going. "I was eight years old. My dad had gone out for the day. He invited me to come with, but I was always more comfortable spending the day with my mom. She worked a lot and so days with just her were hard to come by. We watched movies and ate junk food and laughed…" He had to stop and pull his emotions back together. "Then the doorbell rang and she answered it. Two men forced their way into our house. They grabbed my mom and she shouted for me to run, but I didn't want to leave her. They grabbed me, too. One of the men tied me to a chair and told me to watch. They had a gun and they held it to her head. They said if I screamed or closed my eyes, they would blow her brains out." He was shaking so hard by now that the other kids were starting to get worried. He took another deep breath. "They raped her in front of me. She kept mouthing 'I love you' at me and I knew she wanted me to be brave. She was brave, she was so very brave. Then…" his voice broke and he held up a hand to stave off any comments. "His finger slipped. I don't think he actually meant to kill her, but the gun was at her temple and…" Another breath. "They untied me and told me that if I told anyone or left the house to get help, they would be waiting and they would kill me. They cut our phone lines. So, I laid down in her arms, hoping she would wake up and hold me and that everything would be okay. Three hours later, my dad walked in and found us, but he was too late."
Everyone in the room was crying, everyone except Kurt. He was barely holding on, but he wasn't crying. Then he started to sing. "I found God, on the corner of First and Amistad, where the west was all but won. All alone, smoking his last cigarette. I said where you been, he said ask anything. Where were you, when everything was falling apart? All my days, spent by the telephone. And all I needed was a call that never came to the corner of First and Amistad." The tears started to slip down his face, but he kept singing. "Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me. Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded. Why'd you have to wait? Where were you, where were you? Just a little late, you found me. You found me." He started to cry harder and the words were choked - almost not singing. "But in the end, everyone ends up alone. Losing her-" His voice breaks and he actually has to stop for a second. "Losing her the only one whose ever known. Who I am, who I'm not and who I want to be. No way to know how long she will be next to me." Kurt breaks down completely at this point, sobbing. He can't continue on, when suddenly he hears a voice. It's Puck, of all people, picking up where he left off. His voice was soft.
"Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me." Finn, Mike, Rachel and Mercedes all joined in. "Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded." Kurt found his voice again and this time, with the entire Glee club joining him, he continued. "Why'd you have to wait? Where were you, where were you? Just a little late, you found me. You found me."
As the others began to harmonize a background, Kurt pulled himself together and took control of the song. "Early morning, the city breaks and I've been calling for years, and years, and years, and years. And you never left me no messages, never sent me no letters. You've got some kind of nerve, taking all I want." Kurt's voice began to tremble, but as he looked around at the others, all harmonizing perfectly, he found the strength to keep going. "Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me. Lying on the floor, where were you? Where were you? Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me. Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded. Why'd you have to wait? Where were you, where were you? Just a little late, you found me. You found me. Why'd you have to wait, to find me, to find me?"
As he sang the last note, Kurt was sobbing again and his knees gave out and he fell to the floor. Immediately, the eleven other members of New Directions surrounded him on all sides, holding him, rubbing his back, placing a hand wherever they could reach. Mike Chang was directly in front of him and he placed his head on Mike's shoulder. The tears didn't hurt so much, they were more cathartic now. Suddenly, he heard Mr. Schuester's voice. It sounded as if he were crying, too.
"Perfect, Kurt. That was amazing."