Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, but Carlisle Cullen owns me.

Lean on Me

Carlisle Cullen's Point of View

"Carlisle, move or something. You're freaking me out."

I turned to Rosalie, who was standing unmoving next to me, staring out the front window. "I'm sorry?"

"It's not like you to be so still," she said. "You're the one who always acts human, even at home. This vampire thing you're doing is a little creepy."

I laughed softly and reached up to scratch a nonexistent itch on my nose. "Pardon me, Rosalie. I didn't mean to unnerve you."

She peeked at me out of the corner of her eye and gave me a little smile. "You're pardoned."

We were silent for a few minutes as we continued to watch the window. It was ridiculous. There was no good reason to do it, but here we were, staring outside at the empty clearing.

"What time is she supposed to get here?" Rosalie finally asked.

"They didn't settle on a time. Alice has decided to call her around ten o'clock to let her know we're ready."

Her eyebrows pulled together in a frown. "Carlisle, we're not going to stay."

I turned to her, raising a curious eyebrow. "You and Emmett?"

She nodded.

"Do you object to her coming here?" I asked, feeling a twinge of disappointment.

"No," she said softly. "I just . . . I don't want to know her. I don't want to have to talk to her and wish I had what she has." She lowered her head, looking ashamed.

I slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her against my shoulder. "I understand, sweetheart. You shouldn't feel obligated."

"Plus, I can't stand eating human food," she said, her tone scornful. "I mean, I can make sacrifices to a certain extent, but that's just revolting."

I chuckled. "I have a feeling most of us will be secreting much of our food in our napkins."

"Still." She shook her head.

"Do you have plans for the day, then?"

"Nothing special. We might go to the beach in Port Angeles and swim for a while."

Emmett moved up behind us and wrapped his arms around Rosalie, pulling her back against his chest. "We could go to Seattle," he said. "The auto show starts next week, so there should be some pretty sexy cars driving the streets.

Rosalie turned a bright smile on him, her dimples showing. "What a great idea!"

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her lips, and I felt a pang of longing. It was occasionally a little bit difficult living alone in a household full of mated pairs, but since I had met Isabella, it seemed my loneliness had been amplified. I envied every intimate moment, even these brief ones that seemed so insignificant to my children. What I wouldn't give to stand here looking out the window with my Isabella, arms wrapped around her waist, the scent of her hair surrounding me.

Emmett and Rosalie headed out the door, and I continued to watch the sun rise over the trees. Rosalie was right, I had been uncharacteristically still. I was so focused on the upcoming meeting with Isabella that even my most ingrained habits had been suppressed. I would have to do better if I didn't want to scare the girl away. I couldn't allow her to consume every thought when she was here with me. I blinked, shifted my weight, glanced around the room a little. But I couldn't make myself sit down. What I wanted more than anything in the world would be coming to me today up the driveway in front of me, and I simply couldn't draw myself away from it.

"Looking good, Carlisle," Alice sang as she drifted down the stairs behind me.

"Thank you," I smiled.

She skipped up behind me, bracing her hands on my shoulders and leaping onto my back. I laughed and caught her legs in my hands.

"You're in a good mood."

"Yep." She wrapped her arms around my shoulders, hugging me tightly. "We never get to have people over. I'm excited."

"Rosalie and Emmett are heading to Seattle, if Jasper wants to avoid the house today," I offered.

She giggled happily. "No way, Jasper's staying. He's so curious."

"Curious?"

"About whether Bella feels the mating thing too. He thinks maybe if she spends some time with you, he'll be able to sort out which feelings she's directing toward you and which are just random teenage hormones."

I shook my head. "There's no privacy in this house."

"That didn't bother you before." She kissed my cheek and hopped down off my back. "So my sister-mom is making lunch today?"

I smiled at her characterization of Esme. "She intends to. Dinner as well. I'm sure you'll all hate me by day's end."

"Oh, we won't hate you," she trilled as she skipped away. "But you'll owe us lots and lots of favors."

I smiled after her and then clasped my hands behind my back and returned to my staring. A breeze rustled the trees outside, sending many of the golden leaves fluttering to the ground. Had I not needed to be conscious of the temperature of the house, I would have opened the window and let in the dry, musky aroma of the dying greenery. I loved the transitory seasons, when all of the scents were in flux.

"All you have to do is step out onto the porch," Edward said drily from his room.

I laughed softly. That's alright. I'm enjoying the view from behind the glass. The slightly-warped picture is melding well with my slightly-warped mind.

Edward snickered. "Slightly warped. That's a pretty good description of what love does to you."

"Edward!" Esme feigned shock from where she was reading over a cookbook in the kitchen. "I can't believe you would say such a thing."

"Carlisle's words, not mine," Edward defended himself.

I heard a rustling sound approaching the house from the back, and Alice darted out the door, meeting Jasper on his way in.

"Edward, weren't you going hunting with Jasper this morning?" I asked him.

"I did, I just got back early." He emerged from his room and descended the stairs. "I've been hunting so often I only needed a little yearling, but Jasper's been starving himself to build up his tolerance. He took a little longer."

"Are you finding it terribly difficult, Jasper?" I asked.

"It's pretty rough when I haven't gone out for a couple of weeks," he admitted from outside the house. "But it's getting easier."

Edward, is it really getting easier for him? I worry that he's simply placating me and not confiding his true feelings.

He strode up to stand beside the window, clasping his hands behind his back to mimic my stance. "You worry too much, old man."

"While that's probably true, I won't apologize for it."

Edward bumped his shoulder against mine affectionately and stared out the window with me. "So are you going to stay here all morning?" he asked.

"I expect I am, yes." I smiled. I knew exactly how ridiculous I was being, which meant Edward did too, and he seemed to be enjoying it thoroughly.

"The view is better from the top of that tree," he said, nodding toward the tallest one a bit closer to the road. "You could see her coming from further away."

I'm just fine here, thank you.

"Or you could always run out to her place. That way you could watch her all morning. Plus that truck of hers is so slow, you could watch her drive away and still be back here at the window to see her pull up."

You're very amusing.

"Seriously, why are you so fascinated by this window? I can read your mind, Carlisle, and even I don't understand it."

There's nothing to understand. I'm merely waiting for the day to start.

He laughed, giving up his teasing game. "She likes lilacs."

Lilacs? That's almost unfortunate–they bloom so fleetingly. Hardly realizing what I was doing, I started making plans to plant lilac bushes around the house. Edward and Alice both laughed.

"They'll be so pretty in a few years, Carlisle," Alice said from the back yard.

A few years. That wouldn't do, I would need them blooming as soon as possible. Perhaps I would transplant a mature bush. . . .

"Okay, this Spring, then," Alice giggled.

That was better. I only had a very brief time to give my Isabella as much happiness as possible. She was like my own lilac bloom, with me so fleetingly.

"You know it doesn't have to be that way," Edward said softly.

It does, Edward. I will not end her life.

He fell silent and stood with me, staring out the window. I expected him to tire of it and drift away before long as the others had, but I should have known better. This was Edward, the man who had stood beside me without uttering a word for a full cycle of the moon, ignoring his own physical needs and desires in order to show me support while I mourned the passing of Ephraim Black. He offered me the same solace now, while I mourned for my future.

"Carlisle, I'm rethinking the spinach ravioli," Esme fretted from the kitchen.

Edward laughed. "Darling, Bella loves Italian food."

"Yes, but it's not special enough," she said, pushing her way into the living room. "You promised her gourmet meals, and pasta is comfort food."

Edward turned toward her. "Esme, sweetheart, you could turn a hot dog into gourmet food. I have full confidence in you."

She laughed and kissed his cheek. "And how would you know, my love?"

"Don't forget, I've read the minds of many of the people you've cooked for. That's practically first-hand knowledge."

Esme was unconvinced. "No. I'm going to have to make something else. I'm going to the market."

Edward shook his head, chuckling silently.

We stood together staring out the window for another half hour before Alice moved up behind us and bumped Edward to the side with her hip so she could take his place beside me.

"It's nine fifty-eight. Can I call her now?"

I smiled and nodded. "I would like it very much if you would."

She clapped excitedly, bouncing on her toes for a moment, then ran to her bedroom and dialed her cell phone. The house fell silent as we all listened in.

"Hello?" Isabella's soft voice was music even over the telephone.

"Hey, Bella, it's Alice."

"Oh, hey." There was a quiver in her voice. Was she crying? "How's it going?"

"Good! Carlisle and I are about ready to start on a practice test. Can you come over now?"

"Yeah, totally. I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Oh, I'll come get you," Alice offered. "It's kind of hard to find our house."

"You're just out off the old highway, aren't you?" she asked. So it was true, she had been here enough before to be familiar with the town.

"Yeah, that's right, but the turn-off is hard to find. . . ."

"I'll wait for her at the road," Edward offered.

"Oh! Edward's so sweet. He said he was going to head up to the mailbox anyway, so he'll wait for you at the road and show you where to turn."

"Um, yeah, that should work. Tell him thanks." Her voice still shook lightly. Was it nerves? Did Edward make her nervous?

"I think everyone makes her nervous," he murmured softly to me. "She's shy."

"Perhaps I should be the one. . . ."

"She knows me, Carlisle," he assured me. "She'll be alright. Just don't forget to take your place in the living room, and remember to try out the relaxed stances we went over."

I nodded, feeling the nervous energy rise inside of me as Alice said goodbye to Isabella. It was an unusual sensation, and Edward laughed.

"It's about time you cared enough about something to get nervous." He moved to the coat closet and donned a prop, a waterproof Gore-Tex hiking jacket that would keep the light, drizzling rain off of his skin.

"You're going already?" Alice asked, strolling out of her room. "You'll be able to hear her truck coming before she's halfway here."

"I'll need to have enough rain on my coat to make it look like I walked to the road."

"Good point." Alice moved to the living room and started scattering test preparation books and papers around the furniture.

Jasper came in from the back yard, drops of rain sparkling in his hair, and moved upstairs to change clothes. Blood had spattered on his shirt, and he brought it downstairs and dropped it on the fire Emmett had set blazing in the hearth earlier. A fire was romantic, he had told me with a grin, particularly with the weather turning colder.

It certainly did produce a delightful scent. With the chilling air outside and the fire crackling inside, the whole room was alive with inviting aromas. Isabella's own scent was just the addition it needed to make it complete.

I waited.

Before long I heard the rumble of her tired truck coming down the old highway. As it approached our turn-off it slowed, pulling onto the gravel path, and I listened as the gears shifted into park. A door opened.

"Hey, Bella," Edward's voice said brightly.

"Hey." I could hear the nervous smile in the way she formed the word.

"You'd better memorize this turn. If I know Alice, she'll be trying to drag you around every other day."

She gave no audible response.

"How's your dad doing?" Edward asked amiably.

"He's fine."

Edward laughed playfully. "Bella, you're not nervous about coming to our house, are you?"

I heard her soft exhale. "It's just . . . you said your family doesn't really hang out with people from school."

"Not usually, no. But we wouldn't have asked if we didn't want you to come."

"Why did you? Why ask me when you don't ask anyone else?"

Edward gave a wry laugh. "Good question. I guess because you're interesting. I like talking to you, and Alice thinks the two of you are destined to be the next Thelma and Louise."

There was a pause, and then Bella said hesitantly, "Don't they drive off a cliff at the end of the movie?"

"Yeah, well, maybe you should do the driving when you and Alice go out."

Alice giggled in the living room.

I caught sight of the truck angling through the trees and I left my post, moving to the living room with Alice. She handed me a clipboard with the instructions I was supposed to read to her and settled onto the couch with a pencil and a testing booklet. I took the stance we had decided on, half sitting on the back of one corner of the couch, hunched slightly over the clipboard that held testing instructions. Jasper was slouched in an arm chair, one ankle thrown across his other knee, his foot bobbing slightly. We were ready.

"Edward, can I ask you something?" Bella said as the truck approached the house.

"You can ask, but I won't promise to answer."

"You're girlfriend is older than you, right?"

"Yes, that's right."

Her voice was hesitant. "How much older?" There was a beat of silence, and she added quickly, "I mean, if that's not too personal."

There was a smile in Edward's voice when he answered. "Old enough that I prefer not to answer that question until my next birthday."

There was another short silence.

"Is it weird?" she asked. "I mean, do people give you strange looks and things?"

"Sometimes," he admitted. "And around our friends we often have to pretend there's nothing between us.

Bella's voice was soft when she spoke again. "That kind of sucks."

"True," Edward said casually. "But she's worth it. Anyway, why do you ask?"

"No good reason. Just curious, I guess." She pulled up to the house. "Where should I park?"

Edward directed her to a spot at the side of the house, and then the two of them came inside.

Instantly her scent hit me, warm and fragrantly floral, and I drew it in greedily. It was her essence, pure and beautiful, and it embodied everything I wanted in the world. I heard Edward taking her coat and hanging it in the closet, and then he ushered her into the living room.

She took my breath away. She wore a soft, gauzy pink blouse and a pair of jeans that fitted to her figure, showing off her slim waist. Her hair curled prettily around her shoulders, and when her warm, brown eyes settled on my face, her sweet mouth pulled into a smile.

Jasper gave a little cough, and I glanced at him quickly to see if he was trying to get my attention. He didn't seem to be. His eyes were glazed over, and he was focused–or trying to be focused–on Isabella. I seemed as though he was having some difficulty.

Alice spoke first. "Hey Bella! Come on in!" She moved some papers off of the couch cushion next to her, and patted it. "Carlisle and I were just about to get started on a practice English test."

She glanced up at me as she settled somewhat stiffly next to Alice, and I smiled. "Good afternoon, Isabella. It's a pleasure to see you again."

Her cheeks colored a lovely pink, and she dropped her eyes. "Thanks, you too, Dr. Cullen," she said softly.

"Please, just Carlisle," I smiled.

Her bandaged hand came up to brush away a lock of hair as she smiled self-consciously, and I caught a familiar, unpleasant scent.

Her hand is infected.

I glanced up at Edward, and he raised his eyebrows.

"What did you do to her hand?" I asked her.

"Oh." She seemed embarrassed. "I cut it on a broken dish."

"Would you like me to take a look at it?"

She shook her head quickly. "No, it's fine. It was a couple of days ago."

It had to have been, for it to be festering as badly as it was.

It's bad. I need to tend to it, but I don't want to seem like I'm pushing her too hard.

Edward strode into the room and perched himself on the arm of the couch next to Isabella. "Alice, I think it's cute how you think you're ever going to pass these tests."

She stuck her tongue out at him, and he reached across Isabella and smacked her on the back of the head, very casually bumping the bandaged hand as he drew his own hand back.

Isabella gasped in pain, drawing her hand back sharply.

"Aw, Bella, I'm so sorry," Edward said solicitously. "Does it really hurt that bad?"

She shook her head, biting her lip, but it was enough of an opening that I could legitimately show concern.

"Maybe you'd better let me take just a quick look," I said, gesturing for Edward to move while I sent grateful thoughts his way. He vacated his position and I stood over Isabella, reaching out my hand for hers. Her lovely eyes met mine, and she tentatively held out her bandaged hand, palm up.

Behind me, Jasper stood quickly. "Edward, you want to go throw the football around?" he asked.

Edward nodded, feigning nonchalance, and the two of them disappeared out the back door. I heard them take off into the trees, putting as much distance as they could between themselves and Isabella's injury.

I carefully removed the tape and unwrapped the gauze from her hand. I frowned when I pulled back the last layer and displayed the laceration, surrounded in yellow puss and angry red swelling.

No blood. Alice started breathing again beside me.

I put my hand under Isabella's, holding it gently, and heard the distinct sound of bone rubbing against splintered bone. From the sound of it, there were several breaks.

I frowned deeply. I was going to have to get an X-ray. "Isabella, this is a pretty serious injury. I'm afraid we need to get you to the hospital."

She pulled her hand away quickly. "No, it's getting better," she said, looking away.

"Alice, why don't you go join the boys," I said. "I'm afraid it will be a little while before we can get to the tests."

She stood up, looking unsure. "Okay. Call me when you're ready." She headed out the back door.

"Isabella," I looked at her intently, "your hand is broken. Can you tell me how you hurt it?"

She licked her lips anxiously. "I dropped a plate while I was doing dishes," she said. "When I went to clean it up I slipped on some water and fell on a shard of glass."

She was either very nervous or she was lying.

"Well, I'm sorry, but we'll need to get your hand X-rayed and get that infection cleaned up. Come. I'll drive you to the hospital."

She shook her head quickly. "No . . . I'll have Charlie take me."

"Isn't he away today?"

She looked down, holding her hand gingerly. "When he gets back."

I sat down on the coffee table in front of her. "Isabella, why don't you want to go to the hospital?"

She hesitated, biting at her lip so hard I decided it was probably a good idea that I had sent Alice after the boys. I reached up an caressed her lip with my thumb, easing it out from between her teeth.

"Charlie would get mad if I went without telling him," she finally said.

"Why didn't he take you to the hospital when you first cut it?" I asked gently, my old suspicions about her father settling in again.

"I didn't tell him."

"Would it still upset him if he believes you hurt yourself while you were here?"

She looked up at me, anxiety and hope in her eyes. "Um. Maybe not."

I tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Why don't I call him and tell him you were playing football with the boys and fell," I said softly, "and that my insurance will cover the claim?"

Tears welled up in her eyes, but she fought them back and nodded.

"All right." I stood and helped her to her feet, retrieving her coat for her and donning one of my own. I led her to my Mercedes and helped her inside, but Jasper appeared around the back of the house before I could get in myself.

"Carlisle," he called.

I glanced up at his expectant expression, and gestured for Isabella to wait while I went to speak with him.

Jasper put a hand on my shoulder and closed his eyes, and suddenly a feeling of intense desire slammed into me so forcefully that my stomach clenched, and I found myself grunting slightly, merely as a way of releasing some of the tension that grabbed me. Jasper kept it up for a few seconds, then pulled it back, leaving me panting.

He smiled, looking very pleased with himself. "That's what Bella hit me with as soon as she walked into the room and saw you today," he said. "That's not human hormones, Carlisle, that's vampire caliber. In fact, that's strong for vampires. I think it's safe to say your girl is affected just as much as you are."

His information left me reeling–even more so than the feelings he had passed on to me. He smiled over my shoulder and raised his hand in a wave to Bella, then turned and headed off into the trees again.

I took a deep breath to compose myself, then returned to the car and got in. One look at Isabella, knowing that she felt about me the same way I felt about her, had my thoughts scattered again. I gave her a small smile and tried to collect myself as I directed the car toward the hospital. She was silent on the ride, and I wondered if I should try to engage her in conversation or leave her to her thoughts. It was pleasant, being able to watch her face, to let my eyes trace over her profile as she stared out the window. She glanced at me once, then looked away again when our eyes met. I wanted badly for her to look at me again.

I had never in my life been so consumed by my feelings. The urge to touch her was easily as strong as the desire for blood had been in the early months after my change. I thought it might drive me mad to be this close to her, feeling the warmth drifting off of her skin, smelling her intoxicating scent, and yet being unable to take her in my arms and press her lips to mine.

It was a good thing I had so much practice denying myself.

When we got to the hospital I helped her out of the car and ushered here directly to my office, exchanging pleasantries with a few of my colleagues on the way. I wouldn't be treating her as a normal patient. I guided her to a chair by my desk and pulled over a small work table.

"Wait right here while I gather some supplies," I told her. I left and collected what I needed from the supply closet, then returned to her.

I scrubbed and sanitized the surface of the table, then prepared a needle. "Focus on the clock," I advised her. "The anaesthetic burns going in, but by the time a minute is up, your hand will be completely numb.

She nodded, biting her lip again, and the sight sent my mind wandering down a path that involved my tongue sweeping across her soft, pink mouth. I halted the fantasy it its tracks and pressed the needle into her swollen hand, injecting the anaesthesia to take away her pain.

Once she was no longer hurting, I cleaned her cut as carefully as I could, picking out two slivers of glass that were still embedded in the soft tissue. With that finished, I guided her to an X-ray room and took some pictures. The breaks weren't bad, and wouldn't require surgery to set right.

"Isabella, close your eyes," I said softly.

She complied without question, and I swiftly jerked the bones into place. I got another X-ray to make sure I had it right, and then guided her back to my office. I quickly stitched up the cut and bandaged her hand.

"Unfortunately," I told her, "the state of that cut means I won't be able to put your hand in plaster. I'll need to be able to clean it again tomorrow, so for now we'll use this brace, but please," I looked at her intently, "do not remove this. It's the only thing holding the bones in your hand in place."

She nodded her understanding.

I fitted the removable brace over her hand, tightening it securely, and then offered her a hand to help her up.

We left the hospital, stopping at the pharmacy on the way out to get a prescription for antibiotics filled, and I drove her back home again. As I turned onto the gravel drive, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and answered.

"Should we leave? Is there blood?" Edward asked.

"No, it's fine. Has Esme finished lunch?"

"She's keeping it warm for us," Edward said, and I could hear his grimace.

I laughed softly. "Well, good. We're just pulling into the driveway now."

Edward disconnected, and after a moment I heard the sounds of the piano drifting from the house. I smiled to myself when I recognized Obsession from Jekyll and Hyde.

Very funny, Edward.