Inside an entirely white colored room, bunch of papers were scattered on the ground like flowers petal falling from the tree. There were no furniture at all, no lamp, just a shine from the window, papers on the floor, pencils, a keyboard and a girl with face half covered with hood that draw the picture on those papers.
The white door creaked open as another girl with hood come inside the room. Her teal hair fell from inside the hood which failed to cover it. She watched in silent the hood girl who kept drawing without noticing her presence.
After a while the hood girl finally noticed her. She put down her pencil and greeted her, "Ah! Welcome, sorry I was too focused."
"What are you drawing?" The teal haired girl asked.
"You mean this? Ah I was just drawing story" reply the hood girl.
"Story?" The teal haired girl tilted her head.
A big smile was formed on her face, "Yes, story."
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"This one is about a prisoner and princess." She pointed at the picture of a boy inside cage visited by a pink haired girl. The Teal haired girl assumed the girl must be some kind of noble judging from her dress.
Miku felt strange…
"This is about an assassin who values his principal over anything else." She showed her a picture of a boy in black robe sitting alone under the tree, gazing at the sky.
It was definitely strange…
"What's his principal?" ask Miku with curiosity.
The girl put her index finger on her chin while thinking deeply, "If I remember correctly it was "Show no mercy to anyone who stand in my way.""
"Th-that's harsh."
"Ahaha I know, but he is that kind of person, not even his family could stop him."
The hood girl then continued searching for the next picture she wanted to show. Miku waited patiently at the corner, sitting with her knee folded, waiting for her to find the next picture.
It was strange indeed…
Suddenly coming into the white room and without she noticed, she has been listening to her story for hours.
But she neither felt bored or annoyed, instead it was comfortable. Those stories she told was pretty interesting, it caught her attention immediately. Sometimes it was a sad story, but there were also happy story. But mostly it was all tragedy, although there were few happy moment in it.
It sometimes told about fantasy, sometimes about school life. There were also some which take setting in middle age era in Europe just like the one she just told her, about the princess and prisoner who fall in love with each other but can't be together because their world was too different.
"Ah!" Miku was snapped back to reality by her sudden shout.
With a wide smile, this time she showed her a picture of a certain boy and girl standing side by side, holding hands. But since the picture look old already, Miku could not see their descrambled face clearly. The setting took somewhere in a place which looked like a library, any other than that she could not describe more about it.
"What's the story behind this one?"
The girl stay silent for a while, it seemed she didn't know how to describe it.
"How about I sing it for you? You will understand it once you listen to it."
"Sing?"
"Yes, each tale in this room has their own song." The hood girl moved towards the keyboard waiting at the corner of the room.
"Listen closely."
"You sing a lot aren't you?"
"Yes! I like music so much that I fell in love with them."
"Nonsense."
"XXXXX-XXX, you don't like music?"
"Not really."
"Then can you sing?"
"It's a long story."
"Eh! So you can sing! Horray! I wanna hear you sing."
"Argh! Stop shouting! I already forgot how to sing."
"ne ne, let's sing together in that place sometime."
"Not promising."
"Yay! It's a promise then!"
"Hey! I said I am not promising!"
"Here!"
"Huh? What's with that!"
"It's pinky swear~"
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I never understand why people hate to walk under the rain…
The feeling of waters hitting your body … the feeling of coldness sipping into your skin … it was so refreshing … There was nothing better than this … My only friend who won't leave me …
Ah yes … I could not stay too long … I need to run … run as far away from this place … to a place in this world where no one knew me exist…
To a world where my existence was nothing…
Because I learnt this place was never meant to be my home…
This place hate me … it despise me… so why should I stay here… no one wanted me here…
My half broken leg carried me with their best, moving to nowhere. I got nowhere to go … if I kept walking north … I wonder where I would end up. One thing for sure … there will be a gateway there … gateway to freedom…
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Yes…
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Let's go …
To where freedom waiting…
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…
Huff huff…
My breath seemed like was at limit, but I still want to move. I was still here; I need to get away as soon as possible. Right now all the Angels were sleeping; No one will realize that I escaped.
The rain helped me by sheltering my body among their tears. I smiled unconsciously thinking that whenever I go, my faithful friend will always follow. It was nothing strange … seeing it was the only one I could trust. How strange … I was sure I already forget how to trust long time ago, yet I felt it was right to trust the rain which could not speak.
It doesn't matter…
He will never betray me…
Never…
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I wonder how long I have been walking, but I don't saw the gateway of freedom yet. The shadow of the building told me that I was still within the city, but they didn't tell me how far I was from the gate.
I know that I was reaching limit, it felt so painful just to breathe. My feet could barely walk any further. But my mind didn't give up yet… I can't stop here can't I?
But why you guys stop? I am the one giving order here … then you guys were supposed to follow right. Then why stop? Why can't it move anymore … Why can't I … move further…
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I was nowhere inside an old abandoned shop, sit leaning to window … watching those tear of my friend dropped to ground.
"Thank you … don't cry for me …" I said … towards my friend, but he didn't reply, instead he keep crying…
It felt cold … when the surface of window glass touched my cheek. I looked at the reflection on the glass.
The girl inside the glass has an ugly face… she has a few red scar forming line on her face, if it's not scars then it would be bruise which spotted … How ugly … anyone who fell in love with this ugly girl must be insane … I chuckled in amusement when something pop out in my mind …
Ah yes … I am the ugly girl …
The ugly one who no one wished to love … the one who everyone wished to disappear…
Whenever I was alone like this … I would always think about the flow of life I experienced …
There were so many questions yet there were so little answers. There were millions of people in this world. From all those people, why I was the one suffering? They said life consist of happiness and sadness…
That was bullshit…
There were no thing called "happiness" exist in my life ever since the dead of my parents. There were only "pain" and "fake happiness". Those two were the only one left. In the end dog could only stay as a dog, they can't became god no matter how.
I laughed softly … I was a dog …
Suit me well…
Then it means I was destined to die on the street…
The girl on the glass made her appearance once more when I looked at my friend crying outside. She was still so ugly … even I admit that she was ugly …
The ugliest woman in this world …
Strange … I felt something warm trickled on my cheek … was the tears from my friend hit me accidently?
Then it should disappear soon…
But this one doesn't …
I felt it drop once more, my cheek felt wet …
Then I saw the girl inside the glass was crying … it make me felt angry … her eyes were as if pitying me … Don't pity me … I don't need anyone pity me …
I wanted to hit her so much … but my hand stopped …
I can't …
I … I …
I … just …can't…
Because the ugly girl was me …
I could not hold the stream of tears flowing from my eyes … I wanted to cry so much … scream so much … I tried to run away from truth which told me the tale of my pain …
Why this world hate me…
Why?
WHY!
Was there really no one who will love me …?
Yes … of course no one will love me … I already know the truth …
I was ugly … both inside and outside … the worst type human…
The one who should die …
The one who should disappear …
The one who could only bring happiness by dying …
The Ugly Girl …
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She realized it from the very start, that she was always being a burden to everyone, an eyesore, a person who was better if she disappear. There was not even once she became useful for the people around her. Never…
She remembered about everything they said to her, all kind of insult; all kind of despise all kind of devil words. She wanted to stop thinking about it, but she can't, because she doesn't know any happy memories. All she could remember was those film roll of tragedy and despair.
You're an eyesore …
Creepy…
The voice of world ringing inside her head, her hands forcefully covers her ears but the voice was coming from her heart, even if she was deaf, the voice was loud and clear.
Everything was a mistake from start, her life, her decision. There was nothing she could do about it knowing she was being hated by the world, feared by miracle and tormented by fate. Countless tears have dropped from her eyes, but none of it could erase her pain. All those sweet memories ended with tragedy.
She already knew from beginning … that there were no happy ending for her.
She already knew from beginning … that everything was a lie.
She already knew from beginning… running will not solve the problem.
Yet she foolishly relied on her idiotic philosophy saying that she could become a God in different world. But she was no God. She was a lonely human, an ugly girl. Her Utopia was just an illusion for her to escape the reality.
She knew this from beginning … yet she still believes her philosophy.
A philosophy that was not different from a curtain of illusion which blocked her view of the reality. Behind the curtain she could do anything, she could play as a God, she could play as an Angel, she could play as a human. The Utopia of Falsity, in where she could lie to herself and ignoring the cruel truth.
But once the claw of truth tear those curtain apart, she was left with nothing anymore. Hands of fate stole everything which belongs to her. She has nothing left … nothing…
There was nothing more to keep her from those pain, the wheel of fate has come to take the price for deceitfulness. The memories will review the tragedy without stop inside her mind as her punishment.
She lied on the cold floor with hands holding her head. It was like her brain gonna break soon, the memories of pain were too much. There was no balance; everything she could remember was pain and torment.
Her scream and cries echoed like an insane girl in Asylum with the rain playing the melody of sorrow.
Why no one love me?
Why everyone hate me?
Why? Why? Why?
One small question lead to another, she could not find the answer so the questions keep being asked without stop. It's devolved into another question.
Why I am the only one suffering?
Why I can't love anyone?
Why everyone hate me?
What have I done?
Do all of you really want me to suffer?
What am I?
For what reason I was born?
The teal haired girl felt like someone was punching her stomach countlessly even though there was no one other than her inside the building. Her hand tried to hold the stream of blood coming out from her mouth, her eyes tried their best not let the tears leaked out.
But she failed…
Her tears could not stop, the blood kept increasing as she coughed every time. Her legs and body felt numb, it was like they did not belong to her anymore. Her body hurt so much like there were needles on her entire body punctured through her skin and tearing her flesh little by little.
There was so much pain…
So much blood…
Yet all of those could not make her felt death…
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…
…
To where I belong as to where I came from … to whom I love as to whom I hate … to when I blithe as to when I tantalize … to what I trust as to what I hate … to why I smile as to why I cry …
Prisoner of love …
That's me…
Ugly girl …
That's me …
I just realized now … or I just don't want to admit it … I still love him … but it's impossible … so it was not hate or torment which brought me pain … I was tired for being a Prisoner caged with reality … to love yet not being able to reach …
Was this what it felt when my heart died?
I … I always hope that moment could always stay still …
I always hope it …
During that time when I was with him …
During that time when I fell in love with him…
During that time after he hates me…
Always …
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…
To where the shadow stand to where the rain fall … He stand there covered with his usual outfit. The hood which hides his face still there … He walked inside the abandoned shop, in which each step filled with determination. He knew what to do … he knew … what the best way was for everyone …
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…
"Is it painful?" I asked
But she didn't say anything, only lie there motionlessly with blood on her mouth
"If you wish … I could free you …"
I grabbed her collar and lifted her body which was a vessel for pain.
Right hand grabbing her collar…
Left hand with knife…
"This tragedy life …"
"This painful memories…"
"Let it flow away like petal on the river…"
The metallic knife on my left hand was reflecting silver light … so that I raised my knife …
"Let me end this tragedy tale … this tale … it shall end by my own bloody hands…"
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…"Thank you"…...
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"Is this really the end?"