And here is the next chapter! So very sorry for the long wait, but real life has been getting in the way of our writing lol. It sucks, it really does, especially since both of us want to get these chapters out quickly for you all.
Akiru Chan and I have limited medical knowledge, so please forgive any errors you might find.
Disclaimer: Neither Akiru Chan nor I own Kuroshitsuji or any of its characters.
Two weeks had passed since Sebastian's trip to Ciel's home. It had been quite a pleasurable time, the weekend spent with Ciel filled with new discovery and intimate time together. Ciel had been opening up far quicker than Sebastian had ever hoped. He was now initiating kisses and touches, and Sebastian was no longer on edge as he feared spurring Ciel into another terror.
The two men were currently sitting quietly in Sebastian's office, awaiting Rachel's or Vincent's arrival to take Ciel home. It was quiet. Sebastian was thinking and doing paperwork like he often did, and Ciel was sitting on the couch fingering through one of his books. A question ticked Sebastian's tongue as he worked. He had been wanting to ask it all week, but it only made him nervous. It was like he was a schoolgirl confessing to her crush. Sebastian didn't like the feeling.
With a huff, he finally slapped down a paper and turned to look at Ciel. The action seemed to have gained the boy's attention, blue eyes looking expectantly in Sebastian's direction.
"Can I ask you something?" Sebastian said, hoping that the offer wouldn't be turned down.
Ciel tilted his head as he wondered what would be asked. He had a feeling it was something important, since Sebastian had been distracted basically the entire day. "Okay. Go on."
Sebastian shifted in his chair. "Would you still like to come visit my place with me?" He asked carefully. "I can arrange it if you'd like to go next weekend. We can perform your treatment there, and get you back to the hospital Sunday morning before your parents arrive." It would be rather simple really. He would call Mey-rin, Bard, and Finny to inform them that he would be making another house call to the Phantomhive residence. Bard and Finny wouldn't bother coming into the office, and Mey-rin would come in later in the day on Saturday to ready things for the following week since she was off on Sunday. Everything seemed far too perfect.
A stunned silence followed as Ciel sat motionless. Sebastian had mentioned a few weeks prior that he wanted Ciel to visit him at his house, but Ciel hadn't expected anything to come of that, especially since it had been a while since it had last been mentioned. But now, Sebastian had asked him, and Ciel realized that he was waiting for a reply.
"Yes!" Ciel answered eagerly, then blushed. "I'd been wondering if you would ask."
Sebastian instantly relaxed. "Great. Sounds like a plan." He smiled and leaned back into his chair just as a knock sounded on his door. "Come in." The door opened, and Vincent came in. It was a slight shock to see the man picking Ciel up, but Sebastian supposed it shouldn't be that surprising. Standing, Sebastian moved over to greet Vincent and shake his hand.
Vincent smiled at the doctor. "Hello. I was done with my meeting early, so I decided to swing by and pick Ciel up. How did everything go this weekend?"
"Like every other time," Ciel spoke up, humor lacing his words. It was as if his parents were waiting for something to be different, but the truth was that Ciel had grown more comfortable with the injections. He still hated them, but it was more tolerable now. It helped that Sebastian would offer incentives for Ciel to get through the injections quickly and without much hassle.
"Nothing I should be worrying about?" This time Vincent turned to Sebastian, wanting the doctor's say on the matter. Trust a protective father to ignore his son's assurances.
The concern was waved off, and Sebastian could only smirk. "Everything is fine. If there were anything to worry about, you and your wife would be the first to know." He patted Ciel on the head in a friendly manner, giving no evidence to the extent of Sebastian's relationship with the boy.
Ciel had a hard time keeping a blush from rising to his cheeks; that happened every time the doctor touched him, even if it was an innocent gesture. "See? I think you should trust me a little more, Dad," Ciel replied, looking a bit miffed.
"I would, except you have a habit of keeping things from us, Ciel. You won't talk about your nightmares with us, and you say that everything is fine." Vincent paused for a moment. "Actually, tomorrow you have an appointment with your psychiatrist. She wants to evaluate your progress, since you've changed after beginning these treatments."
Ciel made a face and sighed. "If I have to... I'll see you next weekend, Sebastian," he said with a small smile. A thrill of excitement coursed through him. He could hardly wait for his next visit.
"Goodbye, Ciel," Sebastian said, but a frown had settled over his face. He didn't like the idea of Ciel going to a psychiatrist, but it couldn't be helped. Deciding not to think too much on it, he sighed and got back to work.
Vincent and Ciel continued out of the doctor's office. It was only then that Vincent spoke. "You seem pleased. Did something happen?" He asked as he eyed the almost giddy smile on his son's face.
Ciel shook his head. "No, I'm just glad that I can go home. Being here at the hospital is boring at times." Especially when Sebastian can't stay with me, Ciel mentally added.
"Funny," Vincent said as they began to reach their car. "You normally seem so excited to come here. It's the rides back home that seem to put you in a bad mood. Care to explain that?" A hard look crossed his face, and he looked down at Ciel even though the boy couldn't see him.
Ciel struggled for something to say that would appease his father. "Well, Mom said that we could go out to dinner tonight, and she's actually letting me choose the restaurant. So I'm excited about that. I want pizza."
That seemed to appease Vincent, and he snorted at his son. "I'm beginning to wonder if your body lives off grease." He ruffled Ciel's hair and proceeded to help the boy into the car. "You know your mother is going to force feed you vegetables for the next week after this."
"When doesn't she make me eat vegetables?" Ciel grumbled. "I'm surprised that she lets me eat as many sweets as I do."
"She only does it cause she cares. Although you're thin enough, so something fatty would do you some good." Vincent continued to tease Ciel, loving the disgruntled look he received. It wasn't often that they got one on one time together, not with Vincent's work keeping him away from home more often than not.
Ciel rolled his eyes. "I think I'm fine just the way I am. And when I move out on my own, I'm definitely having pizza at least once every week." Another smile bloomed across his face as he decided that he was going to invite Sebastian for those pizza nights. Perhaps they would go to that restaurant they had first visited a while back.
That declaration only earned Ciel a bemused chuckle. "I do hope whomever you end up with will be sure to keep your health in mind. Otherwise you'll blow up into a whale." Truthfully, Vincent couldn't see Ciel being anything but the lanky young man that he was today. The boy just had a high metabolism.
A blush began to creep across Ciel's cheeks, and he fought desperately to keep it hidden. Yes, Sebastian did have Ciel's best interests at heart when it came to health things. His leg jiggled, unable to keep still from the nervous energy pent up in his body. He was really looking forward to next weekend, but he sobered instantly when he thought about how lacking he was in the knowledge of sexual things.
He didn't want to be left struggling through anything like he had been a few weeks earlier at his house. He wanted to be prepared so that he could pleasure Sebastian and not have to rely on the doctor for help. With determination, Ciel decided that he was going to have to do some research.
The front door flew open, Rachel stumbling in with her hands full of groceries. She cursed lowly, hoping no one would hear, as she tried to make her way into the kitchen. It had already been a trying day. She was currently putting together a fundraiser for the organization she headed that helped children who faced psychological issues due to abuse. So far they had been having problems securing a venue for the event. On top of that, she'd had to go shopping, knowing there wasn't anything of merit in the house for dinner that night.
Rachel set the bags in the kitchen, leaving them there for the time being. Nothing needed to be refrigerated, so there was no rush. She gave Sebastian a stern look as she moved out of the kitchen, knowing the dog would have loved to snack on the items in the bag. "No," she said when the dog went to sniff the air around the counter. He shied away at the tone in Rachel's voice and she seemed pleased.
Moving into the living room, she stopped short, not expecting to see Ciel lounging on the couch. Usually the boy was held up in his room this time of day. Instead, he was reclined back and listening to his iPod.
"Ciel! I'm home!" Rachel smiled, raising her voice and hoping to be heard over the music being poured into Ciel's ears.
Ciel jerked, his sightless eyes flying over in Rachel's direction. He fumbled with his iPod before turning it off. "H-hey," he said, attempting to sound casual. "Welcome home."
Rachel smiled, but didn't move away from her son. "What are you listening too?" She asked out of simple parental curiosity. Ciel was usually listening to some form of music or an audio book that he couldn't find in braille.
"'A Tale of Two Cities' by Charles Dickens," Ciel said slowly. "I haven't read it before, so I thought it was a good one to start next."
"Really?" Rachel asked, her nose scrunching. "It was the best of times, and it was the worst of times..." Or however it went. She had never been fond of the book, finding it too hard to keep interest in. How Ciel read such novels, she never knew.
"I think its interesting," Ciel replied. "I really like these old novels. I think they're better than today's novels." He squirmed a bit, trying to keep a blush down.
To tell the truth, he was not listening to 'The Tale of Two Cities.' He was in fact listening to one of his mom's romance books.
For a moment Rachel said nothing, before turning her nose up and heading back into the kitchen. "You must take after your father in that, but either way, come help me with the groceries." She moved back to the bags and began unpacking item after item and setting it on the counter.
Ciel followed her, making sure to put his iPod in his pocket so that she couldn't look at it and see what he had really been listening to. He began the task of putting the food away with a sigh. Today was a Monday; he had five more days until he would be at Sebastian's house, and he still had a lot to learn about sex.
He frowned. His mom's books were helping some, but it wasn't the same since the books were about a man and a woman, not a man and a man. Granted, Ciel remembered most of what had happened to him in the Incident, but thinking about that time caused him a lot of distress and panic. It wouldn't help him at all to rely on that information.
The question still remained, how could he possibly learn more about male/male sex? It wasn't like Ciel could go to a library and ask for information. He was well-known, and the librarian would no doubt call his parents and ask why he was interested in that subject. But what else could he do? He couldn't look it up online since he couldn't see, and he didn't know anyone he could ask.
So he stood there in the middle of the kitchen as he pondered his plight, unaware that he was still holding the jug of milk he'd been about to put in the fridge.
A loaf of bread collided with the back of his head. "Snap out of it, Ciel. Put the milk away before it gets hot," his mom lectured and placed the bread in the bread box. "It's not like you to day dream." Some potatoes and vegetables were set off to the side for tonight and Rachel put away some pasta and cans into the pantry.
"Sorry," Ciel apologized, opening the fridge and depositing the milk inside. He could always ask Sebastian, he supposed, but he wanted it to be a surprise that he'd researched sex for their weekend together. Besides, he was still embarrassed that he knew next to nothing of the subject, and Sebastian was a thirty year old man with experience.
That raised another question. Had Sebastian ever had sex with anyone? If so, had his partner been male or female? Ciel cringed to think that perhaps Sebastian would compare him with an old lover, since he knew that he would definitely lose in that regard. He just wasn't sure how to broach the topic with Sebastian.
A throat cleared, and Ciel jerked from his thoughts back to the present. "I'm sorry. I guess my mind is elsewhere," he mumbled and sighed. He would have to continue his plotting later on in the safety and solitude of his room.
"Would you like to share what has your head up in the clouds?" Rachel took the bag of cookies she had bought for Ciel out of his hands and stuck it in the pantry. "I swear, I've never seen you so flighty. Did you not sleep again?" A hand touched at Ciel's forehead as Rachel checked for a fever. Finding none, she withdrew but continued to look on concerned.
Shaking his head, Ciel replied, "I slept just fine. And I guess I'm just anxious about the treatments. I know that Sebastian said that they're working, but what if something happens and they stop working?" It wasn't a whole lie; Ciel had been thinking about that quite a bit lately, though it wasn't the thing on his mind at that moment.
Rachel just shook her head. "If something were to go wrong, I'm sure it would have already happened. Don't worry about it." In truth, Rachel didn't want to think of such things, either, not when she had begun to be optimistic about the whole thing. Even Ciel's moods had been changing for the better. He wasn't that shy and frightened boy he had once been; he was more normal now.
"I suppose so," Ciel said with a small frown. "I just really want it to work. It's been eight years since I was last able to see. I hardly remember what anything looks like anymore. Even you and Dad," he added and patted Seb's head when the dog whined, obviously sensing his master's glum mood.
"You'll see again. I know you will." Ciel was swept up into Rachel's arms and she hugged him close. "Sebastian will see to that. He cares, I know he does. He won't let this fail you."
Yes, Ciel knew that Sebastian cared, but there was only so much the man could do. He was only human, after all, not a miracle worker. But he said nothing more, only nodded and smiled to appease his mother. "He is a good doctor, isn't he?" He tried hard to keep his tone neutral, but admiration was present in his voice.
"That's why we took you to him. He's the best in the business, and the only one who is experimenting with this treatment. Dr. Michaelis is a prodigy, it seems." Rachel had a far away look in her eye, no doubt swooning over the male doctor. There was a faint tint of pink to the woman's cheeks, and she realized her hold on Ciel. "It'll be a shame when you no longer have appointments. He is so nice to look at, too," Rachel giggled and patted Ciel on the shoulder.
Ciel paused, his eyes sliding over to his mom's direction. Jealousy bubbled within him from his mom's words. Of course, she could see Sebastian, and yet Ciel couldn't. "You're married, Mom," he reminded her with a frown.
The pat turned into a light smack. "Yes I'm married, but that doesn't mean I'm blind. I can still look... I just can't touch." Rachel smiled, but then hastily added, "Just don't tell your dad I said that."
Ciel opened his mouth to say something but quickly snapped it shut, his cheeks turning a dull red. He'd almost told his mother that Sebastian was only his to touch. That would have had disastrous results. "Okay, I won't," he replied instead, swallowing the other words.
"That's my good boy." Rachel kissed him on the head and went back to putting the groceries away. Ciel was always funny when it came to her talking about other men, even though she was sure he knew she was kidding. She chalked it up to the sexual connotations making Ciel feel uncomfortable. It often made her fear that a healthy sexual relationship was beyond Ciel, and he would never find a girl to marry and start a family with. The thought tore at her heart, and she could only hope that one day her son would find someone who would understand and take their time to love and heal Ciel.
Ciel sighed. He couldn't wait to be able to see again so that he could finally see what Sebastian looked like. He frowned slightly, trying to figure out what color the doctor's eyes were. Ciel had tried guessing them before, but he hadn't had any success. Excitement thrummed in his veins; after the surgery, he would be able to see Sebastian.
With that thought in mind, Ciel returned to helping Rachel, humming a small tune with a tiny smile on his lips.
The job was finished quickly enough, leaving mother and son to stand in the kitchen with not much else to do. Rachel toyed with the idea of broaching a conversation, but Ciel seemed off in his own world once more. She frowned and shook her head. If she didn't know better, she would have guessed Ciel was in love. He had the airiness to him, as if he was floating on cloud nine but still unsure by how new the feeling was. The thought was pushed quickly away, and Rachel tried to think of more rational explanations.
"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked once more.
Ciel blinked. "Yeah, I'm fine, Mom. Sorry, I just really do have a lot on my mind. But are we done here? I'd like to get back to my book." He was already planning on escaping to the safety of his room to listen, where he wouldn't have to deal with his mom's questions.
"Fine, fine. Just stop acting like a lovesick girl," Rachel teased. "Otherwise you're going to make me ask who she is." She moved out of the kitchen after that, laughing to herself at a joke only she seemed to know.
Ciel froze, his eyes wide. Was he acting like a lovesick girl? It had never occurred to him that others might be able to pick up on his mood. Had it been so obvious? He bit his lip. His mom thought that he liked a girl, but what would she say if she found out that he liked a man instead? Would she be accepting of it? He wasn't too sure.
His heart plummeted to to his toes, and he tried not to think about it. He realized that he had to keep it a secret now more than ever. With a sinking feeling, he turned and walked slowly to his room to finish the book.
The phone rung in Sebastian's ear, each chime making his heart beat all the faster. It was nine at night, and the spontaneity of the call was working on his nerves. This was the first time for him to call Ciel outside of professionalism. A part of Sebastian thought that the younger male would not pick up, but a small part of him held hope that Ciel would answer.
It had been far too many days since he had heard Ciel's voice, and Sebastian found himself wanting to hear him. He was unsure of what they would talk about, or what reason Sebastian could give for the call but he cared little. Hopefully Ciel would be happy to hear from the older man; if not, then Sebastian could count his losses.
The phone ceased its ringing as Ciel answered. "Hello?" He knew it was Sebastian calling him since he had programmed the ring tone to be different for Sebastian and not anyone else. His heart beat rapidly and he clutched the phone tightly. Was it a good thing or a bad thing that Sebastian was calling him?
A smile crossed Sebastian's lips, and he sighed in relief into the receiver. "You sound surprised?" He teased, feeling a little more energized now despite the time of night. It was something only Ciel could accomplish.
"Well, you've never called me before on my cell phone," Ciel said slowly. "So I'm not sure what exactly to make of this. Is everything okay?" The fear that Sebastian had decided that Ciel wasn't worth his time anymore kept running through Ciel's mind, and he squeezed his eyes shut as he prepared himself for the worst.
"I missed you," Sebastian said simply, a smirk in his tone. He could already imagine the blush that would bloom upon Ciel's cheeks. A part of him wished he could be there to see it.
A pleased smile and blush spread across Ciel's face. "I missed you, too." Settling back against his pillows, he curled up, the phone still pressed to his ear. "So how was your day?"
Sebastian sighed, not quite wanting to discuss his day. "I had clinic hours for most of the morning. You wouldn't believe the things people come to a doctor for." He shook his head, even though he knew Ciel could not see it. "Had a lady come in with the hiccups. Apparently she had them for over an hour and was beginning to panic." It had been humorous, but unfortunately not at the time. Sebastian wasn't a man who enjoyed having his time wasted.
Ciel tried not to laugh, but it was hard not to. "That's ridiculous. Talk about a waste of time and money. I've heard of several things that can cure hiccups. Eating bananas, drinking water upside down, holding your breath."
"All rubbish really, but water will usually do the trick. If not then all you can do is wait them out." Hiccups were never a pleasant thing, but nothing to seek medical advice about. Perhaps if they go on for more than a day, Sebastian could understand mild panic. "How has your day been? I hope better than mine." The subject was changed, Sebastian not wanting to remember half the bodily functions and fluids he'd had to deal with and examine.
Ciel was silent for a moment, thinking over his day. "It was good. But my mom... She thinks that I like a girl," he spoke quickly, biting his lip as he was unsure what Sebastian would say to that.
There was a quiet snort before Sebastian's voice broke over the receiver. "A girl? Tell me, do I have competition?" It was all said in jest, Sebastian knowing just what Ciel was talking about, but could not resist the urge. "Surely there is some truth behind her assumption."
"I do like someone, but it's not a girl," Ciel said quietly. His grip on the phone tightened. "Sebastian, what do I do? She knows that there's something going on, but she just hasn't figured it all out yet. What happens when she does?"
"She won't," Sebastian assured. He had little doubt that he was wrong. "The last thing your parents are going to think is that you're having an affair with your doctor. If anything, it would be a fellow patient or a friend."
"I guess you're right," Ciel replied. "I just know that they can't find out. It will be bad for you the most, since you're the doctor and not supposed to have relationships with your patients."
It was true, but not something Sebastian wanted to think about. He didn't live his life by what if's, not when he had very little faith that they would happen. In time, Ciel's parents would find out, but it would be under Ciel's and Sebastian's own terms. That would be later, when Ciel was no longer his patient and they were not held to such personal limitations.
"Ciel, hush. I didn't call you to worry about such nonsense," Sebastian said. "Now tell me, are you excited for this weekend?"
"Yes!" Ciel blurted out, then blushed. "Ah, I mean, yeah, I'm excited. I can't wait." He squirmed in his bed, imagining how the wonderful weekend would pass. Sebastian would cook for him, and the two of them would get to know each other better. And there would surely be kisses and hand jobs, as Ciel had learned they were called. Whether anything else would happen, he wasn't sure. Only time would tell if he would be comfortable with more.
Sebastian laughed. It was good to hear such life in Ciel' voice. Often, in times like this, it was hard to believe what a dark past Ciel held. "Oh? And what would you like to do during this weekend together?"
"Umm..." Ciel didn't reply for a while. He didn't want to sound too eager for the sexual things, and he didn't want to let on that he was researching sex. "Talk and kiss would be nice," he said slowly.
"I think that can be managed. Anything else?" Sebastian pushed.
Ciel was positive that his cheeks were now bright red, and his words came out all stilted and rushed. "I was also thinking that maybe we could use your hands, too." Holding his breath, he waited for Sebastian's response.
"My hands?" Sebastian's false confusion coated his voice, making it almost sickly sweet. "What would you use my hands for?" Both knew that Sebastian wasn't so dumb as to be serious, and there was an almost audible stretching of his lips as Sebastian smiled.
An awkward silence stretched for a few minutes as Ciel struggled to find the right words to say. He hadn't been expecting Sebastian to make it so difficult, and needless to say, he was embarrassed about having to say it out loud. "Well, you could touch me with your hands, and I could touch you with my hands." He let out a small groan as he realized just how stupid that had sounded, and he covered his face with his free hand.
The silence was echoed by Sebastian. He couldn't believe Ciel had actually admitted to that. One thing shocked Sebastian all the more, and he felt his body warm at the thought. "You want to touch me?" He asked, not quite believing. "Where?" Because in truth, Ciel would just be asking to touch Sebastian in the almost innocent ways that were more common.
"I want to touch..." Ciel faltered, his blush growing deeper. "Dammit, Sebastian! Please don't make me say it!" He yelped.
Sebastian laughed, hearing Ciel use such language was more adorable than crude. "I won't make you say it," he relented. "But I hardly consider the word 'cock' to be hard to articulate."
Ciel's eyes flew open wide. "S-Sebastian!" He groaned, his face heating up as memories of a few weekends before flashed through his mind. He bit his lip; he must sound like a child right now, unable to say a simple word. It was something that he had stayed away from ever since the Incident, and now he found it hard to think about it, much less say it.
"Did I say something wrong?" Sebastian could just imagine the pretty little blush on Ciel's cheeks. It was such a shame that the boy was not with him now, although it was probably for the better. As it was, Sebastian wasn't confident that he'd be able to keep his hands off of Ciel.
"No, you didn't. I'm just not used to conversations like this. My parents have kept things rated PG since after the Incident because I panicked when something was mentioned. My captors used a lot of crude language to get their point across," Ciel explained slowly. "I never had a reason to use words such as...that," he finished lamely.
Sebastian smiled. "Well then, I'll just have to show you the pleasures of dirty talk." There was humor in his voice, and he was teasing more so than speaking with any serious intent. If Ciel was uncomfortable with such words, then Sebastian would just have to curve his vocabulary.
"Dirty talk?" Ciel repeated. The idea intrigued him more than he would care to admit. Truth be told, Ciel had shied away from any relationships prior to meeting Sebastian, and now, he was not only in a relationship, but he was willing to do things of the sexual nature, things that had once frightened him. "I'm not sure if you're trying to help me with my fear, or if you're just trying to corrupt me even more."
"Well, do you like it?" It was an honest question, one Sebastian was truly curious about. "Does it excite you when we talk like this? Does it turn you on?" Sebastian was pushing, he knew as much, but he wanted to see just how far things could go before he was forced to retreat. It would do little harm, and if Ciel wanted things to end then Sebastian would oblige.
"Maybe a little?" Ciel replied. "I just feel like I'm stupid about this sort of thing. I mean, I do know things, but there's so much I don't know." But I'm learning about it, he added mentally. "I think I'd be willing to try dirty talking, though." Ciel knew that if he was uncomfortable, all he had to do was say so and Sebastian would stop. That was one good thing about the older man. He pushed at the limits, but he always retreated if the actions weren't wanted.
"I'd like that," Sebastian admitted quietly over the phone. Ciel was such a sweet boy, but the idea of hearing such naughty and perverse things coming from that lovely mouth was just far too erotic. It made a pleasant shiver race up his spine.
Ciel smiled. It was good to hear that Sebastian was pleased. He didn't want the red-eyed male to become bored with the way that things were, and so Ciel tried to stretch his comfort level at a pace that was satisfying to both of them. "So when did you want to start?"
It was tempting to start things now, but Sebastian foresaw things becoming sticky if they allowed this to progress. Even with that in mind, he couldn't help by being tempted by it. "We could start now, and you can tell me exactly what you want to do this weekend. I'd appreciate it if you could be as detailed as possible." An evil smirk split Sebastian's face, and he imagined Ciel turning ten shades of red.
"Why do I have to go first?" Ciel protested. "I'm new to this. Don't you think that you should start so that I have an example to follow?" His voice cracked, betraying how nervous he was, and he swallowed hard. He had no idea where or how to begin. "I know that I want to kiss you, and I want to touch your skin again. And oh, God. This is kind of embarrassing," he whispered, cheeks flushed as he told of his desires.
There was no denying that Sebastian found the whole situation cute. It was good too see Ciel genuinely embarrassed about the situation and not terrified of it. There was hope that Ciel would soon find himself completely at ease with their alone eased Sebastian's mind.
"You're doing fine," he urged. "I want to kiss you too, every inch of your body until you're flushed and wanting for more. Would you like that?"
"Yes. I like it when you touch and kiss me. It makes me feel like I'm wanted." Ciel closed his eyes, imagining Sebastian's hands and lips on his body. He frowned. Sebastian had never kissed him aside from his face and neck. That would have to be remedied this weekend, he decided.
Sebastian was glad to hear that. "I want you," he said. "I want you so much." Inside his room, Sebastian walked towards his dresser, pulling out a pair of sleep pants. It was getting late and right now he just wanted to curl into bed and listen to Ciel's voice filtering over the phone.
A thrill of pleasure coursed through Ciel's body as his mind registered what Sebastian had said. A huge grin spread over his lips. "I want you to kiss me this weekend. And not just on my lips. I-I want you to kiss my neck and my chest, and anywhere else I feel comfortable with."
"I'll kiss you anywhere you desire. All you have to do is ask." The phone was momentarily drawn from Sebastian's ear as he removed his shirt. Cool air prickled his skin and he shivered. Next his slacks were discarded, replaced by his pajamas. It was nice to be out of such constricting clothes, and Sebastian wasted no time slipping into bed.
"And what about you? What do you want to do this weekend?" Ciel questioned, burrowing under the covers and stretching. It felt good to relax; he'd been on edge ever since his conversation with his mother earlier in the day.
The question was skillfully cast to the side and avoided. "This is about what you want. All I want is to have you here in my house, and if you are willing, to have you in my bed as well."
Ciel's heart pounded loudly in his ears, and he nearly stopped breathing. What Sebastian had said reminded him of a line that had been in one of his mother's audio romance novels. He gulped. "You mean you want to...have sex with me?"
Sebastian almost choked. Yes, he would very much love to have Ciel in such a way, but that wasn't what he had meant. He swallowed, liking the spark of arousal that stirred at the thought. "I want to have sex with you," he started out carefully, "but not before you are ready."
Ciel let out a relieved breath. That was one thing he definitely wasn't ready for, and he wasn't sure how long it would be until he felt comfortable with sex. All he knew was that it hurt, and he didn't like it. "Thank you," he whispered. "You're really doing everything you can to make this easy for me, and I appreciate it."
"If it means keeping you with me, then I am happy to do it." Sebastian turned over in his bed to lay on his side. The clock on his bedside table flashed, but he ignored the time. He had the morning off, and would be able to sleep in. It wasn't as if he was in a hurry to fall asleep.
A warm feeling, though unfamiliar, spread through Ciel. He couldn't imagine anyone better to have a relationship with. He doubted that there were others in this world who were just as kind and caring as Sebastian.
A yawn escaped unbidden, and he tried to cover it with his hand, shaking his head as if to chase the sleep away. "I would like to sleep by you again. It was nice when we did that in the hospital that one night."
"Then you may lay with me for as long as you like." It was unfortunate that Ciel could not be here now, wrapped in Sebastian's arms. He already was looking forward to this weekend, wanting nothing more than to have Ciel here in the flesh.
"I could stay in your arms all day," Ciel declared firmly. He loved the feeling of Sebastian's strong arms entwined around his body. He felt safe and comforted, which was something since he usually shunned any physical contact. It seemed as though Sebastian was definitely changing Ciel's view of intimacy, even if only a little bit at a time.
A long tired and content sigh left Sebastian. "And I could have you in my arms all day, and preferably all night as well." He paused, a small smile slipping onto his face. "Although I might be tempted to sample your neck, and perhaps your lips as well."
"I don't mind," Ciel answered shyly. "I like it when you kiss me." It felt strange to be saying these things out loud, but he couldn't help himself. He enjoyed his time with Sebastian, and he wanted the older man to know that.
"And will you kiss me?" Sebastian inquired, wondering just how far Ciel was willing to go. "Will you kiss me where I want to kiss you?"
"That depends on where that is," Ciel said slowly. "I'm not sure. I could give you an answer now, but it might change by the weekend, depending on how brave I'm feeling."
Sebastian chuckled tiredly, and smiled into his pillow. "No rush, dear. I'm only teasing you," he said, and turned to lie on his back within his bed. When on the phone with Ciel like this, it was easy to forget that the boy wasn't lying here in bed with him.
Ciel's face flushed. "Oh." He paused, deliberating what to say. "I have kissed you in several places before, though I think you're talking about someplace entirely different." He bit his lip then and knew that he had most likely said too much.
"What places are you thinking about kissing on me then?" Sebastian continued to tease, his smirk apparent in his voice. He was almost sure that Ciel would end up making him pay for this the next time they saw one another. Fortunately it was all worth it, and so much more.
Ciel sputtered, unable to form a coherent sentence. A red blush painted his cheeks once more, and he wished that he could disappear into the mattress. "I... I'm not sure," he hedged. "And I think you're just asking these questions to embarrass me because you think it's fun." The words were spoken without any bite, as he knew that was exactly what Sebastian was doing.
Sebastian laughed. "Of course! I can just imagine that pretty little blush on your face." It was always the softest of pinks but vibrant nonetheless. Ciel's cheeks often reminded him of the pink pads of a kitten's paw, and they were just as soft.
A slight huff came over the phone, but Ciel couldn't find it in himself to be mad at Sebastian for long. Truth be told, he actually enjoyed the attention to an extent. He felt important and wanted whenever Sebastian teased him. "I'm sure." A yawn escaped his lips, though he tried to hold it back.
"Are you tired?" Sebastian asked, feeling the tug of sleep. He didn't want to dismiss Ciel just yet, not when it seemed as if they had only begun to talk. A week was too long and even with the approaching weekend, it still felt like it would be forever until he had Ciel with him once more. It didn't help that this conversation had piked Sebastian's interest and left him somewhat hot and aroused with the thoughts of what the weekend would bring.
"Yeah, I am. I was up early today," Ciel replied, rubbing his eyes. "I've had a lot of things on my mind recently, but I don't want to talk about it yet. Just some stuff that I need to work out."
There was a pause before Sebastian's voice whispered worriedly over the phone. "Are you okay?" He asked, eyes just a little bit more open and awake. Sebastian hoped that it wasn't more nightmares plaguing him, for there was little he could do about them, especially with being so far away.
"I'm okay," Ciel replied. "I know that you probably want me to tell you, but I assure you, it's nothing too serious. If it were, I would definitely tell you."
"Good," Sebastian said, sounding pleased. "You know you can tell me anything. I won't judge you on it." It was assuring, and Sebastian hoped Ciel would see it as such. He yawned once more, and felt his eyes drooping back into slits. The clock flashed but Sebastian was too tired to bother to look. He knew well enough that it was late. They should both be getting to bed. Now if only he could bring himself to let Ciel go.
"Stay on the line until I fall asleep? Please?" Ciel requested sleepily, laying down and pulling the covers up to his chin.
"You know we'll just end up falling asleep on our phones again." It wasn't a bad thing, but it seemed to humor Sebastian in some way. Perhaps it was because it was the sort of something that you saw lovers doing in sappy chick flicks. Sebastian never saw himself as a sappy or overly romantic sort of man, but Ciel seemed determined to prove that wrong. It didn't help that Sebastian couldn't say no.
"That's all we have until this weekend," Ciel reminded him, a drowsy smile on his face. "And it may be kind of creepy, but I like falling asleep to the sound of your breathing."
"Oh that is very creepy," but there was a smile amongst Sebastian's words. "Although I think I find it more endearing than creepy to tell you the truth." The phone was resituated carefully, getting it into a more comfortable position. It they were going to make a night of this, then he ought as well get comfortable.
Smiling once more, Ciel snuggled further under the covers. "Good." A moment of silence, and then he mumbled, "Sebastian? Can we have pizza and cookies this weekend?"
A sharp burst of breath was heard as Sebastian tried not to laugh. "You're going to get fat," he said. "Maybe some cookies, but you can do without the pizza." A line had to be drawn somewhere, and the boy really need to find a better diet for himself. Pizza would do little in the health area, and Sebastian wasn't about to allow Ciel to take himself down a path towards high cholesterol.
"You sound like my mom," Ciel grumbled. "But I guess cookies are better than nothing." He rubbed his eyes, a yawn escaping once more.
"I owe you creme brulee as well." Sebastian had almost forgotten that promise. He supposed cookies one day and the creme brulee the next. It was a good reason for him to try out his torch. "But for meals, you'll be eating healthy. That means vegetables."
"Just so long as it's not carrots. I hate them." Ciel's eyelids drooped, and his words came out slower as sleep began to overtake him.
It amazed Sebastian at times, just how much Ciel acted like a child. Sebastian wondered how he must have been babied and sheltered throughout his life to cause such an immaturity. There was still a maturity to Ciel that shined forth when needed, but more often than not Sebastian felt Ciel was many years younger than he actually was.
"You should sleep," Sebastian finally said after a moment, knowing that the boy needed his rest.
"Yeah," Ciel replied. "I'll see you this weekend, then. Good night, Sebastian."
"Goodnight."
Ciel squirmed on his bed, feeling slightly uncomfortable. He adjusted the headphones so he could hear better. He was currently listening to an audio book he had found online. It was a romance novel, with one difference to his mother's books. This was a male and male romance book.
However, when Ciel had begun to listen to it, he hadn't expected it to affect him so much. It was easy for him to place Sebastian and himself into the story, especially since he and the doctor had done most of the things mentioned. But there were some things, one in particular, that they had not done.
It was that that Ciel was most worried about, and thus why he was interested in learning more about it. Of course, he did have some experience with sex, if one could call being raped experience. That had been a terrifying event, though, and he didn't know what to do when he actually wanted to have sex, so research was desperately needed.
The more he listened, the more he understood. While his mother's audio romance novels had helped somewhat, they hadn't fully answered his questions since he was interested in a man, not a woman. He found himself intrigued as the story developed, and he couldn't pull himself away, even though it was slightly embarrassing to listen to. He just had to keep reminding himself that it was for a good cause. He wanted to be prepared for the upcoming weekend with Sebastian.
The knock on the door went ignored, Ciel too engaged in what he was listening to. Once more the knock came before the knob turned, and the door pushed open to reveal Rachel, a laundry basket propped on her hip. She smiled at the sight of her son looking so content as he sat in his bed. The look she gave him was that of a look a mother gave her child, all warm and filled with love.
"Ciel," she called, a little louder than she would normally.
Ciel looked up, startled. "M-Mom. What do you need?" He asked and fumbled with his iPod, trying to turn it off. He was nervous, and he couldn't get his fingers to hit the right button. Finally, he just set it beside him, turning his attention to Rachel and hoping that she wouldn't catch on to how strangely he was behaving.
Rachel just smiled, seemingly oblivious to Ciel's panic. "What're you listening to this time?" It was a typical question. No one ever really knew what book Ciel was now drowning himself in or if he was simply listening to music. She came fully into the room and set the basket down on Ciel's desk chair and regarded the boy with affection.
"'The Adventures of Oliver Twist,'" Ciel said slowly. His fingers twitched towards his iPod, and he had to force himself to act natural. He still had one earbud in his ear, half-listening to the story while the rest of his attention was directed at his mom.
"Well then, I'll leave you to that. I just came in to collect your laundry." Rachel went about gathering shirts, pants, and other such things that littered the floor. She clicked her tongue and looked up at Ciel. "You really need to stop just throwing your clothes wherever you want."
"Sorry," Ciel mumbled, looking a bit sheepish. "I'll try to do better." He listened to the sounds of his mom scouring the room for anymore clothes that had been tossed haphazardly on the floor. He stiffened then, realizing that she wouldn't rest until every inch had been inspected. His thoughts flew to what he had hidden underneath his bed, and he hoped that she would just leave well enough alone and discontinue the search.
It was far too late as Rachel dropped to her knees and exclaimed, "You even had stuff shoved under your bed. It boggles me how you managed that." She reached under the bed frame and tried to hook her fingers around what looked like pajamas.
Ciel cringed, knowing that it was now only a matter of time until she began questioning him about the stained articles of clothing she would no doubt find. His mind worked furiously to come up with an excuse, since telling her that he had been dry humping with his doctor would certainly not bode well. "Maybe it got shoved under there when Seb and I were playing." He nearly snorted with glee as he realized that in a way, he had told his mother the truth.
Rachel said nothing for a moment, eyeing the pieces of clothing as she separated them out and put them in the basket. The stains did not go unnoticed, but no questions were asked over what they could be. Rachel might have been a woman, but she was also a mother, and as such was well aware of certain things when it came to raising a son.
But Rachel also knew how different her son was in other ways. What she had found was something that she had never expected to see from Ciel. Boys had such urges, and there was nothing wrong with that, but Ciel had never shown any interest in such things. Especially since what had happened to Ciel all those years ago. Rachel couldn't help but wonder what had caused such a change and if Ciel was alright. Now she knew why the pajamas had been shoved under the bed.
If she remembered correctly, and Rachel prided herself on her memory, they were a pair of Ciel's favorite sleep pants and shirt. Curiosity getting the best of Rachel, she couldn't help but ask, "When was the last time you wore these? They're your favorite aren't they?" She tried to make it seem as if she hadn't discovered Ciel's little secret.
"A few weeks ago," Ciel mumbled, keeping his head down so his mom couldn't see the slight tint of red shading his cheeks. They were indeed his favorite pajamas, and that was why he had worn them when Sebastian had stayed the weekend. He shifted on the bed uncomfortably, biting his lip. The audio novel was still playing, and it made it hard for him to concentrate on what his mom was saying, especially since the scene now playing was similar to what he and Sebastian had done.
Rachel hummed, trying to remember a date. Nothing unusual had happened in the past month except... She frowned deeply, suddenly remembering when it was she had last seen Ciel wearing the pajamas in question. How could she forget when Ciel had been wearing them for over a day after his episode the night before they had asked Sebastian to stay the weekend. She was so sure Ciel had been wearing them the night Sebastian had slept in this very room, and suddenly Rachel felt tense with worry. Quickly she tried to think of another night in which Ciel might have worn them, but could not dig up such a time.
"Ciel," Rachel spoke slowly. "Why don't you come help me with the laundry?" The sudden need to have her son safely by her side was strong. Having Ciel near her would enable Rachel to keep a close eye on him, and try to gage if her fears were ill placed and this was all just an innocent part of boyhood and nothing from a malicious second party. She could only hope for the best.
Ciel tilted his head, confused by the request. He wasn't really in the mood to be around other people, and he was apprehensive about what their conversation might entail. However, if he refused, his mom would most likely press him for answers. It would be better in the long run if he just agreed.
"Okay," he replied, turning off his iPod and removing the headphones. He slid off his bed and followed Rachel through the house, arriving at the room where the washer was located. A slight taste of copper arose in his mouth, and Ciel realized that he'd been unconsciously biting his lip this whole time. He knew that he had to calm down; otherwise, his mom would know that there was something wrong, and then the questions would really start.
"I feel like we haven't been spending much time together as of late," Rachel began as she turned on the washer and watched it fill with water before metering out the proper amount of detergent. "I'm ashamed to say that I don't know much of what's been going on in your life. Not knowing my son makes me a bad mother." She laughed and ruffled Ciel's hair. "How have things been?"
And there it was: the subtle prying into his life. In previous times, Ciel wouldn't be hesitant to answer, but now he had something to hide. He didn't want to lie to his parents, but if there was no other way, then he would do it. For now, he would just try to make sure that he controlled the conversation. To do that, he would have to give out some information to appease her curiosity.
"Pretty good, I guess. I've been thinking about the future a lot recently," Ciel said nonchalantly as he leaned against the wall and folded his arms.
"Your future?" Rachel questioned, now more than a little interested. It wasn't often that Ciel thought or talked of such things, let alone willingly brought it up with either herself or Vincent. "What about your future?"
Ciel shrugged. "Like what I want to do when I get my sight back. More opportunities will be available. I can go to college and get a job. I could be a chef, or a lawyer, or I could even take over Funtom Company when Dad retires."
Rachel smiled. "Is that what you want?" Truthfully she couldn't see Ciel being completely happy being cooped up in an office building, although she would not argue college. Going to college would be a good experience for Ciel and allow him to flow back into society. It was almost refreshing to have Ciel so much more carefree and daring to suggest such things. There was no denying that Ciel had changed, but in good ways. The hints of, dare she say, sexual abuse weren't there. Ciel was not drawing more into himself. On the contrary, he was pushing himself back into the world. Unfortunately, that continued to leave Rachel with questions.
A frown crossed Ciel's face. "I'm not sure. To be honest, this is the first time I've thought about my future in who knows how long. Sure, I dreamed of my future after I lost my sight, but as time went on, I just became more discouraged and gave up hope of ever having a good future. But now I have another chance." He squirmed slightly, not used to giving out so much of his personal thoughts. Hell, he'd hardly told his psychiatrist any of that, and she'd been paid to listen to his problems and help him through the difficult times. To think that he was actually talking to his mom about it made Ciel feel uneasy, since he didn't know how she would respond.
"It's good to think about all of this now," Rachel said as she dumped in some clothes. "But you always had a future, whether you have you sight or not. The possibility of getting your sight back didn't change that, although I do believe your outlook on life has changed. You look... happier." She smiled and patted Ciel on the head. "What's given you reason to smile again?"
Sebastian. That was the answer that Ciel wanted to give, but he held his tongue. "I think," he began slowly, "that it's the treatments. I'm facing my past fears, especially with the injections." Here his fingers rubbed his upper arms gently, where the needles during his imprisonment had been injected. "I'm learning how to overcome my fears and deal with my problems. Before, I was always running away from them, but lately I haven't done that. I'm not Faust anymore." The last sentence was spoken with a soft smile as he thought of Sebastian telling him not to give in to his fears.
Rachel gave him a quizzical look. "Faust?" she asked, not knowing where the book came into all of this. Despite her often busy schedule, Rachel was well read and knew of the legend of Faust. She was just unsure how it had all tied in with Ciel.
"Well, Faust ran from his problems, and he let them control him. I used to be that way, but I'm getting better now," Ciel explained. "I'm nineteen, Mom. I think it's time for me to stop acting like a scared child and move on with my life instead of living in the past."
"I'm glad." The rest of the clothes were loaded, and Rachel leaned over to press a kiss to Ciel's cheek. She laughed when he jumped, and once more she patted him on the head despite him being slightly taller.
A genuine smile was given to Rachel, and Ciel felt a weight lift from his shoulders. It wasn't often that he actually confided in someone, and he now realized that doing so made him feel better. However, that didn't mean that he was going to spill all his thoughts and secrets. His relationship with Sebastian was his biggest secret yet, and to have that be exposed would cause trouble for the doctor.
A small shiver of anticipation coursed through Ciel's body as he thought about the coming weekend he would be spending with the man. He could hardly wait, although part of him was still nervous about what kind of sexual things they would be trying. His thoughts returned to the audio novel he'd been listening to, and suddenly he wanted to immerse himself in the story once more.
"Are we done, Mom?" He asked, tilting his head.
"You can go." Rachel relaxed a bit, some of her sudden suspicions put to rest, but she would be vigilant. Something was going on with Ciel to cause this change, and no matter how innocent it might be, Rachel still wanted to put every fear to rest. Until then, she would watch.