Chapter 13

In the Wake

The crowd cheered as Hardy and Spencer crawled into the back seat of their rented Rolls Royce. A few guests threw confetti over everyone, Aria playfully scrunched up her face as it fell in front of her. Everything around her seemed to slow. Her eyes roaming around her like a child in a candy store. Right now she was in love; she was in love with the smiles of her friends as they cheered and clapped in complete elation, she was in love with the newlyweds as they shared a loving kiss at the back of the car, not bothered about the peering eyes. Then there he was, his hands stuffed into his pockets and that boyish grin that spread from ear to ear, the smile that made the sides of his eyes crinkle. She adored him so much. More than any words could really express. All she knew was she loved that moment more than any other because everything was finally falling into place. Everything felt perfect. She wasn't sure if it was because of the wine that flowed through her blood or because of the romantic atmosphere or maybe it was because everything in that moment truly was perfect. She just wanted to live in that moment forever with the girls, Spencer, Hardy, with him.

Then the car began to drive away and everyone began to frantically wave away the pair. A sea of sadness washed over her when she realised that she couldn't freeze time and live this way forever. She was happy though because it was beginning to feel like this won't be the only time she will feel this way. a surge of happiness shot through her body at the prospect of maybe one day being the one driving off into the night with 'Just Married' written on the back of her favourite car, the cans clanking against the gravel, the scent of flowers trailing them behind, all with the man of her dreams.

Once again, her eyes drifted over to Ezra who now stared back at her with his eyes gleaming with what can only be described as pure exhilaration, she knew her look mirrored his own. In the simplest of looks, she felt a connection, a fire that never seemed to burn out. Tonight her fire was burning brighter than ever. She wasn't planning on letting it die out so soon.

Aria began approaching Ezra who stood alone as the crowd began to disburse to their respective cars. She was stopped in her tracks when she felt a grip around her forearm. She spun around to face a drunken Hanna giving her a perplexed look.

"Come on. We're heading back to the hotel room." Hanna slurred as she attempted to drag Aria to the taxi waiting on the road.

Aria's attention then drifted to Caleb who now stood next to a very drunken Hanna and pried her hand from Aria's arm. Caleb's face held a grin that he appeared to be trying to oppress, but couldn't quite seem to.

"Come on, Han. Aria's got something to do." Caleb glanced at Aria with a knowing, teasing look before glancing behind her to where Ezra stood a few feet away.

"What?" Hanna questioned, her drunken attitude never ceased to amuse Aria, even at times when it really should frustrate her… like right now.

"Um. I left some stuff back at Spencer's." Aria lied as she began backing away from the couple, towards Ezra.

"Whatever." Hanna muttered with the dismissive wave of her hand before she was being escorted over to the cab. "Call me later, biatch." She called before bursting into a fit of drunken giggles.

Aria chuckled at her intoxicated friend being dragged into the cab by Caleb before turning back to face the gentle grin on Ezra lips as he jutted his head in the direction of Spencer's house. Aria smiled coyly down at her feet, internally squealing with joy before she followed behind the love of her life as he led her into the house.

As Ezra held open the door for Spencer's house for Aria to enter her stomach began to do somersaults. It was an alien feeling, especially in regards to Ezra, her ex-fiance, a man she should feel most comfortable with. Yet, once again, she felt like the coy teenage girl she was when she first met him. The type that wanted to impress him with all the books she had read and all the movies she had watched. The type that had something to prove to the mature man before her. Because she did. She had a lot to prove and she would go to great lengths to do so.

For a minute, she wondered why she had decided to follow him back here and why exactly he had given her a silent invitation. She thought maybe he would want to talk, they had exchanged apologies and stories at the reception, but this was going to need more than a conversation to fix. She was willing to grovel. She was willing to do a lot more.

Not breaking the silence that had accompanied their entire journey, Aria remained mute, waiting for him to make the first move. She had a lot to say to him, a lot of what she had to say was 'sorry' because she felt like saying it once or maybe even a hundred times may not be enough. She knew this was going to need more than words to fix, but she had to start somewhere.

Once the pair was in the foyer, Ezra shrugged off his blazer with a light groan of relief and hung it on the coat rack. He turned to Aria and without a word he removed her bag from her arm and hung it beside it. It was very domestic, like coming home from a regular night out with friends; it was definitely far from regular though.

Ezra then wandered into the living room, finding the environment a lot more natural than Aria did. Of course, she had visited Spencer and Hardy's home plenty of times before, but never had she actually lived in it. She knew of Ezra's situation. She knew he had to be dragged out here in order for him to escape his self-wallowing. The thought broke her heart. She never wanted to be the cause of his pain, yet she found herself doing so repeatedly without even thinking about it. Aria had been selfish, she knew that now. She just wanted to make sure that Ezra knew that too.

Aria stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame as she watched Ezra throw his tiresome body against the suede black couch and let out another groan. Aria smirked at him as she admired the image before her. She missed this; the tired Ezra look. It was a look she forgot to appreciate the last months of their relationship. Truly, she loved the loose-tie-unbuttoned-collar-look, mainly because after missing him all day it was the first look she saw. God, she missed him even still.

"I don't bite." Ezra teased as he watched her watching him.

She rolled her eyes at him before letting out a chuckle, "I'm sure you don't."

"What's the problem then?" Ezra asked, his tone changing from light-hearted to worrisome.

After their conversation from earlier, he was very worried about her. Of course, he was still slightly pissed at her, but he had only just found out this news and he had been crushed. He couldn't imagine how it must've felt to carry it around for months alone.

"Nothing. I just like looking at you is all. It's been a while since I could just look at you." She admitted with a shy smirk.

Ezra instantly broke out into a smile and nodded in understanding because he truly did understand. All night he had been unable to keep he's eye off of her. Appreciating all the little things he had missed, like the roll of her eyes or the playful scrunching of her nose. He wasn't sure if she had noticed him admiring her, but he wouldn't be surprised if she had. He found it hard to be discreet.

"Look Ezra I-" Aria began, trying to fill the silence that rose, however she was cut-off as Ezra stood from the couch and raised his hand to silence her, shaking his head as he did so.

"Listen, all of that stuff, let's not talk about it now. Can we just be me and you tonight? The same 'me and you' that laughed and had fun together. I miss those people…" Ezra sweetly asked as he began approaching her, stopping when there was merely centimetres between them.

Aria giggled and nodded, "I miss those people too."

With those words Ezra grew the courage to touch her again, his arm slivering around her waist pulling her flush against him. His other hand ascended to her face, cupping her delicate cheek, gently caressing her soft skin with the pads of his thumb. Aria blushed, awaiting his lips on hers. Ezra's movements were painfully slow, feeding the deep want that burned inside of them. Aria tip-toed slightly, edging him to touch her more, to kiss her lips. Instead he nudged his nose against hers as the labouring of their breaths began fanning each other faces.

It was now Aria's turn; she brought her hand to rest upon his and licked her lips, looking up at him with so much need that, even without words, Ezra knew she was begging him to kiss her. It was evident that the need was become too much for the both of them and with that Ezra slowly descended his lips onto hers. Kissing her gently and leisurely as if he wanted to appreciate every movement of her lips against his. Gradually the kiss grew hungrier and their grips on each other grew tighter as they finally could no longer fight the lust that they desperately wanted to succumb too.

It wasn't long before the pair both became two hungry lovers amongst the white sheets. Moving expertly together, knowing each other bodies more than anyone else's. Remembering every dip and curve, every sensitive spot, every birth mark and scar. It was perfect it. It was familiar. It was love.

With the chilly early morning breeze seeping into Spencer's guest room, Aria felt a shiver run down her naked back. Instinctively, Aria sleepily reached out, her eyes still shut tight, for some extra blanket in order to escape the cold air surrounding her. In doing so Aria couldn't help but noticed the void beside her; Aria had grown accustom to this emptiness as she found herself sleeping alone every night as of late. However, if her tired mind recalled correctly, this wasn't a usual night. Ezra was supposed to be lying beside her; he was gone.

As the thought entered her half-conscious mind, she shot up, completely alert and awake. Her eyes scanned the semi-dark room for his presence. Still, there was no sign of him. Aria tried to think rationally about this. He was probably just in the bathroom or went to grab something to drink. Even with those logical thoughts in her mind, she couldn't help but feel an irrational sense of worry. This worry prevented her from drifting back to sleep.

That's when she realised, the empty space beside her was cold and still as if had been left for hours. This certainly didn't settle her thoughts. Instead, it gave her the determination she needed to go searching for him. She jumped out of the bed and grabbed one of Ezra's hoodies out from his dresser before she went on a search for him.

After searching the first floor of the Hastings' household and repeatedly calling out his name, she realised that it was unlikely that he was still in the house. With that Aria took a deep breath preparing herself for the feeling of abandonment and disappointment that was going to rise in her if she doesn't find him. She hoped he hadn't left her.

Once Aria reached the kitchen, something moving in the back yard caught her eye. With a spurt of anger and confusion Aria stormed out into the back yard where, as she had suspected, Ezra sat on the deck chairs nursing a glass of scotch in his right hand whilst staring out at the purple sky, teasing the world with the promise of sun light. She was sure he had noticed her presence, but decided to ignore her. His look was contemplative and deep, but what he was contemplating, she wasn't sure.

"What are you doing out here at this time?" Aria asked, all her anger had left her, leaving only worry and confusion.

"Thinking." Ezra vaguely responded, not sparing her a glance. "I couldn't sleep."

This certainly made Aria's anxiety increase; she knew that she could be the only reason for his lack of sleep. She felt stupid for being able to sleep so contently, thinking everything was at peace and that their lives were going back to the way they were before, since that clearly was not the way Ezra was feeling.

Ezra absently whirled the glass around in hand; he had a habit of doing that when he was in deep thought. This immediately drew Aria's attention to the dark amber liquid that sloshed around in his glass. She was dumbfounded to find that he was drinking at such early hours of the morning. There was definitely a big problem here and Aria was unsure if she wanted to delve into it. She knew she had to though; she couldn't go back to bed and act as if this wasn't happening, as if he wasn't sat here in what Aria could only assume to be disappointment and regret.

"W-why not?" Aria hesitantly asked, unsure as to whether she wanted to hear the answer to her question. For a second she contemplated taking a step towards him, but the sigh that escaped his lips told her that wasn't a good idea.

"I'm an idiot."

Aria's brows furrowed as she felt a pang of hurt hit her chest; she felt winded, but took a deep breath to regain air. She knew why he thought he was an idiot. She had played him for a fool. She desperately wanted it to put it behind them and start fresh. She could only say sorry so many times. If he didn't forgive her the first time, it was unlikely he was going to forgive her the last.

"Y-you leave me for him and come back here and just expect us to be okay." He stated, a mixture of confusion, hurt, and anger lacing his words, his face contorted in the same manner.

Aria wasn't sure how to respond. On the surface, that how it seemed, but that wasn't exactly how it was. The whole time she was with Josh, she wanted to be with Ezra. She never left Ezra for Josh. She didn't feel like she left Ezra at all. She felt as though he left her. She gave him the ultimatum at a time she felt she really had no choice. Another point in which Aria found fault in Ezra's statement is that Aria definitely didn't expect them to be okay. She just hoped that they would. She wanted them to be okay. She was grateful they were…even if it only lasted a few hours.

"Ezra, I know this is cliché, but it's really not how it seems." Aria began as she took a step towards Ezra, still leaving a few feet between them. Ezra was silent and she took that as an invitation to explain herself further. "It's always been you, Ezra."

Aria took one more step forward, but to her it seemed like she had walked a mile. Her heart was racing and her breath was laboured from the anticipation as she closed the gap between them. She stood above him, looking at him with pure love and need as she searched for his eyes. His remained fixed on the horizon, watching the purple sky with his steel expression. Even though his face was vacant, like always, his eyes spoke to her. She couldn't see them completely, but from what she could see, she knew he still loved her. She could see the water that rose and the true emotion that he felt towards her. He was just hurt and so was she. She knew she had hurt Ezra during this all, but that didn't mean that she didn't hurt herself. Now, all she wanted was a chance to reconcile. A chance to prove to Ezra that deep down she is still the girl that he fell in love with.

Aria took his lack of resistance as a good sign and slowly she lifted her hand to stroke his cheek. As soon as Aria felt the tips of his whiskers scratch against the palm of her hand, he pulled away. In an abrupt motion, Ezra jumped up from his chair and backed away from her, holding up his hands to prevent her from reaching out to him again. Aria gasped at his sudden motion and took a step back; trying her hardest to bite back the tears that threatened to leave her eyes.

"I slept with Rachel last night." Ezra spontaneously announced.

Everything suddenly froze around them, neither one of them moved. Ezra's words were like an anchor, clinging on to Aria's heart and dragging it into the depths of her stomach. Every part of her felt heavy as if she was about to crumble to the ground. The first thing to fall was her tears, next it would be her head. She couldn't bear to look at him. She couldn't read him right now; he was like a whole different person to her. Suddenly her favourite book was written in another language. One she had no desire to try read.

A/n: It's been a long time and I am so so sorry to have made you wait so long for an update. I have been really busy with school and life, still its no excuse. My writing isn't exactly up to standard, but I hope you enjoyed nonetheless. Also, deeply sorry for creating more drama. Ezria honestly cant catch a break. I'm gonna add a little plot twist into this soon and a tiny time jump, but only like a month. I hope yous enjoyed, if anyone still reads this lol. Anyway, thank you for all you support. much love.

- Tasha x