Green Acres is the Place for Me!
"And then what did she say? Richard?...Richard answer me!" I screeched as I poked him hard in his ribs to get his attention.
"Emily, Ouch! What did you do that for!" Richard lurches forward and with a scowl on his face and gazes over at me menacingly.
"I want to know!" I pout.
"Emily, for the hundredth time, I've told you everything about my conversation with Lorelai. For heaven's sake, go to sleep." He turns over, pulling the blanket up over his head.
"You can't go to sleep!" I shout in Richard's ear once again.
Exasperated, he turns over yet again and places his face squarely in front of mine. "If you don't let me go to sleep now I will wring your pretty little neck. It's twelve-thirty and we've been at this for hours. Charlie Rose was a complete nightmare. I barely heard his interview with Donald Trump!"
"Donald Trump? Who cares! I'll summarize for you: Donald Trump is building another monstrosity that he intends to name after himself. And his hair is even more monstrous sitting atop his head like a pasted down hair ball. You missed nothing. I on the other hand, missed our daughter's breakdown."
"It wasn't a breakdown, Emily. She was upset but I believe I put her at ease."
"Oh, please with a Barbie Doll? I can't believe she would think that we don't love her just because of Charlie. Charlie is not a substitute for Lorelai!"
A slight snore seems to make its way from Richard's direction.
"Richard, Richard wake up!"
Richard stirs and turns to look at me again, "What more would you have me do Emily?"
"Our daughter thinks we don't love her! This is serious!"
"Sleep deprivation is serious Emily. This is not. Lorelai knows that we love her."
"Really? I don't think she does."
"Nonsense, we sent her to the best schools, bought her the best clothes. We made certain that she and Rory had everything and wanted for nothing."
"Yes but I don't think she saw that as love. Obligation maybe but not love."
"Well, then I am flummoxed Emily. What do you suggest we do?"
"Buy her a house!"
"What!"
"Primrose Farm is still available, we could buy that for her!"
"The house we wanted to buy for her and Luke as a wedding present?"
"Yes, that's the one."
"But the wedding is off."
"So she says but that could change tomorrow and someone else could snap it right off the market in the meantime."
"Not in the condition it's in--the plumbing has to be redone and new wooden floors are needed throughout."
"We could still buy it."
"But why? She won't live in it."
"We'll fix it up perfectly for her. She'll love it."
"But Emily…"
"No buts, Richard. This house will show her how much we love her."
Richard leans back hard into his pillow. "Couldn't we just send her flowers!"
"Richard!"
"All right Emily. Just turn off the light please and let me get some sleep?" He yawns for added emphasis.
I reach over and turn off the light. I sigh heavily and lapse into a happy dream state. I can see myself lovingly restore Primrose Farm for my beautiful daughter to live in. She is smiling at me and throws her arms around me in delight. She hugs and kisses me. Oh God, I don't want it to be a dream. I want it to be real.
It's a glorious day as Charlie and I wander around the premises. I hadn't planned to take Charlie with me but I haven't got a babysitter and she promises to behave herself while the real estate agent and I go over some last minute details. We walk through the house and take last minute inventory of what needs to be fixed and what needs to be tossed.
"You're making a wise decision, Emily. This house has excellent bones and it is a steal at this price."
"I quite agree, Maureen."
"Since I am basically done here I can send the papers over to you this afternoon. Shall I lock up or do you and Charlie want to stay awhile longer?"
"Charlie and I will be fine, Maureen. I'll lock up, no need to worry. And Thanks for all your assistance."
"My pleasure, Emily." With that she shakes my hand and exits. Meanwhile, Charlie wanders around the rooms peering in and out touching everything just like a precocious child.
"Charlotte! Don't run please!" I caution her with a pointy finger for emphasis. "These floors are slippery and worn. You might fall."
"I'll be careful Emily. I just want to see everything." She says impishly.
"Well, youcan still see everything but you can do it without running around. We'll be here for a while."
"Emily, are we moving here too?" Charlie looks up at me somewhat confused.
"No, Sweetie, this house is for Lorelai."
"I thought she already had a house," she retorts clinging to a banister.
"Yes, she does but it's too small."
"How small?"
"Small enough," I respond growing slightly irritated by Charlie's questions.
And before Charlie can ask me anymore questions, I add "She needs room for her horse."
"She has a horse! Neato! Can I ride him?"
"We'll see, Lorelai has to give you proper lessons first."
"O-kay! I like it here, the floors make funny noises but it's not so bad."
"I like it too. A little bit of paint and wallpaper, brand new wooden floors, a few changes here and there and Voila, we have a new home for Lorelai and Rory."
The kitchen could use some updating but since Lorelai doesn't cook, I'm loathe to make the investment. I have some wonderful ideas for redoing the baths too, but I'll hold off on those. The landscaping is very pretty and could do with some additional tree plantings but I'll leave that to Lorelai. I should peruse some antique stores in town to see what would look lovely in here.
"When is Lorelai coming to decorate?" Charlie asks innocently.
"I'm going to decorate." I respond nonplussed looking up at the ceiling checking out the lighting fixture and moulding.
"How come? Is Lorelai too busy?"
"No Charlie--I want to surprise her."
"But how do you know she'll like what you do?"
I suddenly stop dead in my tracks. I hadn't thought of that but Charlie has a point. Lorelai and I don't share the same taste. I have good taste and she has bad taste. What I'm sure to love, she will surely hate and vice versa. I want to do something special for my child and now I can't. She won't want me interfering. I sit down somewhat defeated.
"Emily? Did I say something bad?"
"No, you just said…the truth. I can't fix this house the way I want to because Lorelai won't like it and now I don't know what to do. It's supposed to be a surprise and now I'm stuck."
"Why can't you do it together?" She asks once more.
"Because…I don't know…I wish we could," I respond wistfully.
Charlie peers down at me sympathetically and sits on my lap. She rests her head on my shoulder and pats my back lovingly. She faces me and continues, "Hm, that's a toughie but I think have an idea."
"I'm all ears," I respond tentatively.
"What if you told her you needed her help?"
"She wouldn't believe me."
"You could say that you wanted to make it just like her house or maybe her Inn but didn't know how." She persists.
"The Dragonfly?" I look straight at Charlie. My mind is on overdrive. A white lie here and there; it might just work. Thank goodness for Charlie, I think to myself. Thank Goodness.
"Lorelai, this is your Mother."
"Hi Mom--how are you?"
"I'm just fine. I was wondering, are you free for lunch?"
"Um, in about five minutes I will be. It's a quickie lunch though-- pity you're in Hartford, otherwise I'd ask you to join me."
"You're in luck! I'm pulling into the Dragonfly parking lot right now. Charlie and I will see you in five minutes." I smile; she thought she was going to wiggle out of this… well fat chance.
Charlie and I stroll in hand-in-hand. There's Lorelai at the reception desk waiting for us. She glances at her watch.
"Wow, you said five minutes and you meant it."
"Punctuality is a sign of good breeding and civility. Charlie that is something a young lady like you should always remember as well." I smile at her. She winks back.
"Yes, Emily. I'll remember that!"
Did Lorelai just flinch? During my brief exchange with Charlie I could have sworn I saw her flinch. I wasn't talking down to Charlie was I? I smiled; she winked. Did I do something wrong? Is Lorelai upset with me already?
"So Mom, what brings you two here?" Lorelai asks pointedly.
"Charlie and I were in the neighbourhood and I promised to show her the Dragonfly."
"Oh?"
"And then I thought the three of us girls could have some lunch."
"Oh?"
"Gosh, Emily…it's pretty here. It's just like you said."
"Yes, Lorelai has lovely taste, Charlie."
"Look at the sofa and the pictures on the wall. Soooo pretty."
"Yes, and the tables match so nicely. Charlie, look at the paint colors on the walls."
"Emily, they're different in every room."
"Yes, aren't they nice?"
"U-huh"
"Ah Mom? Are you teaching Charlie the ins and outs of interior design? What's up?
"Why does anything have to be up to compliment you on the Inn?"
"Because I know you! How's that!"
" Really Lorelai. You are so suspicious."
"If only the other place looked as nice as this one." Charlie interrupts, right on cue.
"What other place Mom?"
"The place your Father and I bought as a real estate investment."
"And what place is that?" Lorelai edges closer to me looking straight into my eyes. I blink.
"Primrose Farm," I say, hoping she's forgotten the name of the house.
"Isn't that… the place you wanted to buy me and Luke?" She says softly as tears begin to form in her eyes.
"Yes, well it was still available and we decided that it might be a worthwhile investment."
"Mom, Luke and I are over…" Lorelai chokes the words out. Her heart is breaking and so is mine.
"Well, it's not for you. It's an investment. A fixer-upper and then when it's renovated, we'll turn around and sell it at a profit." That sounded harsher than I meant it to be but if she knew the truth, it would all be so much worse.
"Oh, I see… an investment." Lorelai says half-heartedly.
"Yeah" Charlie adds for good measure.
"Charlie, don't say 'yeah,' say 'yes.'"
"Yes, Emily."
"Excellent. Now why don't we have lunch?"
"Sure. Follow me. I think you'll like the food here Charlie. Sookie makes the best cheese burgers in town."
"Oh Yum!" Charlie says excitedly.
While we're seated, I continue to look around the dining room. It really is very quaint.
"Mom, are you taking mental notes about the décor again?"
"Well yes, as a matter of fact I am and I could use your help."
"My help?"
"Yes--I want to decorate the house in a similar fashion to what you've done here and at your house. You know, that country feel?"
"And?"
"Well, I am at a loss."
"What?" Lorelai looks suspiciously at me then at Charlie.
"I don't do country. I mean, my taste might be too elegant, too chic for the property. Yours would be just right, I think."
"Excuse me? Didn't you once say my house reminded you of Green Acres with a little Dukes of Hazard thrown in?"
I frown. "I don't recall ever having said anything of the kind."
"I don't know Mom, decorating takes a lot of time."
"Really, Lorelai, the way you renovated your house is just lovely and I could use the help. I'd even pay you consulting fees, if you like."
"Why don't you just hire a decorator?"
"Because Emily thinks your taste is perfect!" Charlie chimes in.
Lorelai's eyes widen, "She does?"
"Yup! I mean Yes!" Charlie nods enthusiastically.
"I'm really in a bind Lorelai and I could use your help. The way you renovated your little house is charming." I lay it on thick.
"Can I see your house Lorelai?" Charlie inquires.
"Sure kid. You can even sleep over sometime." Lorelai volunteers.
"A sleepover? Can we Emily?"
There she goes again. Lorelai flinched when Charlie said, "we."
"Of course you can sleep over." I say trying not to make a big deal out of it.
"But aren't you going to sleep over too?" Charlie looks up at me and then at Lorelai.
"I think Lorelai would like to get to know you better so it would just be the two of you and perhaps Rory." I respond.
"Doesn't she want to get to know you better too?" Charlie's eyes are blazing now. Lorelai senses something in Charlie's tone and responds in a way that catches me off guard.
"You know what? Mom should sleep over too. We could have fun. All four of us--you, Mom, Rory and me."
Charlie is very satisfied with herself and I can't believe how well this is turning out.
"You know what else would be fun, Lorelai?" Charlie adds.
"What Charlie?"
"If all five of us decorated Primrose Farm together!"
"Charlotte! What a wonderful idea. It could be a family affair!" I shriek with glee not that Richard or Rory would lift a collective finger but it would give us all a chance to do something, anything together.
Poor Lorelai. She looks like a deer caught in headlights. She begins to stammer and stutter but before she can extricate herself from this, I exclaim, "It's all decided then, we're going to do this! Now, I'm hungry let's eat!" Charlie winks at me and I smile back at both my girls. And finally this time, Lorelai manages a small smile as well. At least she didn't flinch!