Chapter 13

Have you ever suddenly felt self conscious around someone that you always used to not care about your look? Wearing stinky socks, sweat pants, and over sized pajamas. I, Lucy Pevensie can, or cannot be officially labeled as one of these human beings. I'm still indecisive about whether want to admit it fully or not. But, yup…I had now become one of those girls who drooled when they saw Edmund Wells walk pass them. I had become (swallowed a lump) an Edmund Fan. Well… technically 'no' I was not a fan. I wasn't attracted to him because of his looks (which were probably the main reasons why most girls were attracted to him). I was actually falling HARD for Edmund. For all people it had to be Edmund. I don't know why, don't ask. I had a feeling it was not just an over night thing since I had been considering this for this past week.

My weird behavior whenever I was around him was the one main reason that made me realize it from the first place; heart beats faster, sweating randomly, stuttering words out when I spoke to him.

I was fine before I met him. I was fine when I didn't include feelings in whatever relationship I have with him. I used to not care if I burp next to him.

Now that I thought of it, I kind of ashamed by myself for not taking a serious note at my looks whenever he was around.

Did I just hit my puberty?

Both Edmund and Peter stared at me from their spots in Peter's bedroom, eyebrows raised with complete confusion. Peter was sitting on the floor with his laptop on his lap and Edmund just got out of the bathroom and just drying his hair with a towel.

I tried my best to ignore them but I couldn't. It was a perfect timing. Why Edmund had to come out of the bathroom when I was about to walk in? I was cursing at myself for acting like a complete idiot at the moment. What the hell was wrong with me? I was acting so weird.

"Need anything Lu?" Peter said in a brotherly tone. His bruises were so visible to see even from where my spot was. I knew he was feeling so guilty about mine, his eyes tell them all.

I gave him a warm smile and held the cell phone I had in my hand, "I just want to give this to Edmund."

Edmund seemed surprised to see his phone in my hand. He walked to me and took it, "Thanks."

"Tiara called," I said in a very suspicious yet annoyed tone and Peter seemed to notice that, "She called five times."

"Really?" Edmund replied examining his phone screen, "Yeah. Guess I'll have to call her back."

"Sure.." I replied, eyeing him suspiciously. I knew even if I was acting like Sherlock, my eyes showed a lot of sadness.

Edmund excused himself out of the room, saying he would call Tiara now, leaving Peter and I alone. I sighed tiredly and Peter patted the empty spot next to him, gesturing me to just sit down with him.

As I sat down, he put aside his laptop and turned to me, "Is everything alright? Are you still thinking about what happened this afternoon?" I didn't answer and he added, "I'm really sorry Lu. I-I promise I won't do that anymore. It was stupid, I know. You can punch me if you want. I deserve it."

I turned to him, for a moment there I was eyeing him in a disbelief expression and then burst out laughing after seeing his terrified look, "Your face is so funny. I should do this more often."

Peter sighed his left corner of lips twitched up, "That's not funny. I thought you were mad at me."

"I am."

"Lucy… I said I was sorry. Don't be mad at me, it's the last thing I want to do in this world."

"You are so dramatic," I punched his arm lightly but he pulled me closer by my shoulders and I buried my face in his chest, "I love you."

"I love you too." He muttered against my hair.

"I don't want to lose you. Don't act like a dimwit anymore, okay?"

Peter stopped stroking my hair and pulled away from me, "Did you just call me a dimwit?"

I grinned childishly knowing he would be pissed after. But I knew it was just a siblings game between us, "Oops?"

"It's okay, I forgive you," he said pulling me closer again and stopped for a while, "For now." He warned me.

I giggled against his touch and replied, "Aye aye, captain."

After a while of silence I finally dare to say something I had been keeping inside of me for too long. I had no time to talk to him and tell this to him and I didn't want to pass an opportunity like this, "I missed you. We don't have much time to talk and hang out anymore."

"Yeah. Senior year is hell."

I chuckled, "It will be a pay off if you win the game, Peter."

"Hmm," he mumbled softly and said, "I'll win the game for you. And then after the game, we can do whatever we want."

"Seriously?" I asked, beaming in excitement. When Peter promises something, he will always manage to make it happen. He's the best brother you can ever get. Unfortunately still having some bad sides you really want to avoid.

"Just mention one."

"Okay," I said, pondering carefully about my wish, "Can we go to the beach? With mom? If father has come home after the game then we shall take him."

"That's a five year old would ask." Peter teased me and I elbowed his ribs, "Alright alright!"

"So, promise me you'll win the game?"

He scoffed as though it was the lamest question he had ever heard, "Win it? I'll take control the game honey."

I raised my eyebrow and gave him a disgusted look. He looked like Jack when he said that, especially when he said the word 'honey.' He seemed to realize that too and we both shook our heads and spoke at the same time.

"No. No. You look like Jack when you said that."

"Yeah yeah I do. It grosses me out."

I chuckled and we both drowned into a more interesting conversation after that.

(+)

The hall was very intimidating. I hugged my shoulders since the temperature seemed raising. The lights were off but I could see some lights far in front of me were still on. A whisper of someone talking took me a halt. I was alarmed with his voice far in front of me. I quickly hurried to my left and just pressed my back against the hard wall, hoping under the dim light my figure was not seen.

I knew he was talking to her. I was so stupid for forgetting he hadn't returned to Peter's bedroom. The couple were talking for such a long period of time. I bet they missed each other.

I exhaled heavily trying to convince myself that there was no chance for me to ever be together with him. Who am I kidding, I'm just Lucy Pevensie. No one ever paid attention to me.

"Em, you haven't gone to sleep yet?" his hard voice made me jump and for a moment there I couldn't see his face, but his figure was seen clearly. When he stepped forward a little closer the light shone at his face, revealing his confused and unwritten emotions on his face.

"I-I…" I found myself speechless.

"Were you eavesdropping?"

"N-no…."

He grinned and patted my head with his phone, "It's okay if you were."

"Huh?" I raised my eyebrow in confusion. Usually if people were caught eavesdropping other people's conversation, they would get furious. Edmund was an exception and it confused me.

"I'm breaking up with Tiara. It's the time." He said flatly, playing with his phone.

I was of course, beyond surprised by his statement. I was sure they were alright but suddenly things had fallen apart. What did I miss? Wasn't I following his steps very well?

"W-why?"

"Just.. reasons." He said and forced a smile. I knew it was forced, he was looking at me like he was searching something lost in it. By that moment I knew he wanted to say more. But he didn't.

"I-I'm sorry….." I said, I didn't know what I was sorry for. The fact we were aloofing just before or the fact he was breaking up with Tiara.

He gave me a half smile and ruffled my hair, and then turned to the other side of the hall. Just leaving me completely clueless.

(+)

"Damn it, Lucy!"

It was a busy day for Hamilton High since in two days the match will begin. With the match mere days away, the students and even teachers were so busy preparing everything. The team even work harder, as everyone thought so. All of them were only connected through one collective goal: to win the game and get the first place.

Peter was in the middle of practice when I thought I could talk to him about getting the car again. Since mom hasn't sent my car yet (which I don't even tell Peter) I was forced to whine every minute to him about getting the car. I'll get my licence soon, why it worried him so much for me to take the car?

A few heads turned – too annoyed - as the tall boy pushed himself violently through the crowd.

"Get back here, Lucy! Now!"

"Catch me if you can!" I shouted and all eyes turned to me instantly.

Yes, while he was practicing, I could manage to steal the car keys. I didn't know why I decided to go to school knowing I didn't have classes for a week. At first I thought of Peter, and then when I saw Edmund and Tiara laughing in the field, I literally proclaimed to myself that I wouldn't be having good moods for an eternity afterwards.

Just kidding. That's dramatic.

He was some feet away from me and I quickend my pace, walking into the parking lot just to found a lot more students hanging around. The match hasn't even begun and everyone was too enthusiastic, even if they were just a trainings. If watching the trainings they could be as enthusiastic as this,then the match would be like an exploded volcano.

"Get back here, Lucy! Give it back!"

"No!"

I pushed though the crowd and mumbled sorry as their heads turned to me. I finally managed to get out of the parking lot and bumped into someone.

"Lucy! Watch out." susan's voice calmed me and I giggled.

"Hey Susan." I said like a drunk girl.

"you are.." Susan trailed off looking at me with a raised eyebrow, "Weird. Today. What's going on?"

"Oh, see this?" I hung up Peter's car keys in the air to show her, "I stole it from Peter. Cool huh?"

Susan cracked a smile and shook her head, "Give it to him back Lu. He is struggling finding you there." she pointed at the crowd just far from where we stood and I laughed.

"Yeah, right. He better not find me." I flipped the keys in my hand, just playing around with it, "I'm gonna go. But I'll be back before practice's over, to return what belongs to he king." I sighed dramatically making her chuckle, "Hey, do you want to come?"

"No, I'm sorry I can't. I have to practice with the team." she said apologetically.

It confused me for a while when she mentioned the word team. As far as I knew there were no girls in the soccer team..

"Team?"

She shook her head, "Not that team!" she waved a hand around, "The cheerleader team. If we want our boys to win the cheerleaders have to be awesome too, right?"

"Yeah, right.." I answered. "We should catch up sometimes."

"yeah, definitely. I miss talking to you." she squeezed my shoulder and a few friends of her called for her, "I'm gonna go now. I'll see you next time."

"Sure." I replied. Clearly, my face didn't show any disappointed look but after taking a few steps forward Susan turned her head at me again.

"Can I come over tonight? I'll bring some movies." she said with a soft smile of hers that I really loved.

"S-sure." I stuttered, shocked over her sudden proclaim. It stunned me for a while that she said that. But I've always loved her. I admired her secretly so having her around always makes me happy.

I turned around just trying to find where did Peter park her car when I realized now I was outside of the parking lot.

"Shoot." I muttered and groaned. I couldn't go back in, I could literally see Peter's head popping out from the crowd's heads.

When I was in a hard time of thinking a way out, my eyes landed on him. It was always like this. I didn't get it one a bit. I didn't intentionally look for him, but he was always there. Even at times when I wanted so bad to avoid him.

He was with a few friends, I didn't know he could get there. I thought he was in the field seconds ago.

And then there she came, his 'sweet' and 'sexy' ex-girlfriend. I scoffed. What was good about her anyway?

No no, I don't want to think like that. I'm not jealous.

Am I?

I don't want to be mean secretly to her. She did nothing to harm me, so shall I to her. They had broken up anyway.

I shuddered when his eyes met mine. I knew he knew I was standing there, and he happened wanted to see me.

I gave him a small smile but he didn't reply it. He just bit his lower lip slightly, shoving his hands to his shorts pockets and when one of his friends slapped his arm, he turned to them again.

I sighed. I wasn't a part of their group since the beginning. I had no friends, except Jack and Susan. Both my brother's friends and both are seniors.

Samantha? She had gone long ago after what happened in the hall. When we met, she acted like we were strangers. She was so disgusted by me for I didn't know what reason.

"Lucy!" Peter's yell made my eyes widen. For long had I been standing there thinking about my life? Peter was getting nearer and I slapped my forehead.

I memontarally forgotten I got chased my a Golden Retriver.

Kidding.

"Not gonna happen Peter!" I yelled back before finally started running again. When I reached the school gate, I didn't know just whether to cross the street or turn right or left. Because either both of my sides were too crowded, whereas the other side of the street was almost inhabitated.

So, I decided I should cross.

I was running and both looking back, trying to see if Peter had caught up with me when a car's honk made me stumble a bit. My eyes went wide as I desperately fanned my arms, trying to regain my lost balance. And by then someone had pushed me forward with their hands around me and we both fell on the other side of the street with my back against the ground.

"Argh." I groaned over the pain. My back literally was hurting.

The person that just saved me was so still, laying on the top of me with his head rested on my right shoulder. I thought he was dead and I was panicked. I thought he was Peter, since I obviously knew Peter was just behind me before the incident.

But as his figure held his head and stared down at me, my eyes widen a little bit.

"Are you alright? Did you break anything?" Edmund's questions snapped me back to reality. Our faces were inches away and his breath tickled my nose. Our bodies were pressed hard against each other. Our situation was awkward enough for me to instantly realize it, but apparently he didn't. "God, Lucy. Are you struggling at seeing things too now other than math?"

"I-I.." I trailed off and swallowed a lump."I'm fine. M-my back hurts though."

My eyes were definitely shown shock. Was I really okay?

A car door was slammed violently shut and a middle aged man with his shirt buttoned in a wrong way and half bald (yeah..) came out and rushed at us.

"God, pay attention when you are crossing the street pal! You could have died!"

"Exactly." Edmund mumbled to his reaction for that, but his eyes fixed on me as though his reply was directed to me.

"You too lover boy! Watch where your girlfriend is walking!"

"Excuse me?" Edmund finally looked up to the man and when he realized he was still laying on the top of me, he blushed and locked eyes with me, before finally rolled aside and got to his feet. "You are the one who should drive more carefully, sir. look at the sign. Your speed could have killed her!"

"The car is new. If you make any scratch for that gal, you're gonna pay a lot. Hear me?"

I knew the angry words were directed to me but Edmund seemed to be in control of defending me. Or I didn't know what he was doing for. I thought he was mad at me.

"Go to hell, ok! Don't blame her don't yell at her like that! She didn't do anything wrong!"

"whatever, teenagers." the man rolled his eyes and pointed at me, "Next time, cross the street carefully gal." and then he walked away and got to his car.

"Stupid asshole." Edmund said loudly.

I was still sitting on the ground, my head was spinning around. Yes, I was in shock. I thought I had died. I've never experienced such thing before.

Edmund finally turned to me, his face went slightly panic as he reliazed I was still there. He bent down and looked at me, trying to find if I broke anything, "Lucy."

"H-huh?" I replied, holding my forehead as I started sing stars surrounding my head.

"You are in shock, let me take you home." he said in a lower voice and his face went from soft to...

Hard.

I stared at him for a while, not getting his constant feelings and expressions that got me confused tons of times.

"Have you ever heard of being, I don't know - consistent, Edmund?" I said to him with squinted eyes. I was fed up with him. He could be so soft but hard to handle afterwards in merely a second.

"What are you talking about?"

"You. I'm talking about you and your stupid un consistent feelings of yours."

"Lucy, you don't know what you're talking about. come on, let me take you home." he said, trying to lift me off the ground but I pushed his hands away.

"Get away from me." I said in a lower voice. I didn't know I had started crying by then. I didn't realize I was crying the whole time I was talking to him.

"L-Lucy.. Please.. Don't-"

"Lucy!" Peter's voice made me wipe away my tears. "What happened?!"

"I was hit-"

"almost got hit. By a car." Edmund finished for me. I only glanced at him from the corne of eye.

"Why, Lucy! You could have gotten yourself killed!" Peter said definitely worried, "I'll take you home okay."

I only nodded and sniffed. Peter probably had realized I had cried earlier and he glanced at m from the corner of my eyes before started to try pulling me up to my feet. He knew he shouldn't ask. That's why I love him.

But I groaned as I tried to get to my balance.

"argh, my back."

Edmund hurriedly turned to Peter, "She fell on her back. Let me take her home, you can continue your practice."

"But, what about her?" Peter replied in concern.

Edmund took my left arm and put it around his shoulders while his other hand slipped around my waist to help me steady, "I'll drive her home."

"Is it alright with you Lu?"

"Can't you just skip practice for me?" I told him. I was so sad when I said it. The fact he hadn't been able to have some time with me lately made me lonely, at some point. added with the problem I had with Edmund that caused by what I don't know just added more pressure to me.

I missed my brother.

"I can," Peter replied and his face softentened, "if you want to."

I gave him a small smile before he takes my arm around my shoulders and helped me walk. Edmund let go of me instantly.

"Thanks for the offer Ed, but you can continue your practice. Tell couch I'm getting Lucy home."

"Of course." Edmund replied and threw him a smile.

"thank you for your help, I didn't know what would have happened if you weren't there." peter added before finally walking me towards his car.

I didn't say anything. I didn't even glance back to see his face.

(+)

He had saved me. It was a perfect timing, just as always. This and the fact that he tended to act like he would care, and the next thing he would do his silent treatment on me again.

Well, it was my fault afterall that I didn't see a car coming. My fault that I had gotten in a potentially dangerous situation.

Still, nobody had ever asked Edmund to play his role as the knight in shining armor.

"Are you going to be fine?" Susan asked, laying next to me on my bed with her arms rested behind her head.

She had been here since she got a call from Peter about my incident. I was pretty startled when she burst into my bedroom and was yelling stuff. She is a pretty loyal friend.

"I'm still breathing, don't worry that much." I replied as I sat up, "Even though my back is killing me slowly right now."

"don't say that."

"Sorry," I mumbled. I knew how worried she was about me and when I always said stuff without even thinking about it first, she would instantly give me her 'don't you dare say that' look, "It will be fine tomorrow though."

"I hope so. Want me to massage it again?" she offered nicely as she sat up.

"No, that's enough. As much as I want you to do it again, because those little hands of yours could actually be handful for that kind of stuff," she chuckled and I added, "I'm fine now."

"just tell me when you need anything again alright?"

"Sure."

"Anyways, I have to go," Susan said and got on her feet, "I want to stay longer but my parents set me a curfew." she rolled her eyes and grabbed her first on the night table.

"You are what? Eighteen? And still have a curfew?" I chortled as I spoke.

"Today's parents don't really approve about modern life."

I laughed holding my stomach and flinched when it actually hurt my waist when my whole body vibrated, "Don't make me laugh don't make me laugh."

Susan's roar of laughter made me laugh even more and as much as I wanted to make her stop, I couldn't. "It's true," she said and continued, "One day, my dad called me from downstairs. He said, 'Susan, Susan please come down here'" she gestured lazily, "and I lazily came downstairs just practically annoyed that he had to make me walk all the way downstairs because I was studying for my pop quizzez the next day," she told me and her body started vibrating, "And he asked the most random question ever."

"What was it?" I asked giggling, knowing the next thing she would tell me would be so funny.

"He asked, 'I don't understand technology, how do I copy paste?'" she and I bust out laughing after that.

It was comforting having her around. I knew I couldn't be left alone. I can't talk to Peter, he wouldn't understand how I was feeling aside from the shock. All he was asking and worried about was me getting hit, whereas I'm not really thinking about it.

I'm thinking about him saving me so suddenly and acted as though he was guilty for more than hurting my back.

A knock on the door made us stop.

"Come in." I said, the laugh still remained inside my throat.

Edmund opened the door slowly with a hand shoved inside his pocket. He would always do that, I don't know in purpose or not. Sometimes I thought maybe he would do that if he was nervous.

"H-hey." he greeted me in stutter.

"Hey." I replied in barely a whisper. I didn't question about his presence here, but I did question why he was here now but never before, for good purpose. Ever since he started dating he never was there anymore.

He did, but to yell at me. Those cold stares, not saying hi whenever he passed by, or anything else. He wasn't there.

"Call me if you need anything." Susan spoke after a long awkward silence. She knew she had to leave both of us alone. I didn't ask, but glad she got the hint. Unlike Peter.

Seriously, both of them have huge diffrences, I started to question whether they would be good to become a couple. I'm such a bad sister.

"Sure, thanks Su." I replied and she closed the door carefully. I turned to Edmund again, finding him resting his back against the wall next to the door, "What do you want?" I sounded harsher than I should have.

"I'm sorry." he said after a while with his eyes closed.

I didn't answer for a while. I stared at him. Hard. He looked so... Tired. Depressed. I could see his dark circles under his eyes from where I sat. His body was tense, even when he was covering it all with long-sleeve black sweater and a pair of dark washed jeans.

Remember the first day I met him? Yeah, now he is wearing the same clothes. Even the same shoes. I remembered, didn't I?

Maybe I had taken notice of him since the first day.

"What you are sorry for? Giving me a silence treatment or the yelling part outside the CD store?"

He sighed and banged the back part of his head against the wall, eyes still closed, "I've made a lot of mistakes, haven't I?"

"Yeah, guess so." I replied in a whisper. He wasn't supposed to hear, but considering the room was very silence and pretty much just both of us in presence, I guess he heard it pretty well.

"I've got a lot in my mind lately. It's just hard to deal with all of them at the same time," he said, "I'm just.. i-I'm sorry."

I observed him from the corner of my eyes and I sighed angrily, "You have no idea what you're apologizing for, do you?"

"I-I know, b-but-"

"Then why keep on apologizing when you can do better than that?" I snapped at him.

He didn't answer. He just stared at me for a while, eyes looking as though he had the explanation but held it back. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

He walked up to me and sat beside me.

"Does Peter know you are here?" I asked him randomly.

"He does." he replied, eyes fixed on the floor.

"Well, guess he shouldn't have let you in."

Edmund turned to me instantly, "Lucy, don't act like this-"

"Like what?" I snapped again at him making him shut his mouth.

"I know what mistakes I did, okay. I know where I am wrong at. Unlike you." He said sternly but carefully so that he wouldn't hurt me in some ways.

"I beg your pardon?" I asked in disbelief.

"You are angry not because the silent treatment. But because I'm dating Tiara and I didn't even tell you." he threw his words at me making me gap.

I blinked a few times in disbelief and finding myself stuttering my next words, "W-what?" I scoffed nervously and added, "N-no! No! W-why would I- No!"

He scoffed and turned away from me, playing with his hands, "See? You don't even want to admit the problem. This will have no end."

I was silent for a while. Yeah, I guess it was the problem why I was mad at him. I guess it wasn't about the silent treatment anymore.

For all I care, he could not talk to me for days and I could live with it. eventually we'll talk again somehow.

But him dating someone not even telling me, it's like he makes a black scratch on my white canvas. It doesn't look pretty with it.

"I was pissed when all of sudden you never came over anymore, okay," I started after a long time of thinking, "I was even more pissed when you gave me a cold shoulder every time we met."

He turned to me slowly, not believing I was telling him what's been bugging me.

"I was angry that you always made presence around me but never came to say, at least hi," I noticed my voice was trembling as I continued and I became aware of the possibility I might cry, "I was angrier when I had to know you are dating Tiara from Susan. I thought we were friends. Even when we fought a lot. You're the only person that could argue with me a ton of time and I could still call you a friend." I sharpened my last word. because it hurt to know I had to say it all to him. Because he had to know. It hurt.

"I don't want to lose you. It's weird, b-but," I paused and stared at him hard, "It's the truth."

He was gaping a little, I guess if anyone sees it they couldn't tell that he was. It was a small gap.

"I was in no intention of hurting you, Lu," he started, shifting his position so he his whole body was facing, "I would never hurt you if I could. But I was hurt myself-"

"Why?" I cut off, my voice was raising.

He sighed and lower his voice, "I can't tell you."

"Oh yeah," I scoffed annoyingly, "So I have tell you everything and you can't? Well-played Wells."

"It's not-"

"Forget it." I cut him off again not wanting to hear anymore of his baffling and got on my feet and head towards the door.

But before I could make it out he already took my arm and spun me around, "Listen to me!"

"For what? I'm tired of listening. You don't give me any rational answers for me to fully understand." I said angrily at him.

I knew he wanted to tell me but he held back. I knew he wanted to tell me anything but he chose not to.

"I can't tell you.." he trailed off, eyes begging me to just softened and listen to him. But I don't want to.

"Can you just," I paused my temper was in no control, " Can you just get out of here?"

"Lucy, I'm not finished," he said and put his hands on my shoulders and put his face inches away from me. He always knew how to make me nervous and listen, "I can't tell you, yet." he said softly.

My eyes softened. He would tell me, but not now. But what is he waiting for?

"As much as I want to tell you, Lucy, that I'm dying to," he said meaningfully and added, "I can't now. It takes time."

"I don't understand.."

"You don't. Because the only one who understands is me." he said and stroked my cheek softly. It gave me tingles and I was sure my face was blushing but he stayed relax, "I know I sound like a desperate guy trying to sort things out. I promise I'll tell you Lu. I'm sorry I'm hurting you. I didn't mean to, believe me," he said slowly in a whisper and his face was getting closer in each breath, "You are the last person I want to hurt in this world."

"Then why are you doing all of this and kept your distance away from me?" I asked him, unintentionally my eyes stared at his lips. It was a temptation with our distance this close. I didn't even know why he was this close knowing I wouldn't be comfortable.

"You'll never notice, won't you Lu? You'll never realize." he said to me. Our faces were so close, he brought his face closer to me.

Our lips almost touched but he stopped bringing his face forward and whispered, "I'm always here if you need me. Even if you don't ask. Always Lu." he said and backed away slowly.

He noticed how red my face was. He almost kissed me. For all I knew he was about to, but he didn't.

He glanced at my lips for a while but then walked pass me and twisted the door handle. "Wanna grab a coffee before lunch tomorrow?" he asked as his turn to me. He smiled at me. And it made my heart melt.

I guess he didn't know how awkward the situation he just had with me. But I guess he knew I couldn't handle it as good as he could.

"S-sure." I stuttered.

"See you tomorrow." he said and closed the door.

Stirring my coffee I've waited for him for about twenty minutes but he hasn't showed up. I wanted to leave instead and probably leave a note for him saying he is a jerk and bla bla bla.

But then he came in, so casually and grinned when he saw me.

I kept my facial expression casual and not realizing I've been stirring my coffee in a faster speed.

"You are going to break the cup." he said as he sat down in front of me.

I looked at my coffee and realized what he meant. I gave him a roll of eyes, "Where have you been? I've been here since twenty minutes ago."

"I'm sorry, I had to convince couch I'll be back before three."

"Oh, I forgot you'll still have practice. The match is tomorrow?"

"Yeah," his smiled widen, "Can't believe it myself." he said as he took off his jacket. "What do you have?" he asked and pointed his eyes at my cup of coffee.

"Cappuccino."

He called for a waitress and ordered the same thing. After the waitress excused herself he turned to me again with his arms crossed on the table. "So, what do you want to know?"

I practically choked on my coffee when he said that. I was sure the coffee was making its way to come out from my nose but as I was expecting that, it didn't happen, "What?"

He chuckled and said, "You can ask away about me. We haven't hung out for a while, so you didn't exactly have time to get to know me better, did you?"

"Sorry?" I got a wide smile on my lips. It was funny that he could say that. He wanted to make it all up, knowing he felt guilty. But isn't it too fast? Shouldn't I still be ngry at him right now?

I guess I can never be angry at him for too long. "Seriously, Lu. I thought I was like a mystery to you. Aside from teasing you all the time, you never got to know me better than that."

"Okay," I eyed him suspiciously but my smile remained, "Aside from knowing you are a genius at math too."

He chuckled, "Yeah, and that too."

I huffed, "I don't know. I guess I already know what I want to know about you. You told me about your family, that's a lot to give to someone."

He stared at me for a while, not in a sad way but in a different way. His eyes were somehow twinkling and he had a sincere smile put on his lips. I couldn't define that look.

But it was like he was pleased to have me there with him.

"Why wee you dating Tiara?" I suddenly finding myself ask that. Am I getting jealous? I mean, I guess. But the feeling was strong somehow. It was like I didn't want him to be in anybody's arms but mine.

He sighed, and his smile instantly vanished, "I don't know..."

"What do you mean you don't know?" I raised my eyebrow in confusion.

"I.." he said and swallowed a lump. He didn't expect I would ask that, I suppose.

"It's okay if you don't want to tell me. You have privacy after all." I said sincerely.

He stared at me and the waitress gave him his coffee. After taking a sip he finally said, "I don't like her - Tiara." he started it and it surprised me tthat he actually wanted to tell me.

I was feeling guilty somehow knowing I probably had pushed him in some ways I didn't mean to. "I like someone, and it's not Tiara."

My heart stopped beating for a second after I listened to that.

"I just don't like Tiara. And for this girl that I like, it's more than that. This girl, is.. Wow," he started again. All the time he was talking his eyes didn't fix on mine, anywhere but my eyes, "I've been paying attention at her for years. It's not just a simple crush. Yeah, you won't believe that."

"W-what? No! I believe you." I said trying to be cheerful but my nervousness shown visibly.

"You probably think I'm this jackass playboy, but no Lu. It's just the cover of the book, honestly.

It was a love at first sight. She is different from any other girl I know."

I gave him a small smile and dared to ask, "Is she pretty?"

For the first time after a while he finally looked at me again. He pulled a smile, "Very."

"Well then, she is very lucky to have taken your heart."

"I don't know," he gave a nervous laugh, "I don't think I'm that lucky."

"Why is that?"

It was getting even more painful to know the fact that he loves someone else. Love. Can it possible for an eighteen year old guy to love? Even for years?

I admit, I like Edmund. I mean, who doesn't?

But I like him not for being the best football player in the school or being the most wanted guy for prom night.

It's more than that.

It hurts now knowing I can't even at least try to get him in my arms, for his heart is taken by someone else long time ago. There are no possibilities to replace that girl in his heart.

"I think she likes someone else." he replied, his tone sounded desperate.

"Is that why you dated Tiara? Because you think she likes someone else?"

"Yes," he replied with a slight roll of eyes, "I guess it's useless now to get her, isn't it? Why chasing someone knowing they will never return any of your feelings?"

"You sound desperate." I teased him.

"It's not desperate Lucy, it's something else you just haven't experienced yet." he said with a tone of mockery and I chuckled.

I turned serious again, "So, you were dating Tiara to make her jealous?"

"I think. I don't know. At first because I was desperate seeing her with another guy."

"You shouldn't have done that, you know. Using Tiara for advantage? It's like what bad guys would do."

"What should I do then? I'm clueless here Lu. I care for her, more than anything or anyone in this world. I have no one to give my love to, and when I found her it was like I had given my whole heart to her without even her knowing it."

Hearing that made my stomach flutter. I kept on saying the girl was lucky to get Edmund's heart in my head. He seemed to love her so much. I knew I couldn't compete with this girl.

I never thought a hard, stubborn, and egoistic selfish Edmund could be this soft, fragile, and confused. I guess they were right, don't judge the book by it's cover.

"There are just some parts of me wanting to yell at her and tell her all of this. But I can't. I-I'm scared. Scared she won't accept me."

"You always have time to try," I encouraged him. I stared at him for a while and hesitately took for his arm. He was surprised over that action but I continued, "It's never too late to make yourself happy. You choose to be happy, and when you haven't chosen anything then you will always be hanging, not knowing which road to go."

He gave me a soft smile, and his eyes were thanking me. I knew it, even if he didn't say it.

We both stared at our hands for a while and I held back my hand and tried to be casual, "So, when will you tell this girl?"

"What? Tell?" he seemed shocked, "Oh, no no."

"What do you mean no?" I scoffed.

"I'm not ready.." he trailed off biting his lower lip.

"Don't be scared." I teased him and he let out a small laugh. I'm happpy the tense between us loosened a bit. I've missed him. I don't want to lose him again.

Even though I have.

But we still can be friends, can't we?

"I'm not scared, it's just I'm not ready, ok. There's a huge difference between those words."

"Why aren't you ready? after all these years."

He sighed and stared at his cappuccino, "I never met her. I met her once, and that's it."

"So, when you said love at first sight you mean..."

"Yep," he said and stared at me with his typical grin, "I'm such a creep, am I not?"

I held back my laugh down my throat but couldn't hide the smile, "Not really." I paused and continued seriously, "But you said about her liking someone else. So you have met her again?"

"I have. We are close. Pretty much."

"Is she... Um, your childhood buddy?"

"Childhood buddy?" he asked in mockery, "You chose 'childhood buddy' over all the words that exist in dictionary?"

"Hey, it's not a bad choice of words." I defended myself humorously.

"She wasn't my 'childhood buddy'" he made the quote and unquote sign with his fingers and continued, "I met her just like...that." he looked hesitated for a while to continue and glanced at me.

He shifted on his seat suddenly and touched the silver necklace around his neck and touched the blue ring that was hidden under his shirt all this time, until he took it out, "This what she left me."

I was shocked. So, it's from her? All this time? He didn't want to tell me that night when I asked. But now I know, what's the use?

"You must love her very much."

"Only you would know." he replied after a while.

I was only smiling until I registered fully what his words meant, "What?" I turned surprised.

He got on his feet and took his jacket. He was grinning at me. Why was he grinning?

"I better go."

"B-but couch gave you a lot of time. It's not even one o'clock yet."

"I don't want to have you around to interrogate me. That's not what I planned."

"W-what?" I pulled a look of disbelief and he only laughed.

"Will you watch my game tomorrow?" he said after putting on his jacket.

I thought of it for a while. Will I? But I don't want to watch him play, or even see his face knowing the fact those smiles and those laughs belong to someone else.

It doesn't matter how much I'll deny the next days after this. Eventually I'll always come to think of him has already taken by someone else.

It gave me a relief that it wasn't Tiara. I mean, that girl sleeps around with a bunch of guys. Edmund is not even serious with her.

Will this mysterious girl be there at the game? Watching him, somewhere on the belchers?

"I'll introduce you to her." he said again to me after a long time not getting a respond from me.

It got my attention and my head snapped up at him. Will he? Some part of me is curious how the girl looks like but some part of me don't want to know because afraid of the chance getting hurt.

"I-it's... Um... I-I don't know." I stuttered nervously.

"I'll tell her tomorrow Lu," he said to me confidently, "I'll tell her everything."

"Really?" my eyes widen. "why so suddenly?"

"You told me yourself," he said, his voice was so cheerful, "I can only choose whether to be happy or not."

I gave him a smile and nodded slightly, "You're right."

"Thanks, Lu, for everything."

"You're welcome."

"I'm sorry too."

I laughed at that. He is such a nice guy if you dig deeper about him, "Don't worry about it. Now, what you have to worry is that you have to plan how to tell her tomorrow."

He raised his eyebrow finding the suggestion very impressive, "I didn't think of that. How?"

"I don't know. You are the one who will do it, think yourself." I replied rolling my eyes, "I have to go. My mom's coming home."

"Really?"

"Yeah," I got on my feet, "She wants to watch the game tomorrow. Peter's playing too right?"

He laughed and said, "Of course! Hey, can I come over tonight?"

"Sure," I gave him a questioning look and asked, "What's with the sudden come over?"

"Your mom's cooks are always the best." he said and flicked my nose.

"Edmund!"

"Bye Lucy!" he yelled from the exit door.

Now, things fixed but one remains broken, now.

Well, is it?

in hiatus sorry. the late deadline cannot be explained but soon it will.