Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer Rocks.. I don't. I suck…according to my reviewers Edward does too.

A/N- WOW. a lot of people hate Edward. But remember he's an insecure 17 yr old. He thought Bella was going to leave him and Tanya was there. She attacked at his moment of weakness, and he just went along with it. I hate painting Edward out to be the bad guy. He did fuck up, so now we get to fuck with his head

:D

I do want to whore out one of my favorite stories. "Closer to God" just read the first chapter and you will see why I look up to that story. it's the hottest sex scene ive read. That and 'The Thin Red Line' Again, dominating sexy Edward. VERY HOT. ________________________________________________________________________________________________

I spent the most amazing Christmas break with my mother. Alice called me everyday, and informed me that Edward has been shut in his room the whole time listening to depressing music. I have expected him to be out screwing Tanyas brains out, but apparently on Friday he made a big deal in front of everyone in the cafeteria stating how Tanya uses people, that she is a succubus, she lures you in at your moment of weakness and then strikes. I couldn't have said it better myself but since Edward said it, it didn't matter. Childish I know but he really hurt me.

My mother tried to tell me before I left that once a cheater always a cheater. I believed that now. He slept with me while he was with Tanya and then he slept with Tanya while he was with me. As long as Tanya is in his life in any way, I couldn't trust him. I understand she was a big part of his life, I mean they were together for almost 2 years. But he said he loved me.

God I was so stupid, I became the Tanya in the situation. I almost felt bad for her. Almost. Now I know what its like to be the person cheated on. All those nights under Edward and craving his body, she was the one under him now. She was the one begging for him to leave me. He took her to our spot, the one place he said was reserved for me. That hurt the most I think. Maybe everything was a lie… I really needed to get over him.

As I stepped off the plane I saw Charlie and my two best friends. Alice was bouncing like a cat on crack and Rose just stood there like a Roman or Greek goddess. Aphrodite had nothing on her. Alice ran over and practically tackled me to the ground and I giggled and hugged her back in return. Rose gave me a big hug too but without the pouncing. My dad just patted my back and said "Welcome Back Bella". It was finally good to be home!

Alice linked her arms with mine and explained that they drove two separate cars. Charlie was going home with my luggage and I was to go to the Cullen mansion for a belated Christmas. I felt like total shit. The only thing I got Alice and Rosalie were t-shirts and sea shells. For Emmett and Jasper I got something disgusting and I was surprised I made it past security with them. I found at the souvenir shop two jars with what looked like gel or liquid of some sort, inside one was a baby shark and in the other a jelly fish. I felt sick just carrying them. I was all for animal rights but the Sad thing is they will probably love it.

Carlisle and Esme were getting Conch Shells that Renee and I found in a small shell shack by the beach. They were beautiful and I knew they would love them. As much as I wanted to leave Edward out I couldn't, so I found a small leather wrist cuff with sea shells weaved through it.

Everyone minus Edward greeted me in the foyer. They all gave me giant bear hugs, especially Emmett. That boy was like a beast! He could hug with the best of them. Everyone enjoyed the gifts, Jasper and Emmett the most. They inspected each one and laughed and tapped the glass like children who received the coolest snow globe at Christmas time.

Everyone stopped laughing and talking almost suddenly. I turned my head up to look where their eyes were held, and saw a sad sight. Edward, in a wrinkled tee shirt and sweats. His eyes had dark circles under them and his hair was nasty and unwashed. He looked like he had been sleeping for days in the same clothes. I wondered if he had been drinking or doing drugs because his eyes were very blood shot. His clothes hung off of him, which meant hes lost weight. Maybe he got into coke or heroine while I was away. That certainly would be an answer to why he looked like death.

"Edward! It was nice of you to join us. Please bring down your lunch dishes the next time you come down." Esme told him. "He doesn't come out of his room. He just plays that hideous music and mopes. Hes been out only once, said it was for Christmas shopping, and returned home." I nodded, looking anywhere else than at the broken man who just entered the room.

"Bella brought you a souvenir from Florida Edward." I turned my eyes to Carlisle, I didn't want too much harm to come to him, but at that moment I hoped Carlisle tripped on a rug. "Oh. Thank you Bella. That was very kind of you. I bought you a gift too. For Christmas .." he stared at me like I was water and he was a man dying in the desert. "Thank you Edward, But I really didn't expect anyone to get me anything. If I knew I would have gotten you better gifts. These are just from a rinky dink souvenir shop!" everyone smiled and I giggled softly. Still trying to not make direct conversation to Edward, keeping it open to everyone.

I opened Carlisle and Esme's gift first, it was a leather bound journal. "Edward and Alice told us you like to read and write. Emmetts only clue as to what you liked was 'Vodka and Scotch' and that wasn't an appropriate gift." I glared over at Emmett who only shrugged "Our dates consisted of parties Bells.. We really didn't talk about much." I sighed as everyone laughed. Typical Emmett. Alice and Jasper were the next. They gave me a new copy of Wuthering Heights. I almost got teary eyed and thanked them and gave hugs again. Emmett and Rosalie gave me separate gifts. Rosalie's was a new straightening iron and Emmett bought me the liquor his parents wouldn't. They just looked disapprovingly at him and everyone else laughed.

Edward cleared his throat and handed me the gift from him. And I handed him the gift I bought him in Florida. I ripped off the paper and saw a teal box with a white bow. Oh shit. That means jewelry from Tiffany's. Crap. Inside was a diamond heart pendant on a thin silver chain. It was beautiful and had to cost a fortune. I felt sick just thinking about how much money he spent.

"Holy Shit Edward! That has to be around a carat or more!!" The diamond necklace was snatched out my hands by Alice. She was carefully examining it appraising it with her own eyes. I just gulped and tried to hold down the bile rising in my throat. "Edward that had to cost at least a grand or more. Where did you get that type of money?" Carlisle asked him. We all knew Edward would never steal but still, where had he gotten it? "I've been saving here and there from allowances and doing the odd jobs you ask. Mowing lawns etc.. I was putting it away for when I got older I wanted to put it towards a ring for when I select a bride." Everyone was just staring at the blue box, only Emmett spoke up "Why did you spend it early then?" Edward looked right at me and said "I needed to make sure I would have my bride to give a ring to. As long as she's with me, I can start over the savings again."

I needed to get out of there, Edward just declared in front of his family that I was the one he wanted to marry. The one he cheated on. The one he lied to . I just ran from the room and into the study. I broke down cry into dry sobs. Why would he do this to me?? I didn't hear the sound of footsteps coming up behind me, so I was a little startled when Alice hugged me. "Please don't be angry Bella, it was a nice gift. Just accept it, but don't forgive him until your ready. Don't let an expensive gift pressure you. Just think of it as a friendship bracelet that costs a lot more." at that we both let out a small laugh.

I thanked everyone for their gifts, and hugged everyone. Including Edward. I figured I wouldn't let him back into my life as my lover, but at least I could be his friend. I hated to see him looking like shit, he needed to be happy..I knew I was going to try to be. I headed home from the elegant mansion, thinking about my life and the odd turn in events that happened tonight.

I showed my dad all the great gifts I got, and he frowned at Edwards gift. "He shouldn't try to buy your love Bella, Don't let him weasel his way back through gifts, make him earn his redemption." At that moment I felt like maybe my dad did get me and hugged him fiercely. "Oh hey Bells, I forgot to tell you.. Billy Blacks son will be starting school tomorrow. Hes a nice kid, really well mannered, but he has found himself in a lot of trouble back home. He was sent here to live with Billy because his mom couldn't handle the arrests. Be nice, but don't get close please." I just nodded my head and headed up stairs to go to bed. As I snuggled into the nice soft covers I heard my cell phone alert me of a text.

Thank you for the gift

I will wear it always

You'll be in my dreams, and one day I hope in my arms again

Love Always

~Edward.~

I groaned. Please don't let tomorrow be awkward!

As I was getting dressed and ready, I figured I would apply some lip gloss. There next to my gloss in my purse was the teal box with a blue bow. My necklace from Edward. It stared up at me begging me to put it on. That if Edward was wearing my gift , I should wear his. God im pathetic.

I slipped the overpriced piece of jewelry on and headed out to my truck. Stupid Edward and his stupid expensive jewelry.

(A/N- I was going to leave it there but hell.. I might as well keep going.)

I pulled up into Forks High Schools little student parking lot, and saw my friends..and Edward.. Great.. "Hey guys." Immediately they all saw my necklace …well I guess it was hard to miss. Edward broke out into a huge smile and the others just eyed it warily. Alice smiled slightly and Rose just looked like I had just asked her to help with my assisted suicide. Afraid and shocked. Shit. Emmett and Jasper really didn't seem too concerned but I knew Emmett was going to ask later. Ever since we had broken up he was a little protective on my love life.

I noticed Edwards wrist cuff and gave a crooked smile "Hey you wore my gift. Cool." He nodded and pointed to mine "Mine too. Thanks." See not odd and uncomfortable. I guess the gang realized it was okay and didn't need to separate us. What did they think we would strip in front of them and have sex right here in the parking lot? No thanks. I was not wanting Edward back any time soon.. I think. I do love him but he hurt me so he has to at least work for it, and prove it wont happen again.

At least today he didn't stink. And he shaved and showered. That's always an improvement.

As we all entered the school together I noticed bitch Tanya was talking to someone I had never seen before. He was tall with dark hair and tan skin. He looked like Steven strait with long hair. He was good looking that was for sure, but Edward looked much better. I loved Edward and no one would ever take his place.

The stranger looked up and over at us, breaking into a huge smile as he caught my eye "Bella! Long time no see!!" What..? He quickly ran over to me and gave me a big hug. "Can I help you?" he just laughed "Its me Jacob, We used to make mud pies together when we were little. I would visit Billy and you would visit Charlie during the summer. I havent seen you in forever girl!" I wrapped his arm around my shoulder I swear I heard Edward growl.