Boy~! wasn't that last chapter something? Well lets see what happens after the whole incident, shall we?
Strawberry Panic-Episode 13:
Shizuma fiddled with her keys as she tried to open her front door. After finally finding the right key, she was able to enter the house. She burst through the door, her clothes soaked and her hair a wreck.
"Nagisa!"
She closed the door behind her as she looked franticly around the house, searching for any sign of her beloved. The silver-haired woman bolted up the stairs, hoping that maybe Nagisa was in their bedroom.
Please be here…
She opened the door and saw nothing but empty drawers and scattered travel bags. Shizuma dropped to her knees as reality hit her.
She left…Nagisa left…
Tears pooled in her eyes as her hands dropped to her sides. She stared up blankly at the ceiling as those same tears ran down her cheeks. Her eyes turned dark as her face paled.
Why…why is this happening to me?
She managed to gain enough strength to stand and walk to bed. She plopped down upon the mattress in her wet clothing, probably not aware that she was still in her work clothes. The silver-haired woman closed her eyes wishing that if she fell asleep, everything would go back to normal. That this whole day was a dream and that she would wake up in Nagisa's arms again.
The problem was her eyes would not stay closed. Every time she opened them she would find herself alone and empty. She curled into a ball and wrapped her arms around herself as started blankly at the window. Her dull eyes watched the rain as it cascaded down the glass, her thought a thousand miles away. She wondered where Nagisa was and she hoped that she was safe.
If anything bad happened to her because of me…I don't know what I'd do…
Her phone rang and she glanced at it as it vibrated on her nightstand, knowing the distinct ringtone.
Why is Tanya calling me? What more does she want? Because of her, Nagisa is gone…and I'm alone again. Nagisa wouldn't want to come back to a person like me…never…
He phone rang again and she reached for it and looked at the caller id, her eyes not really focusing on the letters. Once she saw the name "Tani" she threw the phone, the small device landing with a loud thump on the other side of the room.
After feeling a little satisfied with abusing the innocent piece of technology, she pulled her pillow over her head and tried to go to sleep.
Nagisa opened to door to her hotel room, holding an overnight bag in one hand and her dinner in the other. Her cheeks were stained with tears as she sat her belongings down on the counter and processed to the bedroom. She wiped her eyes before changing out of her wet clothing, dropping the articles onto the cream colored carpet. The redhead then dressed in her night clothes and walked over to the shabby mirror. Her put a hand up to her now paling face, her fingers trembling as she touched her cheek.
Is there something wrong with me? Am…I…not good enough? Did she really love me…or my body? Tanya must have something that I don't…and Shizuma had to find a way to make up for what I was lacking.
The redhead fell to her knees, holding her head. New tears trickled from her already puffy eyes. The way she looked when they were kissing…she was enjoying it…
Nagisa slumped against the mirror, listening to the sounds of rumbling thunder. I've got to get over this…I've got to be strong… She stood up and made her way over to the counter and picked up her dinner. She then went back into the bedroom and settled into the bed. The redhead found the television remote and turned the device on, the vibrant colors reflecting in her eyes.
Her brown eyes looked tormented as commercials of happy couples and families flashed across the screen. She flipped through the channels, tying to avoid those ideal images. When she finally found some cartoons she sighed, resting the remote on the nightstand.
It's better than the other crap on…
She fished in the bag, pulling out a wrapped up hamburger. The redhead stared vacantly at the fast food item, her stomach aching for the contents. Her mind, on the other hand, was sickened by any form of consumption and that was what drove her to put the burger back in the bag and set it on the nightstand. The red-haired girl simply scooted back, her back pressed against the wooden headboard. Her eyes stared through the T.V, making her appear as an empty shell. Her already paling skin seemed to become even whiter as her thoughts took a negative turn.
Does Shizuma…does she love Tanya? Is that why they were kissing? But then…if she loves Tanya…then what am I to her?
Her heart jerked painfully in her chest.
I'm just…a toy to play with…aren't I?
She felt another painful jerk in her chest and her hand went up instinctively. Sobs began to leave her throat, but they were silent and dry. It was if she didn't eve have the energy to cry. She clenched the area where the painful jerk was becoming worse, now finding herself curled up in a ball. The redhead hugged herself as she cried, the thunder muting out the screams that were leaving her.
["Why? Why? Why?"]
Tanya walked into her apartment, her cell phone in her shaking hands. He russet-skinned woman glanced at her contacts list, her eyes on Shizuma's nickname, "Shi". She bit her lip as she closed her door and leaned up against it.
She won't pick up…what the hell am I doing? Of course she won't pick up! I've ruined her life! Damn it, what they had was something special…and I fucked it up. Why did I kiss her? Shit!
The dark-haired woman banged her head against the door, her eyes filled with self loathing. She stepped out of her heels and walked into her living room, grimacing at the scene outside her window. Though she was one who liked the rain, today she hated it because she knew that Nagisa was out there alone.
And it's all my fault…Shizuma is probably blaming herself too. She was forced into the kiss…a response was only natural…
The raven-haired woman popped down onto her sofa and unbuttoned the collar of her blouse. She ran a shaking hand through her damp hair and closed her eyes.
I have to find a way to fix this! I'll be damned if my miserable ass fucks up another person's life!
She took another look at her phone and sighed. She won' talk to me…and Nagisa is MIA…I guess I'll have to find her… She groaned, how the hell am I supposed to do that? The girl could be taking a flight back to Japan for all I know! Tanya buried her face in her hands, feeling the familiar sting of tears in her eyes.
"Way to go Tanya…you won the Bitch of the Year Award."
First you lose your girl…then you lose your friends...you should just lock yourself away for all eternity.
She looked up, tears spilling from her gray eyes.
Am I really this messed up?
The raven-haired woman stood, walking into her bathroom. She placed her trembling hands on the sink, a feeling of nausea arising within her. Her eyes caught her reflection and she felt the sickness become stronger.
Look at me…I'm a sorry excuse for a person…
Tanya closed her eyes and her grip on the sink tightened.
I'll make this right…and then…Shizuma can stop hating herself and hate me.
She turned away from the sink and made her way o her bedroom. She laid down on the bed and closed her eyes, wishing that deep inside…she would disappear.
Hey guys~! Long time no see eh? Lol I was working on my most recent story while I thought about this one. I chose to give Tanya a point of view, seeing as she will be added as a main character. (Sorry her role for later on will not be disclosed XD) I felt that showing you guys a piece of Tani's perspective will help you see her side and that she's going through some things also.
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, though it had a very down mood AND the fact that it was shorter than the last. Please drop a review, because as always; reviews mean love and a happy writer lol~!
-NEKO