Here it is, the next chapter! This one took a completely different direction than I had originally planned. (Don't you just love the little surprises that spring up as you write?) Because of that, it might possibly have a completely different ending than I originally planned. I still haven't decided which way to go, but depending on which ending I choose there will either be one more chapter or one more chapter and then a short epilogue. I suppose you'll just have to wait to see which way I go. Thanks for the reviews and enjoy this latest chapter!

Elena sat in her kitchen, staring at her half empty coffee cup. She was exhausted and felt numb from today's events. It wasn't like her to lose control like that. She shook her head, hoping that would clear Reno's voice from her head, but it didn't.

"Why didn't you just let me die," she murmured. "It would have been better than this." She looked around the darkened kitchen, pondering the idea. Perhaps it would be best just to end it all. To forever release herself from the constant struggle of forgetting the pain and then remembering the pain. Reno was right. It was time to end the act.

A knock on the door interrupted Elena's thoughts. She looked towards the bolted door, wondering if she should answer it, or let it go. Chances were that it wasn't anyone important anyway. She turned back to drinking her coffee, which was now lukewarm. Glancing over, she saw her shoulder holster lying on the counter next to her jacket where she left it as she walked in from work. Elena couldn't take her eyes off of it as she set her mug down. The knocking on the door continued, but Elena ignored it as she reached for her gun. If she did it now, there was a chance the person at the door would call the authorities. Then at least they would find her soon, instead of discovering her weeks later, smelling and half decomposed on the kitchen floor.

She held the gun in her hands, feeling the weight of it, allowing her fingers to move smoothly across the cold metal. All it would take was one shot, one pull of the trigger and everything would be over.

"Elena! Are you in there!" someone shouted through the door. She turned to look at it. She knew that voice. "It's me, Rufus. Tseng said that he sent you home and I wanted to check on you." A shiver went down Elena's spine. Damn President Shinra and his timing. Elena turned back to the gun, continuing her analysis of it.

"Elena! If you're in there, please, let me in," he shouted. Elena rolled her eyes. She supposed she could listen to him one last time. At least long enough to tell him to go away. Setting the gun down, she turned and slid off the stool. Silently, she padded across the floor to the door and unlocked it, only opening it wide enough to peek out at the distraught president standing on her doorstep.

"Oh good, you're here," he said with a sigh of relief.

"Did you think I would be elsewhere?" she asked flatly. Rufus shrugged and smiled.

"I guess I just really wanted you to be here…and you are…may I come in?" he asked.

"I was in the middle of something," Elena said, starting to shut the door. Rufus stopped it.

"But I would really like to talk to you, especially after what happened today with Reno," he said. Elena narrowed her eyes.

"How do you know about that? Did Tseng send you over here?" she asked.

"No, I wanted to speak with you anyway. I really think you need to talk about this, about what happened," he said. Elena looked down at the ground and swallowed.

"I don't think there is anything to talk about," she said softly.

"I think there is, Elena," Rufus said, his penetrating eyes trying to search her face for some kind of reaction. Elena looked up at him. She was frustrated. All she wanted to do was escape the pain and all he wanted to do was make her relive it all over again.

"Why won't you leave me alone!" she shouted as she tried to slam the door shut. Rufus caught the door and pushed it back open.

"Because I can't! I can't stand by and watch you destroy yourself anymore!" he shouted back. Elena stopped struggling with the door and glared at him.

"What's it to you? Huh? Why do you care what happens to me? Why are you trying to make me go through all of this again!" she shouted. She slammed the door opened and began pacing, like a caged animal. A million emotions ran across her picturesque face.

"Why, why would you do this to me," she muttered. Rufus walked up to her and grabbed her upper arm.

"Elena, look at me. It's okay. Just let go," he said, his blue eyes gazing deep into her frantic brown eyes. Elena wrenched herself free.

"I can't! Don't you understand! The pain, I can't, I can't bear the pain," she shouted, backing away from him. "I killed my best friend! The one person who truly understood me! I killed her! And then I put the lives of Reno and Rude- my family- at risk because of my stupid emotions!"

"You can't run from the pain forever!" Rufus shouted. It pained him to be so brusque with her, but it was the only way.

"Why would you do this!? Why are you making me go through this again!" she shouted, falling to her knees, sobbing. "I have nothing left. Nothing," she whimpered. "I, I'm a failure. I let Merlene down. I let Reno and Rude down. I wasn't good enough for Tseng…I should have just died in the explosion," she trailed off as the tears continued to fall. Rufus fell to the floor next to Elena and took her in his arms.

"You haven't let anyone down. Reno and Rude don't blame you. Merlene doesn't either. You did what had to be done. And as for Tseng, you never let him explain himself. He never meant to hurt you," he whispered as he held her close. Elena stopped sobbing, in shock that the president had his arms around her.

"Mr. President," she whispered.

"Shh, how many times do I have to tell you, call me Rufus," he said, gently stroking her hair. Elena sighed, feeling his strength start to run through her veins. She settled her head on his shoulder as silent tears fell down her cheeks.

"Why are you doing this?" she whispered.

"Because I love you," Rufus said, finally admitting it out loud. Elena shook her head.

"No, you don't," she murmured. "You can't love me. No one can love me. Please, just leave and let me die in peace." Rufus looked down at her, pain apparent in his face. "Just let me die."

"I can't do that," he whispered. Elena looked up at him, tears still streaming down her face.

"Please, let me end the pain," she whispered. "I'm not worth saving. I'm a monster. I killed my best friend."

"Everyone is worth saving," he said. "And you're not alone. You have Reno and Rude. Tseng is worried sick about you. And you have me. And I won't let you go." Elena pushed him away, trying to force herself not to remember the strength she had momentarily found in his arms. She glanced up at the counter, where she knew the gun was sitting.

"Not me," she said, sniffing. "Please, I can't do this anymore. I can't keep pushing the pain away." Elena stood, looking down at Rufus.

"Then let me help you!" he pleaded, standing up to face her. Elena looked away. She couldn't stand looking into his eyes.

"I'm beyond help," she whispered as her eyes fell upon her gun. She lunged for it, knowing she had a slight advantage since Rufus hadn't noticed it upon entering the apartment. Everything seemed to slow down as she reached out and closed her small hand around the cold metal. She felt Rufus' arms around her waist, but it was too late. The gun was already in her hand.

"Let me go!" she shouted as she struggled to free herself. Rufus grabbed her arm, hoping he could get the gun from her before she pulled the trigger.

"Don't do this!" he yelled. Even after weeks of little sleep, Elena was still strong. She tried turning, in order to wrench herself free from him, but instead ended up facing him. She tried pulling the gun in to her, but Rufus was trying harder to keep it pointed away.

"Stop it!" she shouted, maneuvering the gun in between her and Rufus.

Neither of them were expecting it to go off when it did.

The gun dropped to the floor with a loud thunk as Elena looked down at the blood spreading across her shirt. She swallowed as she looked at Rufus. It only took a moment for the pain to start.

"Elena," Rufus murmured as she started going limp in his arms. "Elena! Stay with me!" He struggled to keep holding her up, but ended up having to fall to his knees.

"So this is dying," she whispered as she grimaced in pain.

"No, you are not dying! I will not let you die!" Rufus shouted as he laid her down on his lap, trying to examine her wound.

"I didn't mean to kill her," Elena sobbed. "I didn't want to kill her! It all happened so fast." Rufus pulled Elena close to him.

"I know you didn't. And she knows you didn't," he whispered. "You've just got to let it go." Elena looked up into Rufus' eyes as her heart sped up. It was getting harder to breathe.

"I don't want to die," she whispered. "I just want the pain to go away." Rufus cupped her face.

"I know, I know, Elena. I'm going to get help. I'm not going to let you die," he promised. Elena was now breathing in short spurts.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she tried to keep focused on his face, but she couldn't anymore. The pain was too great. Darkness overcame her as she went limp in Rufus' arms.

"No! Elena! Come back!" Rufus sobbed. He quickly pulled out his cell phone and dialed. "I need a medic at Elena's place now!" he shouted at the first person who answered. "She has a GSW. Hurry!" He looked down at her lifeless form.

"Hold on, Elena. For me. Just please, hold on."