Gratitiude and appreciation for those wonderful folks that continue to read this story and take the time to send me their thoughts, comments and opinions.
1/18/12: Thanks Integra... corrected everything.
Thanks to BioWare and the DA writers... as always. :-)
Chapter Thirteen
Hawke shaded her eyes with her hand and looked out into the sea, searching the horizon carefully for the tell-tale masts of the Tevinter vessel. Her informant had assured her that the ship was still anchored off the Wounded Coast where it had remained for the past several days, waiting for its appointed time of departure. By the Maker! Where is the bloody ship? My information couldn't have been wrong, could it? Hawke paid good coin to have valid and useful information passed her way and her contacts had never let her down thus far.
"Hawke- over there," said Aveline gesturing with an outstretched arm. Hawke followed the Guard-Captain's pointed finger with an inquisitive gaze. "That's definitely a Tevinter ship, Hawke. It's making way towards that small obscured cove on the other side of those scraggy cliffs."
Hawke dropped her hand from her eyes and turned to look at Aveline. "You were right. The slavers must be using those large connected caverns on the western side. They'll use that concealed passageway that leads out to an exit near that small cove. At night, unless you know specifically where to look, you wouldn't notice the ship moored there, or see the slavers as they load their cargo."
"I was certain that is where the Tevinter slavers were operating from," stated the ginger-haired Captain. She then arched a brow at her friend and gave her an austere look. "And I am never wrong, Hawke. I always check out my sources carefully. I never take any information given to me at face value without first doing some investigating on my own."
Hawke ignored her friend's slightly rebuking tone and simply nodded her head in agreement. She knew that Aveline thought her foolish for not checking out the validity of the elven couple's claim before accepting their request for help. Aveline hated it when Hawke ran head-long onto danger without having a solid plan in place, and never failed to point out this perceived flaw of hers. Hawke would simply respond that she didn't always have the luxury of devising a plan ahead of time and she often wouldn't know what a situation would call for until she was in the midst of it. However, if some sort of plan was required she would simply devise one then and there.
This type of attitude is what had led Aveline to ask Hawke earlier if she had some sort of plan in effect for today's missive. The Guard-Captain hadn't been pleased with Hawke's response, which was that she simply had not had the necessary time to contrive one. Although having had dealt with their kind in the past, Hawke did informed Aveline that she had a pretty good idea of what they would be facing.
After noting the lower position of the sun's location in the sky, Hawke indicated to Aveline that they needed to continue on if they hoped to reach the slave trader's base of operations before nightfall. Both women knew that as soon as the sun set, the Tevinter slavers would transport their illegal and unwilling human and elven cargo to their vessel, and once aboard ship there would be almost no hope of rescuing Tariel. Aveline gave a short nod of her head and moved to join the rest of their party members. The rest of their group were waiting patiently for them, by the side of the main road that wound its way through the wild beauty of the rocky cliffs that were part of the area known as the Wounded Coast. After one last glance back at the unfurled sails of the moving Tevinter ship, Hawke followed after Aveline.
Hawke and her companions moved along at steady pace as they followed the winding dirt road that would take them higher and further into the cliffs that lined the coast. Fenris, Aveline, and Sebastian took the lead, while Varric and Anders brought up the rear, with Hawke and Merrill being regulated to the middle position of the group. Hawke noticed with mild amusement that whenever she tried to take the lead point, Fenris or another of her fellow party members would maneuver themselves so that she once again fell back to the center position. At any other time Hawke might have felt this to be a challenge to her authority and she would have responded with great ire, but considering her condition, she viewed this as nothing more than her friends way of showing their concern for her and her unborn child's welfare.
"So, how have you been feeling Hawke?" inquired Merrill in her soft lilting accent. The slender, dark-haired Dalish elf gave Hawke a shy smile as she walked alongside of her. "Or am I being too personal in asking that? I don't want to be nosey. I just wish to know if you are feeling better. Now. Then before… when you were throwing up all the time…you don't have to answer if you don't want to." Merrill ducked her head after giving Hawke another small smile and with long, slender fingers she began to pluck at a loose bit of material from her clothing in discomfort. The petite mage was always worried that she would say or do something to offend Hawke, for she looked up to the other mage and wanted nothing more than to have her respect and friendship.
Hawke noticed Merrill's discomfort and gave her a bright, friendly smile and responded in a manner that would hopefully put the elven mage at ease. "I am feeling much better now, thank the Maker. I appreciate your concern, Merrill. You needn't feel that any question you ask me will be too personal." Hawke grinned and winked at Merrill, then raising the volume of her voice she said, "You should hear some of the questions that Anders and Aveline often ask me. Those two have not a clue what the term "too personal" means. I'm sure your questions couldn't possibly be as intrusive as the ones the two of them insist on asking."
Merrill began to snicker when Aveline shot Hawke an indignant look over her shoulder and then muttered that some people couldn't tell the difference between being nosey and being concerned. Anders gave Hawke a wicked smile and then said that she hadn't minded him being too personal when he had let her in on his little secret on how a mage could use their elemental power of electricity in situations other than combat.
Merrill gave Fenris a startled look when he suddenly swore loudly in Arcanum. He started to unsheathe his long two-handed sword, but Aveline quickly grabbed Fenris by his forearm, effectively hindering him from drawing his long sword. When the perplexed Dalish mage glanced sideways at Hawke she saw that the other mage was blushing profusely despite shooting angry looks at Anders. Then with great vehemence, Hawke threatened to shove a bolt of electricity up his nether regions, which caused Merrill to wonder why Hawke had become so angry. Anders, fearing that he may have gone a bit too far with that last remark, wisely slowed down his pace and made sure that there was a safe distance between him and the incensed Hawke.
Varric was trying desperately to contain his boisterous laughter but was doing a poor job of it. The golden-haired dwarf was only able to choke back his laughter when Hawke, turning to look back at him over her shoulder, hissed his name in irritation and gave him a dirty look. Both Aveline and Sebastian gave Anders looks of extreme displeasure as they tried to calm Fenris, who was looking angrier by the moment and more than a little embarrassed. The white-haired elf's anger quickly diminished, however, when Hawke moved to his side and slid her arm about his waist. She gave the upset elf a comforting squeeze and then removed her arm. The tender look that the two of them exchanged caused Sebastian and Aveline to drop back several paces, therefore allowing Hawke and Fenris to share a few moments of privacy.
Merrill's gaze went from face to face as she tried to figure out why Anders' remark had caused everyone to react in such different ways. She finally slowed down her gait and waited until Anders and Varric drew alongside of her. She turned to Varric and whispered, "Do you know what Anders was talking about?" Merrill was aware that Anders disliked and distrusted her because of her views on using blood magic, so she wasn't about to ask him to explain his remark. Varric always seemed to be a fount of information, so she assumed the knowledgeable dwarf would most assuredly know what Anders had meant by his remark.
"Daisy, I'm not sure you really want to know. Let's just say that Fenris was more than pleased with Hawke when she showed him what she could do." Varric gave the still ignorant Dalish elf a quick wink and then chuckled in good humor at her confused expression as he walked jauntily by her side.
Merrill ambled along in silence as she tried to ascertain the meaning behind Varric's reply to her question. Suddenly a vague memory floated across her mind of something that Isabel and Anders had been discussing sometime during the course of the past year… it had to do with a place in Ferelden that both Isabela and Anders had frequented in the past, before they had come to Kirkwall. Now what was the name of the place? For some strange reason the baffled elven mage kept seeing an image of an oyster. Merrill furrowed her brow in concentration as she tried to recall exactly what they had been talking about… and why she recalled that Hawke, at the time, had seemed flustered and had urged the both of them to stop talking. And then it came to her.
Varric glanced over at Merrill when she made a weird choking noise. When Merrill turned to look at him, her eyes were as large and as round as two full moons.
"Oooohhh…" she said as understanding finally dawned on her. Merrill took a quick look ahead at Hawke and Fenris as they walked close together, deep in conversation. When she looked back over at Varric she said in a mystified voice, "I would think Fenris would be more fearful than anything…"
"I may regret asking this, but why do you say that?"
"Well… you've seen how much power Hawke can generate… when she zapped that Coterie fellow with an electrical bolt a few days ago, he certainly didn't seem too pleased… and Hawke wasn't nearly as angry at him as she often gets at Fenris."
Varric raised both brows and then shook his head at Merrill and her ingenious way of viewing things. "Daisy, I'm not sure it's quite the same thing," he said with a loud amused chuckle, "but don't ever change."
Up in front, Fenris and Hawke were involved in a rather heated conversation about Anders. Although Hawke was far from pleased with Anders at the moment, she found herself once again defending him, which only served to incite Fenris' dislike of the snarky mage even further.
"Even now you defend that mage to me, Hawke. I don't understand this… hold he seems to have on you." Fenris glanced sideways at Hawke and asked, "Why do you care so much for this…abomination." Fenris noted the sudden stiffness in Hawke's body at the word he had used to characterize the male mage.
"Anders is not an abomination, Fenris."
"That remains to be seen… but you still have not answered my question."
Hawke could sense his eyes upon her as they continued walking along the roadway, but she refused to return his gaze, and instead continued looking straight ahead at the rocky terrain.
"Have you never wondered how I was able to get through those three years… after you had left me?" she asked Fenris softly, her voice still revealing the hurt his actions had caused her. "It was because of Anders... he was there for me when you were not. Even after I told him that I still loved you… would always love you… he was there. He has always been there for me."
Fenris ran a gauntleted hand through the jagged strands of his white hair in frustration. He had never regretted anything more in his entire life, than how he had acted after he and Hawke had given themselves to each other on that night over three years ago. Yet he hadn't left her… not really… he had been there, fighting by her side whenever she had need of him. But he knew that wasn't what she had meant.
"How many times must I apologize for what happened between us?"
Hawke turned her head to look at Fenris. "I am not asking for another apology, Fenris. Once was enough," she replied looking away again.
"Then why do I feel that you still have not forgiven me, Hawke?" he asked with a slight scowl.
"Fenris!" exclaimed Hawke with a short burst of exasperated laughter. She turned her face to him again and met his probing gaze. "I would think my growing womb would be proof enough of my forgivingness."
"Yet every time we revisit that period of time, I still see the pain in your eyes and hear the hurt in your voice."
Hawke heard the regret and sorrow in the deep timbre of his voice. She had forgiven Fenris for his past transgression, but as much as she tried she was still unable to entirely get past the hurt he had caused her. There were things that had happened in her life that had left an indelible stain on her soul… the deep sorrow and pain of grief and betrayal had left their lingering marks behind.
"Fenris… some hurts… some betrayals… leave such a deep mark that it may be impossible to completely forget. I still feel the pain of my sister's death… the pain of my mother's death, even though one could argue that enough time has passed to dull the hurt. Yet for me, the pain is still as fresh as the day when I first experienced it."
Fenris, pondering her words, remained silent for several long moments before speaking again. "You speak of betrayals…" He gave Hawke a thoughtful look. "You will not forgive either of them?"
"No." Hawke turned her face away from Fenris and walked on in silence, trying to subdue the hurt and anger that was rising within her.
"Isabela I somewhat understand…" Isabela, after gaining Hawke's trust and help, had stolen the Qunari's most sacred book and then had left her supposed friend behind to deal with the Arishok and the Qunari. He knew that betrayal had fostered much hate in Hawke for the Rivaini. "But unlike Isabela, what your brother did was not a betrayal, Hawke." Fenris almost visible flinched when Hawke suddenly stopped walking and turned on him in outrage.
"How can you say that?" she hissed at him in anger. "Carver joined the bloody Templar Order! He's a templar, Fenris! He has become the very thing that stands for the subjugation of all mages. I have spent my whole life running from templars… my parents sacrificed everything so that Bethany and I could live our lives free from the rule of the templars and the Circle. And Carver knew this!"
Each time Hawke spat out the word templar, she forcefully jabbed the flabbergasted elf in his chest with her index finger, causing Fenris some concern that she may damage her finger on his hard armor in the process.
"Calm down, Hawke." Fenris grabbed her hand and moved it away from his breastplate. Hawke tried to pull her hand from his grasp but he would not allow her to.
"Let- my- hand- go," she ordered him in a low furious voice, slowly enunciating each word. "And stop telling me what to do, elf!" Hawke tried again to pull her hand away from his strong grip.
"I'm not releasing your hand until you calm yourself," stated Fenris. He ignored the glaring look of ire that she shot his way, and simply raised a single dark eyebrow at her.
By now the rest of their party had stopped walking and were standing several yards behind Hawke and Fenris, watching the scene as it unfolded. Both Merrill and Sebastian quietly suggested that someone ought to intervene before things got out of hand, but Varric and Aveline insisted that any intervention on their part would only make things worse. Anders then remarked with a delighted grin that if he knew Hawke, Fenris was about to reminded that one should never mess with a mage- especially an angry one. Sebastian frowned at Anders when he noticed how pleased the mage appeared to be with Hawke's anger at Fenris.
"We are wasting time here," said Fenris impatiently. If he had known that Hawke would have gotten so upset, he would have never said anything. "We can discuss this all later… in private." He had noticed that everyone else had also stopped walking and were now gathered a few yards behind them, waiting for the two of them to finish their discussion so that they could continue on.
"I'm warning you, Fenris… let go of my hand. Now."
"No. Not until you-"
"Too late," Hawke replied between clenched teeth, interrupting him in mid-sentence.
Fenris yelled out in surprise and then pain from the small charge of electricity that suddenly emanated outwards from the hand that Hawke had ordered him to release. Fenris quickly let go of her hand with a loud curse and stared at Hawke in astonishment for a full minute. When Hawke failed to immediately apologize for her actions, his face became cold and detached. Fenris was furious with Hawke for what she had just done, but years of being a slave had taught him how to effectively hide all traces of emotions.
"Well she did warn him," Anders remarked, loud enough for Fenris to overhear.
Fenris turned his head towards Anders and gave him a long measured look of disdain before signaling to the rest of the party that it was time to move on. He moved away from Hawke without a word and with only the barest hint of a glance in her direction.
Aveline stopped scanning the surrounding area long enough to give Anders an aggravated look before following after Fenris. Her patience was starting to run thin when it came to Anders and his inflammatory remarks, and she was tired of all the interruptions. She just wanted to reach the slave traders lair, rescue the elven girl and then go home to Donnic.
"Blondie… unless you want the elf to start glowing blue, you might want to keep those remarks to yourself," suggested Varric wryly. Unlike the Coterie, the promise of gold coin would not dissuade Fenris from doing harm to Anders, so the dwarf felt it prudent to urge the mage to watch his tongue. He repositioned Bianca on his shoulder and then after beckoning to Sebastian and Merrill with a movement of his head, the three of them walked off. Sebastian reached out and gave Hawke's shoulder a quick squeeze as they passed by her. She gave him a fleeting smile and nodded to Varric and Merrill, but did not follow after the three. She waited until Anders reached her side, and only then did she resume walking.
"I've never used my magic against Fenris before… I swore to myself that I never would," said Hawke, breaking her silence after they had been walking along the road for a while.
"If you ask me, the elf deserved it. And it's not like you lost control, Cat." He glanced over at Hawke when she didn't respond to his words. "Stop fretting so… there are more important things to worry about than the elf's hurt feelings. After we rescue Tariel you can apologize all you want, but for now just let it go."
"You know, this is partly your fault. If you hadn't said what you did, I wouldn't have had to defend you to Fenris- again."
"So I am to be lambasted for saying the truth? Maybe the elf should stop being so blasted sensitive about everything."
"You know Anders… I never swore to myself not to use my magic on you." Hawke waited for her thinly veiled threat sink in and then said matter-of-factly, "So perhaps in the future you should take greater care in what you say about me and Fenris."
Anders may have been many things, but he was not a fool. "Point taken," was his laconic response.
"Good," responded Hawke with a small, thin smile. "Now that we have reached an understanding between us, let's catch up with the others. The entrance to the slave trader's base should be right around here somewhere."
Hawke looked up into the sky and noted the sun's position with slight alarm. The sun was much lower than it had been. Time was running out for them. Hawke and Anders quickened their pace and set their mind on the task before them. The only thing that mattered now was saving Tariel.