Sorry this one is late as well. Honest, we were supposed to be updating every week, not every two weeks.
DC: Sorry. My fault, once again; unless I can pin it on my muse. Not fair; she's gone on strike and won't give in. No, we like our schedule the way it is…please don't complicate matters.
Kelaiah: Yeah, I don't like the sparkles either. A little overdone…oh well. Sorry about the one/beast mix-up. I guess I didn't edit quite as well as I thought I did. Good job catching it, though.
Safronia Cedarwood: Yes, some of Jacques's characters are Sue-ish, but that's the way that most original characters are. The names are 'cliché' because this is a Serious/Funny fic. Not as blown out as, say, Kel's, but not to the point of one story I read. Forgot the name of it, but the names are supposed to be long that way to emphasize the cliché in the story. We're exaggerating characteristics of the Sues for the sake of parody. Thanks for the input.
Shoman: I never really noticed all of the 'n' names. Sargon was a character submitted by another author for a quick cameo. Kalyn, Albin, and Karen came out of a random name generator, Aelin was a quick selection from an Elvish dictionary, and Rowan was the only tree name I could think of that didn't sound really dumb. Complete accident…One more chapter after this one. It's going so fast!
Warrior4: Don't do that, please. Our muses might not appreciate Steve the Security Badger running amok in the grip of the Bloodwrath in ourtheir story. Thanks, filler chapters are good in small amounts. (coughs pointedly, looking in the direction of Kelaiah's name).
Riverfox237: It's more serious than most probably because I have a little trouble writing pure silliness in a way. Still, I am glad you like it. And I don't know if all Suethors write that way. Probably not. We take things over the top to have more fun with them. It is, in a way, a satire or parody; things are exaggerated. And as for Rowan dying…we'll see soon enough! Thanks for the goodies.
In most circumstances, when two opposing armies are heading from their own headquarters to the other army's headquarters, it is practically inevitable that they meet up somewhere along the way. This would be particularly true when both groups could sense the other in some way.
Perhaps fortunately for the Sue Slayers of Salamandastron, when Sues are in the mix, nothing comes out as expected.
Sues, you see, among their various other gifts, have a disturbing ability to travel with demonic speed. One can march from Redwall to Loamhedge in two days (three, if it made a few detours and stopped to smell the diamond-dew-dropped roses). And so, if they had traveled in a straight line from Redwall to Salamandastron, they would reach their destination in less than half a day. Their entire plan, however, revolved around using the power and beauty of the full moon in their assault, giving them a full three days to reach Salamandastron. Being impatient to begin their rescue, they could not wait those days out in Redwall or march slowly. And so, to keep with the schedule, the flowery-pink-sappy-gooey-overdone horde swept far north in their traveling, converting everybeast they found to swell their ranks (not that their ranks needed swelling).
Thus, in those three days, the Slayers passed unmolested through Mossflower Wood, completely oblivious to the horrible fate swooping down on their mountain even as they marched.
Rowan poked his nose out of his leafy cover and peered over at the rosy-pink walls of Redwall. The full moon overhead gave him just enough light to see that the walltop was bare. It was quiet in Redwall.
Too quiet, Rowan thought. Sues loved feasts, songs, dancing and other competitions, especially out in the lawns. The sky was bright; they should have been outside in force.
Another slayer might have said it was luck, or destiny. Rowan said that something was up.
He slid down the tree and crept back to where Salamandastron's forces were camped. A quick pass-word to the sentry, and Rowan approached the command table at the center of camp.
"Not a sound, sir," he reported with a quick salute to Lord Oakpaw. "It's quiet and still in there. Nobeast out in the grounds that I could see, and the windows around the great hall were all dark. Barely any windows on the upper floors lit at all. Sir, permission to give my opinion?"
"Granted. What do you think of it?"
"I think they know we're out here and are trying to lure us in, which means that they have some sort of trap set up for us, or they're up to who-knows-what-else, sir."
Oakpaw nodded solemnly. "I'm inclined to agree with you, Slayer Rowan. However, we are rather caught already. We can't stay out here any longer than necessary; if the Sues don't already know we are here, they'll find us soon enough. Then we will be in a trap."
Any further speech was abruptly cut off when a puffing hedgehog ran up with a young hare in tow. The hare clutched a round shield before him, looking wide-eyed at the badger lord. The hedgehog ground to a halt level with Rowan and snapped off a hasty salute; the hare quickly imitated him, though less sharply.
"Lord Oakpaw, Sir! I think we might have something important to report, sir."
Oakpaw nodded and gazed at the young hare questioningly. The poor thing nearly fainted when the hedgehog reached back and pulled him forward by his tunic.
"Go on, Flip. Tell Lord Oakpaw exactly what you told me."
"I-I-I was j-just lookin' at the m-moon, a-a-and showin'…"
"Clear and quick, now," the hedgehog snapped. "We don't have all night!"
"Yessir! I was just, um, showing a friend that when I held up my shield just right, it…it could cover up the moon exactly. Perfect fit…Sir!"
If Redwall had lightbulbs, one would have lit up over Rowan's head right then and there. By the silence around the table, everyone else must have had exactly the same thought.
"That settles it," Oakpaw finally said. "We attack tonight. When the shield is sharpest cut. Get to your places and spread the word quietly. We're moving in."
Rowan and the other squirrels went first. Using natural pawholds in the wall stone, they crawled up and over it. Some opened the gates as quietly as possible. The rest, Rowan included, made for the bell tower. Once at the base of that wall, they split up further; some went up walls toward windows, looking for a way in to open the Abbey doors. Others simply headed for the rooftop with bows and quivers of arrows strapped to their back. Rowan and a few other Senior squirrels headed straight up the bell tower. At first they moved carefully, trying to make no sound with their claws.
Suddenly, somebeast below screamed. Chaos erupted.
All caution forgotten, Rowan fairly flew up the side of the tower. He went higher and higher, until the ground below could barely be seen as more than a silver-black mass of movement, like ants from an upset hill. Three more squirrels climbed at his side. Together, they surged into the top of the tower.
First, they saw the two mighty bells: Matthias and Methuselah.
Then they noticed the vixen.
Kimber was off-duty when the Sues arrived. Those inside Salamandastron barely had a warning, so quickly were the guards overpowered. Without really knowing what was happening, Kimber soon found herself racing down halls with other reserve slayers, sword in paw. She was going to the battle she had wanted so much to avoid.
Things moved like a dream around Kimber. She even felt only half-awake. One moment she ran alongside other beasts down a narrow hall; next, she stood alone in the midst of a great cavern, fighting all around her. Reacting on instinct, she turned and swept her sword across the back of a Ferret sue, distracting it enough that the two slayers it had been fighting could kill it.
Kimber tried hard not to look at the body as it fell, and turned instead to fend off the blows of a gleeful fox.
After the fox came a pine marten, a wildcat, two squirrels, and a mousemaid. Still, Kimber fought as though she was dreaming, acting on instinct with no actual thought of her own. All of her opponents fell eventually.
She leaned against the cavern wall, though she couldn't remember moving to that point, and rested for a few moments. Fighting Sues wasn't easy, and Kimber now had plenty of cuts and slashes to prove it. She squeezed her eyes shut for a brief moment.
When she opened them, a strange but familiar face was before hers.
Strange, but familiar, like Archie had been. For a moment, his image swam in front of Kimber's tired eyes. She blinked; it shrank to the size and shape of a shrew.
A beautiful, horrible, familiar shrew.
"Karen?"
The vixen walked forward unhurriedly. She was graceful, beautiful; a credit to foxes everywhere. But Rowan's eyes were not on her, but rather on the stones she stepped on.
They glowed a vibrant pink.
She spread her arms wide and welcoming, like a lovely bird. The pounding in Rowan's head made him want to throw up. The squirrel on his right clutched his ears, moaned, and slid down to the floor.
"Welcome, poor souls," she purred. "For you are here to be saved, are you not?"
The vixen slid ever closer. Rowan had backed up so far he was pressed against the stones behind him, along with the other two still-conscious squirrels. The other lay nearby, where he had been dragged by his comrade. Rowan glanced longingly at the bells, and the rope that would ring them. So close…
Suddenly, the vixen moved. Faster than anybeast's eye could follow, she seized the nearest squirrel and pulled him away from the others. The potion could not hold off such intense Suishness. He never stood a chance.
Without a word, the newly-turned squirrel bowed elaborately to the vixen, tugged at the brim of his wide, ostentatiously feathered hat, then leaped out the window with a swirl of a brightly covered cloak to join the battle below. Rowan and the other squirrel could only stare in hopeless shock.
The vixen smiled beautifully. She stood still before them, paws clasped in front of her like an innocent angel. Rowan saw his chance.
With an unintelligible scream, he leapt.
Kimber held out her sword carefully. The shrew smiled lightly, pulled out her needle-thin rapier, and tapped it against Kimber's broader blade. The metallic chime sounded surreally loud.
"What happened to you?"
"My brother saved me."
They began to circle slowly. Kimber's mind went suddenly to all of their missions together, all of their fights. But then, they were on the same side. Now, they were against each other. It felt wrong, like a tunic too small, or a sword with too wide a pawgrip.
"Saved you?"
"From drudgery, into beauty. We were wrong, Kimber. You are wrong. The Saved are not evil. We are good. We want what is best for Mossflower."
"But what you think is best really isn't. You are mindless. You cannot see."
"From my point of view, it is Salamandastron that cannot see."
"Then you are truly lost."
Karen darted forward without warning. Kimber barely swung her sword in time to deflect the sharp point. The rapier flickered up, down, then to the side, scoring light lines in Kimber's silvery fur. Just as abruptly as she had attacked, Karen backed off. Kimber watched her warily.
"I am faster now. Stronger. Don't make me hurt you, Kimber. Please. Join us."
Kimber quickly weighed her options. All possibilities hurtled through her mind at breakneck speed until a few key truths emerged.
She did not want to harm her friend.
The only way to escape Karen would be to harm her. Permanently.
She did not wish to become a Sue; it would be wrong, horrible.
But between the choice of killing a friend or becoming a Sue…
Karen held out a paw. Kimber stared at it, her own paw twitching at her side. She lowered her sword.
Rowan will never forgive you. Karen might.
She glanced briefly up at the ceiling of the cavern, imagining the sky outside.
"I'm sorry."
Kimber's sword flashed up, towards Karen's unprotected body. The shrew was faster, though, and sidestepped it. Something touched Kimber's outstretched forepaw, and then everything fell into darkness.
EN: Heheheheh…cliffhanger on two counts. Everything wraps up next chapter! Aren't you all excited?
Okay, I recently have been watching some Star Wars and found I just couldn't resist…there are a couple of lines, slightly altered perhaps to fit the situation, from Revenge of the Sith in this chapter. Find them, post them in a review, and you win a prize!
What Prize is that, you ask?
I don't really know either…