Location: Emily's Condo
Date and time: 28 December: 06.24
Emily moan softly, as a noise pulled her from her slumber, she listened trying to make out where the noise was coming from "No, stop" the voice mumbled, as Emily opened her eyes her hand reaching for JJ "get off her" Emily frowned slightly as she sat up slightly.
Her heart tighten as her eyes fell on JJ her face was contorted in pain as she was mumbling in her sleep "NO!" JJ screamed as Emily tried to wake her gently.
"Jennifer it's me sweetie wake up"
"EMILY!" JJ shouted as Emily tried again to wake her.
"Jennifer wake up sweetie, I'm here" she said firmly as a slight knock on the bedroom door came through
"Mom? Is everything okay?"
"Jennifer wake up sweetie" as a heart wrenching sob came from the trembling form next to her, "I can't seem to wake her" Emily whispered, as Sarah slowly walked into the bedroom
"Mom?" she whispered. "You need anything?"
Emily nodded "My cell downstairs, can you ring JJ's number if I can't wake her that will" as Emily again tried rocking JJ awake, Sarah nodded walking downstairs turning the coffee machine on as she found her Mom's phone dialling JJ's number
Emily carried on rocking as she heard the cell buzz against the nightstand "Mmm" JJ mumbled somewhat.
"Jennifer wake up babe" Emily pleaded as JJ finally started to move as though she was reaching for her phone.
"Don't want to move," she grumbled as she managed to pick up her phone half grumbling into it "best be important"
Emily chuckled. "You with me now?"
JJ scowled at the caller id "Em, why you ringing me?"
"You were having a bad dream and I couldn't wake you"
JJ sat up somewhat confused "Okay, but I know your phone is downstairs" JJ frowned.
"You remember Sarah?" Emily joked slightly.
As she pulled JJ closer to her "Oh, god" she hid her face into Emily's neck "I am so sorry"
Emily kissed her head "Shh, she's use to it with me, just be glad she doesn't know you as well as she knows me"
Emily pulled the covers back over JJ as Sarah knocked on the door, last thing she wanted was for Sarah to see her scars let along JJ's.
"Hey" she said softly as she walked in with a tray carrying three coffees "I thought you both could use one" she said kindly.
"I'm so sorry I woke you" JJ said as she blushed deeply.
Sarah rolled her eyes "You're not as loud as Mom and no need to be sorry" Sarah passed them both their cups of coffee. "Mom, I'm going to go back to bed, good luck today." she said softly as she leant over to give her Mom a kiss on the cheek.
"Thank you" she smiled softly as Sarah left closing the door softly behind her.
JJ turned to look at Emily a little sheepish, "Hey its okay Jennifer," she said as she ran her finger gently over her jawline.
"I'm sorry," she muttered
"I think I have woke you more times than you have so stop saying sorry and don't worry, about Sarah she won't say anything" Emily said seeing the worry in JJ's eyes
"You sure? She doesn't know me" JJ half chuckled to herself as the embarrassment slowly wore away.
Emily smiled softly "She's my daughter, so she is more than use to it, we both suffer from them" Emily said softly.
"I guess we should start to get up" JJ said as she began to stretch.
"Drink your coffee first, do you want to tell me what you was dreaming about" she asked softly.
JJ moved closer against Emily as she spoke "I hate you had to go through everything Em" she said softly "and sometimes it gets into my dreams, I haven't had one since we got out of the hospital" JJ confessed.
Emily nodded "might be because we are due there in a few hours" Emily sighed softly.
Emily ran her fingers along JJ's stomach as JJ tried to pat her hand away "stop that" she chuckled "I'm ticklish"
"Sorry" Emily replied as she rested her hand on her stomach drawing patterns across her skin.
"You like doing that, don't you?" JJ asked
"Touching you? Yes very much" Emily chuckled.
"No, I meant drawing patterns on me" she smirked.
"That I do" Emily smiled as she went to move "Jennifer, are they taking all the stitches out today?" she asked.
JJ shook her head "Just the ones on your chest, the other ones will come out on their own" she said softly.
"Okay" she said sadly.
"Em? What is it?"
Emily swallowed slightly "Will, I mean, you'll be with me when they take them out?"
JJ smiled softly "I will be holding your hand, try not to worry" JJ said as she finished her coffee "She really does make a good coffee, who taught her that."
Emily laughed "Mother taught her"
JJ watched her for a moment as the words slipped out so softly "I love you"
Emily smiled at her looking into her eyes "I love you too Jennifer" gently placing her cup on the side she turned back round pulling JJ into a gentle kiss. "More than words can say," she whispered as she pulled away.
Emily started to get up out of bed as JJ followed suit "What you fancy wearing?" she asked Emily.
"Button shirt I guess, then at least I only have to open it right?" she asked.
"Yes, as long as I can remove it once we are home" JJ said somewhat jokingly.
"I'll get back to you on that" Emily teased as she walked into the bathroom to start her morning rituals.
"Damn it!" Emily cursed
"Em, what's happened?"
"Caught that sore with the toothbrush" Emily said as she spat the blood out of her mouth.
JJ sighed, "I warned you to be careful, he really did some damage with that thing" JJ hand drew the O-shaped contraption that Rob had put in her mouth one too many times; Emily nodded as she swilled her mouth out.
'The past few days of being out of that hospital had been great Emily had stopped closing off but now she had gone back to not speaking about it and to be honest I am not sure if that is a good thing or not.
We seemed to have gotten somewhat closer I really do think showing her all my scars was a good idea, but yet now I remember my past, but I dealt with that a long time ago.
I just hope Emily can do the same. I have known this woman for a few years and she has only just told me about her daughter, I can understand about wanting to keep her personal life private, but does that also mean; I will be a secret or will she not hide me away?
There is something between them Emily said Sarah has nightmares as well, I am starting to think there is more to her past than she is letting go or shall I say letting me in.
There again I'm not much better, she has seen my scars, but I am not ready to talk to her about them yet, she isn't strong enough to deal with that on top of what she is already dealing with.
I guess we have a lifetime to tell each other everything, she must have an idea what has happened to me but if she has, she has never said.
Even Garcia doesn't know about it, and very much like Emily, I want to keep it that way, so maybe I can understand why she never told any of us about Sarah surely Hotch knows?
There again he might not if someone else was raising her as their own, that must have been so hard to watch someone else raise your own child, the more I know about her the more I want, she kisses me and I see fireworks, maybe the sex will blow me away.
Okay really should not be thinking about that side because that can't be planned or anything.
Is it wrong to say I am glad she got hurt? Even though I know it's not and I would never want anyone to suffer as she has.
But on the other hand if she hadn't would we be like we are now, would she be fully unguarded around me, god she looks at me sometimes and I swear she can see my soul which is a little creepy.
However, I love it, I guess I am just not sure what is going to happen she needs to be able to look at herself and stop hiding. However, what happens when we go back to work, this job; is her life, and when I say life; she lives breathes and drinks it, much like Hotch does, is it because she never had anyone to go home to?
I know when we get back off a tough case I curl up with my pillow and cry into it, I wonder after seeing this side to her, if that is what she does?
I also do not think I can sleep without her I need to know she is safe, the thought of her getting hurt again does not even bare a thought to, because I know it would kill me.
I wish I had told her months ago that I had feelings for her, and then she would not have gone to that stupid bar, ugh! That's our local bar as well, what if she can't face it?'
"Jennifer, are you nearly ready to go?" Emily asked.
"Yeah just give me a second"
'Well that is my cue to leave, write soon Jen x'
Location: Hospital Parking Lot
Date and time: 28 December: 14.12
Emily had gone quite since leaving the doctors room, locking herself away again, JJ opened the car door for her as she got in not even meeting her eye line, JJ closed the door before walking around to the other side.
"Em?" Emily turns and gives her a weak smile, her hand coming over to rest on her knee, as JJ set off towards home.
The drive back was quiet but Emily's hand never left JJ's knee, she gripped it not too hard but enough, as though she was holding on or grounding herself.
"Jennifer" she said weakly "That really hurt" she admitted as they pulled up at a stop sign.
JJ turned to look at her "I have some cream, you want me to rub some in when we get back?" JJ asked carefully.
Emily never verbally answered she just nodded as she stared out the window, she pulled up outside the complex switching off the engine before getting out.
She paused slightly "Emily, we're home," she said softly, as she took in the blank expression on her face.
She walked around to the other side, opened her door, and helped her out "Talk to me Em?" JJ asked as Emily just wrapped her arm around her waist.
"I love you, you know that, don't you"
JJ looked puzzled at her for a moment "Of course I know that, and you know I love you" JJ smiled softly.
Emily sighed softly "We are going to have to tell Hotch aren't we?" Emily asked as though her mind were somewhere else.
"I don't want to split the team up Jennifer" pulling the blonde closer into her side "But I also don't want to lose you" JJ chuckled slightly
"They might not have known your gay Em but they all know how I feel about you and I am pretty sure they know" JJ paused "And if they don't, then they really aren't that good of profilers" JJ laughed causing Emily to chuckle slightly.
"Still might be best if we speak to Hotch…Unless you don't wasn't to... I mean if you're not comfortable with this...I mean us" Emily's words stumbled out in a rush.
"You want me to make a call, might be better to do it now since I'm not due back in for a few more days," JJ said as they made their way towards Emily's door.
Emily opened the door as they both walked in closing the door behind them "Jennifer" she paused as she spotted someone other than her daughter sat on the couch. Emily gripped JJ's hand as she called out. "Sarah?"
"Hey Emily" said a now standing Garcia as Emily shuddered inside.
"Hey Garcia, have you been here long?"
Garcia smiled as she rose her eyebrow "About an hour"
"You want a coffee Em?" JJ asked as she glared at her best friend
"Please, you want a drink Garcia?"
"No just had one, Sarah just went for a shower," Garcia said with a questioning look on her face. Emily nodded ignoring the look she was getting, as joined her friend on the other side of the couch.
"She is the double of you Em," Garcia said softly.
"Thanks" Emily said with a slight unease in her voice.
"Here you go" JJ said as she handed Emily her cup, before sitting behind her so Emily could lean into her.
"So what brings you here?" JJ asked softly.
"Oh, I wanted to check on my two favourite people" she replied happily, as she looked between them both.
JJ rested her hand on Emily's stomach as she started to draw patterns with her fingers "Been a long morning, just been the hospital" JJ said as Emily stayed very quiet,
"Is everything okay?"
"Yeah everything is fine," JJ said as she gave Garcia a look that said. No it's not really.
Emily closed her eyes slightly as she tried to clear her mind, before shaking her head slightly "I'll be right back, I just want a word with Sarah," Emily said as she started to move away from JJ.
Emily left JJ and Garcia alone as she walked up stairs and into her daughter's bedroom, Sarah smiled softly at her Mom, as Emily broke down in her arms "Sorry" she muttered as Sarah comforted her
"Don't be Mom"
"She has a daughter?" Garcia questioned once Emily was out of earshot.
JJ chuckled, "Yes she does and she also doesn't like people to know"
Garcia frowned "It never came up when I did a background check on her."
JJ scowled "You did a background check on her?" JJ said in disbelief.
"Well with everything with Elle, I wanted to make sure you guys were okay and safe" JJ shook her head
"You do know if she finds out, you're going to pay for that, don't you!" JJ looked at her.
"Anyway" Garcia said brightly changing the subject "Are you two, a couple? As in official" she prodded.
"Yes we are but" she paused "We need to talk to Hotch first, and also I think for Emily's sake, you don't mention anything about Sarah" JJ said very seriously "To anyone, promise me"
Garcia looked at her perplexed "Okay?"
JJ smiled "There is a reason we didn't know about her, and I am guessing it's an important reason," JJ said as she half smiled.
"She wouldn't her kept it a secret otherwise" JJ pointed out "And no I don't know" JJ said before her friend had chance to ask.
"I was hoping we could have a girly afternoon, if Emily's up to it? I've brought some movies" Garcia smiled.
Sarah appeared behind them making both women jump "Mom will be down in a few" she said softly as she headed into the kitchen "You two want something to eat, I'm making chicken pasta"
They both nodded "Do you need a hand?" JJ and Garcia asked at the same time.
"No I'm good" she smiled "But thank you"
"Garcia please tell me when you said you brought movies they aren't horrors?" JJ asked her as Garcia laughed
"Men in black" she smirked. "Thought you both might like it and I think we have had enough horror this month"
"I second that" Emily said as she walked into the room.
Emily walked over to the couch and motioned JJ to move over as she whispered softly "I want to hold you" she smiled, as JJ moved before she sat down, pulling the blonde close into her wrapping her arms around her softly.
"Mom? Where is the wine?" Sarah hollered from the kitchen.
"In the shop" Emily shook her head
"Oh, can I"
"In my purse" Emily answered knowing what was coming next "Garcia you want her to pick up some beers for you and Jen...JJ?" she blushed slightly as JJ fingers interlaced with hers.
"That sounds good, but I drove over so I can only have one"
Sarah scoffed from the kitchen "No-one ever just has one beer, and you can take my room if you need" Sarah said as she headed out the door leaving Emily glaring at her retreating form
"Anyone would think this is her place" Emily joked "But, she's right you can stay here Garcia" she smiled warmly as JJ snuggled closer into her
"Thank you, shall I put the dvd in or shall we wait for her to come back?"
"Put it on and she can watch when she gets back" Emily said softly.
Garcia placed the dvd in turning the player and TV on before sitting back on the couch as they waited for the movie to start.
Sarah arrived back with half an hour handing JJ and Garcia a beer before taking the rest into the kitchen. "Help yourselves to more beers, Mom I got you some chocolate ice-cream" Sarah winked at her and Emily smiled in return.
They ate their lunch; the conversation was light and easy as they all settled back to watching the movie.
Emily was randomly drawing patterns on JJ as they watched it, before they put the second movie on, Emily hadn't said much in the past half an hour and JJ was getting a little concern as she couldn't see her from the angle she was lay.
"Em?" she said softly as Sarah cleared her throat to get JJ's attention.
"She's been asleep for the last half hour" she said softly as JJ settled back down into her arms and nodded at Sarah
"Thanks" she whispered.