This chapter was one of the first things I wrote for this story. Mostly because after watch mass-off I wanted someone to castrate Finn. Very upset at how the show handled the fall out from that. But, anyways, here we go...
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"Ok guys, it's that week again, mash-up time!" Everyone in the room started clapping and cheering. It's one of my favourite weeks of the year. I like the competition without it being too serious.
"Once again, it will be boys verses girls," Kurts head shot up.
"And before you say anything Kurt, yes, you can sing with the girls this year." Kurt started clapping excitedly. Rachel put her hand up and waved.
"Mr. Schue, not that I'm extremely excited to be singing with Kurt, can I ask why?"
"Well, I decided that in normal boy vs girl week, all the couples are spilt up. So, Kurt will sing with the girls instead of with Blaine, and Eliza will sing with the guys."
"Isn't that a bit unfair? Just assuming that Eliza will sing with the guys?" Tina asked. I was a bit concerned too. Now that I knew what concerned was.
"It's cool, Schue and I already talked about it." Eliza walked though the door. I jumped out of my seat to give her a hug. She was back!
"Also, I think with the way Santana and I haven't been playing very nice it'll be a good break." She looked over at San who seemed to be death glaring her back. I felt her grip tighten in my hip.
"Then it's settled. By the end of this week you need to have your mass-ups ready to preform in the auditorium. We're going all out for this one. It'll be the last mash-up week for a lot of you, so lets make it awesome!" Everyone got out of there seats and started to group up, girls on one side, guys on the other.
"You sure you want to sing with the guys? You always complain that they smell."
"They only smell when they work out, not when they sing Britt. And like I said, I think I need to put some space between San and I, she still has it out for me."
"She's not really a bad person. Everyone thinks she is, but she's not."
"I know you don't think she is babe." She gave me a kiss on my forehead.
"Come on Britt, stop kissing the enemy, we need to work out what song we're singing for this mash-up." I turned around and San was waving at me to join our group. I gave Eliza one last quick kiss before heading over to the girls. I looked back over my shoulder, and El was giving Puck a high-five as they discussed what they were gonna do.
Rachel and Mercedes started to argue over who would take the lead, and after a couple of rounds of Rock Paper Scissors, it was decided Mercedes and Santana would take the leads, much to Rachel's disappointment. The whole time we talked about what we were going to sing, Sans eyes never left me.
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It was two days before the mash-off. After deciding on our songs, instead of spending the rest of my time practising, I'd been trash-talking the competition. Mainly Finn and Eliza. Dingo face for obvious reasons, Finn because he was, well, basically a walking sack of sweaty potatoes. Not that I needed to. The girls and Kurt were gonna smash the boys out of this school. We'd decided on Adele, a perfect choice by Mercedes.
I was standing with Finn in the hallway. Mercedes and Brittany had both told me to be nicer to him. So, I was gonna say sorry. That, was until I saw him.
"I'm here to apologize. Rachel's right, I haven't been fair to you. You're not fat. I should know, I slept with you. I mean, at some point I must have liked that you look like a taco addict who's had one too many back alley liposuctions." I knew I wasn't apologising, I knew it was all just more hurtful insults. But I just couldn't help myself.
Sometimes I just had all this rage bubble inside me, mostly due to things related to Brittany. Everything to do with Eliza made me angry. Brittany not believing me when I said I wanted her made me angry. My own inability to say these things to anyone made me extremely angry. So I lashed out.
"I am sorry, Finn. I mean, really, I'm sorry that the guys are gonna get crushed by the girls. And also sorry that you have no talent. Sorry that you sing like you're getting your prostate checked, and you dance like you've been asleep for years and someone just woke you up. Have fun riding on Rachel's coattails for the rest of your life, although, you know what, I would just watch out for her come holiday time if I were you, because if I were her, I'd stick a stent in one of those boobs and let the Finn blubber light the Hanukkah lamp for eight magical nights."
I walked past him, not exactly feeling proud of myself, but feeling a lot less like I was going to punch the next person who walked past me.
"Hey, Santana. Why don't you just come out of the closet?" I froze. He didn't just say that, right?
"You know, I think I know why you're so good at tearing everybody else down. It's because you're constantly tearing yourself down because you can't admit to everybody that you're in love with Brittany and she might not love you back."
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This wasn't happening. He wasn't saying this here, in front of everyone. Not yet. I wasn't ready yet.
"That must hurt, to not be able to admit to everyone how you really feel. You know what I think you are? A coward."
"HUDSON!" I heard her voice echo down the hallway. I still couldn't move, but I could tell she was close to where Finn would have been standing. I finally got my composure back, and looked over my shoulder slightly. Eliza had Finn by the arm, dragging him into a classroom.
I followed once they were inside, and stood by the door. What the hell was going on? Why did she seem so angry at him?
"What the hell Eliza?" Finn yelled at dingo face. She turned to face him.
"What the hell? What the fuck do you think you were doing out there?!"
"Giving San a taste of what she dishes out!"
"You were fucking outing her!" Wait, was she sticking up for me?
"No I wasn't! I was just..." Eliza starred him down, like she was daring him to finish that thought.
"I was just..."
"Outing her. It's exactly what you were doing!" Finn sat down, refusing to look at her.
"You know, kids commit suicide over this kind of thing all the time, the stats are crazy. You just can't understand how hard it is." His head shot up.
"Yes, I can."
"Oh, pretty, straight, white boy growing up in the good ol' US of A thinks he knows what it's like to be discriminated against?" She got right up in his face.
"Have you ever been not let in somewhere because of what you looked like? Been watched when you go into a hi-fi store because of the colour of your skin? Been paid less for doing the same job because of your gender? Have you ever been told that you can't fucking marry the girl of your dreams because your love is inferior? Huh Finn, you think you understand?" She walked away, to the teachers desk. She put her hand on it and leaned against it, head down,
"Imagine your deepest, darkest secret Finn. Imagine... Imagine when Quinn was pregnant, and you thought it was yours. And then Rachel pops into the picture, and you kiss her, and you want her, but you've got Quinn all knocked up."
"How do you know all..."
"People talk at this school, oh god do they love to talk. I pretty much knew your life story by the second week here." Finn quietened down again.
"Think of that moment, when you realise that you want to leave her, baby and all, for someone else. And then someone wanders out into the hallway and yells, in front of everyone 'hey, Quinn, you're baby daddy's sleeping around'. How embarrassed and hurt would you feel? Pretty full on, don't ya think?" Finn just nodded.
"What you did was at least a million times worse than that. This isn't something that she can change, like a bad hair cut. This... This is the rest of her life. Everyone has the right to feel safe. To have their own privacy. Their own thoughts and feelings. You just took that from her."
"I was just... just trying to make her feel how she made us all feel. She deserved it." She was right back in his face.
"No one ever deserves that. This is pretty much an open invitation to the world saying 'Hey, I'm different, use it against me.' And if you're not strong enough, you become one of those statistics."
"What about you? You're out and proud and don't care."
"It's not about caring, it's about being comfortable. I'm comfortable being me. I had a great support of friends and family back home. And when I was ready, I told them. When I was ready. Not when someone else was. Me. Do you think Santana has that kind of support?"
"Of course she does, she has all of glee club, and Britt, and..."
"With the shit you just pulled out there, do you think she feels like she has that support? Your support?" Finn put his head in his hands
"You know, I heard a lot of stuff about you Hudson. About when Kurt came out. And I struggled to believe some of it. You seemed so fine with him and Blaine, and Britt and I. But, this... this... I don't even have words to describe how little I think of you right now." She walked back towards the door. I quickly jumped away from the window and stood next to the door. As she walked out, I walked next to her.
"Why did you do that? I know you hate my guts. Why defend me against meat sack?"
"I'm guessing you heard that?" I nodded.
"Like I said, no one deserves that."
"Come on dingo face, theres gotta be more than that."
"There is. But it's not something I really want to talk about. Especially with you. Lets just say I've had a friend in the same situation back home, and I don't want the same outcome for you." She stopped walking and turned to face me. I know realised why she was talking so quietly in the hall that first day.
"This doesn't mean I like you, at all. But that shit that he just pulled, that's not cool. I don't care who its from Or what they have to say to justify themselves. When it comes to.. to this," she emphasised, not using a word that could have any connotations, "I have your back."