Blame

A Transformers Movie-verse Fanfiction

By Hibana

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers or any other media used here.

A.N. Sorry about the long wait! I was trying to get another story finished first, but since this one shoved its way to the front, you guys get the last story about the pranks! Enjoy~

Whose fault was it? It was the question on all of their minds and processors.

Perhaps it was all Optimus Prime's fault. After all, if he had not been so bemused by Sam and Bumblebee's antics, he might not have forgotten to order the others not to pull a counter- prank. If you were going to go that far back, however, you could say that it was Bumblebee and Sam's fault for starting the prank-war. Though they would surely reply that it was the twins' fault for pushing them into pulling a prank on them.

In any case, blame was to be shared all around. Blame was a great feast at which all the Autobots could partake in. For the prank war which had begun was unlike anything the Earth had ever seen. Retaliation had been swift following Bee and Sam's prank. Within a week they had been pranked, and were plotting in earnest. The war had begun.

The twins certainly deserved a great deal of blame. After all, they countered Bee and Sam with a wicked little prank involving slime. As a prank-team, the duo was nearly unmatched. United against a common foe, their combined efforts produced prank after prank, all embarrassing and disgusting.

Bumblebee and Sam, the other accredited prank-team, could also be blamed again for their counter-counter prank, which had involved a great deal of toilet paper. In which the twins responded with embarrassing, manipulated photos. And Bee and Sam responded with a few home-made bumper stickers attached to the rear of each of the twins' alternate modes. Embarrassing, permanent ones. To which the twins countered with a smell they sprayed on Sam and Bee that made every dog for miles think they were one of the opposite sex in heat (including Mojo, which had been really awkward). And Bee and Sam counter-countered with some rather feminine perfumes stuck into the twins where they couldn't get them out, making them smell like flowers for months. At the next battle, the Decepticon they were facing had the nerve to laugh at them. He was quickly ripped to shreds for his insolence. However, this prompted the pranks to continue…

Ironhide also was at fault. He took great pleasure in enacting his own 'prank' against Sam, though he had professed innocence and would only admit that he had been trying to help the boy. Sam had had to run for his life, and Bumblebee alternated between lecturing Ironhide and not speaking to him for a month.

Even Ratchet got in on the games after he grew tired of having to patch the Autobots up after each prank. The twins would have continued to believe they were mortally wounded and about to die in a few days time if Optimus Prime hadn't stepped in. Or, later, ordered Ratchet to turn their voice-boxes back online, which the mech had disconnected for several days to the relief of almost everyone on the base.

It was not just the Autobots who perpetrated the pranks. No, they frequently had human allies, and one of the favorite allies to pick was Major Lennox. He was a good choice on many parts. First, as the commander, he could get away with a lot that the other soldiers would not be able to. Secondly, if one chose another soldier, they would get in trouble from Lennox (so better to choose the man himself). Third, the man was wickedly clever when it came to pranks and would often come up with some particularly devious ones. Epps was a strong second choice, however.

Optimus Prime was the only one to not stoop to that level, though if he would admit it he had considered some concepts. Nor was he ever prank-ed (after all, who would prank the Prime?) However, as the prank war continued to escalate, he found himself contemplating several serious ideas. One would be to sic the entire lot of them on the Decepticons and let them deal with the mess. The other was that the war with the Decepticons would surely be over by now if the Autobots had devoted as much time, resources, and energy to it as they did to their pranks.

It was not Major Lennox, who had in good sport gone along with many of the pranks but was beginning to be exasperated, that got them to stop. It was not the great and highly annoyed Optimus Prime who could finally get the pranks to cease.

No, it was instead Mikaela Banes who finally brought an end to the prank war. One small human, not even up to Bumblebee's knee, brought them all to shame.

"It's hard to believe you all are ancient and super-advanced alien robots!" she told them, annoyed that Sam once again was covered in some sort of disgusting goo, thanks to the twins. This one, it seemed, made him glow in the dark, Bee too. "Since you are all acting like five-year olds! I dunno, but I would think a technologically advanced race of aliens would have something better to do with their time then act like children. Or at least be more mature. But I guess men," she glared at them all, including Sam, conveniently overlooking Arcee, who had prank-ed her fair share, "are the same in every race." With that she whirled away. Thoroughly humbled, the pranks stopped after that.

But not forever…

Bwaa ha ha. Just kidding. This is the last about the pranks for a while. But I do have an extra special chapter for you all next! It's so special, it's not even about Sam and Bee! Don't worry, we'll get right back to them, but we have to check in on Lennox. Some of you have been asking about those photos taken during the paint-prank. :) I'll probably pull it out of the "car wash" series and publish it as its own story, eventually, but for now I'm going to give it to you guys right here! So next time... "Pretty Rainbow". (Bwa ha ha)

There were some people I couldn't respond to who left reviews, so here goes

Ox King-- I don't even wanna know what you thought it was at first!

Ms. D Optimus Prime-- You asked about Bee getting his voice back, but I'm actually not going to have him get his voice back, though. For one, I hated his voice in the movie (it was all wrong for Bee) and he didn't get it back by the second movie, and I'm trying to be semi-faithful to it. Also, and this is the biggest reason, I like to write Bee without his voice. It's a challenge to come up with ways for him to communicate, and a chance for me to be really inventive. I'll tell you this, though: he will discover a new way to communicate soon :) Thanks for your comments though! Helpful suggestions are never rude. It's good to get your ideas out. :)

Later! ~ Hibana