Daryl asks me if I want to go with him. He says that he is going to look for Sophia.
He says Shane, nor Rick will tell him what to do.
I nod. I wont let him go alone.
He throws a saddle on a bench grunting in pain once again. Shane really fucked him more than he already was, but he just wont let me help him, so I just hold the two horses.
"Are you sure you don't need help?"
"Pretty damn sure" he says swallowing hard and breathing heavily "Apart from the fucking stitches pulling and the burning feeling that asshole caused, I'm good."
When Im about to say something Carol's voice catches our attention.
"You can't."she tells my brother "just look at you"
He stumbles away.
"'m fine" he growls while I sort the headstalls.
I think she hates how she's coming after him all the time. As if I didn't cause him enough trouble.
"Herschel said you need to heal."
"Yeah, I don't care" he murmurs.
I look at them while petting the horse's nose. The animal bumps his head against my hip. I smile and pet him between the eyes.
Looks like Daryl want Carol to leave. I just wonder why...
"Well I do. Rick's going out later to follow the trail" she says. Daryl snorts and looks at me.
"Yeah well, I ain't gonna sit around and do nothing."
"No, you're gonna go out there and get yourself and your sister hurt."
My brother rolls his eyes.
"Im fine. And she'll be ok. I'll take care of her." he says shaking his head.
"We don't know if we're gonna find her, Daryl" both of us stop what were doing and look at her in surprise.
"We don't" she repeats once more.
"How can you say that?" I ask. Both of us looking at her in disbelief.
"I don't" she continues. A tear rolling down her cheek.
Daryl clenches his fists.
I cant believe what she just said. She's her mother! How could she just give up of Sophia.
"I can't lose you both too" She says
I am more confused now. And shocked.
Did she just said she cares about us?
Daryl walks past her. He looks like he's trying to calm down but he's so angry that he grabs the saddle and throws it all the way across the stable.
A burning sharp pain makes him wince.
Looks like his wound got too strained because of his abrupt movement and the weight of the saddle, but when Carol runs for him and asks him if he's alright, he explodes again.
"Leave me be! Stupid bitch" he shouts and walks away. I think He needs space.
Carol looks down, tears running down her cheeks. I put the horses back in their places and walk next to her.
"Carol?"
"I just want Sophia back" she whispers "but I can't allow myself putting you in risk"
I nod. " I'll go talk to him. He just needs time"
"I'm sorry"
"Don't be. I am shocked too. No one has ever cared for us... Except for Merle." I smile when I remember him. I miss his jokes. "We'll get used to it. We'll find Sophia"
Carol nods and walks away. I walk back to camp to let Daryl alone for a moment. He needs it, so I guess I'll talk to him later.
Daryl sitting on a landing stage in the woods near the farm.
I know he's upset, I've known him since... Before I could remember.
I approach him slowly watching my own steps to not bother him.
Daryl moves his bare feet in the water gently watching the small waves he's causing.
He's obviously lost in thoughts.
He looks upset but calm at the same time, it's almost weird to see him like this. Its been so long since I saw him this relaxed. He looks like an innocent kid.
Out of my two siblings he's always been the most aggressive one, the guardian dog that just looks at everyone and waits for the moment to attack, the one that's always quiet, unlike Merle, who's most of the time bullying others and making fun of everything, unless he's bossing you around or hating people around him.
Merle's an ugly ass ape.
Daryl is just... Different. he's the one who takes more time to consider options and help others. The loyal one. He would do anything to help you if he thinks you're worth it.
Sometimes I even think he has more feelings than I do.
"I hate when you spy on me. And you know it." Daryl growls pulling me back to reality.
I walk closer, sitting next to him.
"I don't spy on you, I take care of you. And you hate everything about everyone around here, dear brother." Daryl snorts "aren't we going to look for Sophia?"
"Nah" he replies "And looks like Carol ain't interested in her anymore, so there's no point in wastin our time any longer on this stupid search."
"Alright. so, What now?"
Daryl turns his head to look at me. He stares at me for a second as if thinking what to do until his expression changes completely when his eyes looked a little to the right.
"What?" I ask looking behind me as he pulls his legs out of the water to run in the direction where he saw something. "What is it?" I ask again. I cant see anything because his back is blocking the view of what he's doing.
When he turns around he has a cherokee rose in his hand. I don't know what the hell is going on.
Daryl tells me to hold it and kneels down to put his boots back on.
"Daryl, what the fuck?!"
"get back to the farm and get the horses ready."
"What?" My face revealing pure confusion when he takes the flower away from me again.
"Just do it! She ain't lost! We will find her... And Merle." He says looking to me with a serious expression.
My eyes light up at the last two words. We're getting Merle back?
I smile nodding once and run to the farm to do what he said.
"You done?" Daryl asks me when he entered the stables.
I am standing there with two horses, turn around and nod.
"Aye" I say climbing on to the only white horse I saw there. I think its the one that looks better out of the 4 horses there.
For Daryl I took one randomly, but made sure it wasn't Nelly.
"Theres only one simple little detail."
"What is it?" Daryl asks absently as he climbs on his horse.
"I've never been on a horse before." He chuckles "I don't even know how I climbed without help."
"Just don't pull it to hard and you'll be fine. Try to follow me"
"Ok" I tell him. And we head out.
We're deep inside the woods when he asks. "How could you even prepare the reins if you were never on a horse before?"
"Animal planet"
"You learned on animal planet."
"No. I just saw a guy there doing some of it. Figured how to do the rest." He nods.
Back in the day, Merle had been the one giving both of us shit, we had to do what Merle said. Daryl has always been more like the 'doer' type, not the 'planner' type. Now it is Daryl who is bossing me around. It was strangely new sometimes, but in a good way.
Honestly I have no idea where we're actually going, and since I have nothing else to do but look out for Sophia and walkers, Im kind of getting bored.
"Can I ask you something?" I ask after a while and make the horse walk next to Daryl.
"What?" Daryl murmurs without looking at me.
"Why is Sophia so important for you?"
"Cos she's lost."
"But why would you look for a kid that ain't yours?"
"You are looking for her too."
"Cause if it was me, I would be terrified. Maybe being alone out there is not that bad, but being alone out there with walkers all around you...
Daryl turns his head to keep an eye on the surroundings to their left.
"Besides, she's Carol's daughter. Carol is cool."
My brother keeps quiet for a while and just looks at me. I sigh.
Maybe talking about Carol is not convenient now.
Ill ask something else.
"Do you think we're going to find him?"
Daryl snorted again. Thats a good sign, it means his not pissed.
"Merle? I'm not sure. Maybe at some point, but know for sure he ain't dead."
We ride on for hours until the nearest town.
We've encountered some walkers, not much though. The only thing that keeps me worried is that a herd could appear any second.
Daryl seems to think the same. He says its enough for today and that we should get back. We're so far north that we can actually feel the wind a little colder than in the farm.
I agree with him and turn my horse around to follow him back to the farm but stop when I look at the road in front of us.
"Look at those motherfuckers over there" I whisper and point at a small herd of walkers making its way down the road. "Weren't those the ones we saw by the creek?"
Daryl frowns looking at them. "Maybe. They're all so stupid, I don't know if I've seen a specific one before. I don't think they're following us though. They wont cause trouble as long as they keep walking in that direction."
I nod. They're walking away from the farm.
It looks so grotesque. They have no brain at all, no control over their bodies, and yet they seem so determined to get what they want.
Us.
"Come on, let's go" Daryl says and we keep going
When were back to camp everyone stares at us as if we're strangers.
Rick comes to us looking absolutely angry and after a long lecture about the group's rules and that we're not supposed to risk more lives than needed, he walks away.
We walk to the camping chairs close to the campfire and sit with the others. I stretch my body while Daryl grabs something to eat.
"I got you this back in town" I tell him looking in my bag and taking out a pack of cigarettes. Daryl snorts.
"Yeah, you better give me this shit. Don't want you smoking anytime soon"
Shane made fun of him once more by saying "sorry man. I just gave her permission to try marijuana yesterday."
I don't want him to het me in trouble.
Daryl and I look at him. A pissed "Fuck you!" Comes out of both us making the rest of the group uncomfortable.
I don't know what time it is, but I know its morning because of the cold weather around us and the little light that comes from the outside. I think its like 7 AM. Too early...
I feel Daryl moving by my side.
I shift a little and try to sleep more when Daryl rolls completely putting all his weight on me.
Holy...
Fucking...
He's too heavy! I can't breathe.
"Move, you fucking cow!" I scream in pain kicking my brother away, waking him instantly and making him jump to the other side of the tent.
"The fuck is wrong with you?!" He asks confused and angry at the same time and looking around to make sure everything is ok.
"You're heavier than a whale!"
"What?!"
"You rolled on me! Fucking asshole!"
"I thought you were fucking dying!" I hear people outside laughing. I think they heard us fighting.
"Almost." I say looking at him. I see a red area on his belly. I look at it feeling awful for kicking him. I apologise.
He just takes a random shirt and puts it on saying "Lets go outside"
I stand up with him and follow his steps.
Everyone is outside doing their thing already.
Carol and Lori had spared some food for us so we sit a moment to eat and with that get ready for another day of hard shit in this hard world.
Daryl looks tired. I feel bad for kicking him, what if I really hurt him?
When Carol hands our food and walks away Glenn looks at Daryl with a silly smile on his face "oh, look at you. When's the wedding?" Daryl stops eating and looks at him with those scary blue eyes he has. I feel sorry for Glenn, lucky for him, Daryl is more interested on eating and turns back to his food.
I smile. My brother is sometimes like a caveman. The only thing that matters is food.
The sun is higher now. I watch how Daryl teaches the rest of the group how to skin a squirrel.
When he's done with the first one and is about to take another one Shane comes with the rifle bag looking even more angry than ever. What happened to him?
My brother turns his head and looks at the policeman like everyone else.
"What's all this?" I ask standing up and approach shane when he puts the bag in front of us. Daryl got up as well and frowned.
"You with me, guys?" Shane asks throwing our guns to us. Rick took them the other day so Hershel could feel more comfortable, all of them except for the crossbow for some reason.
Daryl and I look at each other frowning and follow Shane when he keeps walking
"Time to grow up!" Shane says
"I thought we couldn't carry guns" T-Dog tells him
"We can and we have to."
"Why?" Shane stops walking and looks at me.
"Because" he replies walking closer. " it's what we should have done since the beginning. You don't want Daryl to end up like Merle did, do you?"
"Hey! leave her alone!" Daryl says pushing him back
Shane stops walking and looks at them all.
"Look, it was one thing sitting around here picking daisies when we thought this place was supposed to be safe. But now we know it ain't"
"Can you stop?"Lori asks looking scared. Maggie comes stepping in the conversation by walking closer to the policeman.
"You do this, you hand out these guns, my dad will make you leave tonight." She says with a serious tone
Shane insists "We ain't going anywhere, okay?" Rick's "brother" replies grabbing his own gun and then kneeling besides Carl.
"Herschel, he's just gotta understand. Okay? He...Well, he's gonna have to. Now we need to find Sophia. Am I right?" The kid nods scared.
I don't get it. Everything was so peaceful a moment ago. Why is Shane doing this?
We watch confused and nervous how he puts a gun in Carl's hand while saying "You take it, Carl, and you keep your mother safe. You do whatever it takes, you know how."
"Rick said no guns. This is not your call, this is not your decision to make."Lori says placing herself between her son and 'inShane' dude
"Ohhh shit. Can you see that?" T-Dog says interrupting them.
We turn our heads to see what was going on. There are five people walking towards us in the woods. We watch clearly and in silence how they come out of the woods near the barn.
Lori gasps, Shane smiles and Daryl growls when we notice it is Rick guiding walkers with dog pound sticks with Hershel and Jimmy.
I frown at the scene. "What the fuck?"
What the hell is he doing?
Shane starts running and after a moment of hesitation everybody follows.
"Shane wait!" Glenn shouts after him. Its no use, he wont listen.
"What the hell are you doing?" Shane yells at Rick as soon as they reach the barn.
Hey psycho, That was my though.
"back off!" Rick said but Shane ignores him.
"Why do you people have guns?" Hershel asks confused when Daryl and I point our guns to the walkers.
We wont shoot yet. At least not me, I'm here in case the walkers try something stupid.
Rick and Shane keep arguing. Glenn and Lori try to convince us to put our guns down.
We wont. Not unless the walkers are gone. I see how Its getting harder and harder for Rick to hold the walker.
"Are you kidding me? You see what they're holding on to?!" Shane shouts pointing at Rick and the blonde kid. I hate to think like this, but I think he's right in some way. We can't leave with walkers like neighbours. I'm getting tired of not doing nothing about it.
Am I getting crazy like Shane?
"I see who I'm holding onto!" Herschel yells
"You're holding onto monsters." I respond calmly. Rick looks at me surprised while I talk "Just fucking look at 'em! Your wife is dead, your neighbours are dead, they're all dead. You just have to face it."
Daryl looks at me like thinking about it. He hesitates for a moment before looking at Rick and saying "You're putting us all in danger"
"Just let us do this and then we can talk" the leader says. Daryl nods slightly but Shane explodes
"What is there to talk about, Rick? Dixon just said it! These things ain't sick! They're not people! They're dead! And they can't feel nothing because you know what they do? They kill! These things right here!" He points at the walkers, who are trying to get to him and bite him. Then he keeps going and looking at us as he talks again"They're the things that killed Amy! They killed Otis! They killed Merle."
I freeze at the mention of my brothers name. For a moment I loose myself in deep anger. Everything around me disappears. Everything is quiet in my mind. My brain locks itself in those three words.
They killed Merle.
I load my gun. I want to kill this motherfucker.
I hear Daryl's voice in the distance.
"Mac! " He shouts "Mac, listen to me!", but his voice seems so far. I cant even respond until he shouts harder bringing me back to reality. "Mac! For fuck's sake, look at me!" I look at him startled "Don't lose your shit now! He's not dead, alright?! Don't listen to him! He's not dead!" I hear Daryl growl angrily.
I blink a few times and nod tightening my jaw.
Merle ain't dead. We'll find him. He'll come back.
"They're gonna kill us all if you don't take care of this!" Shane keeps yelling and walking around.
"Shane, shut up!" Rick replies trying to keep holding the undead
"Hey Herschel man, let me ask you me this, could a living breathing person walk away from this?" Shane grabs his gun. He pulls the trigger three times hitting the undead girl that's being held by Hershel
"Stop it!" Rick growls
"I hit it in the chest! Thats its heart, its lungs! Could someone who's alive just take that? why is it still coming?"
"Shane, enough!" Rick demands and his friend walks up to the creature.
"Yeah man, that is enough."
He ends by putting the gun on the walker's head and pulling the trigger.
The girl falls on the ground and Hershel lets the stick go with it. He may be in even more shock than any of us. The rest of the group gasps or cover their mouths.
I see the walker and put my gun down since there's nothing to shoot at anymore.
I remember when I trusted Shane. He used to be so different.
He used to make good decisions for us. Now Hershel will kick us all out because of him.
I don't know why I feel bad. They're dead already... But... This is just so wrong...
"Enough, risking our lives for a little girl who's gone!"
Wait, what? She's not gone, I just have to look deeper into the woods, right?
"Enough living next to a barn full of things that're trying to kill us! Enough!"
Rick seems to be too shocked and clueless. He looks at me, then at Daryl and then at Shane.
"If you want to survive, you've got to fight for it! And I'm talking about fighting right here! Right now!"
Shane opens the barn.
The walkers start walking towards us.
Rick's anger makes him look like he's about to explode. He yells at Hershel, telling him to hold the walker he's holding onto so he can stop Shane, but he wont listen. He's kneeling next to the corpse of the dead girl he held a moment ago.
Daryl shoots the walker that is now trying to get Rick so he's out of danger.
All of the group members line up next to us to kill the dozens of walkers coming from the barn.
I hear Carl crying again and Lori walking back.
I move over to them and shoot the nearby walkers to protect them.
It's actually a creepy thing. Showing no emotions at all. No fear, no mercy. Just killing.
Everything that comes out of the barn. Cold blood and shit.
Its like being one of them...
Daryl looks at me and then starts shooting. Should I be worried about his thought towards me?
We don't stop until we see there are no walkers coming.
I finally look at Daryl. He shakes his head.
I know what that look means. I put my beretta in the holster around my leg.
"you ok?" I ask Lori and Carl. They seem to be in shock.
Lori nods. I look back to the walkers with a blank expression.
Its actually weird how I dont feel bad for them... Anyways, it all changes when we hear new groans.
One last walker comes out of the barn causing everyone's face to fall.
"Sofia" I whisper.
She has a bite on her shoulder, right where everyone can see it.
Not you! It can't be!
I feel a tear coming out of one of my eyes when she walks closer to us.
Shit, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I should have tried harder.
You were supposed to be alive. We were supposed to find you!
I hear Carol crying behind me and look at her for a second to see Daryl letting go of his gun when she comes running. He pins her down holding her back as she cries and sobs her daughter's name.
I look back to where sophia is.
She looks disoriented. She's not even trying to bite anyone until Rick walks closer to her.
She growls one more time when he pulls his Python out to her head.
I look away and cry silently, feeling guilty for not finding her before it was too late.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath regretting killing the other walkers.
A shot rings loud and strong.
We found her.
Sophia is dead.