Bella POV

The water was freezing as I lowered my body into it. I felt the Goosebumps raise up on my skin and the hairs stand up on my neck and shoulders, as I tried desperately to keep that part of me dry. I had watched everyone go out on the wakeboard and now it was my turn. To my surprise, Jessica dominated. Jake and Quil were definitely the best, but she had given them a run for their money.

I had wanted to skip the wakeboarding and just go on the inner tubes with everyone else, but they insisted that I do this. After a lot of pleading and teasing me, I agreed to go in, but only if they went really slow. There was nothing more embarrassing than doing a face plant in front of the shirtless Quileute boys. At least Lauren wasn't here to laugh at me.

Jake offered me a smile as they hooked my feet up to the board and handed me the rope. They boys were sipping beers and casually sitting in the sun. They looked happy and laid back. I, on the other hand, was scared out of my skin. I was bobbing in the water, about twenty feet behind the speedboat. Jake had fastened a life vest around my chest, which I think he was too excited about. Apparently, he had enjoyed the bikini. I wanted to pretend that he fell in the water, when I first saw him, but with the looks that Leah, Embry and Quil were giving me, I knew there was a hidden meaning behind it.

"You ready, Bells?"

"You promise you are going to go slow?"

"Yes, we will go as slow as we can, but we will have to pick up some speed if you ever want to get up on the board." Jake called out to me. Fabulous.

I nodded ever so slightly and Mike turned to move the boat. I held on for dear life, hoping that I could be graceful at this one thing. When the boat was moving fast enough, I tried to remember what Jake had said about how to do this. I followed his instructions as he called them out to me.

"Remember your knees, Bells. You're doing good!" He encouraged me. I tried not to lose focus. I had gotten up on the board on the first try, thank goodness.

Like he had promised, the boat was going slow. They were being really nice to me; seeing as that it was my first time doing this. I was able to keep my balance and ride it out for a little bit before I could feel myself losing balance. Quil noticed a motioned something to Mike. Mike nodded and sped the boat up a little bit. I wanted to protest, but it was easier to ride the water when the boat was moving more. I let a smile slide across my face; this was fun.

I had been doing really well, when a bird came into view. It looked as though it would hit me, as its flight pattern seemed to be directly facing me. I closed my eyes, bracing for impact, and swerved to avoid hitting it. As it turns out, the bird was several feet above my head and was already turning before I tried to move. I found all this out from the water. My descent into the lake had been more graceful than was expected from me. I assumed that I would put on a show for those out on the water, by falling on my face or doing a belly flop. Instead I had just swerved, let go of the rope, and fallen backwards.

They were all watching of coarse, and instead of commenting on my failure to remain calm in the face of a bird, they congratulated me on my first wakeboarding experience.

"Wow Bella! For your first time, you were actually really good!" Jessica smiled as she pulled me from the water back onto the boat.

"That's what she said…" Quil joked. He thought I wouldn't hear, but I did, and I laughed with him.

When I was on the boat, Jake helped me catch my footing, and took the board from me. "I'm next." He grinned.

"You're going again?"

"Yep."

"He thinks he is better than me and I told him that he needed to prove it." Jessica explained. "Nothing like a little healthy competition."

"After this are we going to go inner tubing?" Seth asked enthusiastically.

"Sure. Sounds like fun, but first Jacob has to jump on the board"

"You're on!" he challenged.

I watched, as he got ready for the second round. I found myself watching him more closely as he lifted himself up onto the board and glided through the water. He looked especially good when he got sprayed with water. The board shorts he was wearing were hanging dangerously low on his hips and I bit my lip in response.

"See anything you like, Swan?" Leah teased. I knew she had been watching me stare. I felt embarrassed but at the same time, she was the one who had told me about Jake and his feelings for me. She was one of his best friends, and if she told me something that private about Jake, I knew it had to be true.

"You sure know how to pick them, Bella. Jacob is really a catch! He may get kind of cocky sometimes, but with that body, who wouldn't?" Jessica teased. "I just challenged him to another round on the wakeboard so that we could all look at him. I already know that he is way better than me." She confessed. Sure enough, Jake flipped on the board and made all of our mouths drop. Mine, mostly because he looked undeniably sexy doing it.

I joined Angela and Ben on the front of the boat while the guys were setting up the inner tubes. She was enjoying the sun, and like me, she was not the biggest fan of water sports. I sat down beside her and stretched out my legs. When the strangely shaped inner tubes were all set up, and the guys had taken their place on them, the game began.

Paul, Seth, and Tyler were all in a row and when the boat started, they would try and leap from one inner tube to another, until all three of them were on the largest one on the far left. This continued for twenty minutes. Each time, a new set of three would go out there. Five times out of ten, the tubes would flip and someone would end up doing a belly flop. I was in charge of the little orange flag, for when they fell off and into the water. Mike was directing the boat, but left Eric in charge while he tried tubing. Jared was snapping photos of the whole scene, while Jessica and Paul got to know each other on the side.

I wasn't sure how we all fit on that boat, but I was glad when we finally pulled back into the dock. I was starting to feel afraid that someone might bump into me and I would fall off of the boat. After all, it was far too crowded and someone as quiet as me would be hard to notice if lost. Thankfully, nothing like that happened and we returned safely.

Jessica told me that she was not close to being done for the day. It was only noon, when we parked the boat at the dock. She started running towards the boathouse to start up the jet skis. Angela, Ben, Eric, and Mike were the first to turn it. They went into the house, and made some lunch. I assumed the pack would be hungry when they got back; hopefully someone had gone shopping.

I could see Lauren, Kate, Britney, and Chloe all sun bathing in equally appealing two pieces. Christina, Jessica's sister came out to join us on the dock, eager and ready for the jet skis. The two girls got on the first one and jetted off. Jared took out the second one, and Mike took out the third. I wasn't feeling up for a ride just yet.

I found a dry spot on the side of the dock, far from the commotion at the end, sat down, and dangled my feet off the side. I looked down at the clear water below me and the mountain ranges behind. It was so peaceful and beautiful. When Jake made his way over to me, he sat down close to me and dangled his feet as well. We didn't talk for a moment, just taking in the scenery.

"I was so proud of you out there today! You did really well. You should have gone again. Did you have fun?"

"Actually, yeah. It was better than I thought it would be." I smiled at him. "Don't you just love the view? I could stay here forever and be content. Its nice to see the sun again." He didn't answer me and instead followed my eyes. When he stayed silent, I looked at him and continued. "I am really glad that you and the pack are here with us. It wouldn't have been the same. I would be so alone right now." I laughed a little to myself. "Lauren would probably have scared me into a corner or something. I guess I just feel more confident around you…"

I saw a strange glint in his eyes. He turned to face me and looked, really looked into my eyes.

"Bella, I'm in love with you. I have been for a while and I am pretty sure that I always will be. I know that we're friends, but I cant help it. Everyday that I get to see you, I find myself smiling. The pack loves you and you've really become part of the family. I was just thinking about how nice it is to be here with you now, and how I don't want this feeling to ever go away."

I sat there and stared at him. I could feel my lips curl up into a smile, but I couldn't make words come out. I shouldn't have been smiling, because at that moment I realized that I couldn't say anything back. It was true that my feelings for Jake had gotten stronger over the past few weeks, and everything around me was pointing to it. As much as my mind wanted me to give in to this newfound adoration, there was something holding me back. Edward.

I couldn't forget about him no matter how hard I tried. When I thought of all the good things that Jake could bring, I just remembered all the things that I wanted with Edward and would not get to have. Just remembering the pain he caused me, made my recent smile drop. When he saw this he turned his face. It was like a slap, which he was recoiling from. I wanted to reach for him and tell him that I wasn't upset about what he had said, but I couldn't.

Edward's pull on me was still too strong. No matter what I tried to do, I still loved him and wanted him back. I knew he was gone, and probably never going to return, but that didn't stop me. Jake had been really good at helping me temporarily forget all the things that had conspired between the Cullens, and me but now it was coming back.

I had been foolish to think that this past week or two would go without some sort of ramifications. I was wrong in kissing him and thinking all the immature hormonal things these past few days. I shouldn't have encouraged him. I wasn't sure what had gotten in to me, but now I was paying the price for it.

"Jake…" I started. I watched him lower his head in anticipation. It was as if he knew I was about to break his heart and he was somehow trying to prevent it. If it were up to me, I would accept Jake's heart willingly, but as fate would have it, I was not allowed to be happy. Sadly, if I couldn't be happy, then it meant that Jake would have to suffer too and that almost killed me.

"Jake, it makes me so happy to hear you say that…"

"But?"

"But, I just can't say it back. I can't feel it back. I want to be able to let go of everything that has happened and return your feelings but I cant. I love you, Jake. You have been such an amazing friend, and so supportive when I really needed you. I take so much pride in thinking that I somehow became a part of your family with the pack. I love how you can always make me smile and how deep down inside, you are still that dorky teenager I reconnected with. I love so much about you, but I'm just not in love with you…I'm sorry." It was my turn to lower my head. I felt like I just delivered a bomb to him, and somehow disassembled his heart. I could feel the weight of my words beating down on him as he took a breath and thought up his next words.

"Bella, all I ever wanted was for you to be happy. I know I can make you happy and protect you, just as good as he could…" I could feel myself cringe. He knew. "Don't try and tell me that this isn't about him, because it is. I know that you think about him and I know that's why you insist that you can't love me. What is it Bells that makes him so much better than me? I'm good for you, Bells. Way more so than he was."

"I know you did, Jake. I will never be able to repay you for what you have done for me, honestly. It was the darkest time in my life and you put the sun back into my life."

"So…?"

"But I just can't let him go. I know you hate me for it and I am truly sorry. I don't want to hurt you, but I don't think I will be able to get over him. He was my first love, Jake. You don't forget that."

"Tell me about it." He muttered.

"I'm sorry." I knew immediately after I said it, that those were the wrong words to say. I could see his face go from hurt to anger.

"He left you Bella and now you sit here telling me how you still love him. How is that possible? I was helping you, and you were doing so well. The color was coming back to your face and you were smiling. Can you honestly tell me that you would give all of this up? If Edward and the Cullens came back, would you leave me and go back to him?" He was standing now and shaking a little. He still sounded hopeful in his voice, like I could say 'no' and forget this whole thing happened. A part of me wanted to do just that, then run into his arms, but again I was conflicted.

I thought carefully about what I would say. We both knew my answer, but he needed to hear me say it. Slowly I raised my eyes to meet his and whispered

"Maybe."

He was fuming now, and his body was shaking uncontrollably. I knew that this shaking meant he wouldn't phase, but that he was angrier than he should be. He realized this and the vibrations slowed.

"It was fine when you didn't love me back and wanted to stay friends. But now you tell me that you're still waiting for the heart-breaking bloodsucker to come back and sweep you off your feet! How could you do this to me Bells?" Before I could answer, he had turned his back to me and begun to walk away. I scrambled to my feet. "I can't keep waiting for you. I'm not going to be the pathetic friend, waiting for the girl of his dreams to love him back. I refuse to be in love with a girl who cant get over an ex who left her to die." He spat. I could feel the tears running down my cheeks.

"Jake!" I called after him. He spun around so fast it was almost as if I was just blinking.

"What would you possibly have to say to me now?" He hissed.

My voice was barely inaudible. "Does this mean you don't love me anymore?"

He looked down at me and his eyes softened slightly. I could see that most of the anger had boiled off and he was just left with a lot of sadness.

"I'll love you forever Bells, but right now I just cant be around you…it's too hard for me." When he turned around for the second time, he didn't turn around. He kept walking until he got to the house, passing the girls in their bikinis, who had witnessed the whole thing. He disappeared into the house. Soon after him, Quil and Embry made their way down the dock, pausing briefly to look down at me. I was pathetically crumpled, with my knees to my chest, crying. Embry rubbed my back once, and went to follow Jake with Quil in tow.

I watched where they had disappeared to, half expecting him to come back out, but he never did. I sat on the dock for a while until Seth came waddling up. He had a huge smile on his face and I assumed he hadn't overheard.

"Hey Bella, what's going…oh my gosh are you crying?"

I nodded and he lowered himself to be at my level.

"What happened?"

"Jake and I had a fight and he left." I coughed.

"I'm so sorry. I know you will work it out, though. It seems like no matter what, he always needs to be around you." He smiled. I frowned in response remembering Jake's words.

"Something tells me that he doesn't want to ever be around me again."

"You don't mean that. Here, I'll go get Leah. She can help better than I can." He trotted off to go find his sister.

When she came back, Jessica was with her. They had done some bonding while I was stuck here. Leah helped me off the ground and led me to the house. Jessica was complaining about how inconsistent guys were, but I wasn't listening. All I could do was replay everything that had just gone on.

What had I just done?

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A/N: I know you probably hate me right now, but I needed to throw in some drama. The next chapter is gonna be kinda the same, but I promise there are some shocking points coming up. Let me know what you think and I will update as soon as I can type. Love you all!