Title - Full Circle
Author – darkravine
Rating- MATURE - graphic violence, language and sex
Pairing- B/S, X/A, W/T
Summary - Post HB - Spike leaves Sunnydale and gets caught up in that pesky route of redemption, Buffy attempts to come to terms with her feelings, while a new evil arrives in Sunnydale.

Chapter 13: Thaumaturgy

Thaumaturgy – n. The use of supernatural powers to influence or predict events.

"Ok … the one with the rainbow."

"That's easy. Cheer Bear. She's like the token Care Bear. Give me something harder."

"All right, all right. How about the one with the sun?"

"Come on! Sunshine Bear."

"Ha! Wrong! It's Funshine Bear. Knew I could get you with that one." Willow smiled triumphantly as she waggishly kicked a group of pebbles that had the unfortunate luck of being in direct line of Willow's foot. She watched as they skittered out across the pavement, tumbling and spreading like tiny waves in an ocean of asphalt. "I could be really evil and start with the Care Bear Cousins."

Buffy grinned at that. "No, that's okay. I think I've suffered enough humiliation at this point. Besides, I was way into Rainbow Brite by the time the cousins came to Care-a-lot."

Willow matched her grin. "I was a My Little Pony girl myself. But, I guess you're right. It's probably not a good idea to mess with a Slayer's ego. Might make you the opposite of confident. Confidentless? Or is it underconfident?"

"See, now I know you're teasing. Because Willow? Using incorrect grammar and actually asking me for the right word? So not believable." She followed Willow's lead and kicked an empty can out in front of her.

Buffy couldn't help but smile as she and Willow made their way down Main Street. This was good. For the first time in a long time, things felt normal between the two of them. Falling into easy banter, exchanging twin looks of amusement at the sweet but exceptionally stupid couple making out in the cemetery – it was all like old times. But more importantly, and perhaps the most apparent indication that things were going to be okay between them, was Willow's unflinching response to her unasked question. Back at the house, after Tara and Dawn had returned from the Magic Box, Buffy had quietly taken Willow aside and told her, "I need to know." And Willow didn't need to wonder at the statement. She simply nodded and said, "Let's go."

Willow regarded Buffy carefully. "You okay?"

Buffy snapped out of her thoughts and smiled shakily. "Fine. You know, just a little weirded out." She watched as Willow gazed at her through doleful eyes, saw her nod uneasily and heard the tiny sigh escape her lips. And suddenly Buffy knew that she couldn't do this any longer. Willow had taken the first step toward bridging their friendship and here she was, already trying to tear it down. What possessed her to keep this secret from Willow so long anyway? What was she afraid of? Anger? Disappointment? Hell, she'd been marinating in those sentiments all by herself for so long anyway. What difference would it make if Willow dished them out as well?

She nervously chewed on her lower lip. "Will?"

"Yeah?"

"You wanted to know. Before. About Spike?"

Willow hazarded a glance at Buffy and saw the set jaw, a Buffy version of ResolveFace. "Yeah?"

Buffy sighed. "Yeah." She stopped walking, crossing her arms around her chest as she shuffled her feet nervously. Looking anywhere but where she ought to, desperate to be a spectator in a life where she was the main attraction. She cleared her throat and tried a few times to bring her eyes to Willow's until she finally succeeded, meeting the witch's questioning look with only a slight waver. "Spike and I kinda had a thing."

And she was really proud of herself now, having said what had seemed the most difficult thing in the world. Harder than French tests and saving the world combined. Multiplied, even. And now it was finally over, the trepidation and uneasiness completely gone.

Until-

"What kind of thing?"

Willow watched as Buffy's expression turned from relieved to petrified in the span of three seconds. A smile broke out despite all her efforts when Buffy began to stutter out what Willow imagined would be the Stereo Instructions Guide to Sex. She lightly tugged on Buffy's sleeve, nearly succumbing to uncontrollable fits of giggles at the look of shameful misery imparted to her from one extremely embarrassed Slayer. "It's okay, Buffy," she chuckled. "I think I can figure out what kind of 'thing' you meant."

Buffy took in her friend's teasing smile and, if possible, reddened even further. "Oh." She laughed dryly. "I just thought, with you being a … you know … a-"

"Lesbian?"

"Uh … yeah. I just thought you wanted me to … uh … go into specifics or something." She pursed her lips. "I can see now how completely stupid I really am."

Willow laughed. "Not stupid. Just nervous. It's okay, you know. Except when I asked what kind of thing, I meant like, was it a love kinda thing. It's kind of obvious you two were making with the horizontalness."

Buffy furrowed her brow. "You knew?"

Willow shook her head. "Not for sure or anything. To be honest, I thought the reason Spike left was because he wasn't getting … you know. But you're not exactly good at hiding things, Buffy. And even though I didn't know specifics, I've known for a long time something of the physical naughtiness has been going on." She tucked a loose strand of red hair behind one ear and started walking again. "What I don't know," she said when Buffy had fallen into step beside her, "is if it was just a physical kinda thing or a something more kinda-"

"No," Buffy said crisply, her lips drawn into a thin line. "Definitely in no danger of that." She sighed wearily. "There was a time when I thought his feelings were real, that he really could love without a soul, but now …" she trailed off.

They walked in silence for a few more moments. "Now what?" Willow asked softly.

Buffy shrugged half-heartedly. "Now I just know better." She smiled wanly, and Willow recognized the phony brave face that Buffy always used when trying to cover for her true feelings. Oh, so it was that kind of thing …

"So, I take it there were feelings involved then?"

Buffy looked mildly alarmed. "No, no feelings," her voice hitched. Willow raised an eyebrow. "Okay, okay," Buffy acquiesced. "There were feelings. Not Angel-like feelings, or even Riley-like. They were different. Mostly, I just felt …" she trailed off and hung her head. "I dunno."

"Oh, I don't think so, young lady." Willow grabbed her friend's arm and forced her to look her in the eye. "You felt how?"

Buffy took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "In the beginning, I just felt comfortable, you know? Like when you come back from the Bronze and get to change out of the super-cool yet binding club clothes into the super-ugly yet comfy sweats? It's not that you don't like the club clothes, you just need a break from them every now and then. And the sweats, although wildly inappropriate on a daily level, have their good points. If you look past the looks, they have a lot of good points, actually."

"Wow. I don't think I've ever heard that analogy before."

"Just call me the Tiger Woods of word play."

"Well then, Tiger, tell me one thing: did you really have a problem with the looks department? Because I kind of doubt that."

Buffy felt her cheeks flush. "I didn't mean the actual looks, because … well, he's kind of a hottie. I only meant the whole evil thing." Her smile was vaguely reminiscent of the ones she had worn all throughout Junior High when the subject of boys ruled conversation. "Anyway," she went on, trying to curb her embarrassment, "I didn't want to deal with stuff and he wasn't asking me to, so it just felt … nice." She smiled wistfully, her eyes taking on that clouded quality that Willow had always associated with Angel in years prior. But Buffy quickly shook herself out of it, her smile turning from wistful to wry. "And then he had to go and screw it up by kissing me."

Willow blinked. "What?"

"Okay, so maybe, technically, I kissed him. But that doesn't mean he shouldn't have stopped it. I mean, I was really vulnerable then, and he like, didn't even care. All he cared about was getting what he wanted." Buffy sighed heavily and avoided Willow's gaze. "Okay," she said, her voice feather-soft as she nervously twisted a lock of dirty blond hair between two fingers. "To be fair, I guess my agenda was kinda the same as his. I was just more honest about it. He tried to cover it up with that whole 'love' crap."

Willow made a face.

"What?" Buffy prodded.

Willow eyed her friend thoughtfully. "Okay, so not a fan of Spike's. Remember the broken bottle in face incident. And, of course, who could forget the wanting to turn me into a vampire thing? That being said, and don't get mad at me here, I honestly think that Spike's feelings, at least at one point, were real. I mean, he helped us last summer when you were gone. He had no idea what we were planning to do."

Buffy shook her head sadly. "Don't you see, Will? It doesn't matter anymore. None of that means anything. He's made his choice, and I have to deal with it."

Willow tilted her head to one side. "If none of it matters, why are we here then?" She gestured to the towering building that they were now standing in front of.

Buffy stared at the big red 'Hospital' sign in front of her for a moment before slowly walking towards the entrance. "Because I need to know what the hell he's thinking," she replied quietly.

Willow sighed softly before following her friend inside the hospital.

"Are you absolutely certain?"

The frail-looking blond girl adjusted her head back onto the pillow, gazing at the small but menacing girl before her through bloodshot eyes. "Of course I'm sure!" she snapped. She pointed to the bandage covering her neck. "You think I wouldn't know what the person who got close enough to me to do this looks like?" She scowled at Buffy. "Who did you say you were working for anyway?"

Buffy stiffened. "Uh … F.B.I. Special branch. You wouldn't have heard of it."

The girl raised an eyebrow. "Got a badge?"

Buffy smiled plastically. "No," she said with exaggerated patience. "That's part of being undercover. Listen, we don't really have a lot of time if we want to catch this guy that did this to you. Now, did he have any specific features?"

The girl frowned. "Well, before his face changed, he had this weird scar through his eyebrow. By the way, what kind of drugs make peoples' faces change like that?"

"Uh … that's classified." Buffy ran her fingers through her hair. "I'm just trying to figure this out. You said he was talking to you before he … changed."

"Yeah. I thought he was going to help me out or something. But then he showed himself, and he was all …" she broke off sobbing. Buffy awkwardly started patting the girl's arm. "I thought I was going to die," the girl whispered when her sobs had quieted. "I made it four blocks and then he grabbed me."

Buffy furrowed her brow. "You made it four blocks? And you started out in the same place?"

"Yeah." She shrugged. "I guess I was faster. For awhile at least."

Buffy shook her head confused. "That's weird," she muttered.

"What was that?"

"Oh … uh, nothing." She cleared her throat. "So, after that he …"

"Bit me," the girl supplied, shaking her head. "Those must be some crazy drugs to make someone want to bite people."

Buffy drew her lips taut. "Yeah, you can say that. Listen, thanks for all your help. Hopefully, we can catch this guy before he does this again." She stood up slowly, sympathetic smile in place. "Um, feel better soon." She winced inwardly, hoping her words didn't sound as insincere to the girl as they did to her. She had never really been any good at comforting strangers, and she was afraid her inexperience would sound like apathy. Fortunately, the girl seemed oblivious, flashing her a weak smile and a muttered "thanks" before closing her eyes and turning her head away.

Buffy made her way down the hospital corridor, her pace quickening once she caught sight of the red-head slumped in one of the waiting room chairs. "Why didn't you stay with me?" Buffy questioned her as she approached speaking distance. "One second you were in the room with me and the next I'm trying to explain to that girl about my partner's unpredictable yet amusing bladder condition." A hint of a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

Willow stood slowly, glancing down the hallway that Buffy had just come from. "How is she?" she asked.

Buffy narrowed her eyes. "She's going to be fine. Now, what's the what, Willow? Why did you leave?"

Willow sighed and dropped her eyes to the floor. "Oh, you know. I just thought that one of us should be watching the door, what with the whole illegal visitation thing. I didn't want you to get caught or anything."

"You see? That's all you needed to say. I would have totally believed you. Except for the fact that you were neither near the door to warn me nor actually watching it."

Willow smiled shyly. "Oh, you caught that, huh?"

Buffy shook her head and smiled. "Look, it's no big. I got what I came here for." Her smile faded as her eyes became distant. "Even if it's a little more confusing than I originally thought. But, yeah, it was definitely him. Spike. That bit that girl."

Willow shuffled her feet. "I knew that the minute we walked in there," she mumbled.

"What?" Buffy wrinkled her brow. "How?"

Willow shifted uneasily, chewing on her lower lip. She glanced around nervously, only vaguely aware of the surroundings she seemed so interested in. Buffy finally placed a hand on her friend's shoulder, putting a stop to Willow's frantic eye-dancing. "Willow?"

The red head slowly brought here eyes to Buffy's, and Buffy took a step backwards when she saw the despondence her eyes harbored. "Didn't you see?" Willow asked quietly. "Didn't you notice?"

"Notice what?"

But Buffy didn't really need to ask. She had noticed, on some subconscious level. She closed her eyes as Willow's words reached her.

"That girl," Willow began. She sighed heavily, unable to find the words that were tumbling about so abundantly in her mind. "It's just, she looked like … well, she very strongly resembled … no. She looked exactly like …"

Buffy lifted her chin ever so slightly, her normally luminous eyes lackluster. "It's okay, Willow. I know. She looks like me."

Dawn tossed her long chestnut brown hair over one shoulder as she nervously eyed the front door. Nope. Still not opening. What was that again about a watched kettle? She sighed heavily, leaning back into the couch as she turned her gaze to Tara.

Tara was the picture of tranquility, sipping at her mocha chino as she slowly leafed through one of the magic books. A notebook and pen sat next to the book, and occasionally Tara would place the mocha chino very carefully onto the coaster (so unlike Buffy, who thought coasters were Frisbees for small children) and neatly write a few notes onto the clean white paper. Dawn shifted again, craning her neck so she could see the front door.

"They'll be that much longer if you keep doing that," Tara said, not raising her eyes from the book.

If it had been anyone else, Dawn's turbulent teenage mind would have immediately translated that as condescension, but Tara's soft voice and teasing smile managed to squelch her inner need for conflict. "I know," she replied. "It's just, you've got this whole location spell thing to research, and Buffy and Willow have this weird hospital trip, and I … well, I guess my job is to stare at the door. It's not really an important job or anything, but I do it really well."

"Dawnie, it's okay if you want to watch tv or something. Really."

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Oh, sure. Big apocalypse? Watch tv while everybody else gets to help avert it. That's real brave." She lowered her eyes to the floor. "Besides," she added quietly. "I can't really concentrate on anything right now, because of … you know."

Tara looked up from the book and slowly closed the cover. "Dawnie, listen to me. What happened with Spike was something that was bound to happen sooner or later. I know you cared about him, and I'm sorry that you're hurting, but sometimes when things like this happen, they're for the best."

Dawn made a face. "Yeah. Everything's for the best. God, I'm so sick of hearing that." She took deep breath and let it out slowly. "He was my friend, Tara. He took care of me. And, yeah, he hasn't really been around much since Buffy came back, but I always knew …" She stopped and smiled wanly. "I always thought he still cared."

Tara nodded slowly. "Dawnie, I know he cared. He wouldn't have been here if he didn't. It's just … well, Spike's always been such an anomaly. He was probably just as confused as we are now. But, vampires have a certain nature. And Spike used to be really good at that part. Now that he doesn't have the chip, there's nothing stopping him."

Dawn raised her chin. "There's Buffy. He loves Buffy, I know it."

Tara's eyes clouded over briefly. "Sometimes love isn't enough." She smiled shakily. "Especially unrequited."

The front door suddenly burst open with force that could only be attributed to Slayer-strength. Dawn rolled her eyes as Buffy and Willow entered hastily. "You know, the door has something called a door knob. For to open."

Buffy narrowed her eyes and briefly wondered if Dawn's attitude was the product of teenage hormones or if that mystical key aspect finally kicked in, proving to be more evil than originally thought. She smiled sugar sweetly. "Oh, the door knob? You mean the one you broke when coming back from the Magic Box?"

Dawn reddened. "Oh."

Triumphant sisterly smirk in place, Buffy plopped down on the couch next to Dawn. Willow hesitantly stood in the foyer, until Tara looked up at her and smiled. The green light. She made her way across the living room and sat at Tara's feet, leaning back against her. Buffy watched as Tara absently played with a few strands of Willow's hair, and she couldn't help but be happy for them. After everything, someone needed to be happy. Xander and Anya were just finding their way back to each other, but now … Buffy's eyes darkened as she remembered the task at hand. "Tara, are we almost ready to do the spell?"

Tara looked up at Buffy somewhat guiltily and nodded. "Yeah, I think so." She licked her lips nervously. "Any luck at the hospital?"

Buffy shook her head slowly as she looked away. Willow tentatively took one of Tara's hands in hers. "Pretty much what we thought," she explained.

"Oh." Tara nodded her head sadly. "Ok. Well, I guess we should do the spell then."

Tara situated herself in the center of the room, sitting Indian-style within a circle made of a fine powder-like substance. Willow moved to sit on the couch with Buffy and Dawn. She watched as Tara's face twisted in concentration, and she began softly chanting.

Willow felt the power enter the room, pool around Tara as she rapidly whispered the words of the spell. She saw it tunnel into Tara's body, watched it disperse throughout her as she asked it to work her will. But something was wrong. The commands Tara issued were going unanswered, and Willow felt her lover respond in frustration. After a few moments, Tara raggedly whispered, "It's a glamour. He's put a glamour spell around him."

Willow sat up nervously. "Just keep trying. Glamours are pretty weak."

She felt rather than saw Tara nod, and once again, Tara began softly chanting. But Willow knew that Tara was running on empty. The power was waning, leaking out of her body slowly but surely. She needed to do something. Tara wasn't going to be able to do it. What if …?

Willow pursed her lips decidedly and closed her eyes. Softly, she started whispering with Tara. She felt the power enter her body, coursing through her like electricity, zapping every one of her senses to life. God, she missed this.

She felt the inevitable barrier that Tara had encountered and with her mind, tried to push through it. It wouldn't budge. Hmm. Just got a find a way around it. She reached out with her mind, searching every available avenue, until it came to her. She altered the words she whispered, beads of sweat forming on her brow as she felt the magic within her begin to work.

Scattered images began to assault her senses. Warren, screaming in agony as what seemed like hundreds of hands pummeled into him at once. Spike, smoking a cigarette as he taunted Xander and Giles. Anya, alone in a chair.

Eventually the images became more graphic, and Willow found it increasingly difficult to maintain her focus. The darkness in whatever place she had entered was immense, threatening to swallow her whole. She tried to stay above it all, linger from afar as she saw different images, images hazier than the ones preceding.

Images of things to come.

And then Willow was awarded with the knowledge that she was in Elton's mind. She was seeing things he saw, thinking things he thought, and feeling things he felt. The darkness in him grabbed a hold of her firmly, pulling her down with it. She started to scream, but found she had no voice. She was falling now, heading towards the source of it all, and when she saw what was waiting for her, she nearly passed out.

There was a sudden popping noise, and Willow felt herself careening back to reality at warp speed. She opened her eyes and gulped in huge breaths of air, as if she could never get enough. She was vaguely aware of Buffy hovering over her, speaking rapidly. Too fast, she thought. Too fast for someone to be able to talk.

Eventually, she was able to breathe more normally, and her vision unclouded a little. She sat up slowly, taking in the worried looks from Buffy, Dawn, and Tara.

Tara.

Although the dominant emotion emanating from Tara was relief, Willow could see the sad disappointment in her eyes as well. She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts.

"Willow?"

She turned to Buffy and let out a breath raggedly. "I'm okay," she whispered. "I'm okay." Her voice choked up as she returned her gaze to Tara. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. I thought …"

Tara squared her shoulders. "Not now, Willow. I'm just happy you're okay." She managed to smile at her weakly, but Willow could see the wetness in her eyes as she looked away.

"What happened, Willow?" Buffy asked, her voice bordering on frustrated.

Willow rubbed her eyes. "I messed up. I couldn't see where he was, so I tried to take a shortcut." She laughed dryly. "I ended up in his mind, I think."

Buffy's eyes grew wide. "In his mind?" she repeated.

"Yeah. And I still don't know where he is." She paused and looked Buffy straight in the eye. "But you should know, Spike is with him. Helping him."

Buffy shrugged helplessly. "Don't know why that didn't occur to me before." She grimaced. "Of course he's working with him." She felt Dawn flinch beside her, and she took hold of one of her hands firmly. "It's okay, Dawn. We'll deal with this. Everything will be okay." She squeezed her hand reassuringly and sighed. "We just have to figure out what we're going to do."

Willow licked her lips. "Well, that's going to be a little easier now. Not much, but a little."

"Why?"

"Because I saw what he's planning."