It's not Christmas. But these next few chapters are Christmas chapters. So, do with that what you will. Enjoy lovelies! Language warnings, we don't own crap, blah blah blah yay.

Vanessa awoke the morning after the ball feeling disoriented, pained, and utterly dissociated. All in all, not her worse hangover. What was new, however, was the lack of cooperation her vocal cords were giving her. She tried clearing her throat, and nearly choked. She tried speaking, and barely managed more than a squeak. Swallowing was out of the question. She gave up after about twenty minutes of working her seemingly useless throat muscles and flopped back against the pillows. The med room had some pretty comfy pillows.

Wait.

'Why the hell am I in the Med Room?' She thought frantically, and bolted upright. She threw the covers off her legs and stumbled out of the bed. She checked herself for wires or tubes, and when she found none, all but fled the room.

She wandered through the house carefully, finding herself on edge. The house was worryingly quiet. Every creak of every floorboard echoed. She couldn't remember anything of the past night. She couldn't speak and her throat felt tight. Her neck, upper chest, and jaw, burned vaguely, as if they had been scraped from the inside out.

All in all, nothing made sense.

She poked her head into the kitchen, and found it empty. She padded carefully across the floor, crouching slightly and making no noise. She grabbed an apple, and, after some debate, the paring knife left next to the bowl. Worst case scenario, there had been another coup at the reserve. She was more than likely just being paranoid.

She left the kitchen and moved toward the living room, still soundless. She scanned the living room, found it empty, and was just about to warily settle into an armchair when the screen door behind her creaked and slapped open loudly and suddenly.

"¡Ay, Dios mio!" Vanessa yelped, straining her vocal cords painfully, and turned and threw her items towards the door. Warren neatly dodged the paring knife, which lodged itself into the wall just left of him, and Bracken took an apple to the face.

"Ow, Vanessa, what the hell?" Bracken cried. "Aren't you supposed to be in a coma?"

"What?" Vanessa was losing her patience quickly, and her voice even faster. "What the hell are you on about? Where is everyone? Why-" she cut herself off, feeling her throat run dry and then close up. Try as she might, she was done forming words for the time being. She ran her hands through her hair in frustration, and gesturing angrily at the boys to put the puzzle together for her.

"Nessa, please, take a seat and let me get you some tea." Warren tried to placate her, but she put her foot down, literally, and crossed her arms.

"Or we could do that later and answer those questions now?" Bracken suggested warily. Vanessa nodded stiffly.

"Okay," Warren sighed, dropping down onto the couch. "Here we go."

And so, Vanessa was informed of how she had been stabbed, poisoned, and healed. Which explained the throat failure and burning sensation, but not the quiet. She conveyed this by throwing an arm wide to gesture to the whole room, and looking utterly lost. Warren looked stuck between laughing and having a mental breakdown.

"You see," Bracken said. "After she healed you, Kendra kind of collapsed. And hasn't woken up since. It's been almost twenty four hours. Her vitals are fine but, y'know, we're all worried beyond belief," he laughed shakily, hysterically, and combed a hand through his hair. "Everyone is either out around the preserve or out around town trying to pick up leads and get answers. We were just by the pond. I went to talk to my mother, looking for answers, but I'm afraid it was fruitless."

Vanessa nodded jerkily, always a little uncomfortable when Bracken's family came up. She patted him awkwardly on the shoulder, and watched him brush away a few hopeless stray tears. It was then she noticed the bruise on his face, along the hollow of his cheek. She grabbed his jaw, gently turning his head. Bracken froze, almost frightened.

"What are you doing?" He hissed, accusingly, and she rolled her eyes. Unicorns. Always so paranoid. She tapped his cheek, a bit harshly, and gestured for an answer. She noticed Warren stiffen in her peripheral vision. Bracken tensed further.

"Um...you see-"

Bracken was standing over Kendra's body, lying still on the floor of the Med Room. Tanu was getting to his feet to console Warren, who stood frozen in the entryway of the room.

"Warren, man, listen, she's okay, she just-"

"I said." Warren all but yelled, pushing angrily off the door frame. "What the hell happened?"

He moved faster than Bracken could anticipate, hellbent on getting to Kendra and confirming that she was okay. Bracken should have moved, or dodge Warren's shoulder, or anything really.

Did he?

No.

That would have been too easy..

Instead, he got body checked by Warren and fell, his cheek hitting the windowsill he attempted to grab onto.

He failed.

His ass hit the ground first. He tried to orient himself, and succeeded briefly, only the have the tray of medical tools come flying after him. The reflex mallet slammed him in the same cheek.

Nice.

How dignified.

"-it was nothing." He muttered to Vanessa, shaking himself out of the flashback. "Anyway, you need tea. With lots of honey. And stuff. Stay here, I'll grab it, no worries."

Vanessa watched the prince run from the room, his silver blush not going unnoticed. She turned to look at Warren, who was staring intently at the drapes in the living room.

"Would you say those are eggshell? Or coastal ivory?"

Vanessa shook her head, rubbing her temples. She could feel herself being overwhelmed. She couldn't speak, Kendra was comatose, and the situation was worse than ever. All because of her. Because she wasn't fast enough, strong enough, good enough-

"Hey," Warren's voice broke through the fog, and she opened her dark eyes to see his hazel ones boring into her. "It wasn't your fault, okay? I know where you go, how you get, after these kinds of things, but it's not worth it. It's not your fault."

Vanessa tried to sigh, coughed instead, and let her frustration wash away. She couldn't totally shake it, but she knew Warren was right, deep down. She stood from her seat across the room, and walked over to drop into Warren's lap. She felt his arms come up around her, and his lips touch her temple. A shaky sigh escaped him, and he gathered her close.

"We can figure this out," he murmured. "I know we can. We just all gotta shove our brains together. We're missing something major, I know it."

Vanessa hummed in agreement, mind racing, but letting her head drop onto Warren's shoulder.

"Hey Ness?" Warren murmured near her ear. She raised her head to look up at him. "I'm really glad you're okay. Like, unfathomably ecstatic."

"Me, too." She rasped, and let her head drop out of his sight as a true smile stretched across her lips.

A day or so later, Vanessa was feeling somewhat better, but not much. She could hold conversation for a whole two minutes before she needed tea or water and an ice pack for her throat. She spent most of her time with Warren or Mara. They didn't find her silence unnerving.

At the present moment, though, the silence that encompassed her and Warren was unnerving in every way.

They were in Kendra's bedroom, holding a small vigil by the girl's bedside. Her chest rose and fell softly, slightly, almost not enough. Her nose had been bleeding on and off, Vanessa had just cleaned the most recent spotting. She hadn't moved at all, not like she normally would when she was asleep. For all intents and purposes, she looked like a breathing corpse. Vanessa was beyond worried, and could tell Warren was too.

"God, look at her Vanessa," he murmured, brushing some hair out of his younger cousin's face. "She's so tiny. So young and innocent and whole."

"She seems like that now," Vanessa whispered, eyes downcast. "But I'm worried that all of this, that we, are taking that away from her."

"All I ever wanted to do was protect her," Warren muttered. "And now look at us. She's in a coma, poisoned, getting more and more hateful every day. I just feel like-," Warren sighed explosively. "Nevermind, it's not important."

"No, please," Vanessa grabbed the hand of his that wasn't holding one of Kendra's and stared at him imploringly. "I want to hear. I-I want you to tell me."

Warren held her gaze for a moment before pressing on.

"I feel like a failure."

"Warren, you are the farthest thing from a failure in her mind, I can guarantee it."

"Doubt it." He muttered mulishly. Vanessa sighed and took a moment to collect her thoughts before she continued.

"How can you be a failure, mi amor?" She moved to sit on Kendra's bed, facing Warren directly. She reached out and laid her hands along his jaw, turning his head toward her and holding him gently there. "Kendra looks at you like you put the stars in the sky just for her. How can she see you as a failure when, whenever she feels sad, the first person she wants is you? Not her brother, not even Bracken, but you. How can she see you as a failure when you taught her how to wield a sword? How to defend herself? How to be cool in the face of imminent peril? Warren, you taught that little girl to be strong, to be brave, to stand up and fight when everyone else wants to run and hide, you gave this little girl a hero. You are her hero, Warren Burgess." She paused to wipe the tears falling down Warren's cheeks with the pads of her thumbs. "You let her paint your nails when she's sad. You watch Disney movies even if most of them are the actual spawn of the demon king. You give her piggy back rides when her feet hurt, or let her cling to you like a koala when she's tired, no matter how absolutely inconvenient it may be. You go running whenever she has nightmares and stay awake with her until she isn't afraid to fall back asleep anymore, no matter how tired you are. You were her friend when she was absolutely alone, no matter the situation, and now you're friends because with the two of you, neither of you are ever really alone. Your bond is so strong Warren. Don't ever, ever doubt it."

Warren looked as if he was a hair away from crying, keeping himself together with a piece of tape. But Vanessa had one more thing to say. "Look at her, she has already been through hell and worse. But she has remained this pure, happy, new and whole. Do you know why this tiny girl was able to remain so calm in the face of witches? In the face of dragons? In the face of demons? Because she had you, her protector. Guiding her every single step of the way. You are no failure, Warren. She's still here."

Warren broke.

He pitched forward into Vanessa's arms, and she caught him easily, cradling his head to her chest as he finally let go of all the stress and anger and pain of the past months. He was mumbling nonsense as he wept, apologies and promises, but she hushed them all as he dragged her nails along his scalp, down his back, rubbing soothing circles and being the rock Warren so desperately needed. She had long since stopped fighting her own tears, and bowed her head to rest on Warren's as they dripped off her nose and chin into his hair. After a few minutes, Warren calmed down enough to form coherent sentences. Which was excellent because Vanessa's little speech had left her throat practically bleeding.

"When I see her like this, Van," Warren sucked in a ragged breath. "All I can think of is that stingbulb. Of finding her dead. Failing to revive her. Seth's face. Everything-"

"Hush, Warren." Vanessa whispered softly, but firmly. "You know this isn't that. You can't let yourself fall into those thoughts. The "What-ifs" and the "Maybes". Do you know why? Because they are the true poison, and worse than we've been infected with. They will block out the light that shows you the right path."

"You sound like a fortune cookie."

"Yes, it was one of my mother's more practical sayings."

They lapsed into a quiet silence, Vanessa still cradling Warren's head to her chest. Her breathing was rough, and her throat throbbing. She was just about to suggest getting up to go when Warren spoke up again.

"I'm so damn proud of our kid, Nessa."

"Warren," Vanessa chuckled. "She's not our kid."

"Hmmmmm, I don't know Nessa. Kendra, Seth, Bracken? Kind of our kids."

"No. Definitely not the horse."

"They're ours and you know it."

"I'm calling Dr. Phil."

"Nessa-aah." Warren whined. Vanessa chuckled and patted his head before stealing a glance at Kendra sleeping under her pink duvet. Her mind flashed quickly through the afternoons spent training or hiking, the days spent shopping, the nights spent practicing makeup or swapping stories or teaching Kendra how to cook. Her eyes moistened, and she wiped them surreptitiously.

"Fine, whatever. They're kind of our kids."

"Softie-ow!"

"Serves you right."

"I have sensitive ears, Van, they bleed if they get flicked."

"I wish you had a sensitive mouth. You'd talk less."

"Ouch, Ness. Low blow."

As the days since the incidents dragged on, tension was high among those in the house. The preserve's occupants had been short-tempered, rude, and cold, just to be brief. And as more time passed in close proximity to the poison in the makeshift lab, and exposure to those who had been infected, fighting began to break out among the knights.

Seth was washing his hands in the sink after breakfast when he noticed Bracken just sitting at the kitchen table, looking like someone had just killed his entire family. Seth sighed loudly, mildly annoyed. He understood Bracken would be upset but, c'mon, Kendra was his sister and at least Seth made an effort to show emotion.

"Dude, get over it." Seth found himself saying.

"...Excuse me?" Bracken asked, sounding confused. "Get over what?"

"Kendra!" Seth exploded. "Ever since she fell into a coma you have been staring off into space acting as if you're whole life is over! I mean c'mon man you showed better optimism when you thought you were doomed to spend the rest of you're incredibly long life in a stupid prison!"

Bracken was looking more and more irritated until he just looked plain angry. "Do you not even care that your sister is in a coma that she might not wake up from? You dare get angry at me for being upset at the prospect? I guess you don't truly love her, then, huh."

Bracken shoved his chair back when he stood, crossing the kitchen in seconds, but before he left he sent one more scathing remark over his shoulder. "I am truly disgusted by your lack of empathy Seth Sorenson."

And then he left Seth alone, standing in the middle of the kitchen.

"Dude, the peonies go in the patch to the right."

Warren considered it a victory he hadn't lobbed the spade in his hand at his brother yet. They'd been gardening in the greenhouse for hours, and Warren was just about as done with Dale as he could ever imagine being.

"For the second time, Dale, the peonies won't fit in the patch over there, because the Sun-chokers are too hostile. They'll kill the peonies in like, a week, and then Ruth will be pissed when there aren't any for the summer." Warren was trying to be patient but damn was it hard.

"Listen, Warren," Dale said in a voice that sounded more condescending than kind. Warren felt his patience melting away. "I appreciate your help, or whatever, around here today, but I'm the one who's been taking care of this crap ever since you started gallivanting all over the place with god knows who. So thanks for the input, but you don't know what you're talking about."

"Listen, you peony-picking ass-hat, I-"

"Warren," Mara's voice broke into the greenhouse, interrupting what was very nearly a major argument. "Can you spare a minute? I need your help in the stables."

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Warren spat, tossing the spade to the ground and yanking off his gloves as he spun on his heel and stormed out of the greenhouse.

Dale scarcely refrained from flipping Warren off behind his back as he left.

"Are you sure you didn't miss anything, Tanu?"

Tanu sighed, having been answering the prince's endless questions about Kendra for the last twenty minutes.

"Yes. Your royal fucking highness, I am sure." Tanu snapped, have had enough of Bracken's sly remarks about how it could have been Tanu's fault Kendra hasn't woken up, that he had missed something.

"No need to be so hostile, but since we are going there, how about you fuck off and maybe do your job as a healer better and actually heal Kendra instead of giving up and leaving her there to rot!" Bracken all but yelled.

"You think I would ever give up on Kendra?!" Tanu seethed "I would never. How dare you. Get out of my room and go bother someone else with your presence."

"Already leaving." Bracken stormed out, giving the potions master a final middle finger before disappearing out the door.

"I told you, Elise, stop singing under your damn breath all the time, I'm trying to concentrate." Mara snapped.

"You could ask a little kinder, you know." Elise rolled her eyes, but stopped humming, not willing to get into it with Mara today.

"Could you both shut up? I can't focus with you two bickering every two minutes." Trask sneered at them.

"Oh please, you have been on the same page for fifteen minutes, you aren't focusing, you are daydreaming," Elise said sharply.

"Or maybe he couldn't focus because of your singing," Mara muttered.

"No! It was because of your non-stop fighting! I just said this!" Trask yelled.

They went around in circles like this until they all walked off, fuming.

"Where the hell have you been, Seth!" Warren exploded as soon as the young boy walked into the house.

"Out," Seth said monotonously.

"At ten P.M.? I don't think so. If you pull this crap again, I'm going straight to your grandfather." Seth rolled his eyes at the threat but Warren wasn't done.

"Kendra would be so disappointed." Warren shook his head, hoping to get through to Seth. But Seth seemed to snap, striding over to Warren and staring him right in the eyes. Warren could practically feel the anger seeping out of Seth.

"Fuck. You." Seth spit at Warren, before storming off, leaving his older cousin standing there in shock.

"Move, blix."

Vanessa had little time to process the two words as she narrowly avoided getting body-checked into the wall by a surly looking Bracken in the main hall. Once the words had sunk in though, she felt her metaphorical hackles rising.

"Ex-cuse me?" Vanessa seethed, spinning to face the prince, who had also stopped and turned to face her. "Why don't you watch where you're going, your highness? Or are you too busy being above all of us to deem it necessary?"

"Don't put words in my mouth, Santoro. Stay out of my way, and make life easier for both of us." Bracken snarled. Vanessa knew in the back of her mind that it was the stress and dark magic floating around the house that was affecting them both. She didn't really care at the moment, however.

"Find me and apologize when you finally find and remove that stick in your ass, horse-face." She spat as she turned around and stomped the rest of the way to her room.

"Not likely, leech!" He yelled after her. Vanessa slammed her door shut in response.

The atmosphere in the spacious dining room was so tense Seth felt like he was drowning. His palms were itchy and clammy, and he couldn't keep his legs from bouncing under the table. The steak should have been delicious, but it tasted like dirt in his mouth. He just wanted to escape to the attic and his video games. He reluctantly turned back to the conversation buzzing around the table.

"Well, the situation sure isn't getting better," Trask muttered. "That much is obvious."

"Helpful, thanks," Vanessa muttered under her breath. Seth froze, but no one else had heard, and he was grateful. He turned toward Bracken, hoping to start a conversation, but the prince looked so morose Seth would rather have played ping-pong with the revenant.

"Can someone pass the pepper?" Tanu asked, and the Samoan man's usually calming voice came across as more apathetic than anything.

"Here." Dale chucked it at him harder than was probably necessary, and Tanu definitely noticed.

"Wow, thanks, Dale." Tanu sounded anything but grateful.

"Oh, I'm sorry, pal, I forgot I was passing to the Dalai Lama. Here, let me get up, so I can genuflect and then grind you some fresh pepper from the garden of serenity."

"Chill, Dale," Warren muttered from down the table. Half the group was laughing under the breaths, unkindly, and the other half looked ready to throw hands. Seth clenched his eyes shut and sighed explosively, not that anyone noticed. He wished his grandparents had come to dinner, but they were working on Knight business in the study. He had half a mind to join them.

"Shut up, Warren. No one asked you," Dale bit back. Warren just rolled his eyes, for once not rising to the bait. He reached across the table to grab the bowl of potatoes, and plopped some more onto his plate. As the younger Burgess shoveled a large spoonful of food into his mouth, the elder child spoke up again. "Wow, Warren, really elegant. If only Kendra were awake to watch you gorge yourself, then it'd be a real Merry Christmas."

The atmosphere's building tension reached a crescendo in the silence of Dale's statement, and shattered like glass when Warren stood so fast his chair slammed into the wall.

"Alright, you know what, you damn hayseed hick? I've had enough of you!" Warren had moved faster than almost anyone had anticipated, and was feet away from Dale when Vanessa and Tanu moved to block him.

"No, Warren, it's not worth it, please-"

"C'mon man, it's just Dale, don't lose your cool-"

Dale opened his mouth, looking like he intended to apologize, but Trask was talking before he could get a word out.

"Nah, who cares?" the usually collected former-FBI agent looked livid, and exhausted. "Let's all just fight it out, here and now. Violence is always the answer, right? Who needs knights, or-or experienced agents, or fighters? None of us are making a damn difference, so let's just give it up!"

"Trask, shut your mouth, huh?" Mara stood up, and drew nose to nose with her friend. "God, I am so tired of your stupid FBI complex, y'know that? Thinking you're so much better than us because you got a dusty-ass badge and a gun, get your bureaucratic ass outta here."

"Mara, please, calm down!" Elise tried to place a hand on her possible-girlfriend's (Seth really needed to ask Kendra about that when she woke up) arm, but Mara shook her off violently and rounded on her.

"Oh, get out of here, you prissy-!"

Seth squeezed his eyes shut again, turning and opening them to the scene at the other end of the table. Tanu, Vanessa, and Dale were all screaming about something, getting angrier and angrier by the second. Bracken had been staying out of it, hovering near Warren, but Tanu of all people rounded on him angrily, and then Bracken was yelling, too. Seth didn't want to hear what they were yelling about. Seth didn't want to hear any of this.

The room was shrinking, and his ears were ringing. His chest felt heavy like a weight was being pushed against his chest every time he tried to inhale. His jaw was trembling, and his eyes were starting to burn.

'No,' Seth thought angrily, trying to will the tears and the impending breakdown away. 'I'm not a baby! I'm not some dumb baby who cries when things are hard. I'm the most awesome, coolest, bravest adventurer, and - and I-'

Seth jolted violently as a hand fell on his shoulder, and he looked up to see Warren staring at him. But he didn't look angry. Did he look...concerned? Sad? His cousin knelt down, and stared into his eyes.

"You okay, dude?"

Seth's mouth opened to say yeah, of course, he was okay, he was Seth freakin' Sorenson and he-

He was having a panic attack.

Because his family was falling apart.

Because his sister was hurt.

Again.

And because he was truly helpless to do anything about any of that.

"No." And then Seth felt the tears begin dripping like a leaky faucet down his face.

Warren's face crumpled a bit, like tissue paper, and he crushed Seth to his chest in a brief, but caring bear hug. Seth reciprocated desperately, clinging to Warren while he cried like a life preserver.

"Hang on, little man," Warren murmured, then pulled away. He cleared his throat, and shouted in a voice that Seth would really expect to hear more from his own father, or Grandpa at a Knights' meeting. "HEY! Morons! Shut up!"

Everyone in the room rounded on Warren, anger still etched into their features, making them all ugly in a way Seth couldn't really pin to physical appearance. Warren dropped a hand to rest on Seth's shoulder. Seth twisted his neck to look up at his cousin, his friend, and saw that he was angry, too, but in a more disappointed way.

Definitely reminding him of Grandpa. Not helping the waterworks.

"What the hell is the matter with all of you?" Warren's voice swept across the room. Vanessa, Dale, and Bracken looked down, ashamed. "I really am speechless!"

"I'm not." Seth's own voice shocked him, shaky and tearful. He'd spoken before really considering what that might mean. Typical. He pressed on, though, undeterred by the room's eyes on him. He wiped his cheeks as he stood, but the tears were leaking out faster than he could anticipate. He took a shaky breath.

"What's happening to you? To us?" Seth felt his breathing growing erratic, and his voice raising uncontrollably. "What's happening to my family? First, my sister almost dies and falls into a coma. Because I haven't dealt with losing her enough, apparently? And now, all of you, the ones who are supposed to be calm, level-headed, adults start fighting like this? Like we don't have bigger things to worry about than badges, and Warren's eating habits, and passing the pepper?"

Seth is beginning to feel hysterical, and claustrophobic. He's breathing hard, and the tears won't stop. He hears a chair scrape, and looks up to see Trask moving toward him slowly, like approaching a wounded animal.

"Seth, calm down, buddy, it's all okay-"

"NO!" Seth yells, stumbling backward. He trips over a chair and falls into Warren, but before anyone can help or grab him, he sprints out of the room, through the house, and out the back door into the yard. The cold December air slaps him in the face, stinging and biting where his face is wet from tears, but he doesn't stop running until he can hear the satyrs making merry for the Yule feast. He doesn't stop running until he finds the happiness and comfort, however temporary, he's chasing.

Yay angst. Love the angst. Feministkendra wrote a good portion of this chapter because she is absolutely amazing at emotionally intense moments. Go leave some love on her fic, Power of the Mind. I hope you all enjoyed, please leave some feedback and love in the comments. Ciao!