Hello all! I'm SO SORRY it's been a while since I posted. I had this chapter done the middle of last week but when out of town and ended up not having internet so I couldn't get it up for you =( Life is calming down a little bit so I'll try to update a little more regularly. I'm hoping you're just as excited as I am to see what's going to happen next!
As always, thank you to my amazing beta YoungBoho!!
"Well I'm sorry that I don't have over a thousand years of experience wielding a weapon! I'm trying here, so stop yelling at me Mr. high and mighty!"
"You are doing this all wrong, you have to hold them like this!" Eric yelled back at me as he grabbed the tsais from my hands and showed me the proper stance again. I glared him down, doing nothing to hold back the boiling anger I felt toward him at the moment. I was exhausted from my earlier training with Hekate; we had tried telekinesis today, and it was much harder than anything I had done before.
When I came back to Eric's house, he was waiting for me to resume my weapon training since we had missed out yesterday. Apparently he had woken on the wrong side of the coffin because he was being a grouch. His ill temper was affecting me greatly; my mood was easily swayed when I was tired.
"I know how to hold them. Give them back!" My voice came out strained and I cringed at how much I sounded like a whiny child, but I didn't care. If he was going to be so obstinate, then so could I!
"Not until you calm down and stop acting like a spoiled brat." That did it. I may have agreed with him, but that didn't mean he had to be cruel enough to say the words aloud. Reflexively, I summoned my magic and threw the tsais out of his hands over to the opposite wall where they went clattering to the floor. Then I threw my hand at him, and a giant blue ball of energy flew at him, pinning him to the wall.
"Now you listen, buddy, I don't appreciate being called a child. I am a strong southern woman and expect to be treated as one. I don't know what has put you in such a pissy mood, but there's no reason to be taking it out on me!"
His face winced in pain, alerting me to the fact his skin was sizzling. Immediately, I let go of my magic to releasing Eric from my hold. He fell to the floor taking unnecessary gasps of air due to the pain I was assuming he was in. I ran to his side, deeply afraid of what I had done to him.
"Eric? Are you alright?" He slowly nodded as his skin began to heal itself.
"What was that?" He looked up and scowled at me.
"I'm so sorry. I've never done that before. Hekate told me to be careful 'cause something like this could happen. Oh my gosh, I'm so, so sorry."
Now perfectly healed, he stood up and stared at me. "Exactly what can you do?"
Fear stole my heart at his possible reaction to the extent of my powers. I didn't want to tell him, but it seemed I really didn't actually have an option. Judging by what I had just done to him, I could protect myself if he wasn't happy about my answer. "I can project my thoughts, shut people out better, pop from place to place, control objects and call them to me, and apparently, I can use my energy as a weapon."
"And is there more for you to learn?"
"Hekate is going to teach me how to increase my strength with the tsais and how to use my power to create a shield around myself."
"And with all that power, you can't use your energy to hear thoughts better as well?"
'Oh shit. What am I supposed to say? Of course that doesn't make sense.'
"Um, well, maybe that's a possibility, but, uh—" He grabbed me and shoved me back against the nearest wall, baring his fangs.
"Can. You. Hear. Me?"
This was it. He was going to kill me now. Was I going to have to take out the entire Vampire populace in order to be safe and have a normal life?
I hung my head and responded as meek as a mouse. "Only when I want to." His head rolled back and he let out an animalistic roar. Not wanting to find out what his next move was, I popped to my guest bedroom. The pounding of my heart echoed loud in my ears, unsure of how Eric was going to proceed. There was a reason I had never told him about 'hearing' him; I knew it would result in death. A small part of me desired he would except me for what I was and just kindly ask me to stay out of his head. I would even teach him how to block me if it would make him feel better. Alas, I was dealing with a Viking Vampire and I doubted he would give me the opportunity to speak before trying to kill me or barging out of the room after my shields kept him from doing so. My heart pricked with sadness upon the realization of how far apart we truly were compared to when he was under his curse. I never would have been worried about my Eric killing me for this. After a few seconds alone in my thoughts, the door flew open,I put my hands out in front of me putting up an energy barrier to whatever was coming for me. Eric suddenly appeared before me. His eyes were full of rage and, and . . . hurt?
"I'm not going to kill you. Do you really think so little of me?"
His words caught me off guard. I was expecting him to kill me, but somehow that wasn't his plan. Maybe there really was more of my Eric in him than I thought.
"I'm sorry, but I know Vampires are so private and I assumed you wouldn't be able to accept that information without wanting me dead."
"How could you think I would want to kill you? After all I've gone through to keep you safe! Do you not realize that my actions toward you are not normal? I would have killed anyone who dared talk to me the way you've done on so many occasions!"
"I know you could kill me because you've been considering it for the past three days. Ignore me, care for me, or kill me. Those are your options, right?"
He stopped pacing and stared at me. "You've been listening to me?"
I cringed at the look of distrust and hurt on his face. "Only twice. At first it was just to see if I could do it. The second time was because you were blowing me off, and I had to know what you were thinking. Trust me, I don't want to know what you're thinking. That's why I find Vampires so peaceful; I couldn't hear your thoughts, and I don't want to now!"
"Could you stop glowing?" Not really sure if I should trust him or not, I went ahead and released my magic, letting the barrierfall. He stalked over to me and held my hands.
"I should kill you. You are nothing but trouble and make me look weak. However, just the thought of it makes me ache. I'm not sure what I feel, but I do have some sort of attachment to you."
"Would you happen to call that attachment love?" His brow crinkled, and he took a step back from me.
"I've told you, Vampires do not love." I sighed in frustration at this stupid man. If I ended up dying because he couldn't buck up and admit his feelings, then I was going to be mad. Rolling my eyes, I turned and sat down on the bed.
"And I've told you that I won't bond with you out of convenience."
"You would rather suffer at the hands of Andre than be bonded to me?" Stepping closer, he peered down at me. How was I supposed to make him understand if he didn't have any memories of what happened?
"No. I . . . it's just, you don't understand. You did love me when you were cursed. I know that wasn't entirely you, but you made me believe that is was a part of you. I didn't believe you at first, but some of the things you would say or do were very much like the real you. So, I figured that if parts of bad-ass Sheriff Eric could come through when you were cursed, why couldn't the softer side come through when you were normal? I simply can't settle. Not when I know what we had; I'm not willing to give that up for a simple 'I care for you.' That's not good enough."
He picked up the nearest object, which happened to be a very pretty vase, and chucked it across the room. Not wanting to see it broken, I called it to me and gingerly set it on the bed. "You're not going to have a house left if you keep throwing things around like that."
"I have other houses," he spat at me. "What I don't have more of is you, and yet you still insist on this stupid idea of fighting off Andre. Have you thought about what will happen after that? Do you really think the Queen will let you get away with killing her favorite pet?"
To be honest, I hadn't thought of that. I was trying to take on one Vampire at a time, and right now, I had two to deal with, so I was already on overload. I sighed, feeling like I was losing control again. All I wanted was a little bit of a say over what happened in my life, and it was constantly being ripped away from me.
"I don't know what I'm going to do. Maybe I'll just put a shield around the whole town of Bon Temps! But I need to feel like I have some control over my own life. Otherwise I might as well give myself over to Andre and be done with it."
"I don't understand why you won't just give yourself over to me."
"Because, a bond made out of necessity or business will only bring about hatred and bitterness and that's just not something I could stand between us. I love you." Opening my heart, I let my love for him flow into our minimal bond. Our bond may not be complete yet, and I may not be able to feel hardly anything from him, but I know he can feel me loud and clear. .
"What is that feeling you keep overwhelming me with? It's not something I've ever felt from you before."
"That would be love, feel familiar?" I asked with hope resounding in my voice.
Confusion, fear, apprehension, and shock all crossed his features before he answered me. "Like I've told you—"
"Yeah, yeah Vampires don't love. I get it. I feel like we're just running around in circles with this talk, so how about we both get ready to go to Fangtasia and act like a happy bonded couple, okay?"
A curt nod of his head was his only response. At the doorway, he turned around and gave me a stern glare. "Don't lie to me again." Well who did he think he was to tell me not to lie to him!
"Like you don't lie to me."
His eyes turned sorrowful and hurt again. "No, I don't," he said as he walked out of the room.
While I was getting ready for the evening, I pondered what Eric had said. Replaying many of our times together, I couldn't remember one time where he had lied to me; minus sucking the bullet out in Dallas, and even after that he had confessed everything to me, not trying to hide his motivations.
'He was hurt that I lied to him.' Knowing I had caused him pain upset me. On the other hand, though, I really didn't know how he was going to react. I thought I knew him, but Vampires were constantly surprising me with how crafty they could be, and his moods were extremely volatile at the moment. From our time together when he was cursed, I knew a lot more about him and his human life, which gave me a little comfort.
Done with moping for the evening, I grabbed my purse and went to meet Eric for our nightly trip to Fangtasia.
"You look beautiful," he said as he took in my outfit for the evening—a knee-length red silk dress with spaghetti straps and a silk belt that sat underneath my breasts and tied in a bow on my back. To accent it, I wore a black sparkly earring and necklace set and black wrap-around heels.
"Thank you. You look rather nice yourself." He really did look good in a pair of tight dress slacks and a blood-red button up shirt. I'd say it was funny we matched, but since I was wearing his favorite color, it wasn't too surprising. Grabbing my hand, he led us out the door. For some reason I couldn't contain the giddiness; I was like a teenager out on her first date.
Fangtasia was boring as usual, but some of the tension between Eric and I had been released, and it felt really good to have the air between us a little clearer. I was beginning to think I was pushing my feelings at him a little too hard, but maybe that's what he needed. Throwing him against the wall this morning wasn't ideal, but I think it also showed him I could take care of myself and going against Andre wasn't certain death.
Scanning the crowd with my gift, I pointed out a couple underage girls to Eric, and he had Pam throw them out. Deciding to include Vampires in my scan I amped up my gifts with my Fae power. Darkness as thick as molasses covered me, and I thought I was going to drown. For the most part, Vampires were thinking about violence, blood, and sex. I flung them from my mind and put my shields in place as quick as possible. Wondering if that was really all there was to a Vampire, I selected a random Vampire sitting in the shadows to "read." Delving into his mind, I found the same dark thoughts slithering around like snakes. Pushing deeper, I felt a small sliver of light and hope, but it was buried under so much filth, I couldn't reach it. I opened my eyes to see the strange Vampire staring at me, boring holes in my soul.
'Oh shoot, does he know what I was doing?'
Fangs tearing into my shoulder answered my question. I screamed in pain and horror at being attacked. I didn't know what to do, using my abilities would expose myself to far too many vampires, but I couldn't let him kill me. Ending my debate, Eric flew from across the room and tore the Vampire off me. He tried to tear into Eric, but he wasn't strong enough and was soon flung to the floor.
"Explain yourself before I end you." As awful as I should have felt at someone's life ending, I couldn't have been more proud of how my Vampire was defending me.
"She knows why." He glared at me, and I was extremely thankful he didn't tell my secret to everyone. Worry began to encompass me as I realized Eric was going to kill yet another Vampire for me. If I was actually his bonded I doubt it would be a problem, but when the truth came out, this wasn't going to bode well for him.
'Eric, we're not actually bonded so you have no right to kill him. When the truth comes out I don't want you getting into trouble. Think carefully.' I projected to him.
'He hurt you. He deserves to die.' He thought at me.
'Maybe so, but it was my fault. I was scanning the crowd and listened in on him. Somehow he knew.'
'All the more reason to want him dead.'
'Let's just take him to your office so we can talk about some things, and then if you do kill him, it won't be in front of hundreds of witnesses. Besides, I'm bleeding, and I don't like the look every vamp in here is giving me.'
Some of the bloodlust left his eyes, and he bobbed his head in agreement. With the power of his thousand years, he picked the Vampire off the floor and dragged him to his office. All the customers looked sorely disappointed that they weren't going to see Eric rip another Vampire to shreds.
In the office, Eric flung him onto his couch. "Why are you here, Marco? You have not checked in with me as this area's sheriff and now you've attacked my bonded in plain sight of me." A hateful glare is all he got in response, so I lowered my shields and dove into his mind. This time he attempted to keep me out, but after all my practice, his weak shields were no match for my Fae powers.
His eyes went wide with surprise and fear. "You are not human."
"Not entirely," I smirked at him. Closing my eyes, I did my best to focus on his thoughts. Human minds often wandered, but that was nothing in comparison to trying to sort through Vampire thoughts. Theirs weren't muddled or confused; on the contrary, they were very organized and precise. The problem was that they were able to think clearly about several things at once, making it hard to concentrate and pull on one thing specifically. It didn't help that the hole he had torn in my shoulder was throbbing with pain and distracting me. I saw several memories of Eric and Marco hunting together in what looked like an entirely different world. Judging by the clothes people were wearing, I guessed it was sometime in the 1920s. The next scene played out like a movie before my eyes; after some time together, Marco had told Eric he wasn't going to kill anymore. When Eric confronted him about it, he found out it was because he was in love with a human girl. Eric had laughed at him and told him Vampires don't love. (No surprise there, I was beginning to think it was his favorite line.) The next scene was a fight between Eric and Marco. Without realizing it, Eric had hunted and fed off of Marco's human and had glamoured away all memories of any Vampires, including Marco. She was terrified of him now and refused to see him, knowing there was something off about him. Marco swore to Eric that he would repay him someday for the pain he had bestowed on him. Eric had tried to kill him then, but Marco ran away before he had a chance.
"Did you like what you saw little girl?" he asked in a maniacal voice. Obviously the care and compassion he had felt for his human left when she denied him because there was nothing sweet about the way Marco was looking at me. I looked at Eric and surprisingly saw a glint of satisfaction in his, as if he already knew the answer to the question he asked.
'I knew he would come. He's been plotting his revenge for years and I knew taking a human for my own would be… how do you humans put it? Oh yes, the icing on the cake. I was hoping to use this as a cover for why I needed to lie about being bonded to you. I didn't expect this so soon though. I'm going to have to report this to the Queen immediately and that will leave you vulnerable to Andre.
"It's fine, I'm going to have to fight him eventually anyways." Eric gave me a pained looked but wasn't going to talk about it in front of Marco.
"I am going to have to killhim. He attacked me after you, so I will be justified."
Marco's face lit up in understanding that he was meant to be here and Eric had been expecting him. His body shook in rage at being used as a pawn in our very dangerous game.
"I don't want to watch. I'll meet you at home okay?"
He pierced a finger and rubbed his blood over the wound on my shoulder. "Thank you."
Giving me his heart-stopping smile, he turned and walked out the office door, dragging Marco behind him. Marco had kept his mouth shut, silently fuming at his situation. By this time tomorrow night, the Queen and Andre would know I wasn't truly under Eric's protection. I felt scared and anxious and just ready to get it over with. For the most part, I was ready, though. I could pin him against a wall and slice off his head, my mouth turned into a satisfied grin at that idea.
Back home, I went to the sword room and practiced with my tsais. A couple hours and several buckets of sweat later, Eric stood in the doorway watching me move.
"You're getting better," he noted.
"I don't plan on using them except to chop off his head. It's still nice to know how to use them, though."
He took several steps toward me wrestling with what he wanted to say. "Please don't do this. I won't be able to protect you from them if you kill him. Bond with me." Conviction filled his voice, but his pleas were starting to upset me more and more each time. I'd done all that I could to explain to him why I couldn't bond to him just because of our situation.
"I don't know how else I can explain it to you. I've told you several times that I refuse to do this unless you feel the same about me as I feel about you."
"I have to call and tell the Queen by tomorrow night. Let me know when you change your mind."
Anger rose in me at the assumption I'd give into his plans. "Let me know when you change yours." He smirked and walked out.
The next morning I woke up really early feeling extremely excited and nervous for the events I knew the night would bring. I felt ready but knew I could be more prepared so I quickly got dressed and popped myself to Hekate's. She was sitting on a stool, leaning over the counter doing paperwork of some sort. I walked up to the other stool beside her and took a seat.
"Today's the day. Eric's cover for us has been blown, so he has to call the Queen tonight and let her know. I'm going to have to fight him," I told her.
"Your fated still hasn't admitted his feelings to you?" she asked without looking up from the papers.
"No. He says he cares for me but Vampires don't love according to him. He seems to think that I'll give into him and bond without him loving me." Her tongue tsk tsk'd and she looked up at me.
"He's just about as stubborn as you are, isn't he?"
"Yes he is and it's infuriating! We were practicing with the tsais yesterday, and I got so mad, I threw them out of his hands and pinned him against the wall with my magic. His skin starting sizzling, though, and I was really scared I had hurt him." A frown covered her normally cheery face and she spoke to me like a mother scolding her child would. "I warned you about that. You have to be careful when releasing your magic without a concentrated outcome. You're lucky you didn't kill him."
"I know, I'm sorry. I just got so angry." Hekate's fist slammed down on the counter and she yelled at me. "You must never let your anger affect your magic. You have to be in control at all times."
Tears stung my eyes at her harsh reprimand. I didn't expect her to react this way, and I didn't think I could handle being punished like this when I had so much more to concentrate on.
"I'm sorry, dear. I've experienced first-hand what out-of-control magic can look like, and I don't want you to have to experience that pain."
She had never really opened up to me about her past, so I took the opportunity to learn more about this interesting woman. Gently, I squeezed her shoulder, hoping to ease the pain in her eyes.
"What happened?"
"My father accidently killed my mother in a fit of rage. He was a fire demon. She burned alive. My father was never the same after that and killed himself a year later. I was thirteen at the time and just coming into magic. I was adopted by a couple that was both half demons and had known my mother. They raised me in the practice and helped me develop my telepathy. I'll never forget that day, though. Magic of any form should never be misused or performed carelessly." Wiping the tears from her wrinkled eyes, she lifted her head to smile at me.
"Enough of being sad, lets learn to shield yourself today."My heart broke for the sad circumstances of Hekate's life. I was surprised she was even willing to practice magic after what had happened to her family. She was one tough little bird. I wanted to ask more about her life growing up but didn't want to cause any more grief.
"Sounds good to me. Do you think my training will be complete after that?"
"You will know the basics of what your abilities entail; however, my guess is that you'll be able to do a lot of other minute things as your power develops. Once you become bonded to your fated, it's likely that you will become even more powerful."
Not sure if I should ask the question, or why I was even thinking it, I spurted out, "What if I become a Vampire? Will I still have these abilities?" She didn't look surprised at my question and just gave me a knowing grin.
"That I don't know. As far as I know, there's never been someone part Fae and fated that's become a Vampire. If you choose that path, it will certainly be interesting to see the outcome." Mulling that over, I jumped off the stool and moved to the middle of the shop, giving myself some space to use my magic.
"I know you've used your energy to block people from coming at you, but you can use it to create a shield all the way around you at all times. This will be very helpful in dealing with a Vampire because you may not be able to pop out of the way in time; they move too fast for our eyes to see. In order to do this, gather your magic and imagine it enveloping you like an egg covering a baby chick."
Closing my eyes, I followed her instructions. Finding and using my magic was becoming less difficult every day, and this was no exception. I took it and funneled it out around me, letting it cover my skin. I opened my eyes and gasped; I was glowing a faint blue color.
"I look like a firework on the Fourth of July!"
We both giggled before refocusing on the task at hand. "Very good, my dear. You're getting much better at channeling your abilities. You can do a lot with that magic inside you. You just have to know how to direct it. Like I've been telling you, there are probably limitless possibilities of what you can do. Knowing how to guide your energy is the key."
I nodded in understanding, still in awe of the faint glow I carried. "Now that you have an understanding of your most important abilities, you need to practice using several of them at once. Your shield will need to be up constantly, so relax and let your magic freely flow out into it. Trust that as long as you will it to, the magic will continue feeding it without having to try. Now try popping around the room and call something to you while keeping your shields up the whole time."
Trying to do all three things at once was ridiculously hard. I kept dropping the thing I was calling, or would fall into shelves, or my shield would drop. Tears started falling as I could see Andre getting the best of me if this was all I could do.
"You're overthinking all of this child. You know you can do these things. Stop trying to force it all to happen and just will it to. Take a deep breath and try again."
Letting go of my fears and frustrations, I let the energy bubble up out of me, giving it subtle direction by desiring the outcome. Before I knew it, I had popped all over the room, called several things to me and sent them back, and kept my shield up the whole time. Giddy with the excitement of success I ran over to Hekate and gave her a huge hug jumping up and down.
"I did it! You were right, it was so much easier when I just let go of everything and let the magic do the work on its own."
"Very good, dear, I'm so proud of you." She returned my hug with equal vigor crushing me with her strong grip.
"Do you think I'm ready to face him now?"
"You are more than capable of killing a Vampire. Be cautious, though, you never know if a Vampire has had training or can detect you like the man last night. If something you do fails, or Andre overcomes it, don't worry. You have plenty more options at your disposal. Your shield will protect you regardless of what happens."
Fear and a solemn mood stole my heart. "I'm still scared. I don't want to die or anyone I love to get hurt."
Understanding and compassion filled her eyes as she held my hands. "Have faith in yourself, child. You will succeed. You must believe that."
"What about after he's dead, though? He's not the only Vampire after me, and it's not going to stop the Queen from getting to me. I'm doing this to have more control of my life, but I feel like I'm losing more and more control every day." A sigh of frustration escaped my lips.
"The next few months may be difficult for you, but I have no doubt you will succeed. You and Northman are meant for something important; fate won't let you fail so easily."
If I believed in being fated and destined for something, her words would have comforted me more than they did. Without confidence, I knew I was more vulnerable, though, so I put away my fears and gave her my biggest smile.
"I can do this!" I said to myself more than to Hekate. "Thank you for all your help these past couple of days. Your training has made me accept what and who I am and has given me the ability to try and keep my life as I want it. Thank you."
"You're welcome, my dear. Please come back any time. It's good to have a youngster around every once and a while."
"I'll come by tomorrow if I can to let you know how everything went." With one last squeeze, I said goodbye and popped back to my room. Tonight was the night. After all the heartache, training, and hard work of the past couple days, I was ready to fight Andre. Bring it on.
DUN DUN DUN!!!!! So what do you guys think is going to happen? Will she fight Andre or will Eric finally give into his feelings? Review= writing encouragment= faster updates :K